by Zara Zenia
I picked out a table in the corner, completely in the shadows. We stayed for a few hours and listened to a couple different bands. She was right about this place. She had excellent taste in music.
We would try to talk to each other, but the music was too loud. Instead, we sat quietly and enjoyed the music. She grabbed my hand from under the table, and we interlaced fingers. It felt nice.
I could hear the ringing in my ears once we got back into her car. My ears seemed extra sensitive these days.
“Thanks for the night out,” I said. “That was a lot of fun.”
“Thanks for coming with me,” she replied. “I always tried to get my boyfriend to go with me, but he’s not into that kind of music.”
However positive it was, I didn’t want to be compared to her ex-boyfriend.
“The night is still young,” she said. “What should we do next?”
“Want to go back to my place?”
She got a devilish smile on her face and nodded. She had an appetite that could not be satiated.
“Have things gotten better with your parents?” I asked.
“Not really. My dad is an ass, as per usual, and my mom always backs him up. Everything is about the same.”
“Makes me sort of glad I never knew my parents,” I said, wistfully.
Her face fell. “I suppose my parents aren’t that bad,” she said quickly.
“It’s fine,” I said. “When I was younger, I really thought I wanted to know who they were. After so much time has passed, I don’t think I really care any more.”
“Your childhood sounded rough,” she said.
“Yeah, at times it was. All I know is, if I had a child, I wouldn’t want to put them through that. Kids need stable guardians. I wouldn’t wish my childhood on anyone.”
I tried to change the subject by talking about the bands we heard at the show. I think Dana could sense my discomfort. Thankfully, before we knew it, we were back at my place.
“I’m kinda hungry,” she said. “Should we go out and get something to eat?”
“Nah,” I replied. “I’ll just make us something.”
“You can cook?” She seemed surprised.
“We can have spaghetti. Nothing special.”
I boiled the noodles and dumped a jar of sauce on top. I wasn’t a master chef, but it was edible. We slurped up our plates within minutes.
“I think you would make a good father,” Dana concluded as I rinsed off our dishes.
“What makes you say that?”
“You’re strong and kind. You look like a tough guy, but you have a gentle side.”
“I disagree. I can’t even imagine having kids now. I have no stability in my life.”
I walked down the hall to my room and plopped down on my bed. She followed.
“Do you ever think about settling down, getting married, and having kids?” she asked.
I thought about the fact that I was likely being pursued by a dangerous secret government organization.
“Honestly, no. Maybe in the far away distant future, but even then, I don’t know. What about you?”
“Oh, I’m not sure either,” she said distantly.
She changed the subject. “If you could live anywhere, where would you want to go?”
I thought for a second. I’d lived just about everywhere.
“I’ve always wanted to live close to the mountains. I think it would be cool to live in a cabin in the middle of the woods.”
“I think I would miss civilization too much,” she responded. “I’ve always been drawn to big cities. My dream is to run my own business in the city, and never have to answer to anyone.”
I laughed. “You have such lofty goals.”
“Well, if you could do anything, what would you do?” she asked.
“I think it would be fun to work in a club. It would be cool to DJ or something. I’d even work security. I just like to be around music.”
“I could see you doing that.”
We had sex again that night, but this time it was different. Instead of our usual frantic style of sex, things were slower and more relaxed. When we finished, she got dressed and left.
Just like we agreed.
Chapter 9
Elijah
I hadn’t heard from Dana much since our night out. I saw brief glimpses of her at work, but she had friends in from out of town, so that occupied her evenings. She asked me if I wanted to meet them, and I had to decline. The fewer people I knew, the better.
I couldn’t fathom how I went years without sex during my time in the army and in The Organization. I hadn’t been with Dana in almost five days and I was hungry for it.
One hot afternoon, she came by the site with a cooler of cold cans of soda. She passed them out to all of the workers, and like usual, I stood in the back, hoping I’d get a second to talk to her.
She tossed me a can, threw the cooler in the truck and sped away. I was trying to think of what I did wrong when I saw the tiny note stuck to the condensation of the can:
Meet me at the office at 6:00. Wait for me at the back entrance.
I grinned. What a dirty girl! I wondered what kind of kinky stuff she had planned for me. We could have easily gone to my place, but maybe that was getting a bit too vanilla for her. I thought of all of the different positions I’d put her in that evening. I couldn’t wait for the work day to be over.
Right on time, I lightly tapped the back door, hoping no one was around. She opened the door to the dark office building.
“We have to be quick today,” she said. “I bought myself some extra time here, but I’ll have to be home in thirty minutes.”
“More than enough time for me,” I said, stripping off her shirt.
She pulled me back into her dad’s office, shutting the door behind us. I tore her clothes off, and she took her time stripping me down.
She kissed me softly on the lips and I pushed her up against the wall, pinning her hands above her head.
“No,” she whispered, against my neck. “On the couch.”
She led me over to a loveseat on the other side of the room. She laid down and pulled me on top of her. I was aching to get inside of her; it had been too long since our last time. I broke my lips away from hers and entered her, thrusting with great determination.
“Slower,” she said.
I stopped. “Is something wrong?”
“Not at all,” she said. “I just want to enjoy the sensation of your body against mine.” She pulled my face toward hers and kissed me harder.
I didn’t want to do it slow. Frankly, I was tired from working in the heat all day and just wanted to get off so I could go home and relax.
“Do you…like me?” she asked.
“Well, I generally don’t fuck girls in their father’s office if I don’t like them,” I joked.
She accepted my answer, but I didn’t get the feeling she was satisfied with it. I continued to thrust in and out of her. I was about to come when she abruptly sat up.
“What’s up?” I asked.
“I just want you to know that I really like being with you.”
“I do too.”
I kissed her hard, and gently rested my body on top of hers. My hips picked up the pace and I finally came. She gave a few quiet moans as I finished inside of her.
I got up and pulled my clothes on.
“Where are you in such a hurry to get to?” she asked.
I pointed to the clock. “You said you only have thirty minutes. I don’t want you to get in trouble.” I kissed her on the cheek.
“Right,” she said, absentmindedly.
She quickly pulled on her clothes and we left through the back entrance. She checked to make sure no one was outside before she kissed me hard on the mouth.
“I’ll see you around,” I said.
“Yeah, see you later.”
I was starting to doubt this little agreement that we had entered into. Something had changed when we had sex. It wasn’t
as hot and dirty as it used to be when we first started. It was more gentle and tender. It was good, but it was different.
I knew that it was completely possible for two people to have sex and not have feelings for each other. I’d done it before. I was no stranger to the one-night stand. I wasn’t offended if I had sex and the girl never called me back. There were other girls out there. There would always be more.
I didn’t want Dana to fall in love with me. I knew I had to leave soon, and I couldn’t take her with me, much less say where I was going. I couldn’t have her looking for me either.
Maybe it wasn’t a good idea to see her several times a week. She was like a drug; I had her so often that I needed her when she was away. I couldn’t have this kind of sexual dependency with her. Maybe we saw too much of each other. I made a note in my head to tell her that we should cut our secret rendezvous down to once a week, tops.
Out of all the girls I could have chosen to sleep with, my boss’s daughter probably wasn’t a good pick. I had no choice but to see her all of the time. Just watching her walk around or smile at me made me weak. I hated feeling weak.
The next time I had a moment alone with her, I would set some boundaries. We would see each other as infrequently as our sexual appetites could handle and under no circumstances, would we develop feelings for each other. Sex would be like a business transaction. A naughty, sexy business transaction.
I went home and stepped into the shower. I could smell Dana’s perfume on me. It smelled so sweet and familiar. I often noticed the scent on my pillows during our regular get-togethers. I made a note to wash my sheets the upcoming weekend. I didn’t want anything around that made me think of her more than what was necessary.
I had been hiding out in Springfield for over a month. It was about time to plan my next step. First, I had to figure out how to cure my addiction to Dana.
Chapter 10
Dana
It’s times like these that I wish Elijah had a phone. It seemed insane that in this day and age, someone could go completely off the grid. Really, this was unheard of.
A few days ago, I caught him as he was leaving work and asked him if we could hang out this weekend. I suggested we go to a movie or go to the club, but he said he would rather just hook up at his place. I supposed that would be fine, too.
I showed up to his place on Saturday night and tapped on the door like I always did. He was always quick to answer, as if he was standing at the door waiting for me.
I waited a minute before I knocked again. No answer. After a third try, I got into my car. It had started to rain, and I wasn’t about to get drenched waiting at his doorstep. I waited another ten minutes, just to see if he would show up. Maybe he ran to the store or went to get food. I don’t know what he does apart from work and me.
At this point, I wasn’t really worried. I certainly wasn’t the jealous type, and we weren’t in a relationship. He could do whatever he wanted. It just seemed odd that he wouldn’t be waiting for me when I’m pretty sure we agreed to hang out. I went and saw a movie alone, since he didn’t want to go with me.
Afterward, I thought I’d go back. I couldn’t help but think that he was in the shower, getting ready for an evening with me when I arrived. Maybe I got the time wrong. I’d been especially forgetful these days.
I knocked again and waited. One minute. Knock again. Two minutes. Nothing. Now I was a little concerned. Did I do something wrong?
I did a mental checklist of every interaction we had in the past week. We hooked up at his place. He seemed pretty happy then. I was confident that he had a good time. We subtly flirted at work, and since he didn’t completely avoid me, I knew that he was still into me. Then, there was the sex we had in my dad’s office.
He did seem a little cold. He went about things very mechanically, like he wanted to finish as fast as possible and go. I wanted more.
Since there was no answer, yet again, I decided I would just go home. I really needed to talk to him, though.
I wasn’t sure how I felt about him any more. It’s hard to spend so much time with someone and not make a connection. Especially when we knew each other’s bodies so well.
He’s a hard person to read. I wanted to know if he liked me more than just a sex partner. Like, even as a friend or acquaintance. I couldn’t really tell what he thought about me. If he had asked me the same question, I would admit that I liked him. I wouldn’t mind being more than just friends, or sex acquaintances. I knew that things were complicated with our jobs and my dad being our boss, but if we could make our little arrangement work, maybe we could give dating a shot. I didn’t want to have to sneak over in the dead of night, just to spend time together.
I could just cut myself off from him all together. I wasn’t in the mood to be heartbroken over a guy. I had been there before, and it wasn’t worth it. We could both move on and pretend like it never happened.
And I could explain all of this to him, if he’d just open his fucking door.
The next day, I went back. Starting at noon, I knocked on his door at hourly intervals. Each time, there was nothing. I tried to peek in through his curtains and the peephole, but it was still dark.
I was pretty frustrated by this point. If he didn’t want to see me, he could tell me that. I was a big girl. I could handle it.
But, I really couldn’t leave him alone until we spoke. I had a lot I needed to tell him, and I hoped he could clear some things up for me too. Eventually, I went home, tired of being ignored. I counted the days since we first met on my calendar. Thirty-five. We had amazing sex countless times over the past month, yet he didn’t have the decency to tell me it was over. We were good together, too. You don’t just throw that away without having a good reason.
He couldn’t hide from me forever, though. Not when we worked together.
I had a doctor appointment first thing on Monday morning, or else I would have been waiting for him at the construction site. As soon as I got in to work, I started thinking of excuses to why I needed to visit that exact site. I told my dad that I was taking some supplies over there, feeling sick with nerves.
“My dad wants to know how your crew numbers have been lately,” I lied to the foreman. “Are your regular workers all accounted for?”
“Yeah, I think so,” he replied. “There’s always a few that come and go, but for the most part, I think we’re right on track.”
This answer wasn’t what I was looking for. I found a few guys that I recognized.
“Hey, have you seen that tall guy? The one with the big muscles, doesn’t say much? I think his name is Elijah. Do you know who I’m talking about?”
“Yeah, I know him. And no, he didn’t show up today. It sucks that he’s not here, because he always did the heavy lifting for us.”
“Ok, thank you,” I said with a shaky voice. “Let me know if he turns up.”
I got back in the truck. My hands were shaking too much to drive, so I just sat there for a while.
I took a few deep breaths. There was probably a reasonable explanation for all of this. He could also be sick, which would explain why he wouldn’t show up for work. Maybe he decided to meet up with someone from his past, after all. Still, I couldn’t help but blame myself.
My phone buzzed. My first thought was that it was a call from Elijah—a completely illogical thought since he had no phone, and didn’t know my number. Instead it was an email with my electronic medical record. I followed the link the clinic sent me and scrolled down to see my results from earlier this morning.
Thyroid Function: Normal
White Blood Cell Count: Normal
Pregnancy Test: Positive
I felt completely numb, like I was in a dream. I turned the keys in the ignition and drove back to the office. It was a wonder that I didn’t get into a wreck on the way there, because I don’t even remember driving back.
Even though I scheduled the appointment at the clinic and specifically asked for a pregnancy test, I really did
n’t think I was pregnant. Sure, I had missed my period, but I was also under a lot of stress. Elijah and I didn’t use condoms, but I was on the pill, and he said that he had been tested recently. I decided to get checked out when I took a few home pregnancy tests. One said positive and one said negative, so I decided the doctor would be the tie breaker.
After I took the home tests on Saturday, I went to see Elijah. I didn’t know for sure, but I needed to let him know that there was a possibility that I was pregnant. Now it was confirmed, and he was nowhere to be found.
I went back into the office, noticeably upset after hearing this life changing news. My dad was standing by my desk when I walked in.
“Where have you been? I thought you were just dropping off supplies? You’ve been gone for a while and I had no one to set up the conference room.”
“Sorry,” I said weakly. I had no energy to put up a fight today.
“Is something wrong?” he asked. “Is it your monthly, uh, you know?”
I wish it were.
“I’m pregnant,” I blurted out.
“What?” he hissed. He grabbed my arm and pulled me to his office.
“Excuse me?” he said, closing the door behind us. “I don’t think I heard you correctly.”
“Judging by your reaction, I think you heard perfectly,” I retorted.
“Who did this to you? I didn’t think you were dating anyone.”
“I wasn’t. I met a guy and things just happened.”
“Tell me who it is. I’ll have a word with him.”
“Don’t. I can handle this myself. I don’t want you to scare him away.”
“Dana, just tell me who it is,” he said, his voice softening with exasperation.
“It’s—” I took a deep breath. “It’s one of your workers. His name is Elijah. I met him when he started working here a little over a month ago. We started to spend time together and—”
My dad flew out of the office and barged in to the file room, wildly pulling open cabinet drawers.
“What’s his last name, Dana?” he asked, looking through employee files.
