'Foul-mouthed wretch!' Sister Theresa shouted. She crashed her leatherbound Bible against Luis's head and knocked him off his seat. 'Evil, poisonous brute!' Her large shoes kicked him to the front of the class. Another beating was on its way. Sister Theresa died of a stroke the following year, and all the other nuns blamed Luis Cabrillo; but by then Luis was in another town, another school, and another battle.
As he grew older, his conflicts became more dogged. He refused to learn any geography because the school could give him no good reason, why he. should memorise the principal rivers of Australia. He was in trouble in the art class, where his nude studies were considered too explicit. 'Unhealthy' was the word the art teacher used. 'But this same human body was good enough for El Greco and Goya and Rubens and Raphael,' Luis argued. 'There's acres of flesh hanging in the Prado, isn't there?' For once he was not beaten, but was sent out to play soccer. That didn't work either. He tripped opponents and he handled the ball so often that the teacher who was refereeing threatened to send him off. 'But tripping and handling are difficult skills,' Luis claimed. 'Besides, how can the game ever develop unless new techniques are introduced?' 'Shut up, Cabrillo,' the referee said. 'Free kick against your team.' Two minutes later, Luis tripped the referee.
That was the day he left school for good. He possessed only one academic skill: he could read and write English and (to some extent) speak it, no thanks to any of the schools he had passed through. Luis Cabrillo had taught himself English so that he could get his moneys worth out of the American movies, which were his big interest in life. He was about thirteen when he realised that Spanish subtitles were far briefer than the dialogue on the soundtrack. This was not only a swindle but also an insult. In Luis's experience the only things worth his attention were stuff the authorities wanted to hide. He bought a teach-yourself-English book and studied it all day in school: through geography lessons, algebra lessons, divinity lessons. The book was confiscated. He bought another. Eventually he knew enough English to identify what the Spanish subtitles were avoiding, and sometimes he took it upon himself to fill in the gaps for the benefit of others. When a cowboy punched a gambler through a saloon window, and the Spanish caption offered only a terse 'Begone!', Luis loosely but loudly translated the soundtrack's actual beat it, you fourflushing sonofabitch or I'll kick your teeth past your tonsils. He was thrown out of so many cinemas that he became known to the police. Also to the secret police.
At first that didn't much matter. It was 1934, he was only fifteen, the disapproval of the police or the secret police meant no more to him than had the disapproval of a whole series of teachers and headmasters. And young Luis had no politics, unless chronic dissatisfaction with everything counts as politics. His parents had other things to preoccupy them: railway timetables for his father, piano-playing for his mother. She was convinced that she had talent, perhaps great talent, if only she could bully her fingers into expressing it. One of the perquisites of her husband's job was that every time he got transferred the company moved all their belongings free; so Luis became accustomed to travelling with her scratched and scarred grand piano. He never got accustomed to her tirelessly bad playing. Senora Cabrillo attacked the keyboard as if it were a lengthy combination lock, a bit stiff, a bit grudging, which had to be struck scientifically but ruthlessly in the correct sequence before it would deliver up its treasure. Day after day she kept striking it, year after year, with chords like village carpentry and cadenzas like heavy rope, and still no treasure showed itself. To Luis each of his parents was lost on some endless, pointless search. His father was the Flying Dutchman of the Spanish railway system, and his mother had a stranglehold on her piano if only she could find its jugular. They fed, clothed and housed him, but otherwise took little interest. When the incident of the tripped referee brought about angry and tedious repercussions, he decided to leave school and get a job. Neither parent interfered.
Chapter 3
They were living in Barcelona at the time.
The man who wrote film reviews for Barcelona's biggest evening paper, Luis noted, was also the bullfight critic and sometimes covered football matches. The editor got a letter from Luis proposing himself as the newpaper's first full-time film critic. Attached was a review of a film currently being shown in the city. It was a miracle of compression: Luis managed to libel the star, the director, the film critic of a rival newspaper, and the owners of the cinema, all in 250 words. But he had a certain style -- 'the trouble with this film is that it goes on long after it has finished', he wrote -- and so the editor offered him a job as a copy boy. 'I have a nose for talent,' the editor said. 'Work hard, learn all you can, and maybe one day you'll be sitting in this chair.'
That was fine and very encouraging, except for one thing: Luis was fifteen and the editor (as he discovered by looking up his file in the obituary department) was fifty-three. Luis took the job but he wasn't willing to wait thirty-eight years. For a couple of weeks he trotted about the building, carrying copy from writers and sub-editors, from subs to typesetters; taking proofs in the reverse direction; fetching coffee; finding taxis; listening to arguments over pictures, headlines, expenses; getting a sense of the way a daily newspaper gradually winds itself up from a slightly bleary sluggishness through a brisk professionalism to a manic, mannerless, get-the-hell-out-of-my-way rush, as if the paper itself were a wild beast which had to be set free; and then the slump, the anti-climax, the taste of flatness when there was nothing left to do but read the damn thing.
He quite enjoyed it but after a couple of weeks he was still just a copy boy.
The paper published its film reviews on Tuesdays and Fridays. The following Tuesday, as he picked up the cinema critic's copy, Luis respectfully asked him which film he intended to honour with his comments on Friday. When Friday came round, Luis again collected the man's words, took them to the entertainment's editor, and hung around until he was given the pages to be set. He went away and hid them inside his shirt. The typesetters, he knew from observation, would need about twenty minutes to do their work. He delayed until the last possible moment, and then gave them his own film review.
It almost got through. The printers accepted it -- Luis's version looked convincing, even to the extent of a few corrections in the entertainment's editor's green ink -- and after that, time was so short that nobody bothered to read the proof very closely. This was not unusual: the film critic was stiflingly tedious. In fact Luis's rogue column was actually printed in a few thousand early issues meant for the suburbs. As the bundles were being loaded onto the vans, they were recalled for pulping. His headline had given him away.
New French Film Is Good News For Insomniacs, the editor read as he glanced through his rush copy. He read it again. It looked odd; not like the usual stuff: too crisp, too sharp. He read the opening paragraph and laughed aloud, twice. Then he picked up the phone, killed the column, (they put in a picture of swans at sunset instead) and fired Cabrillo on the spot.
Luis found out later where he had gone wrong, and it taught him a lesson. 'You can be too good,' he told his father. 'Now if I'd written a dull, boring headline, the kind of thing they run every week, my piece would have gone through.'
'So why didn't you?' His father never went to the cinema and rarely read a newspaper.
'Because the whole point was to show them how much better it can be done.'
'For God's sake,' his father complained, 'I thought you said that's why they sacked you.'
'So it is,' Luis said angrily. 'And I lost a week's pay.'
'Well, serve you right. You knew your job, didn't you? You should have stuck to it. Suppose I needed a locomotive -- '
'I'm not a damn locomotive,' Luis said. His father stared. 'Oh, to hell with them,' Luis muttered. 'It was a lousy job anyway.'
'Then get yourself another. I can't keep you in cinema-tickets.'
He went to work for a wine merchant and for ten days he corked bottles. Next morning he arrived with both hands heavily bandaged. 'Broke
my fingers in a boxing-match,' he announced. 'Can't cork.'
The owner swore a bit, found him a fairly clean white coat and put him in the front office, to help attend to customers.. At first the arrangement worked well. Luis was quick and courteous. He was old enough and grown enough to have the beginnings of a presence, yet he still conveyed some of the innocence and vulnerability of youth. And he was handsome as only a young Spaniard can be, with a trace of melancholy, a hint of tragedy, and a glimmer of amusement that anyone should be taken in by either. His eyes were a cool, dark brown. His skin was flawless, shaded olive and stretched over high cheekbones and strong-brows in memory of some distant Moorish ancestor. He had a brief but brilliant smile for the customers' wives which made them forget their boring husbands. For the husbands, sampling wines, he had an attitude of interest and respect which made them feel like Baron Rothschild. Luis rarely spoke, he simply attended; but he was a definite asset to the front office.
On the afternoon of Luis's second day in the white coat, the owner received a semi-important local politician and his wife. For half an hour they tasted samples which Luis poured, holding each bottle in a white napkin and demonstrating a small flourish of pride, while the owner released his limited wine-vocabulary a word at a time, like toy balloons: mature . . . discreet , . . robust . . . challenging . . . brave. . .
He opened a fresh bottle and handed it to Luis.
'Now this is something different,' he said. 'Those others are good wines, excellent wines some of them. But this I have kept apart for several years, awaiting . . .' He leaned forward and watched closely as Luis poured. '. . , awaiting a palate which can appreciate the gift of time.'
Luis stiffened. The politician's wife noticed this, and glanced at him. Luis finished pouring, but omitted the usual small flourish.
They raised their glasses and examined the wine. 'Once in a lifetime,' the owner said. 'Perhaps, if God wills it, twice. Ten years ago, when I was privileged to make this discovery, it was so small and so rare that I made the decision that I must bottle it all myself, with these very hands.'
'No you didn't,' Luis said.
Three heads turned and stared. The owner's eyes were sick with rage. Luis tightened his grip on the bottle and breathed deeply.
'Explain yourself,' invited the politician's wife.
'He didn't bottle this stuff ten years ago,' Luis declared. 'I bottled it last week. There's enough of it downstairs to drown an elephant.'
'Get out,' the owner ordered. 'The boy is feeble-minded," he told them, smiling savagely.
'Two elephants,' Luis said. His heart was galloping, squeezing all the air from his lungs.
'Ignore him, the child is drunk,' the owner said. He wanted to grab Luis but Luis had moved behind a table and the owner was afraid of a humiliating chase. 'He is a halfwit, you see. I took him on as a favour, a halfwit, he says these things, stupid meaningless things.' The owner was sweating like old cheese. 'And when I am not looking he drinks. A drunken halfwit.'
'I am not a child,' Luis said evenly. 'I am fifteen years old.' He pressed his thighs against the edge of the table to stop them trembling.
The politician and his wife looked at each other. 'Well, my dear,' he said. 'Shall we taste the wine?' They tasted the wine and gazed past each other, lips pursed. The owner stood with his fingers curled and straining at his cuffs. His jaw muscles flickered with tension, and Luis could hear his teeth make a faint squeak. Luis began to be afraid.
At last the politician swallowed, and looked into his glass. His wife swallowed, and he glanced sideways at her.
'The boy is wrong,' she said quietly. 'This is not fit even for elephants.'
They put their glasses on the table in front of Luis, and she gave him just the beginnings of a smile. They went out, escorted by the owner, who was thunderous with silence. As he closed the door behind them he turned and snatched up a walking-cane. 'You stinking little bastard streak of whore's-piss," he whispered in case the politician and his wife heard. 'I'm going to cut your ass into strips for that!'
Luis showed him four bottles of the firm's irreplaceable five-star brandy, each bottle individually numbered, dated and signed by a monk who was long since dead. He held two bottles in each hand, like Indian clubs. 'You come near me and I'll smash them all,' he said.
'I'll kill you!' the owner hissed. He realised that the politician and wife were out of earshot. 'I'll kick your filthy guts out!' he roared.
'You were going to do that anyway,' Luis said. His arms were starting to ache. The owner took a sudden step forward and Luis twitched, so that the bottles clinked. The owner froze.
I want a taxi,' Luis said. 'Get it outside the front door with the engine running. When I'm inside it, you can have these back.'
The owner cursed and stamped about the room, while Louis braced himself and prayed that his fingers would not lose their grip. Eventually the man stormed out and shouted furiously for a taxi. Luis followed, cautiously, and eased himself into the back seat, never taking his eye off the owner. 'When I say go,' he told the driver, 'please drive like hell.' He thrust the bottles out of the window and into the owner's arms. 'Go!' he shouted. The taxi leaped forward with a scream of wheelspin, flinging Luis back against the cushions. The last he saw of the owner was a contorted figure desperately failing to stop one bottle slipping through his arms and smashing on the cobblestones.
Luis had to interrupt his mother's piano-practice in order to borrow the taxi-fare. She wasn't interested in hearing about his experience and she was annoyed at the interruption. She was also very annoyed at Chopin, who was resisting her with more than his usual stubbornness. To punish them both, she made Luis stand beside her and beat time. He wasn't much good at beating time, so she soon had the satisfaction of correcting him. That left only Chopin to be overcome, and Senora Cabrillo was fairly confident that one day she would beat him too. She had the stamina, and Chopin wasn't getting any younger.
Chapter 4
The following week Luis's father was transferred to Valencia, where Luis got a job as a waiter and kept it for almost a month.
He quite enjoyed being a waiter, and he learned a lot, especially from serving tourists.
'They say they want coffee,' he complained to Jose-Carlos, the head waiter, on his third day. 'I just gave them their soup and already they want coffee!'
Jose-Carlos identified the table. 'Americans,' he said approvingly. 'Give them coffee now. Give them what they want. They ask for coffee, water, ketchup, ice-cream, more coffee, hot rolls, cold rolls, stale rolls, cheese before beef, fruit before fish, soup with jam -- anything, as long as we have got it, you give it to them. Make 'em happy.'
'Yes, but coffee on top of soup ..." Luis shook his head.
'Listen: don't tell people what they like. 'Jose-Carlos gave him a shove. 'You give them what they want and they'll give you what you want.'
The Americans got ample coffee and Luis got a good tip. Thereafter his whole attitude changed, and nothing was impossible. He learned to anticipate: hungry patrons need food at once, if it's only bread and olives; when the steak is tough make sure the knives are sharp; to the man who pays the bill goes the tastiest portion. And so on.
Towards the end, Luis discovered a harmless little ruse which boosted his tips appreciably. He had just presented a bill and he was halfway back to the kitchen when he realised he'd overcharged them. Included an order of mushrooms which got cancelled. Tiny mistake. For a second he hesitated, looking back at the table where a large, bald man was laughing at somebody else's joke while he spread banknotes over the bill, Luis knew what to do: say nothing,- cross out mushrooms and pocket the difference. That's what anybody else would do. So he went back and corrected the bill. At first the bald man was irritated; he thought Luis had forgotten something and was now adding it on. Then he was pleased -- more pleased than the few pesetas' saving was worth. In the end most of it went to swell Luis's tip.
After that Luis regularly forgot to cancel the mushrooms.
>
Jose-Carlos observed how frequently Luis had to return to his tables and adjust the bill, and he commented on it. 'I try to make people happy,' Luis said.
'I don't mind that,' Jose-Carlos told him. 'Just make it eggs mayonnaise once in a while.'
It was neither mushrooms nor egg mayonnaise that got Luis sacked, however, but cherry ice-cream.
He had begun to make something of a personal crusade out of giving customers exactly what they wanted. Coffee between courses was too easy; he nagged the kitchen into stocking hot mustard for the English, pumpernickel for the Germans, escargots for the French. Most of these extras went to waste; too few foreigners used the restaurant. Luis ignored this. Just serving people from the menu was boring; he wanted to surprise them, to bring them the impossible.
One evening the kitchen was going full blast -- the chef cooking with one hand and slicing with the other, worrying over what his girlfriend might be doing at that moment, sweat stinging his eyes -- when Luis breezed in.
'My friend the rich American wants cherry ice-cream,' he announced.
'He's out of luck,' the chef growled. He began cooking an omelette while he sautéed some kidneys and tried to work out where the fish soup had gone wrong.
'Come on, chef, I promised him,' Luis urged. 'He's home-sick, he said he bet we didn't have cherry ice-cream.'
'He's right. Hot plates' the chef bawled.
Luis stood and stared. He hated to go back to the American and lose face. On the other hand the chef was obviously choosing to be completely unhelpful. He saw him wince as he slid the omelette onto a plate which was so hot it made the food sizzle.
'You've got cherries, haven't you?' Luis asked.
'Yes.' Kidneys came off, veal went on, another waiter claimed the omelette.
'And you've got ice-cream.'
The chef nodded and basted a chicken.
The Eldorado Network Page 2
