by Michael Todd
As he hung up the phone, he finally found the light switch. He flipped on the lights and squinted, blinking to get used to the bright lights. Angie looked at him with a smirk. He had transformed into a smaller version of a human with dark hair and a chiseled body, and he was wearing what could only be described as a male version of the gold slave bikini Leia wore in Star Wars. A chain dangled from one of his wrists, and there were small red marks all over his chest.
Angie sat up in the bed, her hair wild around her and her makeup smeared across her cheeks. Juntto’s eyes moved over her, and he smirked. She was dressed—well, half-dressed—in black, with one black glove on her hand. The bed was completely tangled, sheets and blankets everywhere. In her hand she held a green “lightsaber” dildo. She clicked it off and set it down on the bedside table.
With another sigh, she shrugged. “Sometimes this job is a bit too much. We were just getting to the good part. I have to admit, you make a much better Slave Leia than she did in the movie.”
Juntto gasped, putting his hand to his chest. “Don’t ever let any of the nerds hear you say that. They may create a large fire and sacrifice you to the Star Wars gods. They used to do that in my dimension, only to the real gods. It wasn’t pretty.”
Angie smirked and crawled across the bed to the end. Juntto morphed into the body of Luke Skywalker from Return of the Jedi. He sat down on the edge of the bed and put his hands on Angie’s face, pressing his lips to hers. She closed her eyes and sighed as he kissed her.
She opened her eyes as he pulled back. “You do not know the power of the Dark Side. I must obey my master.”
Angie smiled. “I will not turn, and you will be forced to kill me.”
Juntto held back a smile. “I’m sorry all of this happened, but the Force is strong in me, and I have to go where I am needed.”
Angie lay back, letting out a deep sigh. Juntto crawled toward her. “Luckily, this Star Wars thing has lasted for generations. It will still be here when I get back.”
Angie leaned up and kissed him again. “I know. And I know you have to go. I’m not mad at you, I promise. I just really thought for a hot minute we were going to get all the way through some alone-time before something called one of us away. Did you say something about the pencil?”
Juntto nodded. “I did. There is an incursion in Washington, DC. They apparently have destroyed the pencil, and they’ve let loose an EMP. There are no lights in that area, and most of the technology close to where they set it off is out. Not sure how long it will take for them to get it back. Either way, I am the man for the job, so I have to get there as fast as I can.”
Angie reached up, pushing a piece of hair back from Juntto’s face. “I know. I am not happy about it, but I understand there is nothing that you can do about it. We will just have to pick up this experiment later. I have to say, I think this might be a successful one to add to our bag of tricks.”
Juntto smiled and jumped up. “As long as we don’t do that princess and toadstool one again. That one was cool until I saw us in the mirror. You look very strange in a mushroom hat.”
Angie laughed. “I have to admit, it wasn’t as fun to ride the princess as I thought it might be. Plus, pink isn’t really your color, and you are not the frost giant to pull off blond hair.”
Juntto changed back into himself, although shorter and less stocky than normal. He hurried over to the closet and retrieved several duffel bags, then pulled out the Juntto-sized weapons, grunting as he put them in the bags.
Angie sat up, narrowing her eyes. “Didn’t I tell you not to store those things in the closet?”
Juntto cleared his throat. “Uh, I had nowhere else to put them, and you don’t use this closet.”
Angie pursed her lips. “Who do you think puts away your clothes?”
Juntto grinned. “I’ll find a better place when I get back.”
Angie rolled her eyes and crossed her arms. “Mmhmm. Be careful.”
Juntto hurried over and gave her a big kiss before grabbing his bag and heading out of the condo. Downstairs, he ran out the front, nodding at a few of the people waiting to catch a rare glimpse of Katie. She was rarely in New York anymore. A car with tinted windows pulled up and Juntto climbed in, lugging his weapons with him. The car went down a couple of inches from the weight.
He closed the door and nodded at the driver. In the passenger seat was an agent, there to brief him. “Your flight will be heading straight to DC. When you arrive, you will be taken directly to the center of the events. Did you bring your weapons?”
Juntto slapped his bags. “Sure did. I have my large machine gun and my spear. I just have to twist the spear together and I’ll be ready. I also have some human-sized weapons in case I have to shrink and use them. I don’t have an endless supply of bullets for my gun, though.”
The agent glanced at the huge bags and raised an eyebrow. “No, I suppose it takes a bit to make bullets that large. So, I am assuming this is not your normal size?”
Juntto laughed. “Not even close. Unfortunately, with the weapons in here, if I show you my true size, I may blow the tires right off of your car.”
The guy cleared his throat nervously. “Not necessary; I get the idea. Either way, we will get you loaded in. There is food on the flight for you if you need it, but the flight between the two cities is very short, so it shouldn’t take long to get you there. If you need anything else, you can contact General Brushwood.”
Juntto nodded and sat back, watching the city speed by. The agent in the front turned back around, and they rode the rest of the way to the airport in silence. When they got there, some of the crew tried to help Juntto with his bags. He turned to find three men grunting as they tried to lift a bag off the ground. Juntto laughed and walked over, grabbing the strap and lifting it without any problem. “Let me help you.”
He put it in the cargo hold, the plane creaking as he dropped it in. He brushed off his hands and headed to the stairs, looking back at the agent, who was watching him board. He nodded and headed into the plane, excited to smell the scent of fresh donuts on board. “Oh, good. I could eat a house right now. Being Leia is exhausting.”
The room in Paris was dark, only a small candle flickering on the other side of it. The curtains on the windows were pulled shut tightly to keep any light from the city from creeping into the space. Pandora and Katie were still separated, sleeping in their own beds across from each other. Katie slept soundly, her pillow pulled over her head. She had never realized that Pandora was a snorer since she’d usually slept inside of her. Still, the space was nice, so she wasn’t going to complain.
Outside, there was very little movement except for the roving watch that passed the apartment building once an hour. They were almost done with their shift since it was very early in the morning, and the next watch came on a couple of hours before everyone else had to report for duty. The ground was frosty from the cold night air, but the wind barely blew at all. It was a beautiful night in Paris, but Katie and Pandora were both happy to be sleeping. They’d had a long day of sparring with each other and the new Damned.
The vibration of Katie’s phone on the end table woke Pandora. She grumbled and turned over, staring at the light on the screen. “Katie.”
Katie didn’t move.
Pandora growled and spoke louder. “Katie!”
Katie groaned, pulling the pillow off her head and slurring her words. “What. Fuck.”
Pandora picked up the phone and tossed at her head. “You are being summoned.”
Katie took a deep breath and picked up the phone, squinting at the screen, which bore a picture of Angie. Knowing that Angie wouldn’t interrupt her sleep without cause, she quickly answered. “Angie, what’s wrong?”
Angie’s voice was filled with worry. “There has been an incursion in DC. Juntto just left to catch a flight there.”
Katie sat up in bed and clicked on the light. “What?”
Angie turned the volume up on the tv. “I’m watch
ing it right now on the news. Katie, it looks really bad. There is a huge crack in the Washington Monument, and demons everywhere.”
Katie looked at Pandora. “The pencil? They got to the pencil?”
Angie sighed. “Really? You call it the pencil too? What are we, twelve years old?”
Katie shook her head, trying to wrap her mind around what was going on. “So, okay. Incursion in the nation’s capital. You are saying they are all over the Mall? Like, how all over it?”
Angie watched the scene unfolding. “They are running all over, crashing into the buildings and attacking cars. I mean, holy shit, they are fucking destroying whatever they can. Also, they used an EMP demon and took out the electricity around there.”
Katie rubbed her face. “And? I mean, are they going nuts anywhere else? Brushwood hasn’t called me. Maybe we should just wait and see what happens.”
There was a pause, and Angie’s voice started to shake. “It looks like they’re in the neighborhoods, too. Spreading through the city. North East, The Navy Yard, Anacostia, and…Adams Morgan too.”
Katie shook her head. “Yeah. We can’t wait for that. We can’t just let this continue. I’ll call you back, okay? Try not to worry.”
Angie groaned. “Doing my best.”
Katie hung up and looked at Pandora, who had gone back to sleep. She stood up and walked over, shaking her. Pandora snorted and squinted right and left. “What? What? Are we fucking or fighting?”
Katie chuckled, pulling on her clothes. “Fighting. And this looks like a good one.”
Pandora yawned, sitting up and tucking her tits back into her tank top. “Fine. I can do that before breakfast. But after…”
Katie put her guns in the holsters. “I know.”
Pandora leapt out of the bed and threw on her clothes. Katie looked at her and nodded, opening a portal. “Time to kick ass.”
Katie and Pandora walked out of the portal into an alternate dimension. Katie grimaced, and Pandora gasped excitedly. The city was absolutely spotless, the buildings gleaming brightly in the light. However, all around them were beautiful, perfect, naked people. Katie pulled her hands close to her so as not to brush against anyone.
A man with perfect blond hair, a chiseled body, and long legs walked over to Pandora. “Hello. I couldn’t help but notice you. Absolutely breathtaking! Could I possibly take you to dinner and then to bed?”
Pandora blinked at him for a moment and turned quickly to Katie, grabbing her wrists. “We can stay for just a couple of weeks, right?”
Katie laughed, opening a portal. “Sorry, darlin’. We’ve got work to do.”
Pandora pouted and waved at the guy. “I’ll remember you!”
Katie stepped through the portal, with Pandora stomping grumpily behind her. “They have this under control. I don’t know why…”
Katie pushed Pandora out of the way and jumped to the side as a rhino blew between them, running at full speed with his head down and his horn pointed straight ahead. It skidded to a stop and turned, its eyes glowing bright red. Immediately it charged back toward them as fast as its huge body could carry it.
Pandora lifted her eyebrows. “Okay, maybe I overestimated their control of the situation.”
Katie pulled her gun and raised it, pointing the barrel at the rhino’s head. She pulled the trigger and watched the bullet slam through the scales and into its skull. The rhino’s pumping legs slowed way down, and its head sank. Finally, it toppled to the ground, sliding all the way to Pandora’s and Katie’s feet before bursting into ash.
Katie looked at Pandora, and she glared back. “I guess we found the right place. Better take these bitches out before the military does so they can’t come back at us again.”
Pandora nodded. “Probably a good idea.”
She stepped to the side and curled her hands into fists, her body growing taller until she was twelve feet. Katie looked up at her and nodded. “You’re getting pretty good at that.”
Pandora smiled. “Thanks.”
She took off at a run, heading straight for one of the large demons standing in the middle of the Reflecting Pool. As she grew close, she reared her fist back, slamming it into the demon’s chin and knocking him into the water hard. Katie chuckled and flared her wings wide behind her. She looked around and pulled her other pistol, now having one in each hand. She beat her wings hard, soaring up in the air as a demon raced toward her.
She flipped over in midair and pointed her guns down, blasting the demon. It roared loudly, swinging its arms, but she was high enough that it couldn’t reach her. She laughed, hanging upside down as it stopped and stared up at her. She aimed the gun in her right hand between its eyes, pulling the trigger again. The bullet hit the demon and sped through the skull, lodging in its brain. It looked at her, confused for a moment before falling. Its body turned to ash as it landed.
Pandora picked up the large demon she’d dropped and slammed it down again, stabbing her sword through its neck. As she did, she felt a blast of heat above her. She dove out of the Reflecting Pool and watched as a portal opened above the pool, vomiting demons out of it hand over fist. There were hundreds; thousands even, of all sizes and shapes.
Pandora looked at Katie. “Uh oh. This shit just got real.”
While all hell broke loose on DC, Sonora, Texas found itself still in the danger zone. Deep in the woods, inside the dark cave off the hiking path, the walls vibrated wildly. In the darkness, two eyes opened, their bright green lighting up the cave. A creature of smoke and tentacles slowly began to creep from the recesses. As his body writhed beneath the moonlight, Kabbus became a reality. His body was rotund and sloppy, and he slithered along on dozens of tentacles surrounded by black smoke.
The shadow on the cave disappeared as he crawled into the forest, following the hikers’ trail.
5
Katie and Pandora wasted no time going to town on the demons infesting Washington. They stood in the middle of the Mall on either side of the Reflecting Pool, blasting and slicing every demon they could get their hands on as they fell from the portal in the sky.
Katie moved to the side, glancing at Pandora as one of the falling demons hit the ground running. It screeched and screamed loudly as it sprinted across the lawn. Pandora, still twelve feet tall, reached down and grabbed the demon by the head. She stepped back, kicked hard, and punted it up and over the Washington Monument. They heard the demon screaming as it disappeared.
Katie nodded her head. “That was a damn good kick. Maybe you should talk to someone about joining the football team.”
Pandora shrugged. “I would probably grab too many asses and they would kick me off. Besides, I don’t understand the obsession. Men in spandex never did it for me, even if they did have really nice asses. I have a really nice ass, and this is the most spandex I have ever worn.”
Katie shrugged. “Looks good on you.”
Pandora struck an exaggerated pose. “Likewise, sister.”
They both laughed, taking down several charging demons as they did. Pandora looked up at the monument and tilted her head to the side. “Still looks like a dick. Even more so with the crack up through the top. I wonder…if I rub it, will it give me a surprise?”
Katie laughed as she pulled the head off a small demon. “What do you think Congress uses to fuck us?”
Pandora giggled, shaking her huge finger at Katie. “I like you sometimes, you know that? Sometimes you can be a huge pain in my ass, but sometimes I really like you.”
Katie raised an eyebrow. “Sometimes, like now, you have a really huge ass.”
Pandora looked back at her ass. “Does this size make my ass look big?”
Katie shrugged, smiling. Above them, they could hear a plane. They both looked up as someone jumped, growing bigger as he approached the ground. A parachute exploded from his pack, yanking him upward. It was Juntto, and he quickly became annoyed with the parachute. He grew to full size and reached back, tearing the strings off.
H
e fell flat, belly down, pulling his machine gun around. His spear was strapped to his back. He started blasting the demons, careful not to hit Pandora or Katie. He lit their world up, creating a trail of bullet holes from the base of the Monument through the Reflecting Pool. Demons in all directions screeched and screamed, bursting into dust.
Pandora and Katie joined in as he plummeted toward the grass. Katie flipped backward, pumping her wings to take her higher in the air. She bit her lip as she fired, aiming for anything not caught up in the hailstorm of bullets falling from the sky.
Pandora pulled out her sword, now large enough to accommodate her twelve-foot stature, and swung low, taking the heads off half a dozen demons in one swoop. She slashed again in the other direction, clearing a path in front of her. The demons kept coming, wailing in high-pitched tones that scraped at Katie’s ears. She winced, reloading her weapons and firing again for no other reason than to shut them the fuck up.
Pandora looked at Katie. “That sound is so fucking annoying.”
Katie nodded as one of her bullets struck a demon in the head. “You’re telling me. It’s like screaming babies.”
Pandora wrinkled her nose. “That’s fucking gross. No one likes screaming babies.”
Juntto flipped, putting his feet down as he slammed into the ground. His body created a crater in the lawn, and dirt and grass blew up all around him as he stood up, nodding at Pandora and Katie. Pandora rolled her eyes. “Talk about making a cocky entrance. For fuck’s sake!”
Juntto grinned and pulled his spear from his back, surging forward as he jammed the blade through several demons at a time. He lifted it and snarled, trying to shake the demons’ bodies off. It looked like a giant shish kabob. Finally, they burst into dust and he continued fucking up demons right and left. Ash, dust, and grass blew around the Mall, and the ground shook as the three battled the demons to the death. Their demons’ death.
Katie slashed a demon’s throat with her dagger and took flight, heading straight for Pandora. She hovered next to her head, waiting for her to finish another huge blow with her sword. Pandora breathed heavily and glanced at Katie. “This is getting interesting. Where is the backup?”
