“You sure moved fast back there,” Priscilla quipped at Ford, her expression sullen.
“Knock it off,” Beatrice whispered loudly.
Ford looked right through her. “Good night.”
He tucked me into his side possessively. But he was also in protective mode, and I kind of liked the He-Man thing even though I pretty much kicked ass.
He took my hand, and we moved together down the sidewalk toward the office to the underground parking lot. He helped me into the seat at his car, and we headed off even though I was still a little shaky.
My mind filled up with wishes. Most of them were for Ford to be free and not on a break.
“I wish things were different.”
He sighed long. “Me too. But—”
“It’s complicated,” I murmured. “I know about the accident. Is Cecile still hurt?”
“Priscilla gossips about things she doesn’t know about,” he said in a terse tone. “Cecile is rehabilitating. From what I hear, she’s doing better.”
She’s better but didn’t come back to him. But does he still want her to come back? He must. He refused to say things were over. This was going in circles, and I was tired. Why is he here?
“Why did you show up tonight?”
“Because I wanted to see you.”
Shit.
Ford pulled into the driveway and parked. “Can I come inside?”
“Why?” I asked, unbuckling my seat belt. “I’m home now. Thank you for the ride, but you should go.”
“It’s great you were able to defend yourself, but it’s still traumatic. You need to talk, and I’ll listen, so I’m sure you’re okay—”
“Don’t. Don’t say another word about caring for me,” I snapped. “You need to stop, Ford. You haven’t broken up with Cecile, and it is cruel to pretend you care when you’re still with her.”
Anger erupted inside me, and I didn’t know why. Maybe it was leftover adrenaline from defending myself at the bar or just the way Ford kept acting as if he wanted me. Or the rush of excitement inside my stomach at how much he gets me. Shouldn’t he consider Cecile’s feelings?
“Jasmine, wait a minute. Listen to me, I—”
“No. I don’t want to hear excuses or that you like me. You’re right about me, okay? I talk this big game about selfish summers and flings, but I realize that’s not me. I read a lot and work all the time. I watch Star Trek marathons, enjoy several lattes a day, and have a crazy collection of cute socks.” My raised voice filled the car.
I pushed the car door open and hurried down the flight of stairs to the apartment. Wiping my eyes, I pulled the keys out of my purse.
Ford rushed down the stairs and put his hand on the door. “Please, Jasmine, hear me out.”
I shook my head. “You’re still with her. We can be . . . friends, maybe. Just stop flirting.” And making me think we could be perfect together.
“You don’t want that, Jasmine.”
He touched my back, and I stepped forward inside the apartment. He hesitated in the doorway, but I couldn’t just shut the door on him. I held it open, and he walked inside, closing it behind him.
“What else do you want to tell me, Ford?”
Our eyes met and stayed for many heartbeats. I found it hard to take my next breath. My pulse raced, and the skin on my face was hot. I was always the most prepared person in the room in college, but something about Ford made me feel erratic.
His tone was low and intimate. “I don’t feel the same way about Cecile anymore. My feelings have changed. Even before she left, I felt alone. I don’t want to get back together with her…I won’t. I broke things off between us. Hell, I can’t stop thinking about you, Jasmine. Just tell me what you want.”
“I want you to leave,” I said. “You’ve changed your mind, but only just. It’s too early to say you’re done with her.”
The skin bunched around his eyes. “I didn’t expect my feelings to change, but they have, and I can’t ignore it,” Ford said and visibly swallowed. “I meant what I said. Cecile and I are over. It’s been over for three months, but I just couldn’t accept it. I didn’t mean to upset you, but I can’t stay away from you. I can’t stop thinking about you. I’ll leave. I don’t ever want to hurt you, Jasmine. I’ll do anything to keep you from pain.” His voice faded.
He bent his head, and his shoulders sagged in defeat.
My hand clutched my churning stomach. Moments passed, and I hadn’t moved. What should I do?
I believed Ford. Since we met, he’d treated me like I was special. Something I never experienced before. He even stood up to his boss for me, watched over me on my run, and came to my rescue at the bar. He was attentive, caring, and considerate. Still, things were complicated with his ex, but he wanted to move on. The only question I had now was could I let him go because his timing wasn’t enough to ease my conscience?
I dropped my hand. I turned toward him, and I rested my back on the wall next to the door.
“I don’t want to say no to you, Ford—”
“Then don’t.” He reached for me, and I went into his arms. Ford’s lips went to mine. His mouth moved softly, coaxing my lips open for his tongue. I shuddered against him as every nerve ending in my body came alive with each sensual glide of his tongue. I moaned into his kiss. My breasts swelled, and my nipples grew hard. Yes, please. I want you, Ford.
He pressed his body against mine and moved his chest against my nipples, stimulating them. We broke apart to come up for air, and Ford leaned down and kissed behind my ear and whispered, “You have no idea how much I want you.”
He kissed down to my neck and sucked. Closing my eyes, I enjoyed the friction of the stubble on his jaw and his manly aftershave. The smooth, soft caresses of his tongue and lips burned me up. I grew hot all over and felt a heaviness between my thighs. My clit ached and throbbed. I squirmed, my legs rubbing against his strong thigh in a plea.
He pushed his right leg between my thighs, and I pressed and writhed against it. But that wasn’t enough. I needed to feel him touch me.
“Please touch me,” I begged.
His hand moved beneath my skirt and my lace underwear, and I moaned as his fingers caressed my bare skin.
“So soft.” He rubbed two fingers up and down my slit and groaned. “You’re so wet. Is this how much you want me too?”
I moaned and shivered under his touch as he stroked me.
My ears filled with the sound of my arousal as I panted. Oh God, Ford.
“I need to know how much you can take, how gentle I need to be with you. Let me find out, Jasmine.” He slipped one of his fingers inside me and moaned. “So tight. Fuck.”
His breath was as hard as mine when he worked another finger in.
“Oh, Ford, don’t stop,” I panted, my body vibrating as I struggled not to lose control every time his fingers slid in and out. Tension built deep in my core, and I rocked forward, my hands clutching hard to his arms.
“Damn, I can feel that. I can feel you coming,” he groaned. He sank his fingers deeper and faster inside me, his thumb rubbing and pressing against my clit.
He sucked on my neck, and I came apart. My spine bowed, and I cried out, and he held on to me as my thighs shook and my back stiffened. My head spun, and my eyes burned, so I closed them. Ford kept me close, cradling me in his arms until I calmed.
“Oh, Jasmine. That was beautiful. You’re so sexy.”
He dipped a finger inside me again and brought it to his mouth and sucked. “And you’re as sweet as I imagined.” He kissed my lips. “Damn, I think I came.”
“You didn’t.” I laughed, and even to my ears, I sounded giddy.
He half carried me over to the bedroom and sat down next to me on the bed. “I think that’s enough for tonight.”
“What? No! I mean . . . we can do more. I’m more relaxed now. In fact . . .”
I reached over and placed my hand between his legs and rubbed the front of his trousers. He was hard as stone.
<
br /> He groaned, and I placed my hand on his belt.
“I can feel you want me too. I’ll do what you like. Show me how to please you.”
He lifted my hand and pressed his lips into my palm. “You’re killing me, Jasmine. But not tonight, beautiful.”
My brows lowered. “Why not?”
“So much for selfish summers. I think you need time to process.”
He kissed my forehead and lay down next to me, and lifted his arm. I moved until my head rested on his chest. He closed his arms around me, and I closed my eyes and sank into the strength and comfort of his arms.
“What are you doing tomorrow?” he murmured against my hair.
“I have this social policy conference. My ex, Randall, will be there, probably with Angelique. I don’t want to go, but he offered to introduce me to Werner. I can’t turn down network contacts. He’s presenting a paper I worked on for him, and I wanted to see what people think. Soraya offered, but I know she doesn’t want to go. The only person I know here beside you is Priscilla . . .”
“Witless Priscilla,” he mocked. “I invited her to dinner as a part of the get to know your co-worker hospitality shit. Huge mistake. She substituted for my assistant Jennifer for a week and went through my personal things. I could have had her fired. But I’ll go with you tomorrow.”
I can’t believe he’d do that for me. And people called him cold.
“It may be boring with all the extra references Randall and Werner like to throw out to outdo each other.”
“I can hold my own.”
He let me go gently, and I instantly felt empty.
“There is something else I want from you.”
“Yes?” I asked.
He could ask me anything right now, and I doubted I’d refuse him.
“Can I take a photo of you?”
I frowned and touched my hair. I must look feral. “I don’t know.”
“You’re stunning after you come. As a photographer, I must capture it, and I want to keep it to remind me of the first time you came for me.”
I felt less inhibited right now and realized Ford as an artist would always think about his art. And I liked how much he wanted to keep an experience in his memory because he cherished it. “Okay.”
He took out his phone and took a few photos of my face, and strangely, it felt okay. I felt sexy, although that could be from the look in his eyes with each photo he took. He looked . . . enraptured. By me.
When he was finished, he thanked me, kissed my forehead, and then we walked to the door. He was so . . . quiet.
“Ford.” I touched his arm and dipped my head. “Thank you for tonight, the way you came to my rescue at the bar.” I trembled.
I didn’t like to show weakness, but the guy tried to trap me in the back of a crowded bar. I was fortunate I hadn’t been hurt physically, but the situation did frighten me.
Ford placed his arms around me and held me.
“Don’t you have to go?” I asked against his shirt.
“Not until you’re fine,” he said. He held me close and rubbed my back. I relaxed in his arms. Just that extra time was what I needed to feel understood and less alone in my feelings.
“Thank you, Ford.”
“Anytime, Jasmine.” He kissed my cheek.
I watched him walk back up the stairs.
Then I went to the bedroom, fell back, and kicked my feet in the air. What just happened!
Buzz.
I got back up and took my phone from my purse.
Ford: I forgot to show you.
He sent me one of the photos he took. My hair appeared wild, lips swollen, but I paused at my eyes. There was a wonderment I’d never seen before. Desire. Longing. Most of all, I looked happy, something I hadn’t been in a long time.
I squealed and picked up my phone and typed out a message to Tam. But then I erased it, my face stinging. Ford wanted to move on and had ended things with his ex. Would Tam still disapprove? I didn’t want to find out, and my heart hurt. The warning signs were going off. What we were doing together may be a passing fling for both of us. Tam loves and worries about me, just like I’d be if it were her.
If this were happening to her, I’d tell her to run for the hills. So, why wasn’t I?
FORD
Click
“What happened with Alpaca Socks?” Blair joked. She limped out of the pool on the roof of my place. I tensed, wanting to help her, but she wouldn’t allow it. Her fitness trainer had just finished their routine.
“Nothing,” I told her.
“Oh, come on,” she said. “Don’t grump.”
I poured her a cup of kale and apple juice. “I saw her last night.”
Blair toweled off. “Do tell.”
“I have nothing to say.”
“Stop making me drag it out of you,” she complained. “Just give me something to avoid thinking too hard about how frightened people looked at me in a bathing suit.”
Blair tried to make it a joke, but the experience had crushed her self-esteem. The stares and whispers at the gym pool had caused her to panic. I drove over and brought her and her trainer over here to use my pool. And now she wanted me to let her steer the conversation so she could forget and relax. There were no secrets between Blair and me. But I didn’t know what to tell her. I never planned to go out last night or to do anything else with Jasmine. I even tried to stay away last week to give us both space after the run, but she stayed on my mind.
I was on my way home when I heard Jasmine was going with the group to Black Bull. I never went out for drinks with the after-work crowd. Not only because I work late but I also don’t enjoy bars. I’d spent years begging my mom to leave them when I was younger. But I agreed to go with a few department heads from work and to make sure Jasmine was safe.
I watched that asshole try to block her path and left my seat to check on her. Then I saw him grab her arm, and my blood went hot. I hate that I hadn’t arrived back fast enough to protect her.
I was proud as fuck at the way Jasmine took him down, but I hated that she had to. She played down what happened and acted tough, but I knew she was scared. I couldn’t leave her like that. Still, I needed advice, so I told Blair what happened.
“She got attacked in a bar with her friends there? That’s horrible,” Blair said. She touched the scarred side of her face.
“Sorry.” I cursed myself for not considering the story might trigger her.
“I’m fine, don’t worry. I’m glad you were there and stayed there with her. But I suspect more happened.”
“It did, but . . . it was sweet.”
Blair laughed. “How sweet it is. So, no details, but you were a gentleman?”
“I surprised myself, but seriously. Jasmine was sweet.”
“You’ve already said,” Blair said and shook her head. “Fine, keep your secrets.”
I didn’t feel right gossiping about Jasmine. She was so different from all the other women I’d been with. She had no sexy come-ons or games. She put her trust in me and leaned on me for support and encouragement. Hell, she asked me to show her how to please me. Fuck. I jerked off twice in the shower to just that. I knew what I did with her was right last night. She was better than a hookup in a basement apartment. I’d take my time and show her just what her body could do and take. Once she was ready.
“I see . . . you’re doing that thing you do again.”
I didn’t answer and took a sip of my drink.
“You want to make her yours, but Jasmine’s rebounding. She’s only looking to have a fling for the summer.”
That’s not true. Not the way she clung to me. ”You’ve changed, Blair. Now you’re against moving on.”
“No, I haven’t. I’m all for moving on from Cecile and having sex, but you’re cultivating feelings and being purposely obtuse about what you know to be true.”
“And what is that?”
“Jasmine’s situation isn’t long-term. She has goals and dreams outside of your lif
e. She’s in college, probably graduating with a plan to do something in Boston, and only visiting. She’s not going to choose you, even if you change your world for her. Cecile showed you what that felt like, and I don’t think you want to go there again.”
Blair touched my hand.
I looked down. I hadn’t noticed the tremor.
“I’m saying this all out of love. I love you, and I want the best for you. You deserve someone who will love and appreciate you. I like you with Jasmine as long as you keep things casual. I don’t want you to get hurt.”
I swallowed. “Enough, Blair. I hear you loud and clear.”
“Ford, this isn’t anything you wouldn’t have said to me. We keep things real for each other.”
Blair and I always agreed to tell each other the full and honest truth. Her friendship was something I’d been able to count on for over a decade. No one came close to ruining our friendship other than Cecile. I lost my head and objectivity when Cecile threw tantrums and threatened to leave or demand more promotion of her work. Never again.
The building’s visitor notification rang, and I exhaled long.
“Martin,” I told Blair after I checked my phone.
“That’s my cue to leave,” she said.
“Nonsense,” I told her.
She smiled. “I know you want me to go. You may hate me today, but I love you.”
I kissed her cheek. “I love you, and you know that.”
My phone went off again. This time it was Graham. He tried not to call me on the weekend. And lately, every time he did, something was wrong. “Yes?”
“Sorry to give you another call like this. We have a situation at the Connecticut office again. The new software rollout is still failing, and we’re due to go to market soon. Margot needs to stay on track for her retirement. Either you or Nick needs to go to our office there.”
“When?” I asked.
“Yesterday,” he said. “By the way, Soraya and I were invited to your dad’s birthday party at Aldric’s.”
Aldric throwing a party for our dad, who never attended any of his own, was proof that irony hadn’t died. I wouldn’t be surprised if Dad invited Blair to show off the facial reconstruction work he’d done on her to his friends. But Graham now? Our family wasn’t close, so why now and to what end? To get me to come? Not going to happen.
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