by Jenny Lynn
“I miss dad so much,” I whispered. I noticed Beth had tears in her eyes too.
My mother took a deep breath and composed herself.
“Well tomorrow, at your concert, we’ll all be thinking of him. And I’m sure a part of him will be there, listening.”
I smiled. I was glad they were here, that they had come up for the weekend to go to my concert. I paid for my mom’s flight with part of my advance despite her protests, Beth covered their hotel room. They were my family, they were supporting me, and with my first show since being signed to a label tomorrow I felt a bit calmer because of them.
Scott had secured a smaller, more intimate venue. He wanted a packed house and they had been busy promoting me to music writers and sending out early copies of my album. I did everything they told me to do, trying to bury my emotions and not let anyone down. I did a few interviews, and when the topic of my breakup with Archer came up I delivered the message my PR team had armed me with.
“This was nothing but a rumor started by a scorned ex. I cared for Archer, I still care for him, but ultimately I respect his decision.”
If I said it often enough, maybe eventually it would be true.
“So what time should we meet you tomorrow for the show?” Beth asked.
“I’ll be busy with sound check and set up leading up to doors opening at eight but I have a booth reserved for you guys and Nancy with some of the people from the label. After the show we can go back to your hotel, open a bottle of champagne and celebrate.”
“Are you excited?” Beth asked.
“I am, but nervous too. There’s a lot of pressure, and I haven’t exactly had a clear mind lately. But I’m trying to be strong.”
“You are strong,” my mom assured me. “I know you’re hurting, but you’ll be amazing. I can’t wait to be there for you tomorrow and see you sing.”
“Thank you both,” I felt my heart swell with love for them. I was still hurting, I probably would be for a long time. But with the support of my friends and family, with finding relief when I played my music, maybe I would make it out the other side. Damaged, but not broken.
Chapter Twenty Three
Archer
After I finally hit the brakes on my drinking binge I had the mother of all hangovers. I felt like I had been hit by a truck, then ran over a few times. I swallowed a handfull of Asprin and drank about a gallon of water. After a long, cold shower I changed into shorts and tried to sweat the liquor out of my body by working out. It was brutal, but the aches and nausea coursing through my body were the price I had to pay for trying to kill my emotions with alcohol. It didn’t work anyways. I ran at full speed on the treadmill, but I still missed her. I still missed Corinne.
I lifted weights and did crunches until my muscles were aching in protest, then I headed back to the shower later that afternoon. I got dressed, then sat on the couch with my guitar and notebook. I had a collection of half-written songs, melodies in my mind that refused to leave. She had been my muse, but now what was I supposed to do with everything I had created? I grabbed the book, determined to rip the pages, but I couldn’t bring myself to do it.
Blake had been calling me for days, probably to gloat, but I let him go to voicemail each time. I had nothing to say to him, but he was a determined man. When his name lit up my phone again, I groaned then answered.
“What do you want?” I snapped.
“To check in on you,” he said. “I am your father, despite how you act.”
I let a laugh past my lips. “You sure as shit don’t act like it.”
“I look out for you Archer, just like I always have. You can’t stay mad at me for this. What would you have had me do, not tell you and let that girl use you? No. Instead I told you as soon as I found out, even though it caused an embarrassing scene.”
“I should never have gone to your stupid function,” I said.
“That wouldn’t have changed anything. Archer, listen to me. Be glad you found out before things went any further with that girl. Now maybe you’ll listen to common sense. Women are all the same, they are opportunists just looking for a meal ticket. She was no different, and now you know.”
Suddenly, it hit me. For the first time in my life, I realized the choice I had in front of me as clearly as if it had been written on the wall in neon letters. I had a choice, and if I didn’t choose right, I was going to end up just like my father.
“She hurt me,” I admitted. “But I don’t regret it. It was worth it to feel the way she made me feel.”
“She made a fool out of you,” Blake shot back.
“And I don’t mind looking foolish, because it means I opened myself up. It means I’m capable of caring for someone. It means I’m not like you.”
“Archer, you’re deluded. You’re soft, like your mother was.”
“That’s the best compliment you could have given me. Goodbye dad.”
I hung up the phone before he could say another word, then sat back in my chair and picked up my guitar. I found peace in my music, playing for hours until the sun was low in the sky. When my intercom buzzed I pressed it.
“Archer it’s Billy. Let me up man.”
I pushed the button and waited by the doors for him. When he walked towards me I smiled, noticing the bag in his hand.
“Burgers from Big John’s, your favorite spot,” Billy told me tossing the bag to me.
“I’m starving,” I said as I pulled one out and unwrapped it.
“Glad to see your appetite is back,” he said as I sank my teeth into the juicy meat. I devoured the burger then unwrapped the second as if I had never had a meal my entire life.
“Want a beer?” I asked Billy. The expression he gave me made me laugh. “Okay, okay, no beer. How about a soda?”
“Sure man.”
I grabbed us a couple cans of Coke then sat on the couch.
“How are you feeling?” Billy asked.
“Better,” I shrugged. “Just taking it day by day.”
“I was really worried about you. I’ve never seen you this way Archer, in all the years we’ve been friends.”
“I know,” I sighed. “I really appreciate you looking out for me. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”
“I have to ask, have you talked to her?”
I stiffened, then shook my head.
“You asked me before about being with one person. About relationships. There was something else I should have told you Archer. And it’s that sometimes things get hard. Sometimes people screw up. But if you found something worth fighting for, you don’t just walk away from that. You don’t give up. That’s what makes a relationship real.”
I ran my hand over my face.
“You don’t understand Billy. The way I talked to her when I called her, hurting her by making her think I was with someone else. Even if I wanted to talk to her, I doubt she wants to talk to me now. I was a real asshole.”
“You were an asshole,” Billy agreed. “But you’re also wrong.”
He reached into his jacket, pulled out an envelope and held it out to me.
“This was at the front desk for you. Security said they were waiting to see you to give it to you, but you haven’t come down in days.”
I took it from him, my name written across the front in familiar handwriting. Her handwriting. I gripped it tighter in my hands, then looked at Billy.
“I know she hurt you Archer. But I also know that I’ve never seen you half as happy as you’ve been since you met her. That kind of connection doesn’t happen every day.”
He stood up and gripped my shoulder, looking me in the eye.
“Talk to her,” he added, then walked to the doors. He paused and looked back at me.
“By the way, I ran into that Tyler guy at a club. I wasn’t going to tell you. He was running his mouth off, nobody seems to be buying it. He comes across like a real lying piece of shit. I got him kicked out of the club. I also may have gotten word around to a few venues not to book him, cal
ling in a few favors.”
I grinned at Billy, surprised he had done that. He wasn’t the vengeful type, he was always such a straight shooter.
“Whatever you choose to do, I’ve got your back man,” Billy told me, then he left. I was alone with the envelope, not sure what it would say.
My hands were almost shaking as I tore it open then pulled the pages free. I gripped them tight, reading every word. She was so sincere, so honest and open, it was just like Corinne. She ended her letter by saying that she was falling in love with me, and that she would always be sorry for hurting me. I froze, the stone around my heart cracking at the edges as I re-read the words. She was falling in love with me. And I couldn’t run from this, from her, anymore. I needed to see her, I needed to face this once and for all.
Chapter Twenty Four
Corinne
“So what would you say is your biggest influence?” The man stared at me, waiting for an answer, in the green room backstage. It was my fifth and final interview, the PR team had been busy promoting me and my debut album.
“I’d have to say my father, Jake Williams. He was a musician, he died when I was young but I grew up hearing him play and it made me want to be like him.
“Your album has received early praise from critics, what do you hope fans get from your songs?”
“I hope they like it. I hope I can make people feel the energy and excitement I did when I wrote those songs, and that they want to hear more from me in the future because I’m not done writing music. There’s more to come.”
“Speaking of the future, you had a pretty high profile relationship then break up with Archer Evans. Can we expect this to make its way onto your next album?”
My heart gave a familiar ache in my chest, I straightened my back and tried to keep my voice even and calm.
“I don’t know yet. He influenced me, so maybe.”
“Thanks Corinne, those are all the questions I had for you.” The man lowered the recording device. “Have a good show tonight.”
Scott escorted the reporter out the room; my mom, sister and Nancy were waiting on the other side of the door. They rushed inside with huge smiles.
“We wanted to wish you luck,” my mom said.
“Check this out,” said Nancy as she unzipped her sweatshirt. She was wearing a white t-shirt with ‘Corinne #1 fan’ written in glitter across the chest. I burst out laughing as she struck a pose. “I brought extras for your mom and sister but they won’t wear them for some reason.”
“You’re too much Nancy,” I said shaking my head.
“We won’t keep you long,” Beth hugged me. “Just wanted to say hi and we’ll see you after the show.”
“Thanks guys,” I leaned forward and pulled them all into a hug. I felt so surrounded by love and support. I knew I could do this. They left for their seats and Scott checked his phone, mentally going through a checklist on his fingers.
“Soundcheck is all done, your interviews are wrapped, I got your album to national radio stations across the country. It’s official Corinne. You’re launched.”
I touched his arm. “You made my dream come true Scott. Thank you, for discovering me. For everything.”
“You’re something special kiddo,” he told me with a smile. “Good luck tonight.”
There was a knock on the door, Scott left to see who it was. I heard hushed voices, then Scott telling someone they needed to go.
“Who is it?” I asked, walking towards the door.
Scott sighed then stepped aside. Archer was standing just outside.
“Can we talk?” Archer asked.
“This isn’t the best timing,” Scott interrupted. “She’s on stage in ten, and I don’t want her upset. We have a lot invested in this.”
“Please,” Archer added, his eyes pleading.
“It’s okay Scott,” I said. The room cleared out, then it was just Archer and I standing there facing each other. The silence was heavy between us, weighed down by all the things we weren’t saying. By all the things we had done to each other. Archer lifted his hand, showing me my letter.
“Did you mean this?” he asked.
“Every word,” I told him, my hands trembling. I felt so vulnerable in this moment, so afraid that he was going to walk out that door and I would never see him again. “I’m so sorry that I hurt you. I never meant to.”
“I believe you,” he said. “I know I didn’t exactly make a good impression in the beginning, treating you like you were a prize to be won instead of a human being. Instead of a woman who was worth everything to me. Whatever you said to Tyler back then doesn’t matter, and I should have let you explain instead of acting how I did.”
My eyes watered and I wiped at them. “I never should have doubted you,” I told him.
He stepped forward and wiped a tear from my cheek.
“I doubted myself,” he said with a sigh. “I thought the only way to not be like my father was to never be in a relationship, never let anyone get close. But I was lying to myself. That’s not what I want.”
I swallowed a lump in my throat. “What do you want?”
He held my face in his hands, looking me in the eyes.
“I want you,” he said. “Just you. I love you Corinne.”
I was stunned, lightheaded that he had said those words to me. That he felt that way about me. Archer loved me, and I couldn’t hide from the fact that I was desperately in love with him too. We stood, facing each other, the room suddenly quiet and still.
“I love you too Archer.”
Archer dipped his head and pressed his lips against mine. Relief flooded through my body and I let the tears fall, tasting the salt on our lips. I held onto him, afraid I would wake up from this dream if I dared let go. Archer held me against his chest, moving his mouth over mine, until reluctantly he pulled back and looked at me. When I stared into his eyes there was a warmth and softness there.
“I want you to know Corinne there was no one else. That girl on the phone… I’m sorry. I was an asshole, I was hurt. Nothing happened.”
I leaned against him, holding onto him as he wrapped me in his arms. When there was a knock at the door I snapped my head up as Scott came in.
“Time to hit the stage Corinne,” he told me.
I looked at Archer and he smiled, holding my hand and walking with me. I took in a shaky breath and picked up my guitar, peering out at the empty stage. This was it.
“You’re going to be amazing,” Archer whispered in my ear. “I’ll be right here watching.”
He kissed me again, then I clutched my father’s guitar and walked into the center of the stage in front of the microphone. The lights were bright, but I could see the silhouettes of bodies and faces looking back at me expectantly. This was it. It was now or never.
This is for you dad, I thought to myself. Then I started to play.
I had performed before. Small coffee shops, bookstores, auditoriums. Small venues. This was different. These people came to see something special, and for the first time in my life I allowed myself to accept that I was special. That I had talent, and all those nights of writing music and waiting tables led me to this moment. I was finally where I wanted to be, but I would never forget where I came from. I looked around the crowd and my eyes landed on the seats where Nancy and my family sat. I smiled as I sang to the crowd, to the people who loved and supported me. Every time I glanced to the side I saw Archer standing there, watching me with a smile on his face.
With every song, with every word and stroke of my fingers against the guitar I bared a bit of my soul to the audience. This was me, all of me, and when they clapped enthusiastically between songs it gave me the strength and courage to go on. To sing louder, to play harder. It was by far the best performance of my life, and I gave it everything in me. When I sang the last notes of my last song, then silence, the thunderous applause that followed made me squeeze my hands tight to stop myself from tearing up. I had never been so moved in my entire life. Finally, it had
happened for me. My dream had come true, and not just that, I had met someone who brought something beautiful and courageous out in me.
I waved and walked off stage and into Archer’s arms. He kissed my forehead and held me. “You were incredible,” he said. People were still clapping and shouting for an encore. “You should get back out there,” he told me, stepping back. Suddenly I had an idea. I looked up at him and held his hand.
“Come out with me. Sing with me.”
“This is your night Corinne,” he said, shaking his head. “I don’t want to steal your thunder.”
“You won’t be. I want this.”
He hesitated, then smiled.
“Okay, what do you want to sing?”
I froze. I didn’t know and I started thinking of possible songs in my mind when he grinned at me.
“I have an idea,” Archer said. Then he leaned over and whispered a song in my ear.
I looked at him, surprised.
“Are you sure?” I asked.
“It’s perfect,” he said. He held out his hand then I handed him my guitar. We walked out together, the audience started to murmur in shock. I stood by Archer’s side as he started to play guitar. We exchanged a glance, and then together we sang Something Stupid by Nancy and Frank Sinatra. Our voices twisted and wove together as we looked at each other, mixing in harmony. Phones were pointed in our direction and people were cheering as we continued our duet, then we made it to the final refrain repeating again and again the words ‘I love you’.
Archer pulled me towards him as the song ended and kissed me while the crowd broke out into applause and whistles. I held onto him, giving in to his extremely public display of affection, then we waved and walked off stage together. My body was humming with excitement and adrenaline, with a successful show and with the ultimate triumph - Archer Evans loved me, and I loved him too.
Chapter Twenty Five
Archer
We weren’t alone in the green room for long before the door burst open and a crowd came in. Corinne’s hand was in my hand and she didn’t let go as Scott and the PR team congratulated her for a great show.
