by Ramona Gray
“Maybe I don’t want to have sex with you tonight.”
I blinked at his petulant tone. “Uh, okay. Well, you don’t have to have sex with me. I just thought -”
“Yeah, I know what you thought. Look, don’t bother texting me when you’re done tonight. I don’t need or want sex from you anymore.”
Hurt flooded through me and I swallowed down the painful lump that was in my throat. “I – Asher, I still want to have sex with you.”
Oh my God. Could I sound any more pathetic?
“Yeah, well, we don’t always get what we want, Sunshine,” Asher said. “I’ll pretend to be your boyfriend until your family leaves, but the fucking is over. Clear?”
“Perfectly,” I whispered.
“What time does the little song and dance start tomorrow?”
Lydia was walking toward us, and I lowered my voice. “The parade starts at ten downtown. Asher, let me come by after dinner tonight. We can talk about what’s wrong and -”
“I’ll see you at ten tomorrow.” He yanked open the truck door, climbed in and slammed it shut just as Lydia joined me. He drove off without looking at either of us and I blinked back the tears as Lydia gave me an innocent look.
“Is something wrong, Luna?”
“No,” I said.
“It looks like you and Asher were fighting.”
“We’re not. But he can’t make it to dinner tonight.”
“What a shame,” she said. “Maybe I should talk to him.”
“Stay away from him,” I snapped. “He’s my boyfriend, Lydia.”
“Yes, so you keep saying.” She flashed her teeth at me in an approximation of a smile. “Mommy and Daddy are driving back to the hotel with me. Meet us there.”
She walked away, and I tried to ignore the churning in my stomach as I walked to my car. Asher didn’t want me anymore. I knew there was a time limit to our fake relationship, so why was I feeling so sick over it? I guess because I believed I had until Sunday, and for it to just suddenly end, had me reeling. I thought we were good in bed together but now the doubt was creeping in. I climbed into my car and swiped away the hot tears trickling down my cheeks. Asher was finished with me and while I supposed I should have been grateful that he was at least willing to finish off our little charade tomorrow, I was stupidly hurt over not getting to sleep with him ever again.
Don’t be. Obviously he didn’t enjoy it that much. It’s better that he kicked you out of his bed now, rather than just keep pretending that he liked fucking you.
I winced and started my car. My inner voice had a point, but apparently there was a large part of me pathetic enough to wish Asher would have kept lying about how much he enjoyed fucking me. At least for another day or two.
I blew my nose, wiped my face again, and drove out of the parking lot and toward the hotel. My nights of fucking Asher were over. I needed to accept it, be happy that I had least gotten a taste of what it was like to be with him and move on.
Chapter Ten
Asher
I paced back and forth in my bedroom. It was only ten, but I wanted to go to bed. Needed to go to bed to try and stop the insistent clamoring and yowling that was currently my brain. Only I couldn’t.
I stared at my unmade bed.
It smelled like her.
I couldn’t fucking go near my own bed because it smelled like Luna.
So wash the sheets, idiot.
I couldn’t do that either. Because then it wouldn’t smell like Luna, and I would lose the last connection I had to her.
I resumed pacing. What the hell was wrong with me? I was hurt by Luna’s acceptance that what we had wasn’t real, and I shouldn’t have been. It’s what I told her I wanted, what I told her needed to happen, so why was it bothering me that she was so readily agreeing to it? That she didn’t even want me near her family.
Luna defending her family pissed me off. How could she think I was being a dick when in reality, her family were terrible to her? Why couldn’t she see that? Why did she defend them when they treated her like that?
They didn’t love her. They couldn’t love her the way I did. I would die before…
I stopped pacing and stared at the wall. I loved Luna. Part of me had known all along that I loved her, but this was the first time I actually admitted it to myself.
Not that it mattered. I might love her, but I’d never let myself be with her. I couldn’t. I would always wonder if she truly trusted me and that wasn’t fair to either of us.
I had fucked everything up and now I had to be with her tomorrow knowing that I would never get to touch her again, never get to hear her sweet voice moaning my name or feel the tight squeeze of her pussy as she came on my dick.
What the fuck was I thinking?
My cell phone rang, and I yanked it from my pocket. It was an unknown number, but I answered it anyway. Maybe Luna was in trouble again. Her car was a piece of shit. Maybe she was stuck somewhere and her cell phone was dead and she was calling me from a payphone or something.
A payphone? What is this - 1997?
“Hello?”
“Asher, it’s Lydia.”
“What do you want?” I snapped.
“Luna’s here at the hotel with me and she’s drunk and upset about your fight. She wants you to come pick her up. I told her she should just spend the night here, but she’s insisting I call you.”
“I’ll be right there. What’s your room number?”
“It’s 512. See you soon, Ash.”
I hit the end button on my phone and shoved it into my pocket. I was way happier than I should have been that Luna was asking for me. I would bring her back here for the night. I couldn’t fuck her, I wouldn’t take advantage of my Luna when she was drunk, but I didn’t even care. Just the thought of having her in my bed with me, whether we fucked or not, was soothing. I grabbed my jacket and my keys and locked the front door before jogging to my truck.
* * *
Twenty minutes later, I was knocking on Lydia’s door. She opened it almost immediately and I made a grunt of surprise. She was wearing a silk nightgown that barely covered her ass and clung to her tits. Her nipples were poking against the silk and I looked away when she placed one hand on her hip and arched her back a little.
“Hello, Asher.” Her voice was breathy and low. Most men would have got an erection. I just got annoyed.
“Where is she?” I pushed past her. “Luna? Where are you?”
“Keep your voice down!” She shut the door and pointed to the far wall where a second door was. “My parents are in the room right next to us.”
I scanned the room. Lydia had a suite with a small living room and even tinier kitchen. Just past the kitchen, I could see the door that led to her bedroom. “Is Luna in there?”
Before I could walk to the bedroom, Lydia grabbed my arm. “She’s just in the bathroom. She’s been vomiting and needs a few minutes to freshen up. Can I get you a drink?”
She crossed the room to where an open bottle of wine was chilling in a bucket of ice. She poured some into a glass and tried to hand it to me. I shook my head. “I don’t want any of that shit.”
Her eyes narrowed before she laughed and drank the entire glass in three large swallows. “More for me then.” She walked toward me, and I frowned when she staggered a little.
“Are you drunk too?”
She smiled. “I might be feeling a little tipsy. But unlike my sister, I can hold my liquor.”
She stepped closer and I took a step back. She pouted at me. Her lips were bigger than I remembered, and they were shiny with some slimy looking goop. “You know, if I didn’t know better, I’d think you didn’t want me touching you.”
“I don’t. I’m dating your sister, remember?”
She shrugged and slid one hand down over her chest. I refused to follow her motion, staring at her face instead. “I remember. Tell me something, Asher. Why are you and Luna dating? You have nothing in common with her.”
“I’m not
discussing my relationship with your sister with you,” I said.
She pouted again. “You and I could be so good together. You know that, don’t you?”
“I wasn’t interested in you when we were kids and I sure as shit ain’t interested in you now,” I said.
Anger flashed across her face before it was replaced with a wide-eyed innocence that made me want to join Luna in the bathroom in puking. I hated that fake shit that some women did, and Lydia was the fucking queen of fake.
“I think you’d change your mind if you had a taste of what I can do to you,” she purred at me.
“No, I fucking wouldn’t. I don’t want -”
I couldn’t believe it when Lydia threw herself at me. I caught her by instinct, jerking in surprise when she pressed her lips against mine. I froze in shock, unable to believe that Lydia would be such a bitch to her own sister. As Lydia tried to push her tongue into my mouth, the connecting door to her parents’ room opened and I heard Luna’s sweet, familiar voice.
“Lydia, I forgot my jacket. I think it’s…”
I shoved Lydia away from me so hard that she squealed and landed on her ass on the carpet. Luna was standing in the room, her freckles standing out in stark relief against the too pale landscape of her face.
“What are you doing here?” She whispered as Lydia stood gracefully.
“Luna, I wasn’t -”
“What’s it look like?” Lydia glided toward her sister, smiling triumphantly. “You didn’t really think that Asher Stokes could resist me, did you?”
“Shut up!” I snapped. “Luna, it’s not -”
“You’re nothing but a poor substitute for what Asher really wants – me,” Lydia said.
Luna’s face twisted, and she turned and bolted back into her parents’ room.
“Luna! Wait!”
“Asher, leave her. She doesn’t matter. What matters is you and me and how you feel about me. We can be together now.” Lydia grabbed my arm and held tight.
I yanked my arm out of her grip and glared at her. “You fucking touch me again, you’ll be sorry.”
Her face paled and she licked her shiny lips. “You-you don’t mean that.”
“Touch me and see what happens.”
She stuck her hands behind her back, swaying lightly. The smell of wine surrounded her and I shook my head in disgust. “You’re a real fucking piece of work, you know that? You’re not worth half of Luna. If you ever fucking try anything like this again, I’ll make sure you never see or speak to Luna again.”
“You can’t do that. She-she’s my sister.”
“She’s my woman and I won’t let you keep hurting her.”
Her parents were standing in the doorway now, her mother staring wide-eyed at me and her father holding a glass of whiskey and swallowing compulsively. I gave them both a look at contempt. “That goes for the both of you as well. Start treating Luna with the respect she deserves, or I’ll take her away from you and you’ll never talk to her again.”
I took a step closer, and her mother made a squeak of fear. “Luna’s not in here. She – she left.”
I ignored her mother and stared at her pathetic father. “Luna belongs to me now and I’m gonna make her happy and keep her safe. If that means keeping you the fuck away from her, I’ll do it. Do you believe me?”
“Yes,” her father said.
“Good. Stop playing fucking favourites with your kids, you asshole.”
I gave Lydia a brief look of loathing. “Even if I didn’t love your sister, I wouldn’t fucking touch you if you paid me.”
I turned and stalked out of the room. The minute the door closed behind me, I clenched my hands into fists and had to stop myself from punching the wall. I was both pissed off and sick to my stomach. I’d put on a good fucking show in there, but the truth was, I was almost certain that I had lost Luna forever.
She thought I was about to fuck her sister and as much as I loved Luna, I couldn’t be like my old man. I couldn’t beg and plead for forgiveness for something I hadn’t done. She wouldn’t believe me that I wasn’t about to cheat on her.
She might. You have to at least try.
I pushed open the exit door and jogged down the stairs, but by the time I got to the parking lot, there was no sign of Luna. I started my truck and drove to her place. There was no answer when I knocked on her door and she didn’t reply to my text. I returned to my truck and sat behind the wheel, staring blankly into the dark. After half an hour, when Luna still wasn’t home, I tried her cell phone again. Still no answer and I banged my fists against the steering wheel.
Don’t give up, you asshole. You have to at least explain what happened. If she doesn’t believe you, then you can walk away like the idiot you are instead of swallowing your pride and begging her to believe you.
I scrubbed my hand across my face. It was pointless. Luna could be anywhere and was I really going to sit in her parking lot like a goddamn stalker and wait for her to come home? She didn’t want to see me. If she did, she would have waited for me at the hotel.
With a grunt of frustration, I drove toward home. When I let myself into the house, Isabelle was sitting in the living room watching a movie on her laptop.
“Hey, big brother.”
“Hey.”
“You look angrier than usual. What’s wrong?”
“Nothing.”
She grinned at me. “It doesn’t look like nothing.”
“I’m going to bed,” I snapped. “I’m tired and I want to be left alone.”
“Sure,” she said with a cheeky grin. Her cheerfulness was really starting to piss me off. “Oh, and don’t worry about being too loud, I’m gonna plug in my headphones to watch the rest of my movie.”
She winked at me and I gave her a look of confusion. “What the hell are you talking about?”
She just shrugged. “Nothing. Night, Ash.”
“Night, Izzy.”
She flipped me the bird before plugging in her headphones and putting them on. I stared at her for a moment longer before returning to the hallway. I kicked off my boots and walked upstairs to my bedroom. I would have a hot shower and then try Luna’s cell phone again. If she didn’t answer, I’d try again in the –
I stopped in the doorway of my room, my mouth dropping open. Luna was sitting cross-legged on my bed and she waved nervously at me. “Hi, Asher.”
I looked behind me and then at her again. Was I fucking hallucinating?
“Luna? What are you doing here?”
“Your sister let me in. She said you wouldn’t mind if I waited for you in your bedroom. Can we – I mean, do you mind if we talk for a bit?”
I closed the door to my room and leaned against it for support. “I called and texted you, but you didn’t answer.”
She made a face. “My sister started texting and calling me almost immediately. I shut my phone off.”
I strode jerkily across the room, my legs didn’t seem to want to work properly, and stood in front of the bed. “Nothing happened with your sister and me. She called me, told me you were drunk and wanted me to pick you up. When I got there, she came on to me. I told her no, but she kissed me anyway. I didn’t want that to happen. You have to believe me.”
“I do.”
“I should never have gone to her hotel room. But she said you needed me and I was worried about you. I would never cheat on you with your sister or anyone else. I swear to fucking God, Luna.”
“I know.”
“I know you have no reason to believe me, but I’m not a fucking cheater. I wouldn’t…wait, what did you say?”
She smiled her sweet smile. “I believe you and I know you wouldn’t cheat on me.”
I sank onto the bed, staring in disbelief at her. “You believe me. Just like that?”
“Why wouldn’t I?”
“I – my mother, she…”
Luna scooted a little closer. “Your mother what?”
I stared at my hands. “She always accused my father of
cheating. She went through his emails, his text messages, looking for proof. If he was late, she immediately accused him of fucking other women. If he went away for work, he was cheating on her with another woman. If he didn’t tell her exactly where he was every minute of the goddamn day, she accused him of cheating on her. She was relentless, she didn’t believe him ever and he spent most of their marriage begging and pleading for her to believe him. Constantly trying to assure her that he wouldn’t cheat and never would. She broke him down, made him look pathetic and -”
Luna’s small cool hands were suddenly cupping my face. She tugged until I was looking at her. “I’m sorry for what your mom did, but I’m not her. I know you’re a good man, Asher Stokes. I know you wouldn’t cheat on me, even if we are just in a fake relationship.”
“It’s real to me,” I rasped.
Her hands tightened on my face. “What did you say?”
“I want it to be real,” I said.
I was almost giddy with relief. Luna believed me. I didn’t have to beg or plead or prove to her that I wasn’t lying. She just fucking believed me.
She pulled her hands away and folded her arms across her torso. “But-but you don’t even want to fuck me anymore.”
“I shouldn’t have said that. I didn’t mean it.”
She chewed on her bottom lip. “Are you – are you serious, Ash?”
“Yes. I’ve wanted you for years, Luna. I didn’t want to be in a relationship because of what my dad went through. I didn’t want that, couldn’t stand the thought of going through that, so I didn’t let myself get close to anyone. But I love you and I want to be with you. You are the best fucking thing in my life, Luna Davis. You’re my woman and I don’t want to waste another minute without you.”
“Holy shit,” she said. “You love me.”
“I do.”
She studied me silently for a moment. “I love you too. But you already know that, don’t you?”
I grinned at her. “Yeah.”
She rolled her eyes. “Cocky bastard.”
She gasped when I pulled her into my lap. “You love my cockiness.”
