“Thank God…and you,” Mitch said, with a heartfelt sigh of relief. “The chopper has a stretcher to take her to Darwin.”
“Where’s my brother?”
“On the dinghy—with operatives not far behind.”
Will sighed. “I thought of this as a game,” he said quietly. “A bit of stupid dress-up fun, playing Spy versus Spy. A way to pass summer break until I started my internship. Daz was obsessed with this, so I offered to do the legwork for him, be visible for him—he’s traceable through the Feds, and I’m totally clean. I knew they wouldn’t know who I was. And, yeah, I wanted to make life uncomfortable for you, see Matt and Luke—I don’t know. I never realized how unstable Darren is—or how dangerous—until we got here.” His eyes were haunted. “I never wanted it to go this far. I thought I could stop him from hurting you, and others—but I had no control at all.” He sighed. “He told me he killed some hacker in Sydney.”
Mitch nodded; he’d tell Anson. He wanted nothing to do with running Kerin’s brother down or with the Nighthawks at all right now. “Let’s get Lissa on the chopper.”
“I should go with her, in case. I know I’m not qualified—”
“You saved her life,” Mitch replied simply, and swept his hand to the door. “Let’s get the stretcher.”
Minutes later, with tender care, inch by inch, a carefully tied Lissa was lifted onto the chopper by pulley rope.
d Will swarmed up the ropes moments after, both immediately looking to Lissa, to be sure the needle and syringe hadn’t moved in her transportation.
“Who’s this?” Anson demanded, his face immediately filled with suspicion.
“This is Will. A medical student who happened to be in Tumah-ra at the time,” he reported briefly, checking Lissa’s pulse while Will worked on her chest. “He saved Lissa’s life. We need him for the flight to Darwin.”
“He’s the rogue we couldn’t trace,” Anson growled. “I saw his picture. What the hell’s going on here, McCluskey?”
Mitch met his boss’s eyes. “He just saved Lissa’s life—and mine. He had almost no part in this, except for following us in Canberra. Darren Burstall’s the one you want—he’s a rogue Fed, and my ex’s twin brother. Will was just trying to stop him from getting in trouble. As far as anyone needs to know, Will’s just a medical student on holiday.” He caressed Lissa’s face, so pure and cold in the darkness of the chopper.
“I don’t like it,” Anson growled.
“I don’t like the fact that you’re worrying over Will while Lissa’s lying here half-dead!” he returned, low-voiced for her sake. “For God’s sake, Anson, this was personal, aimed at me, and nothing to do with your precious bloody Nighthawks—so tell Wildman to head for Darwin now!”
“One of us has to get off,” the pilot, code name Wildman, called in over the walkie-talkie. “We need two chopper pilots—”
He snatched the walkie-talkie from Anson. “There are two, Wildman—you and me,” he snapped. “And one man with medical qualifications to help Countrygirl. So either Anson goes or Linebacker, because it sure as hell won’t be me.” He met his boss’s eyes in grim challenge. “We did what you asked, and she’s almost dead. I’m a civilian from now on—and so is my fiancée, until she tells you otherwise or signs a contract. Your first duty is to get us out of here. We’re both injured.”
Anson nodded curtly. “I’ll go. Linebacker can come with me. I’ll steer the boat into harbor, Irish can take the other, and we’ll try to get the people of Ka-Nin-Put out. The rebels have started torching one side of the village. The people are heading for the beach, so it’ll make our job easier. Take these three civilians to Darwin,” Anson called to Wildman.
“Roger that, sir,” Wildman called back.
Without another word Anson and Linebacker, their newest operative, slithered down the rope to the boat. They heard Anson yelling instructions as he landed on deck.
Wildman turned the chopper in the direction of Darwin, the northernmost city in Australia. The last Mitch saw of Tumah-ra was a blazing fire in the jungle, the blasting of mortar bombs and the streaking silver fire of bullets in the night.
Somehow it felt like a classic script. Lissa felt light shoot pain into her eyes, even beneath her heavy eyelids. She stirred and moaned. Heroine comes to slowly, to the gentle touch of the man she loves holding her han
“Hey, sweet thing. About time you came back to us.”
She stirred again and lifted her lids, feeling something akin to mild shock. “Tim?”
Her ex-husband, holding her hand, grinned at her. He looked pale, strained, completely exhausted, his face stark against the plain antiseptic white of the room. “Yeah, Liss, it’s me, since I’m definitely no angel. How are you feeling now?”
She looked around at the hospital room, realizing she was sitting up, not lying down. Chest injury, then. “W-why…are you…? Where’s…kids?”
“They’re here, too. You might call this our first joint family holiday—thanks to you. We’re all in the great never-never to see you.” He caressed her hand. “Ron’s here, too. We closed the gym for a few weeks until you’re better.”
Her mind felt clogged. Her last memory was something about a plant. “Never-never?”
Tim laughed. “Yeah, you know, the Northern Territory ads— ‘You’ll never-never know if you never-never go.’ We’re all up here in Darwin—and spending all our time in the hospital.”
“Darwin,” she whispered. “Wasn’t I here the other day?”
Tim lost his smile. “Yeah, darlin’, and in Tumah-ra after that. You were shot, Liss. Mitch called me from the chopper to say a plane would bring us all here. Your parents are arriving tonight from Monte Carlo. Alice should be here tomorrow from Sydney.” He kissed her lips gently. “Thank God you’re okay, Liss. You had us all bloody scared.”
She smiled at him, feeling an overwhelming rush of love. “I guess I’m useful for something, if only emotional shocks to my family.”
The hand holding hers shook. “For a hell of a lot more than that. Don’t you know you mean the world to us all? I adore you, Lissa. I always have. I always will. The flight here was the most terrifying time of my life. Don’t do that to me again, you hear? You’re not just the mother of my daughter, you’re my best friend. I couldn’t stand to lose you.”
The tears in his eyes splashed over onto their linked hands.
A quiet realization came to her in that moment. He might have made a terrible husband, but Tim was a wonderful friend, the best she could hope to have or ask for. He always had been. And she’d lost sight of that for so many years. “I love you, too—but I’d love you more if you got me some water,” she croaked.
He tilted a glass to her lips. “Do you know that’s the first time you’ve said that to me since I left you?”
She gulped down the water, seeing the pain in his eyes and feeling a twinge of conscience. She realized how right Mitch had been about punishing Tim instead of thanking him for setting her free. Free to find real love. “Yeah, well, all good things come to those who wait,” she joked, to lighten the mood. “Where’s…everyone else?”
“If you mean Mitch, I pushed him out of here about two hours ago,” Tim replied, getting to the heart question with his usual accuracy. He knew her too well. “He hadn’t slept in two days. He’ll be back any minute, probably. What the hell have you been doing to the poor guy, Liss?”
“Is he all right?” She heard the frantic note in her voice. “He…he isn’t hurt, is he? That man—” Patchy memory assailed her—the stumbling run to the boat. She gasped, “He wanted to kill him. Mitch! Is he—”
“Apart from a broken wrist, he’s fine…physically. But he hates himself for what happened to you. If you ask me, he’s gonna walk as soon as he knows you’re okay.”
“No,” she whispered.
“Yes,” Tim retorted gently yet with grim strength. “Lissa-girl, it’s time we had a talk. I’ve put off telling you this for ten years, because I was too weak.
But you’ll hear it now because if you don’t, you’re gonna lose him. And it’ll be my fault.”
“No, Tim,” she said sadly. “Not your fault. Mine.”
“Yeah, well, that, too.” He grinned to soften his blunt words. “Baby doll, you became a woman before your time. You’ve worked at jobs you hate and sacrificed your wants for your parents and me, especially after Alice married Brad and left for Sydney, then for Jenny and the boys. You gave up your life for all of us, but when it comes to Mitch you’re acting like a kid. You won’t look at the truth.” He drew a deep breath. “Lissa, he loves you like no man has or will, even me. He worships the ground you walk on.”
“I’m his ideal woman,” she finished, in soft bitterness.
“And what the hell’s so wrong about that?” Tim demanded. “Didn’t we both idealize Mitch? Didn’t we worship him? Should he resent us for that? Did it stop us from loving the person he is?”
The absolute truth of that stunned her. She opened her mouth, but no words came out.
“I don’t get you, Liss. You’ve spent seventeen years of your life in love with him, so why are you pushing happiness away? Why are you punishing him for what he can’t help? Who taught him to love? Wasn’t it us? A pair of dumb kids who didn’t know who they were? People who are as much dreamers as he is? So why should it surprise you that he wove a few ideals and dreams around you? You can’t honestly think he’ll stop loving you if you fall off the pedestal. Liss, you fell off it years ago when you went for safety and married me, and he still loves you. You’ve been apart twelve years and he still loves you so much he’s gonna walk away because he thinks it’s what you want. What the hell else do you need? How much more real does it get for a man than that?”
“I…don’t know,” she croaked. “You’re the man. You tell me how real love gets, because I don’t have any experience at it.”
“Damn it, Liss, cut it out,” Tim suddenly snarled. “Stop torturing yourself over us! So I couldn’t make love to you. If I felt wrong touching you, it wasn’t because you’re not pretty, or that I didn’t want you. You want to know why I couldn’t touch you? It was guilt! I knew you and Mitch belonged together and I destroyed it. I broke the heartswo people I loved best in the world and didn’t have the guts to change it, because it meant accepting myself for what I was, which was too bloody scary. I took the coward’s way out and left you feeling like crap, and it kills me to see you still feeling like crap, twelve years later! But I won’t stand by and watch you push Mitch away, from fear. It wasn’t him that hurt you, it was a dumb bloke called Tim Carroll. Mitch isn’t me, and he’s not your dad, getting everything he wants at your expense. He loves you, Liss. So don’t ruin your life—and Mitch’s life—because of me.”
She flinched with Tim’s spot-on assessment of what she’d been through the past twelve years…and what she was doing now. “It’s not your fault,” she said quietly.
Tim waved it aside impatiently. “In a world that’s treated him like a bloody chocolate wrapper to use and throw away, you and I loved him for what he is inside. Do you realize how bloody hard it must have been for him to love you the way he does and not say anything? We have families, people who taught us acceptance and security, who’ll always be there for us. What did Mitch ever have but us? How could he come between us? How could he tell you he loved you? If you loved him, he lost me. If you didn’t love him he lost us both. All the love he’d ever known, gone in a second. Would you have risked it, Liss? Did you ever risk it?”
Lissa bit her lip, feeling tears of exhaustion and shame rising up. “Tim—”
“But he did, didn’t he? He told you he loves you, I know he did. With everything to lose—again—Mitch had the guts to risk it all. You and I never did, unless we were safe. And I’d say you shoved it back in his face, by the look of him, just like I did at our wedding. He’s hurting so bad, and you—”
Defeated, she snuffled back tears. “Tim…don’t…”
Tim’s rant came to a screaming halt. He kissed her hand linked in his. “I’m a bloody idiot, lecturing you when you’re sick. What a jerk. I’ve just been holding this in for so long, figuring you’d work it out yourself one day.”
She gave him a weak smile. “What, me? The original Blind Freddy? I didn’t even believe him when he said he loved me. What ever made you think I’d stop playing the martyr long enough to try a bit of self-examination? I was too busy blaming the world for my awful life. I needed you to put me over your knee and spank me for this years ago, Mr. Carroll.”
He kissed her forehead. “Good girl.”
She swiped at her tears. “Now, can you go get Mitch for me and take the kids for something disgusting for an hour or so? I think I have a bit of groveling to do—” her eyes twinkled “—and a reluctant fiancé to propose to.”
Tim caressed her cheek. “It’s a tough job, but I think I can handle it, with Ron’s help.” He got to his feet.
“Say hi to Ron for me…and…and thank him for coming.”
He smiled at her. “Just another in your legion of fans, my sweet thing.”
Then he left the room, and Lissa, fretting over what she would say to Mitch, fell asleep.
Chapter 16
“You said she was awake, Tim. What is this, a stupid joke? She’s still out, still sick because of me!”
Mitch’s low, strained voice stirred Lissa from her light doze. She opened her eyes and saw him, one wrist encased in plaster, healing bruises all over his face. “It’s no joke…and I’ve told you more than once to stop blaming yourself, McCluskey. Don’t you ever listen to me?” She stretched and yawned, feeling the painful twinge in her back. “Ow. I think I should leave
the aerobics until the hole closes over completely. You know, dear, not listening to your wife is a lousy way to start any marriage.”
Tim snorted, but the frenzied worry in Mitch’s eyes flattened with her gentle teasing. “We’re not getting married.”
She lifted a brow. “Wanna bet?”
Tim grinned. “I think this is my cue to, um, take the kids for ice cream.” He opened the door to the private room. “Mitch, my old mate, may as well give in now. Never argue with a woman who’s finally decided what she wants—especially not this woman. You don’t have the guns for it. I know Liss from way back.”
“Get out of here, will you?” Lissa demanded, her gaze fixed on Mitch. “No offence, Tim, but you’ve interrupted our love life a few dozen times too many.”
Tim gave his rich, full-bodied chuckle. “You’re right. I’m outta here.” The door swished as it closed behind him.
Mitch stood tense near the door, looking as if he wanted to bolt but his legs wouldn’t cooperate. “How are you feeling?”
“Like a woman who’s been given a second chance at life,” she replied softly. “A woman who’s not giving up on the man she wants without a fight.”
“I can’t take it, Liss.” His undamaged hand, curled in a balled fist, shoved into his pocket so hard he ripped the lining. “When you were shot—” His face twisted in anguish.
“I love you,” she said quietly.
He jerked back as if she’d stabbed him to the heart; his eyes were dark, tormented. “Baby, I’m no good for you. I don’t deserve you. You weren’t in any danger until I came home. You’ve been threatened, attacked, separated from the kids, had to bolt the country—you were shot far from help. You almost died, and none of it would have happened if I hadn’t been near you!”
“I wanted to be there, Mitch. I wanted to share your life.”
“Yeah, well, welcome to it,” he muttered savagely. “Welcome to the life of Mitch McCluskey, the kid who doesn’t even know his real name. Welcome to the mess and blood and mud and the worst forms of hatred and abuse in the human race. It’s where I came from, where I’ll always be…where I belong. You better—the best life can offer. So run, baby. Run as far and as fast as you can. Keep yourself safe—keep Jenny safe—keep Matt and Luke safe. Keep away from me, all of you, even the
boys. They deserve better than the freakin’ mess I put them in all these years, just by being their father!”
She felt his agony—the self-hate clawing at his very soul. Denial was his only lifeline. He had to reject her, or face the fact that he couldn’t save her from hurt. He couldn’t protect his family from the worst that life could throw at them. One day he might even have to watch helplessly as the people he loved beyond life died. The only people he had in the world.
What could she do?
Take the risk. Step outside your safety zone for once and give him what he needs!
She gulped. “All my life, I’ve tried to make sure I was safe, Mitch—safe in Breckerville, safe with Tim, safe from the pain of loving you. Protected from the world. It hasn’t made me feel any better about myself. I’ve never felt happy from the day you left me until you came back. Until you kissed me. Until you opened your world to me. Don’t you understand?” she cried as he shook his head, his eyes hollow, so haunted with guilt. “I’m not Sleeping Beauty. I’m an ordinary woman with needs—and I need you. I love you, Mitch! I want to be in your world and you in mine. Being safe doesn’t guarantee my happiness. Being with you does! It’s the closest I’ll be to Heaven in this world, having you love me—sharing a life with you and our kids!”
He pulled his hand from his jeans pocket and tugged at his uncollared T-shirt as though it strangled him. “I’m…sorry,” he said awkwardly, and turned to the door. “You’ll find someone else.” The words were halting, choked, as though everything inside him rose up in rebellion against the words he spoke.
He opened the door.
“No! Mitch!” In blind panic, she scrambled off the bed and tried to chase him, stumbling as a shot of intense pain hit her back, chest and arm. She cried aloud and fell to her knees, her IV trolley crashing on top of her.
Who Do You Trust? Page 23
