by Alexa McLean
I threw both plates in the trash and tried to distract myself by doing the dishes but I couldn’t get Ivan’s face out of my head. He looked so disappointed with himself. But what more could he have done? Malls were a dying industry and save for those in major cities, there were few of them that remained profitable. His bankruptcy was inevitable but in his mind, there was something more that he could have done to save the jobs of his employees.
With the dishes done, I retreated to the living room. I thought maybe a bit of TV would help pass the time but the news was once again covering Ivan’s story. I was about to switch to another channel when the reporter held the microphone to an individual that identified herself as a former cashier.
“It sucks that I lost my job. I used to really depend on that paycheck but I think the severance package was really generous and it’ll be enough to sustain me and my family until I am able to find another job.”
IT WAS GETTING LATE and Ivan had yet to return. I grabbed my cell phone from the nightstand, intending to dial his number.
“I’m sorry but the number you are trying to call is no longer in service.”
Right. His phone service had been disconnected with the loss of the company. I guess it was time to take him off speed dial...
With no way to reach him, I had no way of knowing where he was. He could be halfway to Mexico for all I knew. But, realistically, there was only one place he could have gone. It was our special place — our hideout if you would — where the sound of the ocean waves crashing against the shore always seems to melt away our problems, no matter how grave.
I hesitated when grabbing my coat because maybe I was being too paranoid. But I couldn’t help it if I was worried about the wellbeing of my boyfriend. If there was something he was dealing with then I wanted to be the rock he could depend on.
JUST AS I HAD GUESSED, he was at the beach. He was perched on top of a rock formation. When we were kids, we liked to call it ‘Pride Rock,’ after our favorite Disney movie, Lion King. But after we discovered the symbolism for said Pride Rock, we stopped calling it that. And if you don’t know what I’m talking about, you can look it up.
Ivan did not acknowledge me as I started to climb up to join him. He simply stared into the distance. The wind whipped around his hair making him look like a brooding actor about to play some important scene for a romantic drama.
“When were you planning on coming home?” I asked as I took a seat beside him.
“I don’t know if I should,” he responded. “Because it’s not my home to return to.”
“What are you talking about? If you don’t come home then who’s going to occupy the other half of my bed? Who’s going to keep me warm at night? And who’s going to set off the smoke detector when he tries to operate the toaster?”
“That happened one time,” he interjected.
“Twice,” I countered.
He glared in my direction. “Look, you worked hard in order to afford that home. I know that you squirreled away every last penny in order to achieve that dream. You were smart with your money whereas I was not. I lost everything as a result of my own stupidity.”
“Did Rome fall due to one emperor or was it a conglomerate of many interplaying parts?”
He held out my hand to stop me from continuing my analogy. “I appreciate what you are saying but I don’t need you to sugar coat it for me.”
“I’m not sugar coating anything. I am simply telling you the truth of the matter. Now, I’m not saying that you’re completely innocent. All I am saying is that you aren’t the sole reason for the company’s collapse. There were a lot of factors involved.”
Ivan seemed to be mulling over my words.
Wanting to comfort him, I rubbed the small of his back. “It’s going to be okay. And I want you to know that no matter what happens, I’ll be here.”
“Don’t you feel like I’m taking advantage of you?”
“Not at all.”
“But I’m living in your house and I haven’t contributed a single cent to your expenses. I’m pretty much a freeloader that calls himself your boyfriend. How can you tolerate that.”
“Because I know that as soon as you get back on your feet, you’d make it right.” I placed a hand on his cheek and ran my thumb across his cheek. He had shaved for his first day of work and as a result, his face felt baby soft.
Slowly, our faces gravitated together in a much-needed kiss.
I could feel Ivan’s tension at first but as the kiss continued in intensity, it faded away.
When the kiss ended, he actually smiled. “What would I do without you?”
“How about you never find out.” I returned his smile and could not resist another quick peck to the lips.
He pulled me into his arms and rested my head on his chest so we could enjoy the push and pull of the tide. The wet sand glistened with the moonlight, looking like a strip of diamonds.
I enjoyed the beauty of the sea and the silence of the moment knowing that Ivan needed this time to heal.
But the serenity did not last very long.
All of a sudden, I felt goosebumps trickling up my arm and a shiver seized my spine.
“What is it?” Ivan asked, sensing a shift in my overall posture.
I did not answer him as I looked over my shoulder, half expecting to find someone standing there, watching us. But, as far as I could tell, there was no one else on the beach beside the two of us.
“Lola?”
“Sorry, it just felt like there was someone here.”
Ivan scanned the area, eyes narrowed. “Are you sure?”
“No, it was just that eerie feeling, you know?”
“It’s probably nothing,” he assured. “We’ve already disproven the possibility of ghosts haunting this place.”
I laughed at the memory. One Halloween, we had both dressed up as Ghost Busters and we went around with cardboard gadgets and my mother’s old vacuum trying to find some paranormal activity. Suffice to say, we came up empty-handed. “You scared me so badly that day that I nearly peed my pants.”
“Oh yeah,” he grinned. “I nearly forgot about that.” His grin deepened. “If I remember correctly, you had this hysterical look on his face.” He attempted to recreate it and it was so insulting that I had to hit him in the arm. “You know I’m only teasing you, baby.”
He wrapped his arms around me and instantly, I was swaddled by his warmth. I nuzzled into his chest, catching a whiff of his natural scent — woodsy with a hint of masculine charm. I breathed it in and sighed because honestly, I felt like the luckiest woman in the world.
Chapter 13: Ivan
THINGS WERE GOING WELL — really well. I had been working for the fire department for three weeks or so and I had passed my training with flying colors. Apparently, I was a natural born fireman and I had no idea. Maybe losing my company wasn’t such a bad thing after all. Sometimes the world works in very mysterious ways.
As I was washing one of the engines, the alarm went off indicating that a fire had been reported.
I suited up as quick as I could and joined my comrades. I wasn’t yet allowed to drive so I was usually in charge of navigation and making sure we arrived at the correct address.
My eyes nearly bugged out of my sockets when I saw where we were going. “No...” I whispered to myself as I stared at the piece of paper in my hands. I blinked as if that might change something but of course, it didn’t.
“Where are we going?” snapped the driver. “We don’t got all day, newbie.”
“988 Lighthouse Road.,” I said, feeling numb. “Take a right out of the station and keep following North Main for about two miles.” I was retracing my commute because 988 Lighthouse Road was Lola’s home address.
There were a million and one thoughts running through my head. I tried to convince myself that nothing was wrong and that it would all turn out to be a false alarm but then that pessimistic side of me kicked in and I conjured up every worst-case scenario.
> “Take a left here,” I instructed as I inched to the very edge of my seat. I was scanning the horizon for smoke and to my horror, I saw it billowing into the clouds. It was a dark gray that indicated a hot, angry fire.
“This is going to be a doozy,” said the driver as he made another left turn.
I tried to remember whether Lola had gone to work or whether she had the day off. And if she had stayed home, then was she safe? Or was she trapped by the flames? Or worse yet...
No.
I couldn’t let myself think such a horrible thought.
We reached the tiny home and it was a downright inferno. The flames were so hot that they were a pure shade of white.
My co-workers were already pulling out hoses and gas masks but with Lola’s car in the driveway, I knew she was inside that blaze and I had to get her out of there before it was too late.
I was just about to rush in and tear apart every last floorboard until I found her but then I heard my name spoken by a familiar voice. I whipped around and saw her standing there, her skin ashy from a thin layer of soot. I ran to her side and pulled her into a tight embrace. “You’re safe,” I repeated over and over against because I honestly believed that I had lost her — that I was destined to find her body charcoaled to a crisp. “You’re safe.”
“Were you about to run in there?”
“I thought you were still inside,” I admitted.
She shook her head. “You idiot. You could have gotten yourself killed.”
“But it would have been worth it if it meant saving you.” Even though I was supposed to be working, I kissed her. To say I was relieved to have her in my arms was an understatement. I was overjoyed.
“A little help over here.” The leader of our squad whipped me back into place. I wanted to stay with Lola but I had a job to do so I did it. I handled a hose of my own and doused the flames.
They managed to put up one heck of a fight. Every time we thought we had won the battle, they would come up again, eager for more.
By the end of it, the whole squad was drenched in sweat and the house had been burnt down to the foundation.
I looked over at Lola and there were tears in her eyes. To see her home burning into oblivion was not an easy thing to watch. I yearned to comfort her but we needed to inspect the property and examine whether there was a clear trigger to the fire. Perhaps a faulty outlet or a neglected candle.
As the squad leader commented on this and that, it was my job to take notes.
Eventually, he returned to Lola and started to ask her some of the standard questions. “Do you smoke?”
“No.”
“Are you in the habit of lighting candles?”
“Yes. But not today.”
“Gas stove?”
“Yes, but I didn’t cook anything today. I only used the microwave.”
“And did you notice anything strange before the start of the fire?”
“As a matter of fact, I did.” She went on to explain that just before the fire she heard a pop like one of her windows had been shattered and when she went to check it out, her entire bathroom was up in flames.
I wrote down every word she said and there was only one thought going through my head.
Arson.
“We will investigate the matter and do everything in our power to figure out what happened here. In the meantime, we hope that you have somewhere to stay. If not, accommodations will be made at the local motel.”
“I can stay with my mother,” she answered. “But is there any way I can look around...? There has to be something that survived the fire.”
“We are not allowed to let you do that, ma’am. The area is unsafe and it would be a liability if you look around.”
“What about me?” I asked. “Can I look around in her stead?”
The squad leader considered it for a moment before giving his nod of consent. “You may.”
“Thank you.” He walked away and joined the others.
“Is there anything in particular that you’d like me to look for?”
“Anything,” she whispered, her voice shaky.
“I’ll do my best.” I searched every part of that house but nothing was salvageable. The loft where she kept most of her valuables had been totally eradicated. It no longer existed. Her bed was gone. The roof above it was also gone. All that remained was the smoldering ladder that had led there.
It pained me to know that we could no longer enjoy our nights there. It had been taken away from Lola just like my company had been taken away from me. It was a double whammy and if this was how the world worked then it was wholly unfair. What had Lola done to deserve this? She was an angel. If some higher entity wanted to punish her then clearly he was delusional.
I made my way to the bathroom. The window was shattered but so were many of the others. Heat tends to do that and even now, the place was boiling. My shoes were made to walk over hot surfaces and even so I could feel the red hot embers underneath my soles.
Arson.
The thought echoed inside my skull.
I searched for evidence. A glass bottle used in a molotov cocktail or a single match. Anything. Because if someone had done this to hurt Lola then there would be hell to pay. I’d find the perpetrators and follow them to the ends of the Earth if that’s what it took to get the justice that she deserved.
But who would do this to her?
I couldn’t imagine that she had any enemies.
And then it occurred to me. Maybe whoever did this was not targeting Lola but me. I had plenty of people who were angry at me. I had plenty of people who wanted me dead.
My mouth soured.
Had I endangered Lola just by living with her?
With a heavy heart, I returned to my girlfriend and told her that there was nothing left. “I’m sorry...”
She blinked and tears rolled down her cheeks. “I can’t believe that it’s gone...”
“We’ll get through this,” I said, trying to be supportive. “I’m here for you.”
“Can you just bring me to my mother’s place? I can’t stand to look at this...”
“Of course.” Luckily, her car had not been damaged by the flames and it was deemed safe enough to drive once we rolled it onto the street.
The ride to her mother’s place was a quiet one. I wanted to say something that would help her but I was at a loss for words. What did you say to someone who had just watched their house burn to the ground?
In the end, I rested my hand on hers and gave it a squeeze, hoping that was enough.
THERE WAS A LOT OF crying once Lola’s mother found out what had happened. I made them both some tea because I knew it was a good remedy for anxiety and fear.
By midnight, Lola excused herself. She looked exhausted.
“Is there anything I can do to help?” I asked as she sat down on the edge of her childhood room. Despite the fact that Lola had moved out years ago, her room had been left untouched. It was like a time capsule left for us to rediscover all the things we had loved as teenagers. Boy band posters hung from the wall. A tattered teddy bear I had won for her at a local carnival sat on her bed. Her vanity was a bright Barbie pink.
“Just stay here with me,” she whispered. “That’s all I need.”
“Are you sure your mom is going to allow that?” I glanced at the open door. I hadn’t bothered to close it because when we were younger, her mother had insisted that we always leave it ajar. I guess some habits never die.
“Please. We’re grown adults. Besides, she has been trying to get me to hook up with you for a while.”
“Are you being serious right now?”
“No word of a lie. She was over the moon when I said we had started dating.”
“And she didn’t care that I’m a deadbeat broke.”
“She knows that you make me happy and that’s all that matters.”
I kissed her forehead and smiled. Lola had shown me that there are things in life that are more important than personal
possessions. It is friendships and relationships that matter most because they are what really enrich your life. Fancy cars and big mansions are awesome and all, but at the end of the day, they mean absolutely nothing.
And I just regret that it took me losing everything to realize that.
“I just can’t believe it...” she whispered. “All of this feels like a horrible nightmare but I know it’s real. I know that I have to start all over again.”
I followed her to the vanity and hugged her from behind. “I know it’s hard but we’ll find a way to get through this. I thought I was down and out when I went bankrupt and they took everything away from me but you showed me that I still had the one thing that mattered — you.” I kissed the side of her neck with the utmost gentleness almost like I feared she would break.
She reached forward and turned on an old music box. It twinkled with a familiar tune.
“Where did you get that?” I asked.
“Your mother gave it to me.”
“My mother?”
“Mhm. For my tenth birthday, if I’m not mistaken.”
I was about to pick it up when there was a knock on the door. Lola’s mother peeked her head into the room, holding an envelope. “This was slipped under my door...” She held it out for me to take. I cocked my head to the side wondering why she was giving it to me. How was I getting mail at her address? Unless... someone had followed me.
“What is it?” Lola asked as she looked over my shoulder.
I hadn’t opened it. I was trying to examine the messy script scrawled along the front in case I recognized it. I didn’t.
Slowly, I ran my finger under the flap and broke the seal. Inside was a threat.
“That fire was just the beginning.”
Lola gasped. “Is someone trying to hurt you?”
I was furious. If someone wanted to come after me, that was fine — I probably deserved it — but to hurt my girlfriend in the process, that was a big, big mistake. Whoever had orchestrated this would need to pay and pay hard.
