“I saw one of my regulars at the Galaxy Theatre last night,” said a metrosexual wearing thumb rings. “She smelled. I mean, she smelled bad.”
This sounded promising. “Do you have her name and address?”
The clerks looked at each other. “It’s on her checks, but she hasn’t come here for, like, two or three months,” he said.
Two or three months! Buzz had some explaining to do.
“I think her name’s Eunice. Or Beulah or something like that,” said metrosexual.
“Beulah!” the leggy girl exclaimed. “It’s in diamonds in loopy script on this huge-ass brooch. She always wears it.”
“You’ve been very helpful.” Jewel’s phone rang. “If you remember anything else, call me?” She handed over her card with her left hand and flipped open the phone with her right. “Hello?” Her eye rolled, seeking Buzz. Whew, Randy had him by the elbow, waiting outside. She joined them, phone-to-ear.
“Are you working this case or not?” Clay’s voice said querulously. “I’m all alone here with two slavering mad scientists and two women who hate each other’s guts and I can’t get anything done without you.”
“Where,” Jewel said, lowering her voice, “the hell were you this morning? You knew I needed to talk to you, Clay Dawes. Or should I say Clay Thompson? And another thing. Randy needs some ID, stat. Something solid. A crook like you should know where to get it.”
“Piece of cake,” he said. “When can you get back here?”
She eyed Buzz. He seemed docile enough. “Ten minutes. Hey, did a package come for me from the office?”
Clay paused. “Yeah.”
What was that tone about? “Oh. You opened it. It was addressed to me.”
“It was addressed to Jewel Heiss. I got to the door before Himmler did, that butler, so no damage done. I had to open it to find out who was dumb enough to break your cover.”
That would have been me. She should have told Ed she was working under an alias. No point mentioning that.
“Well, if you haven’t done anything creative with the contents, meet me at the Thompsons’ back gate in about ten minutes.” Oh, duh. Clay must think I want to anklet him! Well, let him sweat. “I am so pissed at you.”
“Be pissed, but get here.” Clay hung up.
“You don’t hang up on your senior partner!” she yelled at the dead phone, then turned to her companions. “Buzz, we’re going for a little ride, and you’ll tell me some more about how long you’ve been at this, and this time don’t lie.”
“Are you taking me to a back room with rubber hoses?” he squeaked.
“I wouldn’t know what to do with a rubber hose. We’ll ask you some questions and then we’ll turn you loose. And when I phone you — you have a cell, right? — you’ll answer and you’ll meet me when and where I want to see you.”
Buzz relaxed. “Sure.”
Sure is right. She loved him like a kid brother but she wouldn’t trust him farther than she could shotput his bicycle. Which reminded her. “We gotta swing by Water Tower and pick up your piece-of-shit bike.”
“If it’s still there,” Buzz said glumly.
The bike was still there. Randy put the bike on the roof of the Tercel and tied it down with some string Buzz had in the bottom of his backpack.
While he was doing this, a garbage truck stopped in front of them. Quick as thought, Buzz grabbed the bagful of teeny potion bottles out of the Tercel’s front seat and hurled it into the truck’s maw just as the compactor blade came down. The bottles popped like firecrackers.
Randy had him by the arms in the next moment. Too late.
Jewel stared into the garbage truck.
A keen investigator would be, like, sorting through all the pooper-scooper bags and spilled pop cans to find one intact potion bottle.
Euw.
“I still have a sample from yesterday,” she said feebly.
Buzz looked crestfallen, then brightened. “Yeah, but your fingerprints are smearing mine.”
“Smarty-pants.” She put him in the back seat with Randy, drove to within a block of Virgil’s place, then turned up the alley behind it.
Clay was lurking by the garbage cans, holding a cardboard box and looking pained.
Jewel parked, shielded from the house’s view by Virgil’s back garden wall. “Lemme see the package.”
The office had included instructions, which she read while Randy took Buzz’s bike off the car. No tracking unit. A note from the office read, Still adjusting tracker to track two anklets. Sending tomorrow. The anklets didn’t look like much, plain black rubbery bands, each with a little box on it.
“Okay, Buzz, c’mere.”
Buzz approached cautiously, Randy herding him like a sheepdog. When he saw the anklet, he tried to bolt. Randy caught him and pushed his face to the alley wall.
“No, no, nonono!” Buzz beat the wall with his fists.
“Oh, hush. Shut up! Buzz, shut up and listen!”
He turned his head against the bricks and rolled one eye toward Jewel. “I’m a free citizen. You can’t do this to me.”
“You’re about to go to jail for selling a dangerous drug without a license. Work with me.” She laid her hand on his shoulder. “Buddy, this is what I keep warning you,” she said in a softer voice. “This is why I want you to go to high school like a normal kid. Join society. You mess around on the fringe, you get in trouble. You’re a very creative person and I admire that, but this is a stupid way to live.”
“I like the fringe. Society doesn’t like me.”
She sighed. “Hold him.” While Randy tightened his grip, she clipped the anklet around Buzz’s ankle. All the fight went out of the kid. When she stood up she said, “I’ll take it off when this case is over. That means, if we need you to testify, you are still wearing it.”
Buzz tried to bolt past her, pushing her aside. Clay caught him by the tee-shirt collar. He made the kid face Jewel again.
“No judge is gonna believe nothin’ a homeless person says,” Buzz growled. “Not if he’s wearing a illegal tracer anklet.”
Jewel smiled a tight smile. “You’re so sharp, you’ll cut yourself. It stays. Now, what’s your cell number?”
He looked sulky, but he gave her the number, which she tested then and there with her own phone. His phone rang in his pocket.
“Good boy. I’ll call you when I need you. Give him his backpack, Randy.”
Buzz grabbed the backpack, sent her one embittered glance, threw his leg over the bike, and pedaled off.
“Go inside, Randy. I have to talk to Clay. No, wait a minute, come here.”
Clay and Randy exchanged glances.
“Bossy,” Clay said.
“She does her duty,” Randy said.
“Knock it off,” she pleaded, and showed Randy the anklet. “This is what I was talking about. It has a teeny GPS device in it that’s always talking to the tracking unit. Which reminds me, you do need a cell phone. That way, if you’re out and about somewhere, say you’re late coming home, and the unit stops moving for a long time, the tracker knows. I can call you. If you’re still connected to the anklet, you can tell me where you are, and that’ll tie in with the signal. If you don’t answer, I’ll know it’s time to go look for you, and I’ll have a good idea where.”
Randy eyed the anklet with mistrust. “Buzz recognized it.”
“He watches more TV than you do.” She bent and locked it around Randy’s ankle.
“But why should he object?”
Straightening, she sighed. “He’s a free spirit. He’s a runaway, probably from some horrible home we know nothing about. He’s under-age and he knows he could be sent back to his family if he gets in trouble with the law.”
“You didn’t threaten him with his family.”
“I’m not a total asshole.” Jewel leafed through the manual provided by the office. “Battery good for five years. That’s what I figured.”
“I still don’t understand why—” Randy’s v
oice rose.
Clay blew the gaff wide open. “They put it on paroled convicts who can’t be trusted to stay put.”
Randy took this big. “What!”
Jewel looked up from the manual to see him swelling and glaring, headed for full snit.
She stepped as close to him as she could get without rubbing her breasts against him. “Easy. We discussed this, remember? We’ll both be glad you have it someday.”
“I’m branded a criminal! Even street urchins will know!”
She kept her voice calm. “Four hours ago, you wanted it.”
“I am not a criminal! I may have no name, no employment, and no past, but you cannot chain me like a transportee!” He reached down and wrenched at the anklet. “I’ll cut it off!”
“Not with conventional weapons,” Clay said. “That’s wire-reinforced. Try pulling your sock up over it.”
Randy let go of his ankle and stood, panting and glaring at Jewel. “You know I am ignorant of the tools necessary to free myself. You take advantage of me.”
“And you take advantage of me. Think of it as a flawed partnership. We’re trying to work this out, okay?” she said when he still looked steamed. “Give it a chance?”
With a brief scowl at Clay, Randy flung away, strode through the back gate of the Thompson mansion, and slammed it behind him.
Jewel rubbed her temple. “That went well, I thought.”
“Touchy.”
“And you were so helpful.” Jewel fixed Clay with a cold eye. “Clay Thompson,” she said as he sidled toward the gate. “Come back here. With partners like this I don’t need enemies. I can send you back to the office.”
“I don’t think so.”
“I can get you fired.”
“Bet?” He smiled his kissy-face con artist smile.
“Okay, I can whine and whimper to Ed and pull a Sayers, freak out, go on psych leave. Then see if Ed’ll make you anybody else’s partner. What the fuck are you doing?” she burst out. “Is this whole case just a scam you’re running so you can keep an eye on Griffy’s crumbling relationship?”
Clay looked over his shoulder at the house. “Let’s take a walk.” She let him lead her around the corner onto Marine Drive. “First of all, I didn’t know Griffy would call the department. She’s usually not so creative or independent.”
“Oh, that’s insulting. I thought you cared about her!”
Clay walked, staring straight ahead. “I care about her a lot. She’s been more of a mother to me than any other girlfriend Virgil’s had.” They crossed Marine Drive and walked down a ramp into a pedestrian tunnel under Lake Shore Drive. The tunnel was crowded with people headed for the beach. “If I had to, I would involve the whole department,” he admitted, his voice hollow in the tunnel. “But I couldn’t see how we could help, and I told her that. So Griffy phoned in the complaint over my head.”
Jewel lengthened her stride to keep up. “Why didn’t you tell me all this when Ed gave us the case?”
He was silent. They emerged from the tunnel into sunlight and into the park.
Jewel pulled him around to face her. “This isn’t a game. This is my job. And it’s the law. You’re using it like a personal club you can bring down on people you don’t like.”
“You’re being a little—”
“Sovay? Tell me you don’t want to bust her.”
He looked at her with no expression. “I can’t tell you that.” But she had a flash of Clay throttling Sovay until her tongue stuck out.
Jewel blinked. “Well, I’d love to bust her. Only, being an officer of the law, I have to put that aside and look at the facts. The fact is, she may be putting moves on your father, but she hasn’t yet tried to defraud anybody. I have reservations about Virgil and Herr Doktor Professor Gustavus Katterfelto Kauz, but Sovay, I fear, has done nothing but be a bitch. Unless,” Jewel added, “she stole the Venus Machine from somebody.”
Clay shook his head. “Sorry, no.”
“You know this.”
“Uh, a couple of files came with the anklets.”
“And you were going to tell me when?”
He put his palms out. “You were in such a hurry with the anklets, I thought you’d rather deal with higher priorities.” The relaxed, nasal whine was back in his voice, and she knew he’d recovered his balance.
“That reminds me, what have you done with the background checks you did on these people? Ed says he doesn’t have them.”
“Didn’t you find those?” Clay in an innocent voice.
“Look me in the eye.” He didn’t know about the latest wrinkle from the Venus Machine.
He met her look with his blandest boy-next-door face.
She said, “Are you worried that there’s a warrant outstanding against Virgil?”
“No.”
Looking deep into his baby blues, she could think of nothing but holding his hand. Then she realized he was holding her hand. He lifted it to his lips and kissed her knuckles.
“Jewel, I want Griffy to have what she wants.”
“Is that all you want?” She searched his face. Again, she got a picture of a picket fence and a golden retriever on a lawn.
This new Venus Machine wrinkle was worthless. Like every other kind of magic she’d been forced to deal with.
“That’s all,” Clay said. “Oh, I also want to keep my job.”
She pulled her hand free. “Then you’ll remember who your senior partner is. You stick around for when I need you. And you’ll cough up those files, including the ones that came today, as soon as we get back to the house.”
“Absolutely.” He was back in control.
“And take this sample to the lab for me?” She rummaged in her purse. “Dammit, I had it here a minute ago.” Then she remembered Buzz shoving her, trying to escape, and sighed.
“Can’t find it?”
“He must have sneaked it out of my purse. That kid has way too many survival skills.”
“I could chase after him.”
She groaned in frustration. “It’s gone now. Sold or thrown in a dumpster.”
Clay patted her shoulder. “What else can I do for you, partner?”
“You can get Randy a fake identity so I don’t have to shit bricks every time he goes out in public.”
Clay kissed her knuckles again. “For you, anything.”
She threw up her hands and turned back toward Virgil’s house. “Groovy. Get that sex demon to quit pouting, and we’ve almost got a team.”
Chapter Eighteen
Jewel sent Clay up to his room for the files and went in search of Randy.
She found a maid in the card room, vacuuming. No Randy.
She found Griffy in the kitchen with Mellish and the cook and a woman from a catering firm. No Randy.
She found Kauz in the collection room, taking pictures of things with his psychespectrometer. No Randy.
No Sovay, either, which put a sour taste in her mouth.
She even tried her own room, where “Lord Darner” might be sulking, lying in wait for her. Nope.
She did find Virgil standing in front of the bedroom door across the hall from hers, his knuckle raised to knock, and his ear cocked.
“Virgil, have you seen Lord Darner?”
“Lord Darner? Why, no, I haven’t.” There was the faintest tremor in Virgil’s hand, and he smiled senilely. “I’ve been looking for Ms. Sacheverell, myself. This is her room.”
Just then Jewel heard a rhythmic thump-and-squeak from inside Sovay’s room. Randy and the snake! She felt herself blush. “Okay, guess I’ll, uh, go to my room,” she said loudly. The thumping stopped. Heat rose up her back, burning all the way to her ears. She blundered through her bedroom door across the hall.
On a second thought, she closed the door, then opened it a fraction and laid her ear against the gap.
Knock knock knock. “Sovay, my dear? Are you in there?” Knock knock knock. Man, this guy had no tact. Or else he hoped to catch them at it. Virgil wasn’t de
af, and he wasn’t gaga.
Knock knock knock. “Sovay? We’re almost ready for lunch. I’ve come to take you down.”
Now there was a double entendre, if you chose to hear it.
Jewel heard a door open and Sovay’s muffled voice. “Sorry, darling, I was napping.” I’ll bet, Jewel thought.
“Shall I come in?”
“No!” A rather artificial giggle followed this heart cry.
“I could help zip you up,” Virgil chortled. Peeking, Jewel saw him start to push his way into Sovay’s bedroom.
Sovay’s hands appeared, shoving him back out into the hall.
Jewel ducked inside her room.
Sovay’s door slammed. “Be right with you, darling!”
“Of course, of course. You look charming in that negligee, my dear.”
“Naughty man!” Sovay said through the door.
Virgil chuckled. Footsteps sounded down the hall, and Jewel peeked out again to see him descending the stairs.
She felt steam coming out of her ears. The witch! She marched across the hall. Let her think the sugar daddy’s come back to pinch her again. She rapped on Sovay’s door.
“Coming!” Sovay trilled from inside.
Jewel had to knock twice. Then the door opened on a fully-dressed Sovay.
Sovay’s face twisted into a silent snarl.
Jewel was glad she was three inches taller than the bitch.
“Hi, I wondered if you’ve seen Lord Darner anywhere? He hasn’t taken his afternoon penicillin. He’s so careless.” Jewel looked past Sovay at a rumpled bed. “About where he sleeps.”
Sovay flipped her hair back and threw the door wide.
Jewel sauntered past, scanning the room for signs of Randy. No pile of empty Lord-Darnerwear. No anklet. A knotted pillowcase full of something tipped over and slid off the bed to the floor. Randy’s clothes? Behind her, she could feel Sovay’s glare like a red-hot slap on the back of her head.
No Randy.
It was a ninety-percent sure thing he was in that bed.
But Jewel had a huge advantage now. All she needed was the tracking unit and she would find him.
Stifling a sigh of relief, she swept past Sovay. “Lunchtime,” she said brightly. “If you’re not too full to eat.”
The Hinky Velvet Chair Page 13
