by Jenna Black
“It’s embalmed,” he informed me. “And from the looks of it, I’d say it was already embalmed when it was cut off.”
I crossed my arms over my chest, still feeling the chill that had descended on me the moment I’d realized what was in the package.
“Don’t you need a lab tech or something to make a determination like that?”
He glanced at me over his shoulder. “I’ve been a cop for fourteen years, and I’ve seen a lot of corpses. I can make an educated guess, though yeah, the lab guys will have to confirm it. I’m thinking there’s a funeral parlor somewhere that’s misplaced a hand.”
That was better than thinking someone had been killed specifically for the purpose of sending me this love note. But I still wasn’t exactly basking in relaxation.
“I’m going to have to call in a team,” Adam said.
“This bubble wrap should hold a print nicely, though if this is from the same guy who’s been leaving you the phone messages, I doubt he’d be so accommodating as to leave prints.”
I doubted it, too. My anonymous caller used some kind of voice-altering device when he called, and he seemed to be quite a pro. I couldn’t even say for sure whether it was a man or a woman, though I had automatically assumed man. I’m not sure why.
“Um, Adam?”
“Yeah?”
“If you call in a team, how am I supposed to explain that I didn’t call the police about the death threats?” I’d talked it over with Adam when I’d first started getting the threats, and he’d agreed with me that there wouldn’t be much the police could do. He’d also agreed with me that I was better off keeping a low profile as far as the police were concerned. There’d been a lot of seriously bad shit happening around me in the last couple of months, and more police attention was not something I needed.
“Tell them the truth: that you didn’t think there was anything they could do about the calls.” Adam covered up the hand with the sheet of tissue paper, then tore off his rubber gloves and came to sit on the love seat next to the couch.
“This isn’t something I can sweep under the rug for you,” he said. “We need to figure out who that hand belongs to and confirm my guess that the victim was already dead and embalmed before the hand was severed. Otherwise, we could have an actual murder here.”
I leaned back into the cushions of the couch and groaned. He was right, of course. The police weren’t going to be happy with me for not having reported the death threats, but I was just going to have to suck it up.
“You still convinced you wouldn’t be better off with a bodyguard?” Adam asked me.
For half a second, I wondered if Adam really had sent me that hand, hoping to scare me into letting Saul stay in my spare room. But no, that wasn’t Adam’s style. He’d always been remarkably straightforward.
I guess I was quiet long enough that Adam assumed I hadn’t changed my mind—which I hadn’t.
“Maybe you should consider staying at Brian’s for a while,” he said. “And no, I’m not saying that because I hope you’ll let Saul stay in your apartment while you’re gone. It’s just that whoever’s threatening you is obviously escalating, and I suspect it’s going to get worse.”
Great. Just what I needed.
“I’ll deal with it,” I told Adam. I wasn’t any more likely to ask Brian to let me stay with him than I was to ask him for money at the moment.
Adam shook his head in disgust. “What is it with you? Why do you have to do every fucking thing on your own? Why can’t you accept help when it’s offered?”
I’d usually have bitten his head off for a comment like that, but I guess I was feeling rather vulnerable right then, so I answered him.
“I’ve learned from long, hard experience that the only person I can ever truly count on is myself. I just… don’t dare lean on anyone.”
He regarded me with cocked head and furrowed brow. I think he was genuinely concerned about my well-being, which was kind of a nice change. Usually, I had the feeling he only cared about Lugh and that he despised me.
“Is there some reason you can’t accept help and count on yourself at the same time?” he asked. “Just because you went to stay with Brian for a little while wouldn’t mean you were putting your entire life in his hands. You can still defend yourself even if you’re with him.”
“You wouldn’t understand,” I said, and it was true. Adam couldn’t know the utterly devastating feeling of trusting someone and having them fail you. It was easier just not to trust, to rely only on myself.
I expected Adam to get mad at my obvious brush-off, but he didn’t.
“How do you know I wouldn’t understand?”
“Because you’ve never …” I let my voice trail off, realizing how foolish it was to make any kind of sweeping generalization about Adam. The fact was, I knew almost nothing about him other than what had happened since Lugh had joined me.
“Remember for a moment that there are basically two people in this body,” he said. “I suspect my host has dealt with more betrayals and disillusionment than you can possibly imagine.”
I knew next to nothing about Adam’s host, although I had met him briefly when Adam had— highly illegally—transferred to Dom’s body to heal what would have been a fatal gunshot wound. I’d decided from that brief meeting that Adam and his host were more alike than not, but I had no good way to justify that conclusion.
“What happened to your host?” I asked.
Adam was silent for a moment, perhaps consulting with his host to confirm it was all right for him to share.
“He came out when he was eighteen,” Adam said, “though by that time he’d already experimented with both men and women. He likes women just fine, but he prefers men. His entire family disowned him— mom, dad, two brothers, and a sister. His dad gave him a bunch of money, in exchange for which he was never to call or otherwise contact any member of the family again.”
I’d always wondered how Adam could afford his impressive house on a cop’s salary—even on the salary of a high-ranked cop. I guess this explained it. I swallowed hard, regretting that I’d insinuated he’d always had it easy. Adam and his host were obviously fond of one another, and assuming Adam had as much ability to read and understand his host as Lugh did, then he probably did understand exactly what it was like to be betrayed by the ones you counted on.
“I’m sorry,” I said, even though it was a lame, generic thing to say. Seriously, though, what else can you say to a confession like that?
“I’m sure in the end that my host is better off having no contact with his family. Such a toxic environment would have turned him inside out. But believe me, that doesn’t make it easy.”
I’m not sure if it was because I was so shaken up by the hand, or if it was because Adam and I were suddenly so in sympathy with one another, but I said, “I’ll see what I can do about staying with Brian for a while. And Saul can house-sit while I’m away if it works out.”
“It will.”
I shook my head. “Don’t be too sure.”
“Don’t tell me you two are fighting again.”
I winced. “Not exactly. We just had … an awkward moment, let’s say. We’re going to talk again today, and we’ll probably get it all hashed out and settled.” Wishful thinking, perhaps, but what else could I do? “I’ll let you know what happens.”
Adam nodded his agreement, then proceeded to call in his brothers-in-arms to investigate the hand.
Chapter 6
After the men in blue were called in, I no longer had to worry about how to while away the hours of the day. If I’d called them about the death threats, they might have brushed me off, but it seemed like a hand in the mail made a definite impression.
At this point in my life, I had way too much experience being interviewed by the police. I knew that the questions would get repetitive, and that the repetition would irritate the crap out of me. I would then proceed to irritate the crap out of whoever was interviewing me, which would make the
whole thing last longer.
Color me shocked, but the process went just about like I expected. As an extra giggle in this already fun-filled afternoon, I was lectured by some pimple-faced rookie with Dumbo ears about how I should have called the police sooner. I managed to refrain from lecturing him about the wonders of Clearasil.
The cops found a bunch of fingerprints on the bubble wrap, but I had a hunch they would all turn out to be mine. Adam was right—whoever was after me wasn’t stupid or careless enough to leave fingerprints. The cops would check the fingerprints they found anyway. Conveniently, my prints were already on file from when I’d been arrested for illegal exorcism. Lucky me.
It was well past my usual dinnertime, and the cops were just packing up to leave, when Brian showed up. This, of course, meant I couldn’t get away with any delay tactics—I had to tell him right away about the lovely gift I’d received. At least the police were gone by the time I finished giving Brian the details, though they had left plenty of fingerprint powder behind. Yay, an excuse to do some more cleaning!
When I’d finished telling Brian about my day, he leaned back into the cushions of the sofa and let out a heartfelt sigh.
“You’re just unbelievable,” he muttered.
“Hey!” I said, punching him in the shoulder. “It’s not my fault some wacko decided to send me a hand in the mail.”
He smiled faintly as he rubbed his shoulder. “I’m just saying that your life is too eventful to believe. I’m not saying it’s your fault.”
I couldn’t disagree with his assessment.
Since my day was already shot to hell anyway, I decided to add a little more stress and misery to my plate and forge ahead with the conversation I usually would have done my best to put off.
“So, are you still pissed at me?”
Another sigh. “I’m not pissed at you. I never was.”
“Your nose is growing, Pinocchio.”
He propped his elbow on the back of the couch and half turned to face me. “I wish you had told me what was going on before last night. I wish you could be a quarter, or even an eighth as open with me as you are with Lugh.”
I started to say something indignant, but Brian cut me off.
“I know you don’t have a choice with Lugh. But you do have a choice with me.”
“Brian—”
“Let me finish.” He took my hand, giving it a firm squeeze. “You’re probably the most frustrating person I’ve ever met, but I’ve known that for a long time, and I still love you.” His lips quirked in a half smile. “Even though you drive me crazy.” The smile faded. “But I need you to trust me every once in a while.”
“I do!” I responded instantly. I’d loved Brian from the first moment I’d met him, even though logic had insisted—and still continued to insist—that we were all wrong for each other. And I trusted him more than I’d ever trusted anyone else in my life—not that that’s a ringing endorsement.
He quirked an eyebrow at me and looked skeptical.
“Look, I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about what Lugh was up to earlier. I just thought things between us were complicated enough without adding that to the mix.”
“And that’s the perfect example of what I mean when I say you don’t trust me enough. What bad thing would have happened if you’d told me as soon as you knew Lugh was interested?”
I crossed my arms and gritted my teeth. “You’d have gone all macho-man on me and gotten jealous.” I had to admit, I was surprised he seemed so much more upset about my failure to communicate than about the thought of Lugh trying to seduce me.
“Okay. I’m a normal guy. I don’t like finding out that some other guy is making moves on my woman.” He suddenly looked me straight in the eye while seeming to look right through me. “You hear me, Lugh? Morgan’s taken, and I’m not willing to share!” His eyes focused on me once more. “So I’m annoyed at Lugh. Big deal. You don’t think I’m going to dump you just because someone else wants you, do you?”
Reluctantly, I shook my head, because he was making way more sense than I liked.
“As long as you didn’t actually sleep with him, there’s only so upset I can get,” he concluded.
There he went with his impeccable logic again. “I still didn’t want to upset you.”
“So you’re never going to tell me anything that might upset me?” He was starting to get all pissed again. “You’re going to keep me in the dark, packed in cotton like some fragile glass ornament you only bring out at Christmas? How would you feel if I treated you that way?”
Once again, he had a point. My internal defense mechanisms wanted me to attack right back—I’m one of those “offense is the best defense” people—but I fought that instinct, taking a deep breath to calm myself down before I spoke.
“You’re right,” I admitted.
Brian looked startled.
“I’d hate it if you did that to me. And I’ll try my best not to do it again.”
His look was one of classic skepticism. “You’re going to stop hiding things from me ‘for my own good’?”
I grimaced. “I’ll try,” I promised. I thought of the big secret I was still keeping about what I’d let Adam do to me. But that was an old secret, and I was only promising not to keep new ones, right? “I’m probably going to screw up now and again, because it’s second nature to me. But I’ll try hard. Can you live with that?”
He regarded me for a long time before he answered, and I got the feeling he was searching every nuance of my expression for hidden clues. Finally, he sighed.
“I can live with that,” he said guardedly, “as long as your attempts meet with some success. Consider yourself on romantic probation and be on your best behavior for a while, okay?”
I didn’t like the way he’d phrased that—it sounded suspiciously like an ultimatum—but he was being pretty reasonable under the circumstances, so I nodded my acceptance.
I was still trying to figure out whether I should ask Brian about staying with him for a little while, just until we discovered who my secret admirer was, when the phone rang. I grabbed the phone and glanced at the caller ID. Jack Hillerman.
The name sounded vaguely familiar, but it took me a moment to place it. Then I remembered that Hillerman was Maguire’s attorney, the one Laura thought was trying to make a name for himself at my expense. Just who I wanted to talk to right now.
“Who is it?” Brian asked as I sat there stupidly staring at the phone.
“Maguire’s lawyer.” The phone rang for a fourth time, and my answering machine picked up. I was pretty sure I didn’t want to hear whatever Hillerman had to say. I noticed Brian wasn’t bugging me to answer it, so I figured I was making the right decision.
The answering machine beeped, then started to record.
“Ms. Kingsley,” said a deep male voice with an upper-crust accent that immediately made me think “pretentious snob.” “This is Jack Hillerman. I am Jordan Maguire’s attorney. It is my understanding that you made an attempt to contact my client this afternoon.”
Brian raised an eyebrow at me. I held up a hand in a “wait a minute” gesture.
“From now on,” Hillerman continued, “I must insist that any attempts to speak to my client be made through me. If you call him or speak to him again, I will have a restraining order put on you. My client has been through enough trauma without having to be harrassed by the author of his troubles.”
The answering machine beeped again, and I realized Hillerman had hung up. Brian was still giving me the eyebrow arch, so I answered his unspoken question.
“I thought maybe if I talked to Maguire, we could work something out without having to go through all this lawsuit bullshit. I knew it was a long shot, but I figured it couldn’t hurt to try. I just left a message with his daughter asking him to call. I certainly didn’t harass him.”
“Have you hired an attorney yet?”
I didn’t answer, which was answer enough.
“Morgan, hire an att
orney. Tomorrow. I mean it.”
“Okay, okay.”
“These guys are obviously planning to play hardball, and you’ve never exactly been Miss Congeniality.”
I gave him a dirty look.
“Well, you haven’t!” he insisted. “It’s probably a good thing you didn’t reach Maguire or you might have said something he could have used against you.”
I crossed my arms over my chest, all my defensive reflexes coming to life at once. “Your faith in me is just overwhelming.”
He gave me a pointed look, and I pulled back on the reins of my temper.
“I got the message, okay?” I said. “I’ll call a lawyer tomorrow, and I won’t try to talk to Maguire again. Promise.”
Brian didn’t look entirely convinced, but thankfully, he let the subject drop.
Brian stayed the night, so I never got around to asking him if I could stay at his place for a while. Just as well, since I still couldn’t decide whether I wanted to. As always, the longer I could put off a decision, the happier I was.
I’m not sure if you could call our discussion of this afternoon a fight, but the sex that night sure had the feeling of make-up sex. Nothing I was going to complain about, that’s for sure.
Brian was gone by the time I woke up in the morning. Being currently unemployed gave me the leeway to sleep as late as I wanted. Of course, even when I was employed, I pretty much got to make my own hours. I really loved being an exorcist, and I hoped this suspension wouldn’t last much longer. But with the lawsuit hanging over my head, I suspected that was a pretty vain hope.
I did my zombie walk to the kitchen and had grabbed the coffee cannister and a filter before it registered in my sleep-addled mind that a full pot of coffee already awaited me. Have I mentioned how much I love Brian?
