But after Bethany was assaulted, all that anyone seemed to remember was that he’d been the kid with the dirty clothes, messed-up family, and very little supervision.
The moment the charges were dropped and he was free to leave the area, Mark finally came to terms with the fact that Horse Cave held nothing for him. Not anymore. Maybe it never had. He headed to Indiana and got a job in an RV factory near the Illinois state line. The work had been good and Mark was able to save a lot of money.
While he was there, he was able to let down his guard some. The men he worked with thought he was just like them: a young Amish man trying to make something of himself. Only when he was sitting in his apartment late at night did he allow himself to think of his childhood in Horse Cave. He’d remember the windy, hilly roads, the creeks, the abundance of trees, and the scent of wildflowers in the air.
He’d lost track of Calvin and had pretended his father didn’t exist. The only person he kept in contact with was Henry, and that was because Henry had refused to give up on him. Only when Henry informed him that the small house he’d grown up in was now his—and mentioned that his doctor had been cautioning him to cut back on his seventy-hour workweeks—did Mark decide to return.
So, here he was. Two years later, but it felt like everything he’d been running from had happened just yesterday.
After locking up the last greenhouse tight, Mark squinted at the sun. He was going to be in for a long night. There was no way he was going to be able to simply walk around his house, yet again, dodging memories of his father. Knowing that his father was gone forever, and that nothing between them had ever been resolved, was hard to swallow. He supposed he’d always held out a sliver of hope that his father would one day seek him out and ask for his forgiveness. But that had never happened.
So, going home right away was out.
Instead, he would walk over to the salvage market, pick up a couple of things in the sale aisle, and stop by the library. Or maybe he would go to Bill’s Diner. He’d been avoiding that place, knowing he’d see a lot of people in the community there. But perhaps it was time.
“You got everything locked up tight?” Henry asked when Mark walked back inside.
“Jah,” he replied as he handed Henry his keys. “Everything is locked and the hoses are all off. I checked each one like you asked me to.”
“Would you like to join me for supper? I’ve got some leftovers from last night’s taco casserole.”
Henry was a huge fan of creating his own casseroles out of leftovers in his refrigerator. After choking down something called pork chop surprise, Mark had sworn never to eat another one of Henry’s suppers again. “Danke, but I thought I might go to the diner. It’s liver-and-onion night. Want to join me?”
Henry grimaced. “I’ll pass, son. No matter how I’ve tried, I never could abide it. You enjoy your meal, though, and I’ll see ya at eight tomorrow, right?”
Mark nodded. “I’ll be here.”
Henry peered over the rims of his glasses at him. “I’ll be here, too, son. See you then.”
CHAPTER 3
August 4
What do you think about going to Bill’s tonight, Neeta?” her mother asked practically the moment Waneta walked in the back door. “They’ve got a mighty good special for supper. Liver and onions!”
It took everything she had not to grimace. “It’s been an awfully long day, Mamm. I was hoping to stay here and relax.”
“But Daed and I have been sitting here all day, practically just watching the hands on the clock move around. We were hoping to get out a bit.”
“Oh, Mamm.” Waneta hid a smile. Her mother might have been watching the clock, but Daed had most likely been far more interested in his new book or napping. After his last “episode”—which he seemed to have taken in stride, but which scared her mother and Waneta half to death—Daed was put on several new heart medicines, and they were taking a toll on him. Some days he seemed to be able to tolerate them just fine; other times, they didn’t seem to agree with him at all. Except for his biweekly attendance at church, he rarely left the house anymore. He said his body simply preferred being comfortable in his easy chair.
Which was why Waneta knew that her father had definitely not been the clock-watcher parent that day. It had been her mother, who was still the most social member of their little family.
“Mamm, how did you find out it was liver-and-onion night at Bill’s?”
“Ruth stopped by around three. She said she was going around five thirty, before the supper rush.” Looking a little winsome, she added, “I believe Faith is going, too.”
Her mother, Ruth, and Faith were best friends. As far as Waneta could surmise, they’d been best friends practically since birth. Ruth was married and lived just down the street; Faith’s husband passed away almost five years ago.
All three had been new brides together and, later, new mothers. Still, whenever they got together, they acted like silly girls. They’d gossip and laugh, plan future meetings and work on sewing projects.
In short, they were lovely women. Devout and kind. Sweet and fun. But they also had the difficult habit of encouraging Neeta’s mamm to do things that weren’t possible—and rarely offering her a way to do them.
“Mamm, next time Ruth mentions that she’s going out to supper, you ought to ask if you could go with her.”
Her mother’s eyes brightened, but she shook her head. “I couldn’t leave your father,” she whispered. Well, tried to whisper. Her mother had never really mastered that art.
“Sure, you could,” Daed barked from his easy chair.
Waneta chuckled. “See?”
“But I don’t want him to be lonely.”
“He won’t be lonely if you leave him for an hour or two to enjoy a meal with your friends at the diner, Mamm. He’ll be okay. Plus, I’m home now. I’m going to have supper with him.”
“You don’t think we could get your father to go out to supper? It might be good for him.”
“I’m fine, Gettie,” he called out.
Waneta knew this was hard for her mother, this first time of leaving him home while she went out. However, she also knew that her mother was going to have to get used to doing things like this. Norman Cain’s health wasn’t going to get better; the doctors told the three of them that in no uncertain terms.
Gently, Waneta said, “You know Daed doesn’t like to eat in public anymore. His hands shake. And he is tired by five or six each evening.”
“But—”
“Mamm, like I said, I’m tired, too. I worked all day. I don’t want to take Daed out to eat. I’m sorry.”
Mamm swallowed hard. “Nothing to be sorry about, dear. You are right. I shouldn’t make such a fuss about such things anyway.”
Making a decision, Neeta turned to the bench by the back door where her mother had set her purse for as long as she could remember. Picking it up, she handed it to her mother. “It’s almost five thirty. I bet neither Ruth nor Faith has started walking to Bill’s Diner yet. Go down and ask Ruth if you can walk with her.”
Her eyes widened. “I couldn’t do that! It is rude.” But even as she said the words, she reached for her bag.
“It might be rude if you didn’t know those women so well, but you know them practically better than me,” Waneta teased. “Go on, Mamm. Go enjoy a nice supper out. I promise, Daed and I will be happy to relax together.”
Though she was still clutching her black leather purse like a lifeline, her mother glanced into the living room. “Do you think he’ll feel secretly sad that I’m leaving him?”
“I won’t!” he called out.
“He’s going to be as glad as I am that he’s not eating liver and onions, Mamm. Go, now.”
Her mother walked toward the door. “Maybe I’ll bring you both some slices of pie.”
“Danke. I will enjoy that. Pie will taste gut.” Waneta made a shooing motion with her hands. “Say hello to Ruth and Faith for me!”
With a
new set to her shoulders, Gettie walked out the door. Watching from the window, Waneta felt a lump form in her throat. This must have been what her mother felt when she had walked to school for the first time on her own. Waneta had felt both pride and a bit lost.
Change was hard.
When her mother was out of sight, Neeta went to check on her father. He had the paper opened on his lap, his reading glasses perched on his nose, and an amused expression on his face.
“That was quite an accomplishment there, daughter. I’m proud of you.”
“You thought it was the right thing to do, too, jah?”
“Of course I did. Your mother worries too much.”
“She loves you.”
“I love her, too, which is why I’m pleased she got out of here for a bit. It’s good for her.”
“She’ll have a nice time with Ruth and Faith.”
He nodded. “I’ll get a break, too. Your mother fusses over me all day long. Even when I’m sleeping.” Looking mildly aggrieved, he added, “You know, she never has gotten the hang of whispering.”
“Faith’s daughter Grace once told me that her parents thought that Mamm would have made a great preacher, if women did such things. Her voice can sure carry.”
“No one would ever sleep during her sermons. Ain’t so?”
Perching on the chair next to him, she joked, “We might want to mention that to Preacher Eli next time he comes to call.” Sharing a smile with him, she said, “Anyway, I’m glad Mamm went. She really loves liver and onions.”
“Indeed, she does. But her going out wasn’t about liver, child. It was about becoming a little bit more independent. It needed to be done.” That smile was replaced by a look that was far more reflective. Maybe a little wistful, too. “It was time, don’tcha think?”
How could a question like that hurt so badly? Especially when she’d just been thinking the very same thing? Wordlessly, she nodded.
“What are you going to make me for supper, child?”
Even though she’d already told him, she said it again. “I thought I’d make some chicken, potatoes, and broccoli. Does that sound okay?”
“It sounds just fine, dear,” he said as he closed his eyes. “Wake me up when it’s ready.”
Getting to her feet, Waneta walked to the kitchen, opened the refrigerator, and pulled out the package of chicken.
Around her, the house was dim and silent. Warm, even with the windows being open.
It was a summer evening. The kind, when she was a child, that she loved.
She’d loved spending the majority of each day in bare feet. Loved the feel of the sun on her skin; loved the air filled with the scent of freshly cut grass and her mother’s roses.
But just like the seasons, her childhood had passed. She now had responsibilities and new worries. Things that only adults should worry about.
Things like her father’s failing health, her mother’s tentativeness about her looming independence. And, she supposed, her new coworker.
Why had God placed Mark in her life? What did He want her to do? Perhaps just as importantly, she needed to figure out what she wanted to do about him. Did she want to continue to keep him at a distance, doing her best to keep her conversation, and smiles, to a minimum? Or, did she need to grow up and remember that he deserved her compassion and kindness as much as anyone else in Hart County?
That was a lot to think about as she sliced potatoes and prepared the simple meal.
To her surprise, Waneta was still thinking about Mark when her mother came home, as she sat in her quiet room—and long after she would have been fast asleep. Unable to stop herself, she continually replayed their conversations in her head and wondered how she could have acted differently.
Suddenly, it all made sense. The Lord wanted her to make amends. To change her attitude toward Mark. She shouldn’t have acted so distant toward him. She should have talked to him more, looked him in the eye. She should’ve been a whole lot nicer.
That was why she hadn’t been able to think about hardly anything else.
Tomorrow, she resolved to try harder to be his friend.
CHAPTER 4
Friday, August 5
Neeta, I didn’t even tell you about the big news everyone was talking about last night,” Mamm said as she slid two fried eggs onto Waneta’s breakfast plate. Every morning without fail, her mother got up and fixed her a big breakfast. Just the way she had when she was a young girl.
Waneta couldn’t count the number of times she’d told her mother that there was no need to do such a thing anymore. But it was now apparent that, while it might not be necessary for Waneta, her mother needed to feel like she was still doing something to take care of her, even if it was in this small way.
Taking the plate from her, Neeta added toast and a slice of sausage, then quickly closed her eyes and gave thanks. When she opened her eyes again, her mother was bringing her a fresh cup of coffee.
“Here you are, dear. Piping hot with two teaspoons of sugar. Just the way you like it.”
After taking a grateful sip, Waneta smiled. “I don’t know how you do it, Mamm. Your kaffi always tastes better than mine.”
Her mother beamed. “That’s because someone else made it. Food made by other people always tastes better. That’s why people go to restaurants.”
“I think you may have a point, Mamm,” she said with a laugh. “So, what was your big news? You look like you’re about to burst.”
Taking the chair next to Waneta, her mother’s eyes lit up. “Mark Fisher was at the diner last night.”
“Oh?” Quickly, Waneta took a bite of toast before she lost her appetite.
“Oh, yes. At first I wasn’t sure who he was. But Ruth knew. She told me. And, she reminded me all about his attack on Bethany.” Wrapping her palms around her own cup of coffee, her mother said, “I can’t believe I had almost forgotten that. Why, I might have talked to him by accident!”
Never before had her mother’s penchant for gossip bothered her like it did at that minute. It also made her uncomfortably aware just how judgmental she’d been at work the day before. “Mamm, Mark was proven innocent. He had nothing to do with Bethany getting beat up so badly. You shouldn’t say such things.”
“But don’t you think the policemen got it wrong? Everyone who Ruth and Faith and I talked to last night think so.”
Waneta could just imagine the conversations that they had! “Oh, Mamm.”
Ignoring her moan, Mamm continued. “Just so you know, I think other people in town doubt his innocence, too. No one besides Lora, his server, said a word to him the whole time he was there. And I’m sure she only did because she didn’t have a choice.”
Neeta could just imagine how Mark had dealt with that. He’d probably borne the talk and glances like he had when James Eicher came into the store—with barely held stoicism. But underneath that? Now she knew, he had been hurting. What a horrible experience that must have been for him. He took himself out to supper after a long day of work, only to be treated like a pariah the whole time!
After praying last night and speaking to her mother now, Waneta was even more determined to show Mark a different side of herself. She might still be a little wary of him, but she certainly didn’t fear him. She’d never worried yesterday that he would harm her.
“I don’t think the policemen got it wrong,” she said slowly. “I think he was in the wrong place at the wrong time, or maybe someone just wanted him to be guilty because of his family. Or, who knows? All I do know is that his past isn’t any of our business. He grew up here, same as everyone else. We all need to give him the benefit of the doubt.”
Her mother’s happy smile faltered. “I must say I’m surprised. You sound awfully sure about this Mark Fisher, considering he’s practically a stranger to ya.”
“He’s not a stranger. As a matter—”
Her mother interrupted. “Well, maybe I am being rather harsh.” Frowning, she continued. “He was a sweet little boy,
now that I think about it. Always trying so hard to care for his little brother.”
“I had forgotten about that.”
“Me, too,” Mamm said as she stood up and poured herself a bowlful of cereal and milk.
Unlike Waneta and her father, her mother had always had a secret fondness for unhealthy breakfast options. She loved all kinds of children’s cereal, Apple Jacks being her absolute favorite. A close second were chocolate Pop-Tarts, though she tried hard never to buy them.
Pop-Tarts were a sure way to make her happy, though. Neeta remembered her father bringing them home from Walmart whenever Mamm was in a particularly bad mood. They always brightened her spirits.
So did, she realized, Apple Jacks.
Now was her chance to tell her mother about her new work relationship with Mark.
Waiting until her mother had a mouthful of sugary cereal, she said, “Mamm, I’ve got something to tell ya. I’m working with Mark now.”
Mamm set her spoon down and swallowed hard. “Say again?”
“Mr. Lehmann hired Mark.” When the line between her mother’s brows didn’t ease, Waneta said simply, “His first day of work was yesterday.”
“How do you feel about that?”
“To be honest, I was a little wary of him yesterday. But I feel better about him today. He seems nice enough.” Okay, that was kind of a stretch, but there was a good chance that he could be nice, if she was nice, too.
“What did your father say when you told him?”
“I didn’t tell him yet.”
“Why not?” A bit of nervousness entered her tone. “He might have a weak heart, but he would want to know who you are around all day long. He worries about you, you know.”
“I know.” Her father worried about her waiting on strangers at the greenhouse, and used to ask her all kinds of questions about who she’d talked to while at work. He would have wanted to talk about Mark, too. Probably for a good long time. She hadn’t been willing to do that. “I wasn’t ready to talk about Mark yet,” she said honestly.
His Guilt Page 2
