He stepped back from her and shoved his hands into the pockets of his jeans, his sandy brown curls dropping into his face as his shoulders slumped, though whether in shame or disappointment, she couldn’t quite tell. “Well, I don’t think I can just pretend that nothing happened here, Riss. I drove all night to come to your parents’ funeral. I proposed marriage, proposed uprooting my life so I could help you, and you turned me down. That’s a big deal.”
She wanted to cry. How had everything gotten so upside down and backward? She wasn’t supposed to be breaking up with Declan today. She wasn’t supposed to be seeing a lawyer today. She was supposed to be sitting in music theory learning about Neapolitan chords and harmonic minor scales, or something like that. She wasn’t supposed to be here.
She crossed her arms over her stomach, the waves of grief washing back over her. Only this time, they weren’t just for her parents or her old life; they were for Declan. “You proposed marriage because you wanted to protect me from how my life has to change. Nobody can protect me from that. In fact, I might even love you just for trying, but it won’t work. It can’t work.”
He was quiet for a long moment. “I always thought we would get married, Marissa. This is just a little sooner than I expected. That’s all.”
The vulnerability in those hazel eyes broke her heart, and for a moment, she wanted to say yes. She wanted to run to the courthouse and buy into this idea that marrying him would be the answer to all her problems: her loneliness, her fear, her hopelessness.
But even if she did, she would still wake up in this house tomorrow morning. Her dreams would still lay shattered next to her parents’ graves. She would still have to raise her siblings, provide for them, protect them. Her childhood would still be a distant memory.
No, she couldn’t make this decision in the haze of grief. Even if she felt interminably alone in the meantime.
She slid down to the floor, her knees close to her chest as she cried. It wasn’t fair.
Declan sat beside her, wrapped an arm around her shoulders and pulled her closer. She balled his t-shirt in her fists as they cried together.
She didn’t know how long they’d sat there before she wiped her eyes. From the look on Declan’s face, she knew it was over. Knew it had been over the moment she’d left the table to throw up after his proposal. She put a hand on his chest, the steady beating of his heart doing more to strengthen her for this ending than anything else could. “I wanted it to be you. I thought it would be you.”
He brushed the strand of her hair, which had fallen into her face, back behind her ear. “Me, too.”
Another wave of emotion threatened her as she looked up at him. “I just can’t right now. You understand?”
He nodded, his Adam’s apple bobbing as he tried to stay strong for her. “Yeah.”
Her heart felt like it was splitting in two as she finished what she had planned to say. “I wish I could promise I’d be ready, but I can’t guarantee that. And like you said, you can’t just ignore that I rejected you.” She exhaled as she looked at his t-shirt instead of his face. It would be so much harder to say this if she had to look into those caring eyes. “So, don’t wait for me to catch up, okay? Go find yourself a nice girl. You deserve that much.”
He caressed her cheek in his hand. “So do you.”
She broke again; the tears slipping down her cheeks as he pulled her back into a hug. His strong, sculpted arms squeezed her so tightly, she was almost afraid he would never let her go. Almost afraid that he would.
“I love you, Marissa Lambert.”
She reached up and kissed him one last time, wishing she could capture this moment and make it last forever. “I love you, too, Declan Pierce.”
Chapter One
Marissa
“You can’t sell Mom and Dad’s house.”
Marissa groaned as she tucked the cordless phone in the crook of her neck and sat down with her dinner. “Cassie, did you just hear yourself? You called it Mom and Dad’s house. Don’t you think it’s about time I was allowed to live my own life?”
Her sister huffed as Marissa took a bite of her chicken salad sandwich. “Marissa, I’m not saying you can’t have your own life, but you can do it without selling—”
Marissa waited for her sister to finish the sentence.
“Your house.”
Only moderately appeased, Marissa sighed. “It’s just Aiden and me Cass. There’s no reason that I should live in a house that’s over thirty-five hundred square feet with almost an acre of land.”
What she could save on utilities alone would be worth it when Aiden, who already had an insatiable appetite, became a teenager and started eating everything in sight.
“I thought you were going to get back into fostering. You said it was time for Aiden to have a little brother or sister.”
Marissa’s laugh was throaty and brittle. “That’s still the plan, but I’m not looking to foster six kids at the same time. Besides, the house just isn’t my style. I’m finally successful enough in my business that I can buy a house I like instead of trying to force myself to like a house I own.”
“Maybe you just need to update it.”
Marissa rolled her eyes. “You act like you haven’t been here in the last ten years. I have updated it. The bathrooms, the kitchen. I even replaced the roof last year. No, I talked to a realtor I trust, and he says I could get a good price for it in this market. I should have enough money for a good down payment on another house, a little something I can put into Aiden’s college fund, and even have something I can send to you, Garrett, and Steven.”
Memories of those first few years after her parents died brought a modicum of shame, and she grew quiet as they played in her mind. “I always wished I could have done more for you guys when you went off to college. Especially Garrett and Steven. I was just—”
“You were fine.” Cassie’s voice softened somewhat. “It’s not like Mom and Dad left us with nothing.”
Marissa swallowed, unsure if now was the moment to tell the truth. How their parents’ will was outdated enough that the kids had been supposed to go live with Aunt Stacy, who had died of an aneurysm three months earlier. The only way the extended family offered to help was to split up the siblings. Garrett and Steven would have moved to California with Uncle Darryl and his wife, Sam. Cassie would have moved to Georgia to live with their maternal grandparents.
As the oldest child of their parents, only barely over the age of eighteen, Marissa was the de facto executor of the will, and she’d opted instead to keep them all together. In their childhood home. And in so doing, she’d offended all the older relatives to the point of almost non-contact.
No. Except for the life insurance which had only covered the funeral expenses and a few debts, Marissa had been the only one breaking her back to make sure Cassie, Steven, and Garrett had what they needed.
Maybe she’d take some of the proceeds from the house sale and take Aiden to Disneyland like he’d been asking or on some other fun vacation. She deserved it.
Marissa sighed, unwilling to explain everything to her youngest sister. Let the woman believe that their parents had been well-prepared before their deaths. Let her idolize them. All that meant was that Marissa had done her job in protecting Cassie from the harsh reality of losing their parents so young. “Yeah.”
“What about Garrett and Steven? What did they say about you selling the house?”
A rock formed in the pit of Marissa’s stomach. “You know how it is. Garrett wouldn’t take my call, just sent me a text message that he trusted my judgment, and Steven—well, Steven wants to go over Mom and Dad’s will to make sure I’m allowed to sell it, or at least make sure the proceeds from the sale are split fairly.”
It was hard to imagine, but at one point, they’d all been close. Now that Marissa had spent over a decade as her siblings’ guardian, that close relationship was splintering. Maybe even irreparable.
Cassie was quiet, probably mulling over
her own perspective of the family issues. Maybe just trying to be impartial as she was the one family member everyone was still on relatively good terms with. “Well, don’t list it until I know for sure I don’t want it.”
Marissa scoffed as she took another bite of her sandwich. “You? Back here in Denver? What does Dan think of all that?”
Cassie was silent, and Marissa’s instincts went on alert. “Cassie? I get nervous when you get quiet like that.”
“Dan’s ancient history.”
Marissa’s eyes almost fell out of her head. “Since when?”
“Since I caught him making out with the physical therapist in the supply closet.”
“Yeesh. When was that?”
Cassie’s voice was subdued. “Right before I got off shift at the hospital yesterday.”
Marissa let her gaze drift down to the table. No wonder Cassie hadn’t been as understanding about the house as Marissa had expected. Talk about having the rug pulled out from under you. “I know you were hoping for a ring.”
Her sister’s flippant tone was back. “Hey, I’m over it. Better to know now than when I’ve got a couple extra mouths to feed, right?”
Marissa frowned, her gut telling her that there was no way anyone could be that okay after such a painful end to a two-year relationship. Even in Marissa’s past, there were a few exes she looked back on with regret. Not that she wasn’t happy with the way her life had turned out, just that she wished things had ended differently. Better. “That’s one way to look at it, I suppose.”
“Anyway, I’m reevaluating things. You wanting to sell Mom and Dad’s house just gives me a reason to consider Denver.”
Marissa raised an eyebrow, about to make a comment before her sister threw in a quick addendum.
“Well, besides you and Aiden, that is.”
Marissa smiled. “I was going to say.”
Marissa took a bite of her sandwich in the conversation's lull.
Cassie cleared her throat. “Speaking of Aiden, how does he feel about moving?”
The boy had asked all the questions Marissa couldn’t answer right now. Where would we live? Would I go to a new school? Could I still play with my friends? “I told him it was something I was thinking about, but that’s as far as we got. I think just that much freaked him out more than he can handle right now.”
The poor kid had woken up every night this week with nightmares that Marissa had left him behind, like a forgotten piece of luggage in the attic. Ironically, that had made Marissa even more sure that this was the right move. Taking Aiden with her to a new house would be hard, but she hoped it would pay dividends in helping the boy realize she wasn’t just another foster mom. They were legally and emotionally bound as mother and son.
Shoving the pain that came with her child’s anguish, Marissa stood and put her plate in the dishwasher. “I wasn’t planning on listing the house until about Memorial Day to give Aiden time to get used to the idea and to purge the junk we’ve accumulated over the years. So, you have the next two months to decide if you want to be a contender. Once you tell me for sure that you want to consider it, I’ll send over what the realtor thought would be a good asking price.”
She waited for her younger sister to put up a fuss about having to buy the house, prepared with an argument about how complicated things would get with Garrett and Steven if they didn't handle things this way.
Fortunately, her sister didn’t protest. “So, you’re really set on leaving?”
Marissa rested one hand on the kitchen sink and looked out over the backyard. Would she ever not feel like she was standing in place of her mother as she washed the dishes and checked the yard for Aiden or his friends like she’d once watched Cassie and her friends play? “It’s time for me to leave home, Cass. Just like the rest of you.”
SPRING FADED INTO SUMMER in the blink of an eye between tax season and the end of the school year, and before Marissa knew it, she’d signed the papers to list her house with a real estate firm. Even Cassie had to admit that the house, though chock full of memories, was too big for one person to live in.
Marissa moved a giant trash bag full of old clothes and toys out of the small storage room she was clearing as something flashed in the corner of her eye. “Aiden, what are you doing down there? Your aunt Cassie will be here any minute.”
The eight-year-old popped up from behind a stack of boxes. “This is like a treasure hunt. How come I didn’t know we had so many cool things?”
Marissa chuckled. Leave it to a preadolescent boy to find adventure in a room full of junk. “Anything in particular catch your eye?”
“Yeah. Just a sec.”
Aiden raced back into the room, undoubtedly bobbing and weaving through stacks of boxes and bags of thrift store donations to find some decades-old trinket he would beg her not to throw away.
Eh, as long as it wasn’t something gross, she’d probably let him keep it. Something to help him hold on to the wonderful memories in this house.
He soared into the room, a black brown canvas carrying case in one hand.
Her heart leapt into her throat as she caught sight of the case. It couldn’t be.
He set the box on the floor and went about trying to open it. “My teacher showed us one of these last year. I think it’s a violin.”
Marissa tensed. “Yeah, but—”
Aiden didn’t look at her as the doorbell rang. “Do you know how to play?”
Marissa looked up the stairs, distracted by the unexpected sound. “Aiden, put that away and go upstairs.”
“But—”
Marissa’s brain felt muddled. She could have sworn she’d gotten rid of that years ago. What was it doing in the basement storage room? “Aiden, go upstairs, please.”
He rolled his eyes before he walked away from the instrument. “Whatever.”
The doorbell rang again, and Marissa took another glance at the instrument, lying on the ground as innocuous as any other object. Except it wasn’t her old basketball or one of the silly toys she’d lost track of through the years.
It was her violin. The embodiment of all the hopes and dreams she’d shelved so she could take care of her siblings.
The door opened, and Cassie’s voice floated through the house. Marissa picked up the case and set it on top of the piano, out of the way but not out of mind. She’d have to deal with the violin some other time.
She felt like an instant slob when she emerged from the basement. Dressed in a pair of athletic shorts and one of the t-shirts the PTA sold to parent volunteers who worked field day, Marissa was prepared for the dust bunnies which would undoubtedly come as she tackled the boxes in the basement. Cassie, however, looked carefully put together in a pair of dark wash jeans, red stiletto heels, a subtly white printed shirt and a navy blue blazer. As if that weren’t enough, her oversized sunglasses atop her expertly curled strawberry blond waves put Marissa’s slipping chestnut ponytail to shame.
Still, Marissa opened her arms to her sister, and Cassie eagerly returned the embrace. “Hey, there.”
“Hi, Cassie. Good to see you. How was your flight?”
Cassie rolled her eyes as she pulled away from her sister. “What is it about me that attracts the most irritating travel companions?”
Marissa chuckled, the violin all but forgotten if not for Aiden’s glare. “I didn’t know you had a streak of irritating travel companions.”
Marissa guided her sister into the kitchen where Cassie sat at the kitchen table while Marissa attended the dishes she’d gotten distracted from cleaning. “So, I’m traveling from Dallas to Denver, right? Doesn’t seem like it’s going to be that big of a deal because it’s a two-hour direct flight.”
Marissa rinsed off Aiden’s mac and cheese plate and stuck it in the dishwasher. “Yeah, it’s not that bad.”
“Until I’m stuck in the middle seat between this teenage knitting hipster queen and this macho bodybuilder.”
Marissa smiled. “That paints a vivid picture.�
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Cassie took a sip from a disposable water bottle that must have been tucked into her purse. “Yeah, and that’s just your imagination. It was worse in person. So, because it’s been a bit of a busy day with field day injuries and summer fun, I think hey, I’ll just put in my earbuds and take a nap. I mean, you know how we always reminisce into the wee hours of the morning on my first night, anyway.”
Marissa nodded, remembering the half-dozen flights she’d taken over the years. “And you can get out of almost any awkward airplane experience by taking a nap.”
Cassie gestured toward her. “Thank you. That’s exactly what I was thinking. Except Mr. Universe decides he’s going to make a move on me.”
Marissa raised an eyebrow. “A move?”
Cassie nodded. “Oh yeah. He leans in close and flexes his biceps and says something about how these guns make great pillows if you need them.” She rolled her eyes. “I mean, puh-lease.”
Marissa waited a moment for the rest of the story. “So?”
Cassie took another sip of water as she removed the sunglasses and dropped them in her purse. “Oh, that’s about the time I flagged down a flight attendant and paid the up charge for business class.”
Though she didn’t dare laugh out loud given how seriously her sister told the story, Marissa let amusement play on her lips. “You don’t suffer fools gladly, do you?”
Cassie grinned. “Would I be the sister you know and love if I did?”
Marissa pretended to think about it for a moment. “Well, you were the one who diagnosed your doll with a fractured clavicle when you were nine, so no.”
Sweethearts Old Page 2
