He blinked and tried to shove down his anticipation, but it was no good. He couldn’t wait to make her his.
“Gabe? You out here?”
He looked to the barn door where his mother stood.
“What do you need, Mamm?”
She smiled, her face split with the fullness of it. “I’m sewing your wedding shirt, son. I’m needing you to try it on.”
His wedding shirt. He grinned back. “I’ll come right in. And thanks, Mamm. For sewing it.”
She looked surprised at his thanks. “Who else would be sewing it for you? It’s my place.”
“Still…”
She stepped back as he joined her at the barn door. “Honor is a blessed girl to be getting you for her husband.”
His cheeks warmed at her compliment. It wasn’t like his mother to be handing out such words. “Thank you.”
She shrugged. “Just telling the truth, son.”
They walked back to the big house together.
“It’ll be gut to have someone in the daadi haus again,” his mother said. “I haven’t liked it being empty.”
“I know. I miss Mammi. Daadi, too.”
“We all do.” Tessie Chupp sniffed. “But now, the four of you will be out there. I’m glad Honor’s folks will be staying, too. And it won’t be long before we hear the patter of little feet out there.”
Gabe’s face went even hotter, and his mother laughed. “Ach, Gabe. Don’t worry. It’ll all be in Gott’s timing.”
They reached the side door and went inside. Gabe stepped out of his boots and went into the sewing room. There were half-finished garments on every surface. His mother had decided that they all needed new clothes for the wedding.
“Here you are,” she said, picking up the plain white shirt. “I think it’ll fit just fine, but I want to check and be sure.”
Gabe slipped out of his work shirt and tried on the crisp new one. It fit perfectly, which didn’t surprise him in the least. “It’s fine, Mamm.”
She smiled and nodded. “That it is. Now take it back off. I don’t want it getting dirty.”
“I ain’t dirty.” He laughed.
“You just came in from the barn. I ain’t taking any chances.”
He gazed about at the other clothing. “You’re doing a whole lot of work.”
“Jah, I am. Just like I want to. Them Kennels are doing most of the work, what with hosting the ceremony. And you didn’t give us much time now, did you?”
“Honor would be moving. It would have been hard for me to court her way up north from here.”
Tessie laughed. “That it would.” She gave him a tender look. “My first boy getting married. I couldn’t be happier. Both your dat and me. We couldn’t be happier.”
“Nor could I,” Gabe whispered and then flushed with embarrassment. “I, uh, I’ll be back outside if you need me.”
Chapter Three
Honor fumbled through her chores in a stupor. She watched herself work in the kitchen as if she weren’t even there. She became mechanical—like one of those toy robots the Englisch children liked to play with. Her mind couldn’t focus, and she was grateful. She couldn’t think about what she’d done. About what her father refused to do. She couldn’t think about her wedding in one more week. She couldn’t think about Gabe’s happy face, his eager demeanor, his tender gazes. But she did think about it. She couldn’t stop thinking about it.
Gabe loved her.
She had no doubt of it. But she didn’t love him. She didn’t not love him. She just didn’t feel anything more than a general fondness. What in the world was she to do? She’d made a promise to him. Everything was well under way. Her mother had been working frantically to get everything ready for this wedding.
And everyone but her—except maybe her cousin Willa—was thrilled. No one suspected that she wasn’t crazy about Gabe. No one suspected that she had set this entire thing in motion so that she and her family could stay in Hollybrook.
Willa knew, of course. And maybe now her mother was suspicious.
Honor let out her breath and stopped peeling the large potato in her hand. What had she been so afraid of? Why had she been so driven to stay put? People moved. They changed homes all the time. She shook her head. That wasn’t exactly true in her Amish world. Generations often lived in the same house. Yet, Amish people did move. Maybe not as often as the Englisch, but still, it happened.
What was wrong with her that she’d been so afraid? She’d never been a fearful person. Not really. She was acting more like her cousin, Willa. But even Willa had taken a big chance when she’d fallen in love with Collin Keim. And it had worked out for them.
Just like if she had moved up north, it would have worked out for her.
She swallowed and blinked back her tears. It was too late now. Everything was well under way, and she could hardly back out now. She couldn’t do that to her family, or Gabe’s family, or Gabe.
Gabe. Gabe. Gabe. If you really knew the whole truth of it. She continued peeling the potato and then sliced it up and dropped it into the pan of boiling water. She would mash the cooked potatoes later, she thought, attempting to turn off her thoughts of the wedding. But it didn’t work. Oh, she wanted to run away and hide somewhere.
She squared her shoulders. No. She would never do that. She had made a promise, and she would keep it. It was their way.
“You not done with them potatoes yet?” her mother asked, coming into the kitchen.
“Almost.”
Her mother came and stood beside her, watching her peel another potato. “Honor?” she said quietly.
“Jah?”
“Are you all right?”
Honor sucked in her breath. “Of course.”
“Are you nervous about the wedding?”
“Nee.” Nervous didn’t come close to describing what she felt.
“Are you worried…” her mother audibly gulped, “about the wedding night?”
Honor’s cheek flamed with heat. She shook her head vigorously. “Nee, Mamm. I’m fine. A bit tired, maybe.”
Her mother sighed with clear relief. “Oh. You’re tired, then?”
“Jah.”
Her mother touched her elbow. “Thank you, Honor. For trying to keep your dat and me in Hollybrook. It was right sweet of you.”
Honor bit her lip.
“I wish your dat would agree, but his mind is set. It’s a comfort, though, to know that you’ve found Gabe, and you get to stay.”
Honor nodded, not trusting her voice.
“In truth, I think your dat is looking forward to his new job. He says he don’t have to count on the weather anymore.”
Honor stared at her mother. “He’s … he’s glad to be moving.”
Sandra shrugged. “Maybe not glad exactly. But I don’t think he’s dreading it.”
Honor wanted to cry out. She had assumed that her father would rather go lame than to give up farming. She had been wrong. So, so wrong. Why, oh why, hadn’t she heeded Willa’s warnings? Why had she gotten so angry when Willa tried to talk sense into her?
There was a knock at the door.
“I’ll get it,” Sandra said, leaving the room.
Honor finished peeling the next potato and was cutting it up when her mother returned. “Gabe’s here,” she said. “He’s wanting to talk to you. I’ll finish up the potatoes.”
Honor blew out her breath and ran her hands under the faucet and dried them on the hand towel. Then she went into the front room. Gabe was standing in front of the warming stove, his straw hat in his hands. He smiled tenderly at her when she came into the room.
“Hello, Honor,” he said, his eyes shining.
She swallowed. “Hello, Gabe.”
“It seems right strange to be talking to you here. You know, where anyone can see us.”
She nodded, wishing they were still at the beginning of their courtship when everything was secret and hidden. If so, she’d have time to cut it off…
“But I’m g
lad. It won’t be long now,” he said, still smiling. Goodness, but his mouth was big. “I, well, I have something for you.”
She raised her brow. “Oh?”
“You’ll have to come to our daadi haus to see it.”
“Why? What is it?”
He grinned with such pleasure that her chest hurt. “Just come. Can your mamm spare you?”
Honor nodded. “I’ll let her know I’m leaving.”
Chapter Four
A few minutes later, Honor was in the buggy with Gabe. Get used to this, she thought. You and Gabe will be in this buggy together thousands of times from here on in.
“I’ve been all over the district,” Gabe said. “I don’t think I’ve missed anyone with the wedding invitations.”
“That’s gut,” Honor said woodenly.
He gave her a swift glance. “Uh, how are the preparations going?”
“We don’t have enough celery,” she blurted out. Creamed celery was an honored wedding dinner tradition in Hollybrook—well, in many Amish communities, for that matter. When families suspect an upcoming wedding, they plants rows and rows of it in the spring. But since she and Gabe were breaking tradition by getting married in the spring, there wouldn’t be enough celery.
“Oh.” He turned sober. “I’m sorry, Honor. But we couldn’t wait. I can’t bear the thought of you leaving Hollybrook even for a day.”
She swallowed past the rock in her throat. “I talked with Dat and Mamm…”
“About them living with us.” He was back to smiling again, his wide mouth stretched across his face. “I’m right glad they’re going to be with us. I’m right glad we can do this for them.”
“They’re leaving.”
His smile faded. “What do you mean?”
“I mean, they’re going up north. To Baker’s Corner.”
“But, what about living with us? You told me they didn’t want to move.”
“I was wrong. It seems Dat is eager to leave.” She was exaggerating and her tone had turned caustic, but right then, she couldn’t help it.
Gabe pulled the buggy into a wide patch at the side of the road. He rested the reins in his lap and turned to face her.
“You’re sure?”
“I have ears, don’t I?” Her voice was hard and remorse flooded her. “I’m sorry. I, well, I never expected this.”
He gave a low whistle. “Neither did I. Mamm and Dat will be disappointed, I think.”
“I’m disappointed.” She fought against the tears surging up her throat.
He reached over and put his arm around her. “Of course, you are. I’m so sorry.”
She should lean into him, shed tears on his shoulder. Isn’t that what a newly engaged girl would do? But she didn’t move. She stared straight ahead through her tears.
“At least, you don’t have to leave,” he whispered, patted her shoulder awkwardly. “You get to stay. We’ll be together.”
She licked her lips and willed her tears to stop. “Jah,” she said, forcing warmth into her voice. “We’ll be together.”
He drew her close with his strong arm, pressing her against his side. “I’m so happy, Honor. Just a week more, my … love.”
She blinked hard at his endearment, but kept her expression still. This was wrong. So wrong. All of it. She needed to stop it right there and then. It was going to be too late.
“I’m eager for you to see what I have for you.”
What he had for her? So, she was going to see a gift? She bit her lip. She didn’t want him giving her anything. This was already completely out of hand.
“Come on,” he said, releasing her and picking up the reins. He snapped them on the horse’s rump, and the buggy lurched forward.
Honor was quiet the rest of the way, but her mind was whirling. Perhaps, when they were in the daadi haus, she could tell him. Tell him this was all a mistake. But even as she thought so, she doubted she could do it.
He pulled around the main house, back to the daadi haus. He stopped the buggy, and they got out. He hurried up the steps to the porch and stood there, waiting for her. When she joined him, he pulled open the screen door and pushed through the main door. She followed him inside. The air was warm and she saw that he had laid a fire in the warming stove. So, he’d prepared everything for her visit.
She glanced around the combination kitchen and front room area. When her eyes reached the far corner, she froze.
“Do you like it?” he asked, his voice animated. “I just got it finished.”
She stared at the grandfather clock. She watched its pendulum swing methodically from side to side. The wood gleamed and she could instantly tell just how much love had gone into its creation.
“I ordered the insides from Wisconsin,” he said. “They took longer than I’d planned to get here. But it’s done now. Do you like it?”
She walked across the room until she stood in front of the clock. She reached out and caressed the smooth wood. It was the most magnificent grandfather clock she’d ever seen. Tears burned in her eyes. He’d made this for her.
“I had help,” he told her, standing at her elbow. “I borrowed some tools from Matthew Yoder. And he helped me some.”
Grandfather clocks were a fairly normal gift for a groom to give his bride. Oftentimes, they were given in place of a ring. But their courtship and engagement had been so quick that Honor had expected neither. The clock took her breath.
“It chimes on the hour and the half hour. It’s not too loud, though, so it shouldn’t bother you none. You want to hear it?”
She nodded.
He opened the glass front and fiddled with something near the face of the clock. A beautiful two-toned chime filled the room.
“You like it?” his expression was so hopeful that she barely suppressed a sob.
“It’s beautiful,” she whispered, her voice catching.
He put his hand on her shoulder. “I hoped you would love it. I, well, I really hoped you would love it,” he repeated. “And I’m sorry about your folks. I thought for sure they’d be happy here. With us.”
He looked around the room. “It’s not as big as the front house, but it’s not bad-sized. There’s the upstairs, too, you know. You want to see it?”
There was no way in the world Honor could call this wedding off. It would break Gabe’s heart, and she couldn’t bear it. In time, she would grow to love him. Of course, she would. Why, a few years from now, she’d be perfectly happy with Gabe and she would wonder at her hesitation.
He leaned close, and his breath tickled her face. He pressed his lips to her cheek, and she wanted to step back, but she didn’t dare move. She couldn’t hurt his feelings, and his kiss was sweet, and so was his gift. She remained still. So still, it was as she weren’t a living being.
“Honor?”
She blinked rapidly. “Jah, Gabe?”
“You all right?”
She nodded. “Of course. I’m fine. Let’s go see the rest of the house.”
He smiled again, but there was hesitation in his eyes. He was doubting her—she could see it. But he said nothing. He wouldn’t—he was too polite. Or maybe he was fearful. Did he suspect her true feelings? Did he know she wasn’t in love with him? Part of her wished he would take her by the shoulders and demand the truth. That he would force the truth out of her and then grab her tightly and kiss her on the mouth over and over.
She would fall for a man who did that.
But Gabe did none of those things. He merely stood aside and let her lead the way upstairs.
* * *
The upstairs was as Honor thought it would be. The only surprise was that there was a bathroom up there, too. Two bathrooms in one house. How unusual, but how welcome. Not that they’d need them now since her folks weren’t coming. How could she have read her father so incorrectly? How could she have made such a mistake? She should have broached her plan immediately. Should have asked them from the beginning whether they’d want to stay with her and Gabe or not.
>
She’d just assumed they would want to. In fact, she thought they’d be relieved. Ecstatic even.
And she could be the hero. She slumped against the first bedroom’s door frame. Was this what it was really about? That she wanted to be the hero? The one who saved her family? A bitter taste sprang across her tongue, and she blinked hard. What was the matter with her? Was she so shallow as to play with people’s lives so that she would come out shining?
She closed her eyes in disgust. God must be highly displeased with her. She was highly displeased with herself.
“I thought this room could be ours,” Gabe said softly behind her. “Do you like it?”
She opened her eyes and surveyed the room. A double bed stood against one wall, a chest of drawers opposite it. Pegs ran around the top half of the wall on the west side of the room. There was a braided rug at the side of the bed. White linen curtains hung at the one window which looked out over the front of the house. Although, most of the view of the yard was blocked by the big house out front.
“J-jah,” she stammered. “It’s right nice.”
She stared at the bed. The bed where she and Gabe would sleep. Gabe was staring at her. He stepped close and put his arm around her shoulders.
“Are you frightened?” he asked, his voice low.
She stiffened. “Nee. Nee. I’m fine.”
“It’s all right, you know,” he said. “I’m a bit frightened, too.”
She looked at him. He was frightened, too? Why had he told her? She didn’t want to know.
“I’m fine,” she repeated. She moved out from under his arm and went to the window. “I can see the oak tree from here.”
And she could. There was a massive oak tree next to the barn. She had wondered more than once why it hadn’t been cut down since it was so close to the barn. But she was glad it hadn’t been. It looked majestic out there, and she was sure by the whisper of green on its branches that its leaves were beginning to bud out.
Honor's Wedding (Hollybrook Amish Romance) Page 2
