by Avery Wilde
I found him in his study, looking over a stack of newspapers as he sat behind his desk. He looked up in surprise when I entered, waving off his personal assistant and getting her to shut the door. “Congratulations on your success last night,” he said, pushing the paper toward me. “I would say you have turned over a new leaf, Edward. I am proud of you, son.”
I looked down at the paper, and my stomach clenched as I took in the picture of Rose and me dancing, taking in the way we were both looking at each other in that one special moment. Fake engagement or not, any blind fool could see that we were in love.
“She left me,” I spat out, the words finally hitting me with the full force of a hurricane. I already missed the hell out of her, like someone had cut off my right arm. We’d been together so much over the last few weeks that it felt weird not to have her by my side. I would seek to remedy that soon, but I needed answers first.
“W-what?” my father asked, surprise on his face. “She left you?”
“Because you, Andrew and Grandfather can’t stay out of my damn personal life,” I growled, pushing the paper away. “I lost the woman I love because my family wants me to be miserable and can only ever think of themselves and their damned reputation. I am not going to live up to your expectations, Father. Not now, not ever. I am not going to be Andrew, and I am never going to be the king of England, so why the hell can’t I be left to be happy?”
He opened his mouth to speak, but nothing came out as I sat and waited.
“I don’t want you to be unhappy,” he finally said, lacing his fingers over his paunchy stomach. “I’ve always wanted the best for you. You and Andrew are the best things that have ever happened to me.”
“Then why not let me be?” I asked.
He shook his head, and I was surprised to see a glimmer of tears in his eyes. “I wish I could explain myself, Edward, but I will tell you a story instead. It seems fitting, given what you are going through right now, and perhaps I should’ve told you sooner. But I loved your mother, dearly. She was my sole existence. I know I must have asked her a million times to marry me, to run away with me. She refused me every single time with the same reasoning I suspect your Rose has given you. She felt like she wasn’t good enough, that somehow she was going to ruin the bloodline by being my wife, my princess, my future consort. I laughed it off at the time and told her it didn’t matter. We were going to be together and nothing could stop us. I was naïve.”
He cleared his throat and looked out of the window idly. “Your grandfather got involved, of course, once he found out. He didn’t want the line tainted. Only pure-bloods would do, he would say. He pushed woman after woman—only ones with titles of course, and a lineage that could be traced back. Your mother, she was livid and rightly so. But I was a coward; I couldn’t deny that my father was right. I had a duty to uphold. So we fought and she left, quit her job, and moved away far from me, though I did persuade her to see me a couple of time afterwards. And it was only after I married Agatha, with Andrew on the way, that I found out your mother was pregnant with you, too. I was heart-broken, Edward.”
I sat back, stunned at my father’s confession. All these years I thought she had just been a dalliance on the side. I never imagined that it had been love, and certainly not the kind of love that he was claiming. Mum never talked about him much, and given what I was feeling right now, I could understand why. It would’ve been like torture to hear his name, let alone talk about him to her son.
“When you came to the palace, I saw her in everything you did,” he continued, his eyes focusing on me. “Agatha hated the fact that you were here because you reminded her of the one thing I will never give her.”
“What’s that?” I asked softly.
“My heart,” he replied, reaching into a drawer on the desk. He handed over a well-worn picture. I recognised both of them immediately, the picture much like the one that was on the front page of the paper this morning. They were dancing, the look of love between them so sharp that anyone would have to be stupid to think otherwise. “Your mother was the only one who ever captured my heart. I suppose I do care for Agatha in some way—she, after all, gave me your brother, too—but nothing like the way I loved your mother.”
I handed the photo back to him, and he placed it back in the drawer, out of sight like the pain he had been carrying around all of these years. “So you know what I am going through then,” I said softly.
He nodded and turned back toward me with a sigh. “I know if I tell you that I haven’t changed my mind you are going to do something stupid like run off somewhere and cause an even bigger scandal. So I won’t. I see that I have been too hard on you, perhaps out of envy. Seeing you fight for someone like you are doing now, when I was too cowardly to do the same for your mother, well, I suppose it makes me feel ashamed. However, do know that if you go ahead and marry Rose, you will be stricken from the line of succession.”
“Thank God for that!” I said, glad to be rid of the cloud that hung over my head all of these years. “Not like I would have a chance anyway once Andrew finds someone and starts his own family.”
“Perhaps,” he said, as if he knew something I didn’t. “Edward, while I can’t give you my full blessing, I will continue to provide for you until you decide to tell me to stop,” he continued. “I’m also going to make sure the flat is signed over to you as a wedding present. And I will do my best to make sure the information that your brother found out about Rose is contained, or at least managed should it ever leak.”
“I, thanks,” I said, grateful of this sudden turnaround and change of heart. I believe I had my mother to thank for that. He wasn’t going to write me off; he was actually going to set me free instead. I had a new, healthy respect for my father, given what I now knew about his relationship with my mother. He was a man hurting, and it must’ve been excruciating to see me do what I pleased while he had to forgo the love of his life for duty. It was like I’d been pissing all over his sacrifice all these years. “Be assured, I don’t plan on living off you for the rest of my life. I will make you proud of me.”
“I know that,” he said, giving me an encouraging smile. “You’ve got a good thing going, Edward. Keep it up… and for the love of god, don’t fuck it up.”
“Yes, sir,” I laughed. I didn’t plan on doing anything close to that.
He regarded me, as if he were contemplating saying something that seemed to be troubling him. “You know I saw your mother practically every weekend after she was diagnosed, up until the day she died. We would travel to one of the residences, one far removed from the city.”
I thought about her mysterious trips that I’d never really thought to examine till my father mentioned them, the ones where I would stay with the kind old lady that lived not far from us who enjoyed feeding me junk food for the whole weekend. Mum had never told me where she was going, but when she returned on those Sunday evenings, she would have a dreamy smile on her face.
“We would sit and laugh, talk about you and the past. And every time before we went our separate ways, I would lean down and tell her how gorgeous she was and how much I still loved her.” My father’s smile dimmed, a pained look crossing over his face. “Even when she had lost her hair, and I knew it was going to be the last time I ever saw her lovely eyes, I told her those words. She never said them back—wanting to spare me, I think—but I knew she loved me. I knew she felt the same way. Those feelings were so precious to me and not the type to go away.” He wiped his eyes with the back of his hand, looking at me. “Don’t ever fail to tell that woman how much you love her every day, Edward. You never know; it might be your last.”
I cleared my throat then, a wealth of emotions bubbling up inside. “I’m glad you both found love, but I am so sorry that you couldn’t be together.”
“Me too,” he replied, looking out the window again. “Me too.”
I left him there, looking out the window as I went to do what my father could not.
24
Rose Mathis! If you don’t put down that tub of chocolate chip mint ice cream and get off your sorry ass, I am going to drag you out of this room by your hair.”
I sighed and dropped the spoon into the carton, giving my sister the eye. “I dare you to take this away from me.”
Harriet walked into my bedroom, her hands on her hips as she pointed at the carton I was holding possessively in my grip. “You are going to make yourself sick.”
“I don’t care,” I mumbled, looking down at the green, gooey mess. It was serving its purpose right now. For days I had waited, half hoping that Edward would arrive on his white horse and rescue the princess from her tower, declaring his love and pledging his heart. Okay, so it didn’t help that I’d been watching way too many Disney movies on Netflix, but I still secretly hoped it would happen.
“When are you going to quit moping over him, Rose? You said you were the one who ended it,” she said, sitting on the bed gently. “And god, you so need to wash your hair.”
“I’ve been washing it,” I grumbled, reaching to touch the wild nest it had become. I had just been sleeping on it wet, which always made it poof up. “What do you want?”
“Why did you leave him? I’m not going to take silence for an answer this time. Mum is frantic with all the secrecy, wondering why she can’t answer her phone.”
The pain lanced through my chest, and I set the carton on my bedside table, rubbing at my chest idly. I had asked myself the same thing over these past few days. Why would I leave the man I loved? Because I didn’t deserve him. Because I didn’t want to be the one to bring him to ruin, to have his life be stripped away from him because of my past. Edward deserved to be happy and to be finally accepted within his own family, which in light of his fundraising, was well under way.
“I have my reasons,” I finally said, my voice nearly breaking. I had cried out all of my tears over the past few days, and at some point I was going to have accept the fact that Edward and I were over.
Harriet sighed in frustration and laid a hand on my arm. “Come on, Rose. I’m your sister. You can tell me,” she said, trying the softer approach.
“His brother tried to blackmail me,” I forced out, thinking of the shame that my past had brought on. “He knows who my mum is.”
“That asshole,” Harriet swore. “It’s not your fault that your birth mum was the way she was. But we’re your family now, can’t they see that? And I wouldn’t change having you as a sister for the whole entire world.”
I gave my sister a faint smile, but knowing while what she said was true, it would still affect Edward and the royal family negatively if I stayed with him. My adopted mother had told me the truth when I was old enough to understand what she was saying, not hiding anything from me about how I came to this world. There had been tears shed of course on both ends, but at the end of our several long and involved talks over several months, I knew I was truly loved. They were the ones who had provided for me, who gave me an excellent life and loved me unconditionally.
But even though I was surrounded by love, my past would be the one piece of me I would never be able to outrun or alter.
Reaching over, I touched my sister’s hand. “I think he had his reasons, though. And I know, and I don’t regret it for one single day, either. But I can’t change the fact that I am the product of a druggie and a one-night stand. I can’t ruin Edward’s future.” No matter how much I wanted him in my life. I loved the man to distraction, and it was going to take a long time to get over him.
Harriet rose from the bed and shook her head, pity in her eyes. “I wish I could change your mind, Rose. In the pictures of you two, it’s obvious he loves you. You belong together.”
“I wish that were true,” I replied sadly. Harriet didn’t say anything but walked over to my closet and opened it. “What are you doing?”
“It’s Mum’s night, remember?” she said, pulling out a pair of jeans. “She will never forgive you if you don’t come to dinner and explain all this to her in person. She’s devastated, too, you know?”
“Oh god,” I moaned. I wasn’t ready to face her. I hadn’t talked to my mum, though her text messages had become rather insistent that I call her. Both Edward and I were out of the spotlight now, the tabloids none the wiser as to what was going on behind the scenes, though rumours were beginning to start. “I can’t face her right now.”
“You don’t have much of a choice,” Harriet shrugged, throwing me a shirt.
I sighed and caught the shirt. “Mum sent you over here, didn’t she?”
Harriet nodded and I groaned, burying my face into the soft cotton.
We drove up to my parents’ house and I climbed out of my sister’s car with trepidation in my veins. I knew that this dinner was going to be hard, especially with the questions that I was going to have to answer. By all accounts the media had no idea that our engagement was over, but it was going to be just a matter of time before I would have to go public and announce that it was off. I knew that Edward wasn’t going to do it unless his family forced him to, of course.
But first I had, no I needed to, explain it to my mum and my dad. With a sigh, I walked up the walkway to my parents’ house, opening the door to the familiar smells and sounds of the home I grew up in. There had been many times after knowing the truth about my past that I had wished I had been their natural-born child, but the older I got, the more it didn’t really matter. Legally and emotionally, they were, by all accounts, my parents.
“Mum?” I called into the house, the smells of her famous spaghetti wafting through the air. “You here?”
A shadow fell over me and I took a step back. “Holy shit!” I slapped a hand over my mouth and bowed my head in respect. “So sorry, Y-your Highness.”
“Ms. Mathis,” Edward’s father replied, inclining his head toward me. I could so see the resemblance in his face, like Edward was staring back at me. The future king of England was a handsome man, his salt-and-pepper hair giving him a fortuitous regal air and scaring me half to death in the process. Was he going to have me thrown into some windowless dungeon somewhere? I mean, he was in the position to do that sort of thing. “Your parents are very charming.”
“I, they had nothing to do with anything,” I blurted out, feeling protective toward my family. I would go to my death for them. “Please, don’t bring them into this.”
He lifted up his hand and shook his head, causing my protests to die down. “Ms. Mathis—Rose—your family is perfectly safe, I assure you. Though I did send them on a quick tour of the palace so that we could have a few moments of privacy. I believe your sister is on her way to pick them up now.”
I turned around and looked out, noticing that Harriet’s car was indeed gone from the front of the house. Damn her, she had set me up; I’d been betrayed by my own sister! But I bet my mum was on cloud nine right now in the palace. Swallowing hard, I turned back to one of the most important men in England, who was regarding me with his hands clasped behind his back, wondering why on earth he was in my parents’ house like it was an everyday occurrence. “Can we sit?” he asked politely.
I nodded and followed him in the living room, taking a seat on the nearby chair. He chose to sit on my mum’s floral couch, his hands clasped on his knees. “Sir,” I started.
“Call me Richard,” he said, his smile warmer than the last time we met. “After all, I believe you are to be my future daughter-in-law. I also believe I owe you an apology. I regret the things I said about you the first time we met.”
The tears rushed to my eyes, and I forced them away, not wanting to be a bubbling mess in front of him. “I’m afraid you are mistaken. Our engagement was a sham in order to preoccupy the press. We won’t be getting married, so no need to worry about the bloodline.” Realising what I had said, allowing my mouth to run wild, I gasped. “I’m so sorry, Your Highness.”
“No, no,” he laughed, looking more and more like the man I loved. My heart ached at the resembl
ance. “It is refreshing that you can be so candid with me, Rose. And yes, there was a time I was worried that I needed to have my sons marry well. But I have never treated Edward any differently because of his own bloodline. My son is a strong man, one who carries the weight of his illegitimacy on his shoulders.” The Prince of Wales then looked down at his hands, a strange look coming across his face. “Recently I told my son a love story about his mother and myself. I believe he understands now that I loved his mother up until the day she died and that he was a product of a great love, not an unwanted mistake.”
I smiled, glad that he and his father had been brought closer together. At least some good was to come out of all this.
“The funny thing was,” he continued, returning my smile, “Edward gave up his path to the throne, Rose, doing something that I was far too afraid of.”
“No,” I whispered, a funny feeling in my chest. “H-he can’t do that. He deserves to be in that position.”
“Yes he does,” his father admitted. “I believe that Edward would’ve made an excellent ruler, god forbid anything should happen to Andrew. But he doesn’t want it, and he never has. I see that now and accept it. I am very proud of my son, Rose, but I am more proud of the fact that he would give it all up for the woman he loves. I thought it was foolish at first, that he was skipping out on his duty, but of course it’s the opposite. And it’s more than I was willing to do for his mother.” He then looked at me, regret in his eyes. “I know all about why are you aren’t with Edward right now, and I apologise that you feel your own past will create some stain on our family. We royals tend to be horribly traditional when it comes to protecting our own, and we don’t think sometimes.”
