by Avery Wilde
I wiped the rain out of my eyes, though it didn’t do much good, and I suddenly felt sludge-like sand beneath my feet. I’d gone too far. Oh, god, where was she? An emerging structure came into focus and I spied a shack they used for storing equipment close to me, the door slightly ajar.
Without a second thought, I headed toward it, pulling the door open and stepping inside, grateful that the wind and rain were no longer trying to peel my skin off, but a lot more thankful when I saw a pale face staring back at me.
She was sitting amongst the chairs and umbrellas, her knees drawn up with her arms hugging them to her chest. She was soaked, shivering, but she was alive and safe.
“Go away.” Her words were sharp even though her teeth were chattering.
“You’re cold.”
“One point for Captain Obvious. I’m fine,” she bit out, turning her face away from me. The wind and rain howled like it was being slaughtered outside and I fought to close the door, shutting us in the small space. “I don’t need your help.”
I shook my head, sending droplets of rain in all directions. “I disagree. Move over.”
She scowled and remained in her place.
“April, come on.”
She sniffed but then scooted as far as she could to the left, leaving maybe a few inches for me to fold my large frame into. Stripping off my soaked shirt, I laid it on one of the stacks of chairs. I couldn’t do anything about my pants and I doubted that April would be up for me to take them off. “Come here,” I said softly. “Let me warm you.”
A bitter laugh echoed around the room that hit me straight in the gut. “I don’t think so. I don’t want you near me.”
“It’s not what you think,” I tried again, frustrated that she had jumped to that conclusion. “She wasn’t—”
“What? A woman?” April scoffed, turning to face me. I could see the hurt in her eyes and it made me want to punch the wall, hard. I never wanted to see that pained look she was giving me, or the betrayal she was no doubt feeling. I wanted to throw my hands up into the air and scream. Just when I thought there was something real between us, this shit happened and I never wanted to fix anything more. She didn’t deserve this.
“Please hear me out, April,” I started. “She was a reporter. I was telling her to leave us alone when you walked in.”
“Yeah, I’m sure she was. What a convenient excuse… you two looked pretty cozy from my point of view.”
I shook my head. What could I do to make her believe me? What could I say? “It’s the truth. And if you don’t believe me then fine.”
In the shadowy shack she stared at me for the longest time, scrutinizing me, till I almost thought she could read my mind, then her eyes softened and silently cursed under her breath.
“You better not be lying to me, Connor. I swear to g—”
“I swear to you I’m not lying. She was fishing mostly. Wanted to know your name.”
“Crap,” April breathed, rubbing a hand over her face. “Are you sure?”
I nodded.
“But how did she find out we were here? How do they know I’m here with you?”
“The photo of us, kissing, on our first night. A staff member must’ve put it on the Island’s website or leaked it…”
“Oh god, oh god. This can’t be happening.”
“It’s okay, April, calm down.”
“It’s not okay! Don’t you see, if they find out who I am, that I was your freaking wedding planner for the wedding you didn’t go through with—fuck this is not happening—my career will be ruined, I won’t even be able to start the new party business cause everyone will know I was the wedding planner who ran off with the groom!”
“So you ran off with me did you?” I said with a slow smile, hoping to calm the situation a little bit.
“Don’t you joke about this! You’ll come off okay, you’re a playboy after all, it’s practically your job to fuck anything that moves!”
Ouch that stung… Her hand moved to her mouth. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it like that.”
I shrugged. It was the truth after all, but it didn’t mean I had to like who I’d become. And with April I was beginning to think there was another way.
“Connor, talk to me, I’m sorry.”
“Don’t apologize, April. You’re right. I’m scum, but when I’m with you…” The words wouldn’t come, she would think it was just another line, a line that would lead me straight into her pants.
We sat side by side in silence, listening to the howling wind. Her body shivered next to me and before I knew it was pulling her close.
“Where is your damn jacket?”
“I left it behind,” she said, her body melting against mine as I wrapped an arm around her waist. “I was worried.”
“About what?” I asked, rubbing my hand against the wetness of her clothing to cause some friction. She sighed and leaned against me, her wet hair making a puddle on my shoulder. “You. I was worried you’d fall off the deck and drown yourself.”
I grinned, touched to hear that she was so concerned about me to come out and try and save me. And fuck, did I need saving. “You thought I would commit suicide because you wouldn’t have that drink with me?”
She reached over and slapped me lightly on my thigh, her hand resting there much to my surprise. “No, silly. I thought you were getting drunk and wouldn’t be able to find your way home.” I swallowed at the word home, thinking that coming from her, it sounded pretty fucking nice. What would she be like to come home to every night?
“Well, I appreciate you worrying,” I forced out, the lump in my throat growing. Now I was thinking about having her home with me every night? What the hell had this woman done to me?
Her hand warmed my thigh and I sucked in a breath, my cock rising to the occasion that her hand was so near. I should make her move it, but the horny devil inside me refused. She was killing me, little by little.
I could have her stripped bare in seconds, warming her up, pounding so hard into her, making her mine, that I could imagine us bringing down the structure around us. And god, did I want to; I needed her like I needed the blood pumping through my veins.
Swimming in her chocolate eyes, I brushed a strand of wet hair off her cheek. She tensed a little under my touch, taking a sharp breath.
“Why on earth are you still single?”
20
APRIL
I knew it was coming. I’d been able to dance around any personal questions related to my love life, but we’d now been in each other’s company long enough for Connor to notice I hadn’t given him any type of answer. I knew all about his love life, naturally, but he knew nothing about mine. Taking a deep breath, I forced myself to answer him.
“Who knows?”
“I don’t believe that for one second. You should have a string of men wanting to have you. There’s something else.”
He smoothed a thumb over my cheek and I tilted my head against his palm. Was I really going to open up to him, let him know about my past, my vulnerabilities? His green eyes flashed, imploring me to share.
“I don’t date anymore. There’s no point. But I haven’t always been single,” I said with a sigh. “I was actually engaged once.”
“What did the bastard do?” he asked, surprising me. Was it that obvious that I had been hurt? I thought I’d hidden it well, throwing myself into my work and avoiding the chance of it ever happening to anyone else, with the exception of my most recent job, including the man next to me, a man that I was intimately cuddled up to. He must have noticed my tenseness because he forced me to look at him again, his beautiful eyes tender as I stared at him. “Hell, any man would be an idiot to leave you, April.”
His words made my heart race and I turned away. “It wasn’t his fault, not really. My parents had just died,” I started again, my voice thick with emotion. “We’d been dating forever so it was only natural for us to talk about our futures. He proposed not long after the funeral and I threw myself into t
he wedding planning to hide my grief. I think he was, in his own way, trying to make me happy.”
“You don’t have to tell me this,” Connor said quietly, his grip on my waist now like a vise, but safe. I shook my head and looked up at him, seeing his troubled expression.
“No, it’s good to talk about it again. I’ve made peace with this part of my life.” Though, I didn’t tell him that his presence was making me feel things I had also buried long ago. “It was going to be a beautiful wedding, in the same place my parents got married in. There was this cute little wedding chapel not far from my hometown, situated on a lake where the most gorgeous sunset was going to be shining through the windows as we said my vows.” I thought back to that day, back to the man I hadn’t given much thought to in quite a few years. “Derek was my high school sweetheart. I was so proud at the thought of becoming his wife. My wedding day was the perfect everything: weather, time, simplicity. You name it, I couldn’t have asked for anything else.”
Connor shifted and pulled me with him, content to keep me glued to his side. “What happened?” he asked softly, reaching down to grasp my hand that was lying on his thigh. I took a deep breath then, surprised to not be seized with overwhelming pain like I had in the past.
“He came to the door of the room I was getting ready in and asked to speak to me.” I gave a little laugh, thinking of how my bridesmaids had insisted that it was bad luck for the groom to see the bride before the wedding. Looking back, we didn't know exactly how bad that luck was. “He broke it off minutes before we were due to say our vows. He’d gotten cold feet… but there was more to it than that. Said I’d changed after my parent’s had died, actually said I was a shell of a person, and I guess he was half right, cause I felt lost… though I thought I had him to support me, when it was nowhere near the truth. I found out later that he’d cheated on me, met someone else.”
“Bastard,” Connor muttered, clutching my hand. “Why the hell did he wait until the wedding day?”
I looked up and met his eye, feeling the air shift around us. “I don’t know,” I said softly. “Why did you wait to tell Crystal?”
“Hell, don’t compare me to him,” he said darkly, his eyes blackening in anger. “My situation is different.”
I sighed and untangled myself from his grasp, ignoring him as I pushed myself off of the floor. “How is it any different? You abandoned your fiancée practically on her wedding day, the most special day of her life. All of that work, all of that time spent planning that day to have it ripped from you because someone decided after promising themselves to you that they weren’t ready.”
“Come on, that’s not fair,” Connor challenged as I opened the door to the shack, glad to see that the storm had cleared for the most part. “You can’t compare my situation to yours. He’s an asshole, a bastard for doing that to you.”
I looked back at him sadly, knowing that he wasn’t seeing the correlation. It was there, he just didn’t want to admit it. “I’m no different than any other woman.”
I slipped out. It didn’t matter that it had stopped raining, tears were blinding my eyes anyway as I calmly put distance between us. It was then that I knew Connor was going to break my heart.
Maybe he had already.
21
CONNOR
I sat there for a moment, April’s words sinking in before I got angry. What the hell did she mean she wasn’t different from any other woman? She was completely and utterly the opposite of any woman I’d ever come in contact with! She was the one that broke the mold, the one that turned my world upside down. Even Crystal wasn’t in the same league as April was. And Derek, or whatever the hell his name was, deserved to meet the end of my fist for breaking April’s heart… but I refused to believe I was anything like him.
Standing, I grabbed my still damp shirt and stalked out after her. It wasn’t over between us.
She needed to know I was different, that I could be the guy for her. That she could trust me. But that meant telling her everything, revealing the truth, and risking losing her for good.
When I arrived at the hut, she was out on the deck, overlooking the inky choppy water. She had changed out of her dress, a robe wrapped around her supple body instead. As I approached I threw my shirt onto the lounge chair nearby.
“You shouldn’t have left, we weren’t done talking,” I growled, stopping just short of her. “That wasn’t fair.”
She turned and I could see her eyes were red-rimmed from crying. “You know what, Connor? Life’s not fair. We love, we lose, and then we grow old and die.”
“That’s a damn horrible way to look at it,” I said, crossing my arms over my chest. She gave me a sad smile, shrugging her shoulders, the fight going out of her. “It’s the truth, and I don’t like what I feel when I’m around you. So, please, leave me alone.”
I decided then and there that I didn’t like this side of April and I wasn’t going to stand for it any longer. Crossing the rest of the space between us, I backed her up until she was against the railing, her eyes wide with surprise. With one finger, I traced the delicate features of her face, feeling her breath speed up under my touch.
“What do you feel now, April?” I asked harshly, pressing my body against hers. “What would you call this?”
“Please,” she whispered, her face becoming flushed. “Don’t make me do this. Don’t make me fall in—”
“Tell me,” I asked, wedging a knee between her legs, making sure she couldn’t run this time. “What do you feel?”
She closed her eyes and for a moment I considered backing away. I didn’t want this resigned broken girl who thought she couldn’t have another relationship. I wanted the fiery woman who threw the drink in my face that night in the club to rise to the surface, the one that laughed as she played in the water, the one that had dripped with pleasure over my fingers only hours ago. I wanted her.
I needed her.
April opened her eyes, and within their depths I saw a small spark flicker with determination, and even lust… my very existence hinging upon what was going to come out of her mouth next.
“I-I feel things I shouldn’t,” she finally whispered, her voice so faint that I thought I had imagined it. “I feel like I can’t breathe around you. But it’s worse when you’re not there. The thought of you with that reporter made me sick to my stomach; like I’d been hollowed out… and above all I feel the heat between us. You’re going to ruin me, Connor. I-I can’t have that happen again, I can’t.”
I let out a breath and cupped her cheek with my hand, surprised to feel her tremble under my touch. “I’m not him,” I said firmly. “I’m not that bastard that broke your heart.”
“But you could be,” she said, a shimmer of tears appearing in her eyes. It hit me then what she was scared of. Hell, I was scared she was going to be that woman that I couldn’t live without, that one that would ruin me for all other women for the rest of my life.
Of all people, I was scared of her the most. I had to handle her carefully, like precious glass in the palm of my hand; not too tight to break her, and not too loose to let her fall and shatter out of my hand, all while showing her that I wasn’t like anyone else. “You could be for me as well,” I finally said, the words coming out easier than I had imagined they would. “So what do you want, April? Tell me quick before I make your mind up for you.”
I was open to any and all suggestions, begging inside that she chose door number one, the life that led to possibilities I never thought I wanted until now.
One word and I would give her the time of her life, in more ways than one.
APRIL
I could break his heart? I doubted that. But looking into his eyes, I couldn’t help but notice the tenderness that matched his expression, the way he said it with such finality. Could I trust him with my heart?
“I-I don’t know,” I finally said, confused.
Connor sighed heavily and pressed his lips to my forehead before releasing me and stepping back,
looking a bit perplexed himself, battling his own demons that were visibly raging inside. “I’m not going to force you into anything, April,” he said softly, the evidence of his arousal straining against his still-wet pants. “Goodnight.”
He turned around then and I bit my lip, the disconnect between us weighing heavily on my mind. What did I want? It was a pointless question, I knew damn well I wanted to give in and let myself have him. I certainly didn’t want to go to a cold bed with nothing but my dreams to keep me warm.
It was now or never. A choice that comes along only one or twice during a lifetime. One that you can’t ignore, but you know it could destroy you or make you whole, and I was fully aware that I was on the precipice of making the wrong choice and following the wrong path.
I pushed away from the railing and launched myself at him, wrapping my arms around his waist and pressing him tightly against me. “Please,” I whispered against his strong back. “Please show me what I’ve been missing.”
He untangled himself out of my grasp and then turned around to face me, his eyes glowing in the darkness as he framed my face with his warm hands. “Are you sure?” he asked, then choked back laughter. “I’ve never asked that question to anyone before.”
“I’m positive, I want this, I want you,” I replied, reaching up to pull him down to me. “Kiss me.” He groaned before his lips crushed against mine, forcing his way into my mouth without an apology. I moaned into his kiss as his tongue scorched mine, knowing that whatever happened tonight, I went in with my eyes wide open. No matter his words, I had a good idea of what I was signing up for by letting him have me; and I was under no false illusions of a future with him, as much as I wanted to dream. I had to keep that in mind. I might have sex with Connor, even feel things that I knew would be special and wonderful, but in the end, there was nothing else between us. Nothing at all.
