“No,” Dreamer said. “I want….” A passing bus caught her attention and she stopped talking.
“If we go to the Grand Buffet everyone gets what they want,” Trooper pointed out and I smiled at my lemniscates son. He was my rock, just like my husband, able to understand his squiggle brother, and his sister, who was like a floating cloud, not a hard shape, but more of a slowly moving breath of air.
Julius was in Los Angeles, at a small concert venue where he was invited to perform. Music was still his passion, but he never did it for the recognition. He sang once a month at the Dixieland, but mostly at the Driftwood, bringing in more and more clientele.
He managed to be present for the birth of Budge, and I didn’t care if this time Travis had to deliver him in the Pacific Ocean, I was naming my baby Budge and that was it. I showed up at the hospital and ordered an epidural during check in. Those things are freaking amazing, and I didn’t almost bleed to death this time, proving it was all Amos’ fault last time. Julius was supportive but refused to look further south than my breasts, proving he was indeed a northern man.
We waited four years after Budge before having Dreamer. She was so sweet and loved her daddy fiercely. If I ever spoke harshly to Julius, Dreamer would burst into tears. “Don yewl at my daddy,” she would say and cover his face with kisses. Daddy screaming in the dark and pounding on the wall never seemed to bother her, but if I told him he forgot the trash she rushed to his rescue.
I realized it would not be Trooper having his way with Scarlet on the table, who incidentally was named Jasmine, when Budge came running through the house with Jasmine’s panties on his head calling himself ‘Super Pooper.’ Jasmine cried with humiliation and Budge begged her to let him keep the panties.
Trooper was more into ugly Amy. She taunted him with her blonde curls and deep dimples. He was at her beck and call constantly. Claire’s son, Patrick, was so much like Amos and basically sat on the floor picking his nose for hours. The kid was fifteen-months-old and had absolutely no interest in walking when Claire finally admitted her son was not ‘advanced’.
William dear was true to his word and redesigned Carmichael Corporation. Each employee sat at a counter that looked like a big squiggle bar, with filing cabinets above and below. They were free to interact with each other and nobody felt contained or stuck in a cube. Ideas were coming so fast and furious beating Microsoft became a regular occurrence.
Jennifer was divorced from Hal when I ran into her at a town celebration in Cartwright. Her daughter, Nastyalie, was wearing a short top exposing her midriff and had a temporary tattoo on the small of her back… she was only nine. When I saw her staring at Trooper, licking her lollypop when he met her gaze, I pulled him from the game he was playing and said, “Don’t you ever marry her, understand?”
Julius walked past the salsa booth where Jen, CuntSwayLow, Staple Nelson stood, and he shuddered from head to toe. He tried hard to forget that part of his life, and right now he was concentrating on keeping Dreamer from following a clown which she happened to catch a glimpse.
“Mom,” Budge said to bring my attention back to our table at the Grand Buffett. “What color is this?” He tossed a tomato in his mouth and a slice of yellow pepper and chewed for a minute before opening wide.
“It’s orange,” I said with joy.
He swallowed and said with a sigh, “I love the color orange.”
“Red and Yellow will always make orange,” Trooper said, “What other foods can you mix to make colors?”
I winked at my perfect boy, who was getting Budge to eat vegetables while teaching him the color wheel.
“Can I have….” Dreamer started and we all went back to eating until she refocused.
“Daddy comes home tonight,” I said and Dreamer, still looking away said, “Ice cream,” to finish her previous thought.
“Uncle Sebastian said I can go with him to Singapore,” Budge informed me.
“He can sing poorly by himself, you can sing with daddy,” I said with finality.
I wasn’t letting my son budge from my home to run off with S’bastard. The man still thought the mafia look worked and still lost every girlfriend he had. I tried to give him advice one time, but he thought being a man meant you took charge of everything. He thought women were accessories and not partners. He didn’t get along very well with Trooper, but Budge was his buddy, because they were emotionally on the same level.
“Can we use the chalk and write messages to Dad?” Trooper asked, and I nodded enthusiastically.
As soon as we arrived home, I got out the chalk and handed pieces to the kids. Budge ran to the far end of the sidewalk and began drawing a snake all the way to the driveway. Trooper was asking Dreamer what she wanted to tell her daddy and she was giving him an entire dissertation in snippets as she watched a bird on a tree limb.
I drew hearts all the way down the driveway, connecting them with a long squiggle line. I walked back to read Dreamer’s thoughts. I miss you. Come home. I love you, and finally, I like ice-cream. Trooper wrote, Dad, I listened and took care of mom. I like it when you are home. Amy is beautiful. I laughed and wondered if he would be climbing out the window in high school to sneak into her room.
I headed over to look at Budge’s drawing and tried to keep a straight face while he pointed out various body parts of his father’s inside the snake’s belly.
The kids bathed and had on pajamas when Julius walked through the back door. He still managed to take my breath away. And, he still managed to think it was a miracle I wanted him. Dreamer screamed and ran into his waiting arms. He tossed her in the air and hugged her tightly as his entire face lit up with joy.
“Dad, did you see our messages?” Budge asked.
“I sure did, it made me feel very welcomed,” he said and made his way over to me for a kiss.
I held the collar of his shirt and let my hand move into his hair until Dreamer began to squirm and wanted down. Something was different, and I couldn’t put my finger on it. He was standing taller, smiling wider, seemingly more confident.
“How was the concert?” I asked, and he shrugged.
“Good, but I hate being away. I miss you guys too much,” he admitted and pulled me into his arms.
“Dad, my teacher wanted to talk to you, but mom took care of it,” Budge announced, and Julius groaned.
I looked for any sign of slouching, or loss of confidence, but Julius looked at me for information as he continued to smile. Not even Budge’s proclivity for unusual classroom behavior dimmed his new shine.
“I tried to take care of it, but she wants to talk to you. I bought a new box of rubber bands,” I told him and he only chuckled, still oblivious to the women panting for him… and Kevin.
“What did he do?” Julius asked.
“He colored his teeth with his crayon and I don’t see anything wrong with having orange teeth. I mean, it is only wax after all and a child should be able to have whatever color of teeth he wants.”
“Budge, you can color your teeth at home, but at school only color what the teacher tells you to color,” Julius said to solve the problem. “Trooper, there are some surprises in my suitcase, and Dreamer, your juice box is dripping.”
He pulled me by my hand up the stairs and into the bedroom before locking the door behind us. I was anxious to learn what happened to bring on this change. I looked at his handsome face with anticipation and wrapped my arms around his waist.
“Tobi, are you happy?” he asked, and I moaned as I nodded emphatically letting my entire body lean into his. “Do you love me as much as the day we met?” he asked, and I kissed his neck and answered again with a moan. “I have a gift for you,” he said into my ear.
“Call it what you want, just get it out,” I instructed, and he laughed before pushing me back and stepping away about a foot. He reached in his pocket and pulled out an orange squiggle pen. I felt like Dreamer as I screamed and reached for the pen. He quickly pulled it back and shook his head.
I still had a lanky body, even after three children. It bothered Claire greatly. She worked out constantly and didn’t understand why I could eat tons of chocolate chips when I was stressed without so much as walking around the block. I guess I’m just lucky.
I finally got onto my knees to straddle Julius and let my hair fall around his head. He reached up to hold my hair from my face and I noticed how he was breathing fast and moving under me as he stared into my eyes. I closed them, and he called out for me, so I looked at him again.
“Look at me,” he said with a lot of difficulty.
I kept my eyes open and watched his face as he strained to keep control. “Julius, oh my God,” I said as he continued holding my face.
“Don’t look away,” he said as he gasped loudly. “I want you to see it.”
“See what,” I cried as my own sounds got very loud.
“My eyes, because I finally know with my entire soul you will never cheat on me,” he declared. He arched back as his entire body went rigid, but he managed to keep looking at me.
It was about dang time. I constantly told him of my love, constantly showed him my love. I even threatened to sell the children when they acted up, but never him. I knew learning to trust was hard for Julius, and three kids in ten years still managed to leave a tiny bit of doubt in his mind. But, now it was gone. He was whole. I had no idea what happened while he was away to bring him to this point, and in the moment, I really didn’t care.
“Ah God,” I screamed loudly, and his hands fell from my face and pounded on the mattress. It wasn’t profanity he screamed this time; it was assurance, absolute certainty of my love for him, and that I would never cheat.
It sent me over the edge and into total shock as the words, “Mother effer, so effing good!” left my mouth and echoed throughout the house as I pounded on the wall over Julius’ head. We looked at each other in stunned silence and then both screamed with laughter.
After all these years, I was still such a whore for a squiggle pen.
Squiggle Page 34
