by Jerri Hines
He braced her in a manner his mouth found her breast. He latched onto it hungrily, sucking it into his mouth. She gasped as sensation after sensation broke through her.
His hands pulled up her skirt, bunching the material around her waist to obtain his desire. His powerful invasion wanted all of her. His hand spread her legs, caressing her bare thigh until he reached her sensitive spot. He slid two fingers inside of her with a boldness that made her quake.
There would be no moments to savor. Hot...wet...she felt his blunt hardness touch her intimately and he was within her. He plunged into her with a primal power that commanded her by the rhythms of their ferocious passion. Hard, deep, fierce thrusts sending cascading, overpowering sensations into a spinning ecstasy. She grasped him like a mad woman. She was lost on a journey, soaring higher and higher. Her world spiraled into a crescendo of pure pleasure.
Her ragged breathing whispered hoarsely. “Yes, yes, yes...I want you, Jake. I love you!”
He took her, two beings blended together in a passion long denied but never dimmed. He groaned out loud in his possession of her...merged in a fiery fusion that touched the depths of their hearts.
Declaration in the throes of passion...but she had discovered she could no more deny him than keep her heart from beating.
Slowly, the world drifted back into place. He touched her face and pushed her hair out of her eyes, a gentle caress as his smile deepened. She reveled in his touch. All she wanted was him to hold her and never let her go.
He kissed her gently and stepped back. “Compose yourself and met me back at my room.”
“I don’t know if...”
Placing his finger on her lips, he whispered, “My love, we have much to discuss. I did not come all this way, wait all this time, to leave on the morrow without settling the matter between us. You will come.”
It was not a question. She would do so.
* * * *
Cathryn wondered what was wrong with her. What had she done? Making love had only further confused the tangle, but the embers of desire had needed only to be flamed to make the years melt away. She had comprehended he had been the thirst that had not been quenched.
She had lost sense of everything else but an insatiable craving that left her begging for him. Oh, my lord, had she told him she loved him? Now...she was sneaking down the corridor to his room.
He was in wait for her and opened the door before she knocked. There was little chance of being overheard in his room given the fact that Sumner had placed Jake at the far end of the house.
He had not changed, but his manner eased. A warm...knowing smile greeted her. The whole of her body tensed. She should have never agreed to see him alone. He had only to look at her to have her trembling. She had fooled herself that he no longer had an effect upon her.
“They are beautiful children, Cathryn. You have made Philip proud,” he said closing the door behind her. “Lucy Elizabeth and Charles Philip. It will please the duchess that you named them as Philip requested. Though it seems you call the boy Philip. You couldn’t bring yourself to call him Charles?”
He did not move, but stared at her in the most disturbing manner. Oh, can I not express some rational thought around him! She needed to compose herself.
“I promised Philip and kept to my word. I gave him none that I would call his son by that name.”
“It matters little. You have done a tremendous job with your children, Cathryn. I feared you would have lost the babe after all you went through, but to deliver two...simply amazing.”
“It was Juriah. I had to get back to her.”
“Did you not trust me?”
“You asked too much. His Grace threatened to take my child away from me.” Cathryn frowned. Gradually it softened into a bittersweet smile. “I can’t return to England. His Grace will still try to take them from me. They are all I have. England holds only painful memories for me.”
“Even me?” he asked. He reached under her chin and brought it up to look into his eyes.
“None more so than you, Jake,” she whispered. Silent tears began to fall. She tried to back away from him, but he wouldn’t release her. “I have never felt so desolate, alone, than the day you left me.”
“I wish I could take that hurt away. I want to explain my actions,” he said in a soft voice. “Philip told me you refused to read my letter after you discovered he had kept it from you.”
“What good would it have done? I was his wife,” she said defensively, but caught herself with the utterance. Angry, she had said her thought out loud. How could she have been so disloyal to Philip? “Don’t start this, Jake! I loved Philip. He loved me.”
“I want you only to understand. It was not your fault, but mine. You were right that day you exploded at me. I was the only one to blame. I should never have sent a letter. I should have gone to you, taken you to my home and then dealt with everything.
“But I had so much pride. I couldn’t let you know how bad financially my uncle had been. I had been trying desperately to get him on his right foot. Already, all my salary went to him and my mother. Moreover, I blamed myself for your predicament with Lyttleton. When you needed me the most, I fell into a pit of self-pity that I couldn’t even protect you. I saw the need within your eyes, pleading with me, and all I could feel was guilt for what you had endured.”
He caressed her cheek. She shivered, trying desperately to maintain her emotions, knowing it was not wise to relax her distrusting vigil. Yet, she saw a need within him to dispel the demon that haunted him.
“After we left you at Trafford, Philip and I had long talks in London, he about marrying Anne and I about you. Looking back, I should have picked up on his feelings toward you. The day I had prepared to go back for you, Mother sent me an urgent message to return. My uncle’s health was failing and the estate was almost in foreclosure.
“Philip offered to return to Trafford. He had broken his engagement and needed to escape. He said he would be my ambassador to you and carry my letter.” His voice trailed off. It took a moment for him to continue. “I had thought it a good course of action...I am not going to relive that hell. I need you to know only that I came back for you...upon bended knees begging for forgiveness.”
“Jake, I don’t...” She could feel a soft warmth replace the anger and the hurt. How could she let go of that anger?
“Don’t turn from me now, Cathryn. There is much that has happened, but this know—I failed you once, I refuse to do so again. Don’t fight returning to England. Return with me. Take the children and return with me.”
His lips came down upon hers. She was swept back into his arms, as passion once more reignited. He whispered, “I’ve never stopped loving you, Cathryn.”
“I don’t know, Jake. So much has happened. I want to believe...” Her voice faded. She couldn’t think when he was so close. Suddenly, she remembered. She stepped back. “It has been you fighting with me about my money, Jake. Are you the reason why?”
“It was Philip who placed the restrictions. He felt you would try to return to your home. Can you not understand he wanted you within England with his children?”
“Why try to keep my money from me, though, Jake?”
“Why?” he asked, his frustration held within his voice. “To bring you back to England, Cathryn. To bring you back.”
Jake frowned, realizing she had to be convinced of his good intentions. “Listen to me, please, Cathryn. This ploy, asking for intervention, will only be prolonged. They will argue about this for a time...time that you do not have. Why are you being so stubborn?”
“What do you want from me? I cannot return to England and let my children be stolen from me. Money means little. I will stay here...with the twins.”
“I know it would be hard with all that you have gone through to leave. Do you not know I realize that you have lived a sedate existence? Hiding to protect your children, not knowing another way? I want to give you another way, Cathryn. One that will lead to happiness.
”
“Happiness. I know of none without my children.”
“Marry me, Cathryn,” he declared. “No one could touch you or your children. Eversleigh would lose any battle trying to get you declared unfit whether I’m in England or not. Listen, please, Cathryn, I wish I could do this in another manner, but we don’t have time.”
Cathryn stared at him. He had come so prepared upon every turn. She was so confused. He took her back in his arms. Hesitantly her trembling lips parted and yielded to his passionate kiss.
“You told me once to tell you I didn’t love you rather than I would let you go loving you. Now I’m declaring how much I still do love you, Cathryn. I have fought hard for this moment. I know what I’m fighting for. Tell me you don’t still love me and I’ll leave. I will do what I can to protect you and your children, but I’ll leave you to live your life.”
The whole of her body crumbled inside. The wall she had built around her heart cracked. She fought back the urge to fling herself into his arms and declare her love...she had already done so in the throes of passion.
She pulled away slightly and tried to put her reeling thoughts in order. She had too much to lose. But she wanted nothing more than to be loved by him, she never had.
“Can you tell me you don’t love me?” he asked.
In a matter of minutes, he had stripped away the barrier, baring the vulnerable emotions she had hidden so well for so long. No, she couldn’t let him. There had been so much strife between them. Say the words. Leave him. Steady your heart.
Cathryn turned her back to him and walked to the door. With her hand on the handle, she paused without turning around. She whispered, “I don’t know much at the moment, Jake, but I could never tell you that.”
Her hand turned the handle, but from behind an arm barred her progress, pushing the door tightly shut. He turned her to him. They stared at each other for a moment in suspended time.
His head came down and a breathless moan escaped from her as his mouth captured hers. Her awareness shattered with the realization her heart longed for him. He was a part of her she could not deny.
He branded her with kisses on her lips, on her cheeks, her eyelids; his tongue lighting a fervor within her. She returned his kisses, brushing her lips on his cheek. His face turned and his mouth was again on hers tasting her, hungering with desire both shared. And suddenly a kiss wasn’t enough.
Cathryn heard a click of a key in the door and he drew her into his arms again. She wasn’t even aware how they edged back to the bed. His hands were upon her. She made no protest. Gone was the urgency he had taken her only an hour before...he slowed, relishing every moment.
Unhurriedly, he untied the laces of her gown and undid the buttons of his clothing until nothing separated him from his desire. She stood before unashamed. His eyes soaked in the sight and laid her down on the bed.
With each touch, she sensed in him a need to touch every part of her. She quivered beneath his questing search. Her breathing turned shallow and rapid while her heart thudded wildly. His ragged whisper came against her lips as he rose above her and lowered his hips between her thighs. They joined in a slow lingering bond. Bodies joined as one, he poured himself into her.
A devastating shock of pleasure streaked through her. Then another and another. Finally the whole of her body and essence rose with a more intense sensation, reaching into her very soul with his possession of her. The waves of pleasure washed over her, binding their heaving bodies in total consummation.
Sweat glistened on their bodies as they lay entwined in the afterglow of their love. Slowly the realization swept through her she couldn’t deny her feelings any longer. She had surrendered herself to Jake, body and soul. She submitted totally to him with a love that had never died, only been denied.
For some time, Jake held her. His hands caressed her shoulders. Her emotions and body were sated.
He turned her to him. His fingers etched over her face. Her hand grasped his and he kissed it. She looked up at him. She saw his lips curled upward and recognized the fleeting smile of satisfaction.
“I have no time to dither. Listen carefully, my love. I’m going to send a messenger here. He is a lad of fourteen. He comes from a Loyalist family, one that was destroyed upon one of the Indian raids. His name is Maddy Johnson. He will show up upon your steps, hungry and in search of work. Hire him, but upon my soul don’t tell anyone who he is. His life would be endangered. This isn’t a game, my love.”
She heard it in his voice; saw it in his eyes. Jake was deadly serious. “Jake, I’ll do whatever you want, but I won’t hurt Sumner.”
“Cathryn, I’m not out to hurt Sumner. I’m trying to bring you home. Your home, Cathryn. You said your home is here, but it isn’t true. Your home is with me. Your children are British and need to be grow up on English soil. I have letters to give you. I want you to read them when you question whether you need to stay. Sumner can well take care of himself. I don’t doubt he well loves you, but don’t confuse love with control.”
She turned silent.
“Don’t be forlorn. Yesterday at this time, we were lost in all this confusion. Hold to my love and we will prevail.”
Her hand reached up to his face. “I...” She stuttered, unable to place the words she wanted so badly to say. “I had pushed back all, believing it for the best. I never dreamed you would come as you have, Jake. I want you to know...I don’t ever want to feel that I’ve betrayed Philip, but God help me. The reason I didn’t read your letter when Philip offered was because...”
He shook his head. “You don’t have to say it.”
“Yes, I do. I want you to understand. I couldn’t read it. You were right. I would have taken you back without question. I couldn’t have Philip know that. It was too late...” Her voice faded.
“He knew, Cathryn. Read your letters.” He brought her back into his arms. “Now, you understand me clearly, my love. You are mine and nothing is going to keep us apart. I’ll return. Upon that you have my word.”
Chapter 5
Rain began to fall after the envoy departed. Cathryn thought Sumner would have immediately sought her out. She was wrong. Without explanation, he rode into Charles Town. Moreover, Mary had locked herself in her room and refused to come out.
Jake had been right. The barrier Sumner had erected around his love ones had crumbled. The cruel outside world had invaded Elm Bluff.
Cathryn helped Juriah and immersed herself in overseeing the housekeeping needed after hosting guests. It kept the guilt from gnawing at her. She only hoped Sumner would forgive her for the decision she made. She feared her would not.
Her two little hellions had finally succumbed to their afternoon naps. Their routine had been greatly disturbed. Cathryn had paid dearly. She had battled a constant stream of temper tantrums from the pair.
Her patience worn, she reached the bottom of the staircase when the door opened. William walked into the foyer.
“William, I wasn’t expecting you.”
He looked disheveled as if he hadn’t slept in days. His clothes wrinkled; his eyes reddened with dark circles underneath. His hair was drawn back in a queue, but he wore no hat or gloves.
“Cathryn, we need to speak. I need to know if you have turned your back upon me.”
“Of course, not,” Cathryn sighed. “I was going into the kitchen to check upon dinner. Please wait in the drawing room. I will bring you some refreshments and then we will talk.”
He caught her arm roughly. “No, Cathryn, I have the need to talk with you without delay!”
Slowly she raised her gaze to meet his eyes which burned at her. The distinct smell of liquor assaulted her. “Pray, release me, William.”
She twisted her arm away. His nostrils flared with indignation. He did not relent and raged on. “It has come to my attention that you intend upon abandoning me. You have no more use for me?”
He was in no state to discuss the matter. She stepped back. “I believe you need to leave.�
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“Not before you tell me. You are done with me now you have what you want. Tell me!”
“For Heaven’s sake, William, keep your voice down. The children are sleeping,” she said in a low, firm voice. “What is the matter with you?”
“Matter with me? I don’t know.” He shrugged and spread his hands wide. “You have dashed my hopes...my dear... my hopes of being more than a friend. By God, Cathryn, you led me on!”
She slapped him, hard across his cheek. “Leave now. I will not be disrespected in my own home.”
Suddenly, a wave of pity swept through her for no other reason that she couldn’t give to him what he wanted. He looked as if he was about to cry...as if someone that ripped his heart out...that someone would be her.
“Oh, William, do not be like this. I want to talk and explain. Let us go into the drawing room so the whole of the house will not hear.”
He shook his head and refused to move. He stuttered, “Before the British invaded your home...we... were...we—”
“We kissed, William. You have to know how happy I was. You were part of that happiness. You have been a dear friend—”
“Stop! Stop this charade, Cathryn! You have to have known how I feel. How I felt well before you departed to England. I know well I’m married. It is a sham at best, but married just the same. I had hoped that you felt as I. I have been so frustrated with my marriage...but that too is your fault. If you had not left, I would never have been in this loveless marriage. Do you know since she lost the babe, she has not let me touch her? A baby that couldn’t have possibly been mine...but your brother’s!”
She shivered at the raw crudeness of his words. “I’m sorry, William, truly I am, but I cannot offer you anything but friendship. Think...where would any relationship lead? Nothing is going to change the fact you are married.”
“It’s not how you felt when I held you in my arms. I felt you wanted more. You wanted me...until he showed up.”
“William, please, think. What if we did get caught up in the celebration, what you want of me then...to become your mistress or cast me aside? Either way we could no longer be friends”
