Virtually Mine: a love story

by Susan Rohrer

  Kate brushed her hair behind her ear. “Thanks for staying. Sorry I was so late.”

  “Don’t you worry ‘bout that a second, Girl. You are so worth the wait.” Charlie craned to see as Kate’s car crested the top of the Wheel, giving her a breathtaking view of the city lights.

  “I always liked Ferris Wheels,” Kate replied. “But it’s been forever, since the county fair back home. All these months here and I’d never ridden this one.”

  “Life just seems simpler up there, doesn’t it? Lookin’ down on all those twinklin’ lights...”

  “Yeah,” Kate agreed.

  “I used to ride one whenever I’d had a hard day. And I thought it might put a smile back on that pretty little face of yours.” As Kate’s car started its descent, Charlie saw the smile that curled on Kate’s lips. “There it is.”

  Kate quickly covered her face, clearly delighted. “You saw that?”

  “I did,” Charlie answered. “Hey, you want some kettle corn?” He watched as Kate’s mouth dropped open.

  “How did you know? It’s, like, my biggest weakness.”

  Charlie glanced back down the pier as he spoke into the phone. “Well, go on over to the stand when you get off ‘cause I got you some waitin’. Don’t forget Bubba, now.”

  “Oh, I won’t.”

  When Charlie saw Kate put an affectionate arm around Bubba, he just about passed out on the spot.

  The fact that things were going so well helped Charlie to work up his nerve. As himself he’d always been so skittish around Kate, but as Brad he was finally able to say what had been on his heart since the first time he’d laid eyes on her. “Speakin’ of weaknesses, you know what my biggest weakness is gettin’ to be?”

  Kate adjusted the phone at her ear. “What?”

  Charlie smiled softly, gazing across the crowd to the loveliest girl he knew. “My biggest weakness... It’s you, Katie Mae Valentine. It’s gettin’ to be you.”

  nine

  ♥

  Every once in a while, M.J. happened upon what could only be described as a stroke of genius, at least by her own personal assessment. It was Saturday, which meant that the local animal advocates would have any number of potential pets penned outside to show off to passing pedestrians in the popular shopping district.

  It wasn’t that M.J. frequented the doggie rescue mission she’d seen set up on the corner every weekend. What with her allergies, if anything she’d steered clear of it. But it was situated right across the way from her favorite yogurt shop, and something about the combination of non-fat Mango Splash and seeing all those dogs frolicking behind temporary fences gave her an idea.

  M.J. spooned the fruity confection into her mouth as she scanned a diverse lot of pups. The assortment was worlds apart from the purebreds and show dogs of the doggie day care place the Westside elite frequented, the one where she’d written scores of double-parking tickets, as the rich dropped off their perfectly groomed pets to be pampered.

  With a blast from her inhaler, M.J. ventured closer to the pet adoption cages. It wasn’t that these dogs weren’t cute in their own way, but the mix of mutts and older breeds did look sorely in need of rescue.

  For a little while, M.J. watched as passersby gravitated to the best looking dogs in the lot. That was the way it always went, M.J. thought. Feeling somewhere between a mutt and a runt herself, M.J. sympathized. She’d lost count of the number of times she’d been overlooked in favor of prettier girls. So, there was something in her that understood why the homelier pups wagged their tails so eagerly and ate up any affection they got all the more.

  A volunteer approached M.J. “The Dalmatians make wonderful pets if you’re looking for a bigger dog, but I just adore the little Sheltie mix. Don’t you want to just eat her up?”

  “Actually, I had breakfast,” M.J. cracked. “How much are they?”

  “They’re free to a good home.” The woman scooped up the Sheltie before M.J. could stop her. “Shortie, here, will need to be fixed soon.”

  M.J. examined Shortie skeptically. “Fixed? So, what’s wrong with him?”

  The volunteer looked M.J. over with a more than condescending smile. “You’ve never owned a dog, have you?”

  ♥ ♥ ♥

  Locals trolled a yard sale just in front of Charlie’s building. When Kate had knocked on Charlie’s door to ask for a hand setting it up, he’d been all too happy to assist. He’d gone beyond simply carting her housewares, old clothes, knickknacks, and furnishings down to the walk. He’d also stuck around to help arrange things attractively for display. What Kate needed yard sale money for, he didn’t know for sure, so he kept his ears peeled as he spread out her belongings.

  Charlie winced with concern when he saw that Mrs. Teasdale had ventured out of her apartment to inspect Kate’s brocade Victorian chair. For starters, he knew Mrs. Teasdale was a bit of a packrat, and he couldn’t imagine where she’d find room for it. He was also pretty sure that it wouldn’t be a week before one or the other of her cats would claw the upholstery to shreds.

  “I don’t know,” Mrs. Teasdale picked. “It’s got this little scratch on the leg.”

  Clearly wanting to make the sale, Kate returned a winning smile. “That’s from where I nicked it with my ice-skates when I was seven. Every imperfection tells a story. They give it more character. Truth is, I kind of hate to give it up.”

  “Fifteen dollars,” Mrs. Teasdale quibbled.

  Kate pursed her lips congenially, considering the offer. “I know it’s worth a hundred. I need at least forty.”

  “Twenty or I’ll live with what I’ve got.”

  Kate shot a weakening glance over to Charlie. He could see her buckling under the pressure. Quickly, Charlie pulled some bills out of his wallet. “Kate, just a... I’ll give you fifty.”

  Mrs. Teasdale whirled about. “Charlie! You know very well I spoke for it first.”

  Kate turned appreciatively to Charlie. “Really? You’d want it?”

  Charlie nodded as calmly as his pounding heart would allow. “You can come over and sit on it any time you want, Mrs. Teasdale. But you have a lot of chairs and I could really use this one. For sitting purposes.”

  “Charlie, you’re an angel!” Just like that, Kate threw her arms around Charlie and gave him a spontaneous hug.

  There were two things that Charlie realized immediately. One: it was the first time he’d ever been embraced by a woman within two decades of his age. (He didn’t figure that his mom, his cousins, or any of his dad’s parishioners should count.) And Two: Kate’s hair smelled of tangerines, which he immediately decided was his favorite fruit.

  Charlie could feel his face going scarlet. He worried that Kate might notice until he saw that her attention had been diverted over his shoulder to M.J., who was fast approaching with two small dogs on leashes.

  M.J. froze, agape at the sight of Kate’s yard sale. “Kate! That...that’s our couch! Remind me never to leave you unsupervised on Saturdays. What are you doing?!”

  Kate returned a cheery grin. “Selling my stuff. Wanna buy it?”

  “It’s already ours,” M.J. insisted as Shortie, the Sheltie mix, and a yet to be named part Chihuahua yipped at a passing poodle. “What are we supposed to sit on? Shortie, no!”

  “We can sit on the floor. Pillows. We’ll come up with something. I need the money.” Kate stooped down to give the pups on M.J.’s leashes some attention. “Where did you get these dogs?”

  “Adopted, like me.” M.J. turned to Charlie. “Charlie, I know, I know. I’ll give you a deposit.”

  Before Charlie had a chance to respond, M.J. rotated around to Kate. “Back up. You’re selling off life and limb for what?”

  Even though Kate lowered her voice to sotto tones, Charlie was still close enough to overhear. “For him,” Kate said.

  M.J.’s brow furrowed. “Who him?”

  Charlie leaned closer, as discreetly as he could, his curiosity piqued.

  “Him-him,” Kate whispere
d. “You know.”

  M.J. rocked back, her volume increasing. “You mean, your imaginary rent-a-guy?”

  Kate snapped a finger to her lips. “Shhh! And he’s not imaginary. He’s real. You said it yourself.”

  “I meant real in the sense that he’s human as opposed to actually being your boyfriend.”

  Charlie listened in, hardly believing his ears as Kate went on, her face growing more animated.

  “It hit me this morning like, bing!” Kate enthused. “The week I had with him is almost over. I can’t let that happen. Sure my credit card is maxed now, and I have to reserve rent, but I don’t need all this stuff and it’s as good as gold.”

  “Aren’t you still paying for half of this on that credit card?” M.J. protested. “Isn’t that sort of why it’s maxed?”

  Kate glanced around at her former purchases. “What do I need with a wok or a foot massager or a DVD player—”

  “You’re selling the DVD player?!”

  “Why keep it when I sold the TV?”

  “Noooo!” M.J. roared.

  Kate hiked her eyebrows with glee. “I got seventy-five bucks for it. Can you believe it?”

  M. J. buckled at the knees. “Kate, this is crazy.”

  Charlie watched as Kate took her roommate by the arms and looked at her squarely.

  “I know it seems nuts, but Mom always said, love makes you do kooky things.”

  Charlie steadied himself against the back of his newly purchased chair. It kept him from keeling straight over.

  “Love?” M.J. spouted. “Who said anything about love?”

  Kate smiled understandingly. “Maybe it sounds ridiculous but—”

  “That’s because it is!” M.J. spat.

  In a way, Charlie was glad that M.J. continued the conversation, but the turn it was taking worried him.

  Kate didn’t miss a beat. “You’re the one who was all about investing in the possibilities.”

  “I said ‘invest’ not divest!”

  A dreamy look crossed Kate’s face as she leaned toward M.J. confidentially. “You know what he told me last night? That I’m his first girlfriend ever.”

  M.J. shook her head. “And you believed him? A guy who looks like that? He’s playing you. And all his other clients. He probably read it off a script.”

  “No. Uh-uh,” Kate answered. “I get a really genuine kind of vibe from him.”

  M.J. yanked at her already unruly hair. “This is insane. I am living with a loony bag.”

  “I’m a loony bag?” Kate retorted. “Am I the one who’s allergic to dogs and just adopted two of them?”

  Just then, a surfer dude pushed past Charlie toward Kate, eyeing Kate’s retro convertible at the curb. “Hey, how low can you go for the rag top?”

  Kate turned receptively to the surfer. “Twenty-five hundred, as is.”

  M.J. positioned herself between them. “Stop it, Kate! No.”

  Realizing that he was the cause of all of this, Charlie intervened, pained by his meager wallet. “I’ll give you three thousand dollars in, let’s see, six easy monthly installments...if you keep your sofa.”

  Immediately, Kate shook Charlie’s hand. “Done.” She handed him her keys.

  “Kate, this is L.A.!” M.J. implored. “You’re an actor. How are you going to get around?”

  Kate zipped through traffic on a motorized razor scooter. She glided to a stop in front of the casting co-op, picked up the scooter, and raced inside.

  There was only a minute or two for Kate to find the right studio, sign in, and speed through her lines. Soon, she heard Wissy call out above the din of the busy waiting area.

  “Okay, Kate and Jerry, you’re up.” As Kate and Jerry rose, Wissy called out again. “Anybody else, come in for the explanation.”

  Kate followed Jerry into the small casting studio, her portable scooter in tow. A director and an ad exec barely looked up as a half a dozen other actors squeezed into the room. Scanning the other auditionees, Kate did a double take at the last guy in line.

  It was Brad.

  Kate caught her breath. It couldn’t be, but it was. There was no mistaking Brad’s face from the photo that she’d been sent from Virtually Mine. Suddenly, Kate realized, her Imaginary Boyfriend wasn’t so imaginary. Everything in Kate tingled. Her stomach flip-flopped.

  Wissy stepped in front of the auditionees. “Everybody listening. This is casting very quickly, so be reachable. You’re at a party. Very casual. Guys approach, turn on the charm. Ladies, you like him a lot, so do your best to keep up appearances, even when you sense your unnamed but obviously inferior hygiene product is, shall we say, letting you down.”

  Try as she might, Kate could not keep her eyes off Brad. She attempted not to be too obvious, but couldn’t help cutting her eyes to him. At least he was so focused on Wissy that he didn’t catch her.

  Wissy waltzed toward the door. “Okay, Kate and Jerry stay. Everybody else out. Size cards and photos on the table.”

  Kate watched as Brad exited. He had been the last in the door, so he also was the first out. Everything in Kate hoped to get Brad’s attention, but she was first up and the session was ready to start.

  Wissy stepped behind the camera to shoot. “Kate, you can put your scooter down there.”

  Kate shyly stepped to the side and propped the scooter against the wall, dying to follow Brad, but knowing she couldn’t, at least not yet. She reminded herself that he’d still be there when she finished, waiting for his turn to audition.

  Wissy pointed to a small piece of white tape on the carpet. “So, on the marks. Give us your names, then go right into it.”

  First in line, Jerry started. “Hi, I’m Jerry Fontaine.”

  Wissy panned to Kate. “And you’re...”

  Distracted, Kate turned back to the camera. “Uh...Kate Valentine.” Kate fought to rally her focus, hoping somehow that her discombobulation would play in to the scene.

  Jerry approached in character, barely referring to his lines. “Hi...you know, I couldn’t help but notice you. That white dress...you look so amazing in it.”

  A demure smile crossed Kate’s face. “Thanks.”

  Jerry extended his hand to her. “I’m Michael.”

  “Michael. I’m... Listen, I’m really sorry. But could you excuse me?” With that, Kate walked away, grabbed her scooter and headed for the door.

  Wissy stopped recording. “Okay, good. Kate that was just what we were going for—”

  Barely acknowledging Wissy, the director, or the ad exec, Kate opened the door to leave. “Great. Thanks.”

  Kate knew it was customary to wait to be excused, but something inside her had shifted. Suddenly, she didn’t care about living in the imaginary world of acting, not when the real, live version of Brad was waiting outside. Just before she pulled the door closed, she heard Jerry’s bemused voice say, “So, I guess that’s it?”

  Kate scanned the busy waiting area for Brad’s familiar face. Finally, she spotted him. There he was, across the room, working with his audition partner.

  Her heart pounding furiously, Kate approached, listening in on their rehearsal of the commercial’s copy.

  “I’m Michael,” he said.

  “Michael. I’m... Listen, I’m really sorry, but could you excuse me?”

  As Brad’s partner wandered off in character, Kate gathered her courage. She stepped up behind him and called out, “Brad?”

  Right away, he turned back to Kate and flashed a receptive smile. “Hi. Actually, it’s Eric.”

  Kate returned an understanding grin. “No, really. You’re working under a stage name here, right?”

  Eric showed her his headshot. He pointed to where his name, Eric Bender, was printed at the bottom. “No, it’s really Eric. See?”

  Confused, Kate pulled Brad’s snapshot out of her pocket. “No, it’s... Look, you’re even wearing the same jacket.”

  In a moment, Eric recognized the shot and nodded with realization.

  Kate
took a step closer, checking around to make sure she wasn’t overheard. “Brad, it’s okay. You didn’t break any promises. Us running into each other, it was totally an accident. How can your boss fire you over that?”

  Eric rubbed his clean-shaven jaw good-naturedly. “Actually, she’s not my boss anymore. I’m picking up my last check right after this. And this is kind of awkward...but my name, it isn’t really Brad.”

  A light started to dawn for Kate. “Oh. Okay, Eric, gotcha. Of course. They had you use another name...but I’m used to hearing you with your accent. Without it, I didn’t even recognize your voice.”

  All too soon for Kate, Wissy called out from the studio door. “Judy, Eric! You’re up!”

  Though Judy headed over immediately, Eric lingered. He softened to an understanding tone as he spoke to Kate. “Look, I’m really sorry, but it’s just...I’m not that guy. I was only a face they hired for one of their Operators to hide behind. Truth is, I’m an actor, just like you, reduced to reading for embarrassments like this so I can eat.”

  Wissy’s voice rang out again. “Eric, let’s go.”

  Overwhelmed and humiliated, Kate fought tears. She could see Eric floundering about what to do. “It’s all right,” she assured. “I should have known.”

  “I feel really bad that... Are you going to be okay?”

  Understanding, Kate pulled herself together. “Go. Get the job. I’m fine.”

  A reluctant look on his face, Eric left.

  Tears spilling down her cheeks, Kate watched Eric go, all the way across the waiting area till he followed Wissy into the casting studio and closed the door.

  For a while, Kate just stood there in shock, her face streaked. He had seemed beyond perfect for her, too perfect, she realized. What it was that had made her fall so hard so fast, Kate didn’t know. All she knew was that her heart was breaking all over again, on a level far beyond the healing properties of full-fat Rocky road.

  As fast as her feet would carry her, Kate fled from the casting studios, outside where she could be alone with the complete and utter fool she felt sure she’d just made of herself.