Extreme Measures

by Brenda Harlen

  Colin ignored it, his hands and lips moving over her.

  "Shouldn't you … um … get that?" Nikki asked.

  "Get what?"

  Get what? How was she supposed to remember when he was doing such wonderful things to her body. Then it rang again, a jarring reminder.

  "The phone," she said breathlessly.

  "I'm kind of busy right now."

  "Yes, but … it might be … important."

  He raised his mouth from her breast to look at her. His eyes were dark and heavy with desire.

  "You are important, Nicole." He whispered the words against her lips, his hands moving over her curves with tantalizing slowness.

  Her eyes drifted shut as the answering machine clicked on. Colin's voice instructed the caller to leave a message, and then another voice—deep and male and unfamiliar—came through the speaker.

  "Colin, it's Ian." There was a pause, and then, "Colin, if you're there, pick up the phone."

  Colin reached over her head, and she thought he was going to lift the receiver. But he just turned off the speaker, and the voice disappeared. The intrusion forgotten, he gave her the benefit of his complete and undivided attention.

  Nikki had almost gotten used to the heat, the passion. But there was something else now. Something more. It terrified her as much as it thrilled her. His kiss was slow and devastatingly thorough, his lips moving over her cheeks, her jaw, feathering soft kisses on her skin.

  He was, she realized with some surprise, seducing her. While she thought it was a sweet gesture, she didn't need a seduction. She only needed him. She reached for him, wanting to feel his body on hers, in hers. But he wrapped his hands around her wrists and drew her arms up over her head while he continued to kiss her. The position brought his body more firmly against her, flattening her breasts beneath the solid wall of his chest, creating a spiraling ache at the juncture of her thighs where she could feel his erection pressing against her.

  "Colin … please…" She wasn't sure whether she was asking him to continue or to end the exquisite torture. She hadn't even realized he'd released her hands until she felt his own skimming over her skin. His fingertips brushed the sides of her breasts, and she shuddered—she might even have whimpered. She couldn't be sure. She wasn't sure of anything except that she'd never felt so cherished as she did in his arms at that moment.

  His hands continued their painfully slow journey over the curves and contours of her body, relentlessly stoking the fire that simmered inside her. She was ready, more than ready. But still he took his time with her, as if he would go on touching her forever. And the slow, exquisite torture was driving her over the edge.

  She wanted—no, she needed him.

  She lifted her hips off the mattress, silently seeking the fulfillment only he could give her.

  "Not yet." He murmured the words as his fingertips continued their lazy exploration.

  Her body melted back into the mattress on a soft, dreamy sigh. She'd never been touched like this before. So infinitely tenderly. So completely. His fingers skimmed over her, barely touching the flesh yet somehow branding her with fire, until her whole body was quivering, teetering on the brink. When he finally rose over her and slipped inside, she shattered.

  Her eyes closed in delirious abandon and her hands clutched at the tightly bunched muscles in his shoulders, her fingernails digging into his flesh, as the orgasm ripped through her.

  "Look at me, Nicole."

  She opened her eyes slowly, found his deep green gaze locked on her face.

  "I want you to see that it's me loving you," he told her. "I want you to see that I do love you."

  And she did. Just as she loved him. Always and forever.

  Then he began to move inside her. Long, deep strokes that slowly drove her toward that brink again. She matched him, thrust for thrust, response for demand. Breaths mingling, bodies mating, hearts merging. And in perfect synchronicity, they leaped over the edge together.

  The first rays of dawn were just starting to touch the sky when Nikki slipped from his bed the next morning. Colin got up with her, to kiss her goodbye, even though he'd be seeing her again in little more than an hour. He considered taking advantage of that hour to get some sleep, until the blinking light on the answering machine reminded him of Ian's call.

  His agent had sounded excited about something when he'd called last night, but Colin had been too preoccupied with Nikki to care. He'd meant what he'd said—she was important to him. She and Carly were the most important part of his life. But now that Nikki was gone, he might as well find out what was going on with his agent.

  He listened to the message, then picked up the phone to return the call.

  "'Lo?" a groggy voice answered on the third ring.

  "Ian, it's Colin."

  "Christ, Colin." He heard a yawn, then another curse. "It's barely five o'clock in the morning here."

  "You said to call as soon as I got the message. I just got the message—I'm calling."

  "It's 5:00 a.m.," Ian grumbled again. "Which makes it—hell, it's too early to think. What time is it in Pennsylvania?"

  "Six," Colin told him.

  "What are you doing wandering in at—forget it," he decided. "I don't want to know."

  Colin grinned. "I wasn't going to tell you anyway."

  Ian grumbled some more.

  "You had some news for me?" Colin prompted.

  "I do. And it's better than what we hoped for."

  "The Channel 12 deal?" Colin hoped so. Having a job that would keep him right here with Nikki and Carly was everything he wanted.

  "Better," Ian said again. "The new owners want to renew your contract—on very favorable terms."

  Excitement stirred in his gut. He didn't need to be told what a great opportunity it was: another chance to coach his team toward the Cup. "But—did I screw up my screen test? Did the brass at Channel 12 change their minds?"

  He'd been told the job was practically a done deal, so long as he did well on the screen test, and so long as he wanted it. Which he did. Now more than ever.

  "Colin—are you listening to me? This team will be a genuine contender next season."

  There had been a time when that was all Colin wanted, when he'd have jumped to sign on the dotted line. So much had changed over the past few weeks.

  "Okay," Ian said. "You're in shock. I can understand that. Just get your butt on a plane and get back here ASAP so we can finalize the details."

  "You can't expect me to make a decision about this at six o'clock in the morning," Colin protested weakly. He knew he was being offered an incredible opportunity, but he wouldn't make any decisions without talking to Nikki first.

  "I'll expect to hear from you later today," Ian said.

  Nikki was just gulping down her second cup of coffee when Colin came to the door. She could tell right away that he had something on his mind. Something heavy. Uneasiness stirred in her heart as she wondered what could have happened since she'd left his bed to put that look of indecision in his eyes.

  "Hi," she said softly.

  "Morning, beautiful." He leaned over to brush a kiss on her lips. His arms came around her to hold her tight, but she could feel the tension in his body.

  "Everything okay?" she asked.

  He smiled, but she wasn't fooled.

  "Sure," he agreed, and kissed her again. "I'll see you when you get home."

  Nikki picked up her purse off the table and headed out the back door, wondering why he seemed so anxious to get rid of her. Whatever was on his mind was obviously not something he could talk about in five minutes. The uneasiness began to gnaw in earnest.

  She tried to ignore her instincts. After all, they'd had an incredible weekend together. And last night, when he'd told her he loved her, her heart had practically spilled over with emotion.

  She wanted to tell him that she loved him, too, but she knew that love wasn't always the answer. She did love him, but she still couldn't count on him staying in Fairweath
er, and she couldn't bear to think about him leaving.

  Was that it? Was that why he'd seemed so distracted this morning? Had he already made plans to leave town again?

  Damn you, Colin MacIver, she cursed in the confines of her car as she drove toward the clinic. Don't you dare walk out on me. Not now. Not when I'm starting to believe in you again.

  She pulled into an empty parking spot and turned off the ignition. She blinked away the tears that had sprung unbidden to her eyes. This is ridiculous, she chided herself. Yes, it was obvious that Colin had something on his mind. But he'd given her no indication about what it was, and she wasn't going to spend the day tying herself in knots over what it might or might not mean.

  Still, that was exactly how she spent her day.

  By the time she arrived back home that evening, her nerves were so tightly strung it amazed her that they didn't snap. Even Carly's jubilant greeting failed to ease the tension. Colin, she could tell, was as wound up as she.

  "Are you going to tell me what's on your mind?" Nikki asked without preamble after they'd settled Carly into bed later that night.

  Colin lowered himself onto the sofa, then tugged at her hand to pull her down beside him. "That obvious, huh?"

  "It's been driving me crazy all day," she admitted.

  "I'm sorry."

  But he didn't immediately offer an explanation. Instead, he covered her lips with his and kissed her. For those few moments, her mind cleared of all its wild imaginings, the tension in her body eased, and she felt secure in the comfort of his arms.

  When she opened her eyes again, she found him staring at her, deeply, intently. "I love you, Nicole."

  Her heart stuttered. Could it be so bad if he'd prefaced it like that?

  Of course it could, the logical part of her brain snapped the reminder. Didn't he tell you he loved you when he walked out after that weekend five years ago?

  "Please, Colin. Just tell me what's going on."

  "I spoke to Ian Edwards today."

  The name sounded vaguely familiar. Then she remembered—it was the name of the caller who'd left the message on Colin's answering machine last night.

  "My agent," he explained. "I've been offered a new contract in Texas."

  Nikki felt as though the bottom had dropped out of her stomach. This was the beginning of the end—the imminent moment she'd told herself that she'd been prepared for. But now that it was here, now that it was staring her in the face, she realized how completely unprepared she was.

  She managed a tight smile. "You must be pleased."

  "Ian couldn't tell me often enough what an opportunity it is."

  "I'm sure it is," she agreed.

  "I didn't tell him I'd take the job," Colin said.

  A fragile blossom of hope sprouted somewhere deep inside her. She trampled it viciously. "It's what you wanted," she reminded him.

  He hesitated, then nodded. "Texas is a long way away."

  She stood up, brushed her hands down the front of her slacks. As if maintaining outward composure and dignity could hold together the heart that was shattering into tiny little pieces. "You can visit Carly whenever you're in town."

  "That wasn't quite the response I was hoping for," he told her.

  She wouldn't break down in front of him; she wouldn't let him see how torn up she was inside. "What were you expecting?"

  "I don't know. Anything but this … disinterest."

  "I'm not disinterested. I'm happy for you. Really." And she was—thrilled for him, and mourning for herself and Carly, for everything they'd lost the minute he'd received that damn phone call. "When will you be leaving?"

  He stared at her, long and hard, before responding. "Ian wants me back in Austin by the end of the week to finalize the terms of the contract, but I haven't made any plans."

  "Have you told Carly?"

  "Of course not. I wanted to talk to you and…" He faltered. "Dammit, Nicole. What about us?"

  She managed a smile. "No strings, remember?"

  "That was your rule," he said. "Maybe I want strings."

  She shook her head. "I'm not going to wait for you, Colin. I can't."

  "What if I asked you to come with me?"

  Yes. She'd follow him to the ends of the earth if that was what he wanted, but she didn't think it was. It was just that he felt obligated to her now—to her and Carly.

  She didn't want to hold him that way. Not five years ago, not now.

  "I can't."

  "You said if I'd asked you before, you would have gone with me."

  She nodded slowly. "That was a long time ago. Everything was different then."

  "Like what?" he demanded.

  "Well, for one thing, we were married."

  "So marry me."

  Chapter 15

  Nikki's heart jolted, her mind screamed yes. But she knew that one of them had to think about this rationally, and obviously it wasn't going to be Colin. It was so like him to spit out a proposal like that—reckless and impulsive, with no regard for the consequences.

  "Marry me," he said again, then smiled.

  "Don't be ridiculous, Colin."

  His smile slipped, faded. "Why is it ridiculous?"

  "Because you obviously haven't thought…" The words trailed off as he pulled a green velvet jeweler's box out of his pocket. He flipped open the lid, revealing a gorgeous thick gold band sparkling with channel-set diamonds.

  "I have thought about this, Nicole."

  She swallowed, determined to project an outward calm despite the chaos of emotions battling inside her heart. "Do you think I'm more likely to go with you if I have a ring on my finger?"

  "I want us to be together."

  She shook her head. "I can't marry you." Not again.

  "Why not?"

  Because I can't let my heart hope, and be broken, again. "Because I have to think about Carly. I have to do what's best for her."

  Although she knew it was already too late to protect her daughter from the pain she'd feel when Colin left. It didn't matter that she'd never found out Colin was her father. Carly had bonded with him and his absence would leave a void in her life. All Nikki could do was be there for her.

  "How could our getting married not be good for Carly?"

  "She needs structure and stability in her life, and your work isn't conducive to either."

  He tilted his head, studied her long and hard. "I never thought you were a coward, Nic. But you're hiding behind our daughter. You're using Carly as an excuse. I understand, because I've been there. I walked away from you once because I was terrified by how much I needed you. Now you're afraid to take a chance—"

  "I think I've earned the right to be cautious." She crossed her arms over her chest. "You walked out on me once already."

  "Is that what this is about?"

  She paced across the living room, ignored the question.

  "You said the past was forgotten," he reminded her, "but it's not. You can't forget what happened between us five years ago."

  "How am I supposed to forget?" Nikki demanded. "That little girl sleeping upstairs is a daily reminder of our marriage, and the ease with which you walked away from it."

  She paced to the other side of the room. "The irony of all of this is that I believed you had changed. I wanted to believe that you had."

  From the bookcase, she picked up the large manila envelope Shaun had delivered a few days earlier. She tossed it onto the coffee table.

  Colin picked it up, opened the flap. He pulled out the sheaf of papers, scanned through them. And tossed them back at her.

  "We're not even on the same page." His words were tinged with sadness and resignation.

  "I thought that was what you wanted. To have your paternal rights acknowledged, for Carly to know that you're her father."

  "Not like this. Not all tied up in fancy words in some legal document that—dammit all—you went to my brother for." He gave a short, humorless laugh. "I didn't want a custody agreement. I wanted everythi
ng, Nic. You and me and Carly, together. A family."

  "If you really wanted our relationship to work, you should have been honest with me."

  He seemed genuinely baffled by her statement. "About what?"

  "About whatever it is you've been hiding."

  She caught it then, just a shadow of guilt that flickered quickly in his eyes before it was gone.

  "I don't know what you mean."

  She shook her head sadly. "Do you think I haven't noticed the way you always seem to be looking over your shoulder? The way you jump every time the phone rings? Not to mention your renewed friendship with Lieutenant Creighton."

  Colin thought he'd been subtle. Nikki's comments certainly blew that theory out of the water.

  "Dylan and I have been friends forever," he said, as if that simple statement explained everything.

  "Something's going on, Colin. Something you've deliberately kept from me."

  "I've been worried about some things," he admitted, "but—"

  "What kind of things?"

  "It's not important," he hedged.

  "Damn it, Colin, it is important. This is exactly why our marriage fell apart five years ago—because we didn't talk about the things that mattered."

  "I love you, Nic. That's the only thing that really matters."

  "Love can't exist without trust," she said with finality.

  He knew there was nothing he could say or do to change her mind, so he walked out.

  He knew it was what Nikki expected him to do, and he hated to be predictable. He also knew he couldn't have stayed in that room with her one more minute without completely losing his temper. Or worse, completely falling apart.

  How could she do this? How could she be so willing to throw away everything they had together?

  It wasn't even the job, which surprised him. He'd thought it was what he wanted, but what he really wanted was to be with Nikki and Carly. He wanted his family. And it frustrated him to no end that Nikki refused to consider that possibility.

  It frustrated him more to admit there was some validity to her accusations. He had been holding out on her, but only to protect her. He didn't want her to worry that he'd brought danger to her doorstep—he hadn't wanted to consider the possibility himself. So he'd withheld information, thinking it was for the best. Instead, his deception had created yet another barrier for them to overcome. A barrier they couldn't even begin to scale until he'd resolved the situation with Duncan Parnell.