“Bud, that’s cute that you think you’ll win.”
He arched a brow. “Allow me to remind you by taking no prisoners.”
It was all in good fun because Jake did usually kill it at basketball. But I was required by the universal code of men to trash-talk.
It was what we did. What we’d always do, I had no doubt. I’d known him for years, and he was the best kind of guy. I wasn’t going to say he was like a brother, because no one could fill that role. But hell, he was damn close.
He’d been there for me when I didn’t even realize I needed someone, the friend who’d insisted I get my shit together when he saw I was about to snap.
A few years ago, he’d found me in the office at two in the morning yet again, draining another pot of coffee, obsessing over another case.
Hands parked on hips, he’d shaken his head and said, Finn, it’s time to deal with all the shit you’re not facing.
That was all he’d said.
Well, he’d said a few more things as he’d turned off my computer and dragged me out of the office. Like You’re a miserable bastard. It’s understandable, but it’s time to face the music.
I’d gotten my act together, gone to group therapy, and finally worked through the shit from losing my brother.
Yes, there were some tough issues I had to excavate in group. Nothing was easy about digging deep and serving up your insides to a shrink in front of other people. To admitting how you’d become more tightly wound, more angry, more combustible.
That’s the guy I was.
A guy nearly driven mad from loss.
I missed my brother every damn day. Still did. But thanks to Jake making sure I had a place to vent, I was finally able to process, to accept.
And eventually to move beyond the searing pain.
I learned how to come to peace with the loss.
Then I met Lily. I fell so goddamn hard I still had bruises on my ass.
Hypothetically.
Point being, I didn’t fall in love till I had dealt with the grief. And when I fell, I fell all the way into the deep end, no turning back. It was like I was finally able to access my heart again, my emotions, and hell, it was incredible to be able to do so, and even better to give them to her.
To someone who cherished what I had to offer. Who valued and honored it. Who understood who I was, and who I wanted to be.
Was I obsessed with pleasing her?
Yeah, I was.
So sue me.
But this particular fantasy she had? The one she seemed to only tell Google and Tumblr?
I was obsessed with that, too. Because I didn’t want my woman to go unfulfilled. I didn’t want her to feel deprived of a single thing. Besides, my job was to be better than Google and Tumblr. To deliver the real thing to her. To make her happy beyond measure.
But where would I find a willing participant who wasn’t a freak? Who Lily would want?
It wasn’t like I was going to get on Craigslist or post an ad on Tinder. Wait, did Tinder even have ads for seeking a third person?
Those questions raced through my head as we played basketball and I missed shot after shot. When we finished, Jake smacked my shoulder. “Destroyed you.”
Hmm. Seems he did.
“Must be a blue moon,” I joked.
He flipped me the bird. “Admit it—you suck at literally everything.”
“I am awesome at everything. Except, admittedly, today’s game.” I held up a finger. “But in my defense, my mind was elsewhere.”
He mirrored me, holding up a finger in mockery. “There’s no asterisk that says he was distracted when we’re keeping score. Besides, what could be on your mind other than this game? I’m guessing it’s not Adam’s deal?”
“Nah, you’re the man to take point on those.”
“As I do. Delivering at one hundred ten percent.” He took a beat, gave me a thoughtful look. “So what’s going on?”
I shrugged and smiled. “What can I say? My mind was on Lily.”
Jake smirked. “Well, that’s understandable. You’re probably going to go home and screw like bunnies all night. It’s a wonder you make it into work at all.”
I flashed him an evil grin. “You’re right. It is one of the eight wonders of the modern world. And speaking of our record, this weekend I’ll be accepting my award for excellence in stamina and endless pleasure delivery at the Men’s Conference of Gods in Bed.”
“Asshole,” he muttered.
I clapped his shoulder. “Don’t worry. We’ll find a woman for you soon.”
Jake met his last girlfriend online, and she’d seemed perfect. At first, Debbie had wanted to take it slow. But after three months, she’d demanded he put a ring on it. He wasn’t ready, so he’d asked if they could see where things went. Debbie had declared no, since her clock was ticking.
That was that, and since then he’d been taking a break from the apps.
“In the meantime, just tell me your stories and I’ll live vicariously,” Jake said.
“Pervert. But if I told you—and I won’t—I’d have plenty, because this weekend I plan to spend every waking second pleasuring my woman.”
For that, I earned the double bird.
I laughed. “Sorry, not sorry.”
“Yeah, you better not be sorry. Every man is jealous of you.”
I tilted my head, curious. “What do you mean by that?”
He shot me a look like it was as obvious as tomato sauce on a new dress shirt. “Have you seen your fiancée? She’s beautiful. I don’t know why she fell for your ugly ass. And somehow, she tolerates you, too. You better not be dumb enough to ever let go of her.”
That’s when the heavens parted and the filthy angels clanged their cymbals against my head, calling out, You idiot. The answer is right in front of you.
The answer was under my nose.
If I was going to try to give Lily her fantasy, she wouldn’t want a threesome with a stranger. She’d want someone she could trust. She was a private woman, and naturally, she’d want a third person who’d keep the secret of her desires. She trusted Jake. She trusted my friendship with him. She knew the man would go to the ends of the earth for me.
And Jake? He was a good contender. No strings attached to anyone else.
Clearly, he thought Lily was hot. No surprise there.
Not to mention he was a kinky bastard. Hell, he was an everything bastard. The man once said he was an omnivore when it came to women.
But I’d have to find a way to broach it with Lily first.
So I’d bring up the idea in a setting with the right lubricant.
The toy shop.
* * *
We left the house together. “You look beautiful,” I told her, unable to take my eyes off my woman.
She gestured to her tight skirt. “Your favorite kind. Skintight.”
I grinned. “It’s like you know me so well.”
She smiled back as I opened the car door for her. “I do know you well.” She set her palm on my chest, tilting her head, her eyes inquisitive. “And I love knowing you.”
My heart thumped harder, as I wrapped my arm around her waist, bringing her close. “There is nothing I love more than being known by you.”
She leaned into me, sighing contentedly. “Sometimes I think about how lucky I am that I was in that bar that night.”
I laughed. “And I think how lucky I am that that receiver had slippery hands.”
“What would we have done without one of the worst plays ever in football to bring us together?” she teased.
I let go of her waist and shuddered. “Don’t speak of something so terrible. Just be glad for the non-catch catch.”
“Always. But I also like to think I’d have found you still.”
“Baby, you and I were meant to be.”
“We were. We are.”
She slid into the vehicle, and I shut the door, heading to the driver’s side. As I hopped into the car, I reminded myself of how lucky
I was in so many ways. Because this deep connection, this intense bond we had, was the foundation for our life together, but our hot-as-sin nights too.
Without this openness, we wouldn’t be able to play the games we played.
To talk the way we did.
And to shop for toys.
This was Lily’s favorite kind of shopping trip.
Maybe it would help me too—help me with my obsession.
Or maybe I needed to set it aside. After all, she spent most of the car ride chatting about wedding details. Who was coming, the appetizers we’d serve, the music she wanted.
Maybe fantasies had no part in the life we were building.
But wasn’t sex part of our life?
* * *
As we walked into our regular store, she glanced toward the register, where a dark-haired guy worked behind the counter.
“I didn’t know Penn Badgley worked at Eden,” she joked.
“Got a little celebrity crush?” I asked.
“Aww,” she said with a that’s so sweet grin. “You know who Penn Badgley is. Just admit it now—you’re a closet Gossip Girl fan.”
“Smartass,” I said, smacking her rear for her impudence. “I’ve seen You on Netflix, and I also saw Horrible Bosses. So there. No need for Gossip Girl.”
She tilted her head. “He wasn’t in Horrible Bosses.”
“That is true, but Jennifer Aniston’s character invoked his name when she said”—I cleared my throat and tried on a feminine voice—“I fingered myself so hard to that Penn Badgley guy, I broke a nail.’”
Lily shot me a naughty grin, laughing. “Jennifer Aniston’s character has good taste.”
If I were a jealous guy, I’d say something like, As long as you don’t finger yourself to fantasies of the guy at the register, we’re all good. Instead, I said, “Feel free to break a nail later while you play with yourself in front of me.”
Her shoulders straightened, and she snapped her gaze to me, like I’d shocked her. “You’re such a bad boy.”
I brushed my lips against her neck, whispering in her ear, “And you love it.”
She shivered. “I absolutely do.”
As we strolled through the shelves of vibrators, she grabbed a blue dolphin and pretended it was a mic, adopting an infomercial tone. “And now, may we present the dolphin. Twelve speeds, fluttering nose, and when you use it, you’ll come, singing its praises under the sea.”
A grin tugged at my lips as I handed her a butterfly, ready for her comedy routine. “Why don’t you tell us about this guy?” I asked like a TV host.
She went all theatrical, arms waving, voice sophisticated. “Put this on and you’ll transform.”
Reaching for a silver bullet, I placed the device in her palm, ready for her report. “And now, Lily, please tell the audience at home, what does this little number do?”
She held it up to the light as if studying the sleek pleasure machine. Lily cleared her throat and lowered her voice to a stage whisper. “Horny at the office?” she asked. “Slip this little magic pill under your skirt and ease that ache.”
Cracking up, I yanked her to where a rack of devil and angel costumes hid us from the register, pulled her to me, and claimed her mouth in a hot, quick kiss. “Do you know that I’m going to have both the funniest and dirtiest wife?”
She lifted her chin, pouted her lips. “I’m sure that’s what you dreamed of as a kid.”
“Ha. Let’s hope not. But it’s definitely perfect for me now. You’re perfect for me now and forever.” I slid a hand around her ass.
She wiggled against my hand, and I couldn’t resist. I inched my fingers under her skirt. Even though it was tight, I could still get my hand under it. God bless skirts and her commitment to wearing them nearly every day. Access was one of my guilty pleasures with her, except I never felt guilty about pleasure. Not when I could graze my fingers against her upper thighs.
“Finn,” she chided, “we’re in public.”
“As if that has stopped you before.” My hand inched higher, my fingers on a fast track for the firm swell of her cheeks. I pinched, and she groaned quietly, squirming against my palm. “You’re such an ass man.”
“No. I’m an everything man with you,” I said, licking her neck, tasting her skin.
She shuddered as my fingers explored farther, touching the panel of her panties. She was already damp. This could work.
“And you love everything, too,” I added.
“You know I do,” she murmured. “Love that filthy mouth of yours most of all. Love the way you tell me how you want me.”
“You want it here, don’t you? Right in this store?”
Her eyes said yes. “I do.”
“I could take you into the dressing room and have you with my fingers,” I said, trying to set the stage for where I wanted this scene to go.
Her eyes darted around the store. Mostly empty. The Penn Badgley lookalike was ringing someone up. This was perfect timing.
“Can you be fast?” she whispered.
I squeezed her ass hard. “Can you be fast? That’s the question.”
“I promise.”
I narrowed my eyes, issuing a command. “You’ve got three minutes to come, or I’ll stop. Got it?”
Trembling, Lily nodded her yes, grabbed a devil costume, and went straight to the dressing room. Seconds later, I followed her there, closing the half door. It was like a bathroom stall—anyone who walked past could tell there were two people in here.
Even better.
She liked the thrill that she might be seen.
My hand was up her skirt in seconds flat. My fingers glided inside her panties, then in her. She was soaked, and my shaft jumped to iron-spike level. “Be quiet. Don’t want anyone to hear you,” I whispered.
She swiveled her hips, grinding shamelessly down against my fingers. “I don’t,” she whispered, “but what if we get caught?”
She gushed as she asked the question. She loved the idea of being caught.
Lust tore through my body as I crooked my fingers inside her. “Or what if someone watched?”
She gasped, her lips forming an O, her eyes widening.
Yes, now we were getting somewhere.
I kept going, heading down this path. “What if Penn Badgley walked by?”
She bit down on her bottom lip, as if fighting like hell not to cry out. But a broken gust of pleasure seemed to cross her lips. And her hips, dear God, her sexy hips were grinding and rocking against my hand.
“You’d like that, wouldn’t you?” I asked.
She nodded, murmuring a shuddery, “Yes.”
“What if he stopped, opened the door, and saw how hard you like it with my fingers?”
She trembled, her hips going wild, bucking.
“Bet my dirty girl would like to show him how hard she comes, let him hear how loud she is.”
She groaned louder, and I slammed my free hand against her mouth, covering her. “You would, wouldn’t you?”
A nod against my palm was her answer.
“You’d be so goddamn loud,” I whispered. “He’d know you like it in public. He’d know you like it every way I give it to you.”
Her eyes squeezed shut. Her expression tightened. That look of approaching bliss spread across her face.
Now was my chance to push, to find out. “Bet you’d even like it if he wanted to take you too.”
She tensed all over, stilled for a long, terrifying moment. Had I gone too far? Suggested too much?
But then she was shaking, falling apart on my hand here in the store with the celebrity lookalike no more than twenty feet away.
I hadn’t gone too far at all.
Her skin was flushed, the sexiest shade of pink I’d ever seen.
When she opened her eyes and I slid my fingers out of her, she trembled, grabbed my arm like she’d fall if she didn’t hold on to me, and simply whispered, “Wow.”
“You liked that, didn’t you?”
She licked her lips. “Do you really have to ask?”
I raised my hand, wiggled my fingers in front of my face, and sucked her juices off, savoring the taste of her.
* * *
We bought the silver bullet, the devil costume, and a new dolphin, too, since she said hers was losing power.
In the parking lot, I opened the door for her, then stopped her with a hand on her waist.
I met her eyes. “When I said earlier, before we came here, that you know me so well? Remember that?”
“Of course. It was only an hour ago. My memory is still good.”
My expression went serious. “I meant it, Lily. You know me. I know you. We can share anything.”
She swallowed roughly, a nervous look in her eyes. “Is that what you meant when you said it?”
I nodded fiercely. “Yes, it’s part of it. This is what we can be for each other. We can share. And I don’t just mean whether we should register for a pasta maker, or if we want pop music or hip hop at the wedding. We are so much more than that. We can share hopes, dreams, wishes. I want you to know me. Always.”
“I want that too,” she said, a little husky. Then she quirked up her lips. “Also, we don’t need a pasta maker.”
“Damn straight,” I said with a laugh, then I let go of the laughter. “And there’s something else I want you to know.”
“What is it?” she asked, her voice rising. Maybe with worry. But she didn’t need to worry about a damn thing. I would always take care of her in every single way.
I brushed my thumb along her jaw, lifting her chin, so our eyes locked. “You need to know that with me, you can have anything.”
“I can?” Her voice rose higher than usual, nerves lining it.
“Yes,” I said emphatically. “Anything. All you have to do is ask.”
She didn’t ask for her dirty internet fantasy right then and there. She pressed her lips together, looked off in the distance at the darkening sky, then back at me, meeting my eyes.
“Can you take me to the club? The one where I told you all my fantasies?”
Everything was coming together.
* * *
The After Dark Collection: Books 1-3 in The Gift Series Page 4
