by Cynthia Eden
Right. He hadn’t brought Keith up to speed yet. Mostly because time had passed in a wild blur. “The man who attacked you—the man I believe left you in Carly Shay’s apartment—is dead.”
Relief had Keith’s shoulders slumping. “Thank God. I-I was discharged thirty minutes ago, and when I saw you here, I just had to stop and ask…I was afraid to go home thinking that Barclay might come after me…”
“The evidence I’ve collected didn’t indicate that Ethan Barclay was your abductor.”
“But—but I told you…he threatened me.” Keith swiped a hand over his face.
Victor hesitated. “I was going to wait and have this talk down at the FBI branch. If you’ve been discharged, as you say…then how about we head to the Bureau’s office?”
But Keith violently shook his head. “No, you tell me, now. Tell me what’s going on! If Ethan Barclay didn’t attack me, then who did?”
“I believe it was a man named Curtis Thatch.”
Keith blinked.
“According to intel I’m still gathering, Curtis has actually racked up quite the body count. After abducting you, he also took Ethan Barclay. He planned to kill Ethan, but, well, Ethan had other ideas…”
Keith’s shaking fingers rose and touched his temple. “Ethan killed him. He killed this—Curtis Thatch?”
“Yes, doctor. That’s exactly what happened.” His eyes swept over the shrink’s face. “You look really pale to me. Are you sure that you have the okay to be discharged?”
Keith stumbled back. “I-I’m fine.”
The guy didn’t look so fine. “I want you to come with me,” Victor said. “We’ll talk at the Bureau office.”
Keith’s hand fell. “Where is Carly?”
“I’m not at liberty to say that right now.”
Keith lunged forward and grabbed Victor’s shirt. “Is she all right?”
Wow. The doctor seriously needed to calm the hell down. “Ease up. Just what meds did they give you in this place?”
Keith blinked, then he looked down at his hands—hands that had fisted Victor’s shirt. “I just…with everything that has happened…all the time in the hospital…I started to worry.”
“Right. Worrying about your patient’s safety, that’s normal and—”
“No.” Keith’s voice was a hoarse whisper. “I shouldn’t say it…I shouldn’t…confidentiality…” Then he began rubbing his temple again.
Alarms were going off in Victor’s head. This guy—what was he holding back?
But then Keith squeezed his eyes shut. “Was she there when that man—that Curtis Thatch was killed?”
“Yes.” He wanted to see where the doc was going with this bit.
Keith sucked in a sharp breath. “Then you need to bring Carly Shay in for an immediate psychiatric evaluation. The woman…” His eyes opened. “She could be on the verge of a psychotic break. She had one before, when she was seventeen years old. Carly Shay can be very, very dangerous, and for some time now, I’ve been concerned that she might be letting her…darker…urges take over.”
“Carly Shay didn’t kill Curtis Thatch.” They should be clear on that. “And if you’re saying she’s some kind of imminent threat, if she’s said something to you in a session that makes you believe she could be dangerous…then you know that is information that you should reveal to me. That’s not protected by client privilege at all.”
Keith glanced down at the gleaming floor.
“Has she?” Victor said, his voice snapping out. “Has Carly Shay ever said something to you that makes you believe the woman could have plans to kill?” He’d seen Carly as the victim. But…
“Yes,” Keith admitted softly. “She has. And I’m afraid now…now she’ll be pushed over the edge…”
***
Carly opened her eyes and saw the sunlight streaming through the window. She stretched, her body was full of delicious aches, and her hands brushed against Ethan’s warm body.
Her head turned so that she could better see him. His dark hair was tousled, his tanned skin such a stark contrast to the white sheets. His eyes were closed, and she noticed just how incredibly long his lashes really were.
Her gaze slid over him. He was on his back, and the sheet had dipped low at his waist. She’d touched his scars last night—those on his stomach and chest. She’d felt them beneath her fingers, but, even when they’d been in the bath, the lights had been out so she hadn’t seen them, not fully.
Now she did, and Carly felt tears sting her eyes. There were so many scars. Long and thick. Deep from the look of them.
Ethan had come very, very close to dying.
A tear slid down her cheek.
“Don’t.”
At his gravel-rough order, her gaze jerked back to his face. Only this time, his eyes were wide open and on her.
Ethan’s hand lifted and his fingers slid over her cheek, catching the tear that had fallen there. “Don’t cry for me, baby. The scars—they don’t hurt.”
“You almost died.” But she wasn’t just talking about the older attack by Daniel Duvato. She was talking about—dear God, had it just been yesterday? “You were in that chair, and he was going to kill you. If I—if I hadn’t gone back to the brownstone…”
“Why did you come back?”
She drew in a shuddering breath. “Because I knew you hadn’t left me. Victor was so sure you had, but it didn’t fit. Not for us.”
“You had faith in me.” He seemed…surprised. Why?
Her body moved closer to his. “You think you’re the only one who knows what love is, Ethan?”
His eyes widened. “What are you saying?”
“I’m saying…I should have taken you up on that offer sooner. Me and you, disappearing. Starting over. Letting the past go and moving on.” Seeing what a future together would be like. “You’re back in my life, and I don’t want to let you go.”
His eyes glinted down at her. “I want to hear the words, too.”
She smiled. Smiling seemed to come so much easier to her, as long as Ethan was near. “I love you.”
“Fuck yes.” He dragged her closer and kissed her. Deep and hot and just the way she wanted.
She stretched against him, her body feeling so at ease with him. Everything was easy with him. It was—
Ethan had pulled away. He stared down at her for a moment, and his face hardened.
“What is it?” Carly asked him, hesitant now.
“I saw your face. When I killed Curtis, I saw you, baby.”
She swallowed. Carly had known this would be coming, sooner or later. She’d rather hoped for later.
“How can you really love someone,” Ethan began, voice slow, rough, “when you fear him so much?”
“Ethan…”
“I scare you.”
She wasn’t going to lie to him. If this was going to work, if they were going to work, there could be no lies. “Yes.”
He flinched.
She kissed him. Hard. “That doesn’t mean I can’t still love you.”
But he pulled away. He grabbed his jeans and jerked them on and marched toward the window.
“When you love someone…” His gaze was on the city. “That person is supposed to make you feel safe. Protected.”
She wrapped a sheet around her body and sat on the edge of the bed. Carly wished they could go back to some cuddling. Maybe a little pillow talk. But they had to get past this. Or there wouldn’t be any going forward for them. “You do make me feel safe.”
He glanced back at her. “And I scare you to death.”
“Violence scares me.” She shot to her feet and confronted him, knowing exactly how important this moment was for them. “Seeing a man’s throat get cut open, right in front of me, hell, yes, that shit scares me. If it didn’t, I don’t think I’d be normal.”
He laughed. Bitterly. “We both know I’m not normal.”
She grabbed his arms and let the sheet fall. So what if someone glanced up—way up—and caught a
show? “Stop it.”
A furrow appeared between his brows.
“Stop always playing the bad guy. I get that you like the role, but with me, leave it at the door.”
His eyes widened.
“I know what you’re capable of doing, Ethan. I know better than just about anyone. And you really want to know what scares me most about you? It’s not the violence because I know you would never hurt me. That’s not who you are. But…I know…I know just how far you’d go for me. I know you’d fight, you’d kill—” A hard smile curved her lips. “And I know you have done all of that, for me. To protect me. And it scares the hell out me, knowing that I’m the one who pushes you so far.”
He didn’t say anything.
She realized her nails were digging into his arm. “Do I push you too far?” Because that was her fear. For her, he’d do anything. Even lose his soul in order to keep her safe.
She knew there were no lines he wouldn’t cross.
For me.
That knowledge did scare her.
Because, deep inside, she had long ago realized her dark truth, too. For Ethan, there were no lines that she wouldn’t cross.
“You don’t push me,” Ethan said, voice sounding almost rusty. “You...make me feel whole. When I didn’t even know that part of me was missing.”
She stood on her tip-toes and brushed a gentle kiss over his cheek. “We can make it,” she whispered. “I know we can.”
Because she didn’t want to be with anyone else. Sure, she’d survive without Ethan, but she wouldn’t be happy. And there would always be that empty spot inside of her, a spot he’d claimed in her heart so long ago.
“I would do anything for you.” His words were a confession, and she realized that. “No laws I wouldn’t break. No sins I wouldn’t commit. Can you really live with that?”
“Ethan—”
A phone rang. She glanced around, the sound oddly jarring, and then she saw Ethan’s phone on the floor.
They should ignore the call. Just forget it, but…
But we nearly died yesterday. What if that’s the FBI? What if something else happened?
She was the one who grabbed his phone. And she saw Sophie’s picture on the screen. She handed the phone to Ethan, suddenly becoming highly conscious of her nudity.
Ethan didn’t answer the phone. His fingers curled around it, but he kept staring at Carly. “Can you live with what my love means? Can you live with me?”
The phone stopped ringing.
“I don’t want to try living without you again.” She’d meant exactly what she’d said before. “I love you, Ethan. And I can handle your darkness.” She wasn’t saying it would be easy. But the one man on earth who made her feel protected and cherished—it was the one man she’d seen kill.
Twisted? Insane?
Maybe.
But maybe not.
“Can you handle mine?” Carly asked him.
His phone started ringing again. She looked at the screen. She could see Sophie’s face once more.
“Something could be wrong,” Carly said. “Answer it.”
His gaze was still on her. “You don’t have a darkness, baby. You have light. A bright, fucking shining light that makes my whole world better. And if anyone else says different, I will kick their asses.”
The phone stopped ringing.
“I don’t want to scare you again,” he rasped, “but, baby, you always come first for me. Your safety—that’s it for me. If you’re put at risk, you know how I’ll respond.”
She did. And it was the same way that she would respond.
Someone started pounding on the door then. They both turned at once, and Ethan rushed from the bedroom. She grabbed for her discarded gown and yanked it over her head. She hurried after him—
The suite’s door was shoved open before Ethan could reach it.
She caught sight of Victor Monroe. Behind him stood a guy who appeared to be a hotel employee—based on his uniform. And—Sophie was there too, crowding in with the men.
“What the hell?” Ethan snarled. “I was coming to the damn door! You didn’t have to bust in!” He glared at them. “What did you think, I was attacking her in here?”
The hotel employee still had a keycard in his hand. He yanked the keycard back and leapt behind Sophie.
Victor stepped into the suite. His gaze went first to Ethan, then to Carly. “Actually, I thought it might be the other way around.”
“What?” Ethan shook his head.
“I thought…” Victor continued as he advanced. Only he wasn’t advancing toward Ethan. He was closing in on Carly. “I thought she might try to hurt you.”
Goosebumps covered her at those words.
“Hold the hell up,” Ethan said, raising his hand. “You were worried about me? Me?” He laughed. “Sweet. Really, touching, agent, but—”
Victor’s jaw hardened. “Look, asshole, it goes with the badge, okay? You find out that someone could be in danger, you react.”
Ethan’s gaze raked him. “You seriously think I’m in danger, from Carly?” He waited a bit, then bluntly stated, “Not happening.”
“I don’t think…” Victor began carefully as his gaze slipped to Carly. She felt far too exposed in her gown. “I don’t think you know her as well as you believe.”
Ethan stepped in front of her, shielding Carly with his body. “I know her plenty well.” He glanced back at her. “Baby, why don’t you go get dressed? I’ve got this guy.”
She started to back away.
“You have a history of hurting men, don’t you, Ms. Shay?” Victor asked, his voice ever so careful. Almost…sad.
She stopped retreating. After all, there were some things that she couldn’t run from in this world. Carly knew that now. She stepped around Ethan and she caught a glimpse of Sophie’s worried face. The other woman moved forward quickly and caught Ethan’s hand. “The next time I call you,” Sophie snapped. “Answer the phone!” Victor’s voice had been soft, but Sophie’s was hard with an edge—of worry.
This isn’t good.
Ethan pulled away from Sophie and focused on Victor once more. “What’s going on? I told you I’d come in today to answer your questions and sign your damn paperwork.”
“I’m not here for you.” Victor crossed his arms over his chest and his expression hardened even more. “This time, I came for Carly. It’s over, ma’am. Your shrink talked. I know your secrets, and I know just what you’ve done.” Again, his voice wasn’t rough, even though his face sure was. He was talking softly to her, and Carly thought that she saw a flash of pity in his eyes.
He was doing his job, but the guy didn’t like it.
A shudder worked over Carly’s body. “No.”
“I want you to come downtown with me.”
She shook her head. “No, you’ve got it wrong. I-I don’t know what Dr. Nelson told you—”
“I have to admit, when I first saw the video of Quincy’s death, I totally bought that you were a victim, but then the shrink started talking, telling me about what you’d threatened, about the men you’d hurt.”
The men she’d—
“You don’t like for your lovers to get too clingy, do you? When they push for too much, when they push for what you don’t want them to have…you turn on them.”
It was hard to breathe. “Stop.” This wasn’t happening.
But Victor didn’t stop. He continued, in that soft, almost sympathetic voice. “That’s what the doctor said about you. He said you confessed all in your sessions.”
She hadn’t. Not to Nelson. She’d always been careful with him. Hadn’t that been one of the reasons she terminated therapy? If you couldn’t share openly with a shrink, what was the point? And she’d shared so very little in her sessions with him because he’d made her feel so on edge.
Victor turned his attention to Ethan. “Did you know that she was put in a psychiatric hospital when she was seventeen, after she took a knife and attacked a twenty-one year old
man named Jon Mathers?”
Jon’s image flashed in her mind.
Carly shook her head once, violently. “Nelson shouldn’t have…told you that.”
“She was deemed to be a threat to others, so she was locked up.” Victor squared off with Ethan. “Did you know that about her? Because I don’t think you did. I don’t think you knew that they had to restrain her because she kept attacking the staff in that facility. That they had to strap her down and drug her because she was so dangerous.”
Ethan’s face bleached of color. He shoved Victor out of his way. “Carly?”
She blinked, refusing to let any tears fall from her eyes. “I didn’t want you to know…”
“She was a victim,” Sophie fired at the FBI agent. “Of course, it stands to reason that she had an episode after the attack by Quincy. I don’t even know the particulars of that case with Jon Whatever-His-Name was, but I’m betting it was probably some guy who got a little too handsy with her. He gave her a flashback to her attack…”
Everyone knows now. Everyone.
“And she snapped. She reacted. I’ve seen other abuse victims respond the same way. It’s survival.” Fury dripped in Sophie’s voice. “And you, Agent Monroe, should know better. You should—”
“I did think the same thing, ma’am. At first. I’ve been in this business a long time, and I’ve seen a lot of shit go down.” Victor’s breath expelled in a low rush. “And, unfortunately, one of the things I’ve seen is that victims…they can be changed. Their pain makes them into something new. Predators.”
“I’m not,” Carly whispered.
“Defending yourself doesn’t mean you’re a predator!” Sophie threw at him.
“No, but targeting other prey does.” Victor rocked back on his heels. “Dr. Nelson has been tracking Carly, since she became his patient. He discovered three other men that Carly dated…men who have since gone missing over the years.”
Ethan had moved closer to her. He lifted his hand and touched Carly’s cheek. “I should have been with you.”
“Tracking her?” Sophie repeated. “Did you say Nelson was tracking her? That sounds obsessed to me. I think you need to—”
“I checked out his story. Those men have vanished. Without a freaking trace. And their only link is Ms. Shay here. According to her shrink, she admitted to wanting to hurt those men. Wanting them to feel part of the pain she carried.”
