I walk until I find my favourite place in this whole park, and I sit down under the tree that’s become my spot.
I can see the lake, the bridge and seemingly endless stretches of green from here.
I lean my head back against the trunk of the tree and close my eyes.
CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR
Blaire
I don’t think I can deal with all of that again.
I’m not sure I’ve got it in me to turn up in some random location again tomorrow and endure all of that once more.
It feels like rejection to me. I know it’s stupid to think of it like that, since Beckett had no idea I was even there, but that’s how it feels.
I miss him so much and I want him so badly, but I feel as though I’m stuck on glue.
I don’t know what to do or how to find my way to him.
I’m right here, within his reach, and he doesn’t even know it – and I don’t even know if he’s interested.
This whole thing is a mess.
Hordes of screaming women and beefy security guards are normal for him.
This couldn’t be further from my normal.
I don’t know how he breathes here.
That’s when it occurs to me that I actually do know how he breathes.
He told me where he goes to escape it all, and in an instant I’m desperate to go there too.
I might have only been in this city five minutes, but I already feel like I’m being suffocated.
It’s me that needs to breathe this time.
I pull out my cell phone and dial for a cab.
When it arrives I explain to the driver that I’m looking for a park with a lake and a bridge.
I’m probably pushing shit uphill with the grossly limited description, but it’s all I’ve got.
“I’m sorry, I really have no idea where it is.”
“There’s only one place like that around here that I can think of,” he tells me. “You want me to take you there?”
“Please.” I lean back into the soft seat and smile to myself in relief.
At least one thing seems to be going my way today.
***
“That’ll be twenty-four fifty, ma’am.”
I pay him the money and step out of the car.
I take a deep breath and I feel the corners of my mouth turn up in appreciation.
This place reminds me of home.
Wide open spaces.
Quiet.
Tranquil.
I can see why Beckett likes it here so much. This is a good place to get away from it all.
There’s hardly anyone around either. Kids are at school and most people are at work.
I stroll around the gardens, running my fingers over flowers and plants until I feel all the stress leaving my body.
I still am no closer to figuring out what I’m going to do next, but I feel calmer at least, and that’s something.
I’m admiring the distant view of the lake when my phone starts ringing in my pocket.
I slide it out and answer it.
“Hey, Jen.”
She yawns. “Hey, I can’t sleep. I was worried about you.”
“Why are you worrying about me for?”
She huffs out a laugh. “You seem to be forgetting that ending a marriage and flying to the other side of the world to chase down a movie star aren’t exactly everyday occurrences.”
“I’m fine,” I promise her.
“Did you get any closer to finding him?”
I sigh, a big, heavy sigh. “No. I went to his appearance, but it was insane. Like, you have no idea the level of crazy that was going down at that thing.”
“That sucks.”
“I don’t know what to do now. He has another one tomorrow but I’m not going to be able to get close to him, and his schedule said he was going to fly out the day after that… I tried emailing his manager, but I can’t check my emails from this phone so I have no idea if I even got a reply.”
I suck in a breath and carry on.
“But even if I did get a response, it’s not as though he’s just going to hand out his cell phone number to me, or give me his address – they’ll just think I’m another obsessed fan.”
“Breathe,” Jen demands.
I do as am I’m told.
“Good.” She praises my deep, long breaths. “Now, give me your login details and I’ll check for you right now before you burst a blood vessel.”
I rattle off my information and do my best to focus on the flowers, the trees and the lake that I’m slowly making my way towards.
I hear her tapping away on the keyboard and a few clicks of her mouse.
“Okay, I’m in.”
“His name was John something. Just scroll through the inbox.”
“Scrolling… damn, girl, you need to stop doing so much online shopping.”
“Just keep on scrolling,” I mutter. “I don’t need that kind of negativity in my life.”
She laughs. “Oh yes, here it is!”
“He replied?”
“Dear Ms. Miller,” she reads out in a put-on man’s voice, reasons for which I’m not sure. “I’m sure you can understand my reluctance to believe your story, obviously we get this kind of thing a lot. I’ll be sure to pass your name on to Beckett when I get a chance. Sincerely, John Collins.”
“That’s code for ‘it’s never going to happen’,” I grumble.
“You never know, he did say he’d pass it on.”
“Yeah and I just saw a pig fly past.”
“I’m sorry, B.”
“Don’t be.” I sigh. “I didn’t expect it to work. I’m just another fan girl in their eyes.”
“Beckett Thorn is lucky to have a fan girl like you.”
My mouth turns up into a small, sad, smile.
“I better let you get back to sleep. I’m fine here, really. I’m just going for a walk to clear my head.”
“Don’t give up, okay? I’ll talk to you in the morning. Well, morning for me.”
“Sounds good, Jen. Thank you for everything.”
I hang up the call and tuck the phone back into my back pocket. I’ve nearly reached the edge of the lake now.
It’s so beautiful out here. I decide I’ll walk one lap of the lake and then I’m leaving.
I’m what I guess is about halfway around when I see him.
The man that looks like Beckett.
He’s sitting under a tree, his back leaning against the trunk.
He’s still a way off from me, but he looks so eerily similar it gives me goose bumps.
“I’m losing my mind,” I mutter to myself.
Still, I can’t help but stare as I get closer and closer to the man under the tree.
It’s a mirage. It has to be.
But the closer I look, the more I see. This man is wearing dark jeans and a white t-shirt.
Just like Beckett was wearing today.
That’s when I hear it – his perfect voice – and it’s saying my name.
I gasp and take another step closer.
CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE
Beckett
The shrill ring of my phone pulls me from my half-asleep state. I haven’t drifted off, but I’m more relaxed than I have been in days.
I’m expecting it to be John – telling me to get my ass back to the car, so when I see the name ‘Trevor’ on the screen instead, I’m pleasantly surprised.
“Trevor, man, tell me you’ve got something, please,” I say by way of greeting.
“I’ve got something,” he replies.
“Thank fuck.”
“She got on a plane a few days ago. Last-minute booking.”
I sit up a little straighter. “What? You lost Blaire? Where the fuck did she go?”
“She’s –”
“Right here,” a voice interrupts from behind me and I drop the phone to the ground.
I know that voice.
I’d know that voice anywhere.
I slowly turn arou
nd.
“Hey, Beck,” she says shyly.
She’s right there in front of me in all her glorious perfection.
She looks even better than I remember.
“Holy shit,” I say as I scramble to my feet.
“I think that’s my line,” she says.
“Are you really here right now?” I reach out blindly for the space between us. “Or are you one of those things that people see in the desert?”
She giggles softly. “That’s exactly what I thought when I saw you sitting here.”
I can hear noise coming from my phone which is still on the ground. I hold one finger up to her, asking her to wait one second, and I bend down to retrieve the phone, never once taking my eyes off her.
I’m scared if I do, she’ll disappear.
“She’s here,” I tell Trevor, my voice shaking. “I found her.”
Blaire clears her throat and raises a brow as if to say ‘did you now?’.
“She found me,” I amend and she smiles, satisfied with my answer.
God, she’s so sexy.
“Well I’ll be damned,” he replies down the line, but at this point I couldn’t care less about what he might have to say. The job’s done.
“Don’t worry, you’ll still get paid,” I tell him before I hit the end button and shove the phone into my back pocket.
“Are you really here?” I ask again, because frankly, I’ve imagined her everywhere, and maybe I’m just sleep deprived right now. Hell, maybe I’m dreaming.
“I’m really here,” she says with an unsure shrug, as though maybe she’s not sure that she should be here.
I take a step closer to her and she does the same.
We’re only a foot apart now – so close that I can smell her perfume.
It’s her.
“I had to come,” she says as I take another step, closing the gap between us. “and I don’t expect you to still want me, I mean… you might not even be single…”
“Blaire,” I say, and a word has never sounded so sweet.
“I’ve seen the pictures of you with Jamie, and if you’re together, I don’t want to get in the way of that, but I had to come and see for myself.”
“Blaire,” I repeat. I don’t want to have to tell her to shut up, but I need her to stop talking so that I can start.
“I left Harvey,” she blurts out, and all of a sudden I’m not so keen for her to stop talking. “He was an asshole and I deserved better, so I Ieft him, and I haven’t even stopped to think about any of this… I just got on a plane and came for you like I should have done a year ago.”
“I should never have left a year ago. Not without you.”
“I wish I’d gone with you. Every single day I regretted staying,” she confesses in a whisper, tears pooling in her eyes, and I can’t stand it a minute longer.
One of my hands grips the back of her neck while the other finds her hip.
I dip my head and press my lips to hers. I feel her gasp into my mouth before she kisses me back…. a year of pent-up emotion flowing between us.
I kiss her with everything I’ve been feeling; frustration, hurt, relief.... I kiss her like I’ve wanted to every day since she walked out of my life.
She pulls away from me, her breath coming in short pants against my face.
“What about you and Jamie?” she asks, her voice quiet.
“There is no me and Jamie. There never has been and never will be.”
She lets her forehead fall to my shoulder as she clings to me. She feels so good, so familiar – even though the concept of that is utterly ridiculous – I haven’t known her long enough to build familiar.
“You have no idea how happy I am to hear you say that,” she finally says.
“You have no idea how happy I am to see you.”
She tips her head back up to look at me, her brown eyes smouldering.
“I think I’m crazy in love with you.”
My heart thumps in my chest so hard I’m sure she’ll be able to hear it.
“How crazy?” I growl in her ear, my teeth grazing over her earlobe.
“Crazy enough to come all the way here...” She bites down on her bottom lip and it takes everything I have not to groan. I’ve missed that lip. “What about you?” she asks me nervously.
“I’m crazy enough to love you back.”
Her face morphs into a blinding smile and just like that, it was all worth it. All the sleepless nights, all the inner torment… I’d go through all that and more just to see that smile on her face.
“That’s good,” she says and I can almost feel her relief in the air between us.
“Yeah?” I question as I tuck a strand of blonde hair behind her ear.
“Yeah.” She nods. “I mean, I had to come anyway… you never got to sing for me, and you promised you would.”
“Have you seen my new movie?”
She nods, and her eyes blaze with heat.
“I sang for you, Blaire,” I murmur as I trace the lines of her face with the tip of my finger. “Every song I sang in that movie was for you.”
She swallows slowly and I can see tears welling in her eyes again, she looks lost for words. She stares deep into my eyes and finally manages to speak. “Well I want a private performance,” she whispers, her voice thick.
I nod my head in quick agreement. I can think of only one other thing I’d rather be doing with her in private right now.
We spend long moments just looking at each other, and holding each other close. We’ve been apart for so long, I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to let her go.
“You didn’t happen to bring me one of those ice creams, did you?” I ask with a grin.
I watch her, watching my smile, and she sighs like she’s been missing the sight as her own face lights up. “Sorry.” She shrugs and giggles.
“Am I still on your list at least?” I tease.
“You are the list,” she whispers. “Numbers one through five.”
“Damn right I am. Good luck to the Ryan whoever it was and what’s his face Hemsworth.”
She throws her head back and laughs and I might be running the risk of sounding like a total pussy, but it’s the best sound I’ve ever heard.
“I can’t believe I found you.”
“Neither can I… I hired a private investigator to find you – that was him on the phone,” I admit sheepishly. “I would have come for you – if the guy could ever manage to track you down, that is.”
Her lips form a small ‘o’. “You know what, can I just go back? Because the idea of you coming for me seriously gets my motor running.”
“You’re not going anywhere,” I growl the words at her. “I’m not letting you out of my sight ever again.”
“That might be a problem when my Visa runs out.”
“I’ll marry you,” I tell her, and I’m only half joking. In fact, I’m not actually sure I’m joking at all.
I can’t imagine myself letting Blaire go again. I’ve spent so long pining for her and now she’s here.
I always remember my aunt telling my younger cousin, Brianna, that she should never impulse buy anything, that instead she should leave, and if she was still thinking about whatever it was a week later, then she should go back and buy it.
Now, I’m not comparing the woman I’m in love with to a pair of shoes, but the fundamentals are the same, and I’ve been thinking about Blaire for a year straight, so by that logic – I should make her mine.
“You’ll marry me?” She giggles. “A green card marriage – and they say romance is dead… At least I know you didn’t pull that line from one of your movies.”
“I’m nothing if not one hundred percent authentic.” I chuckle and press a kiss to her forehead, breathing her in as I do. I could stay like this all day, but I know it’s only a matter of time before reality comes knocking.
“Where are you staying?”
“A hotel downtown.”
“Not anymore you’re not.” I reach i
nto my pocket and pull out my phone. I hit call on John’s name and wait for him to answer.
“Done staring into space already?”
I look down at Blaire and smirk. I’ve got something much better to stare at now. “Can you pick me up in ten?”
“We’ll leave now.”
“Alright, and the plan has changed, I need to head downtown.”
“What the hell for?” he snaps.
John hates going downtown.
“I’ll explain when you get here.”
I hang up the phone before he can harass me further about it.
“That was John – my manager,” I explain as I turn her so she’s standing next to me, my arm draped over her shoulders as we begin to walk back towards where the car will come to pick me up. “He’s coming to get us, we’ll pick up your stuff and then we’ll go home, okay?”
Her eyes widen and she falters for a second before nodding her head rapidly.
“Good.” I lead her forward.
“I emailed him,” she surprises me by saying.
“When?” I demand. “Did he email you back?”
She nods and grins. “Earlier today and he did. He said he’d pass on that I was looking for you.”
“Well he didn’t,” I grind out the words between clenched teeth.
She reaches across her body and lays her hand on my stomach, patting it gently to bring my attention back to her.
It works. Her simple touch ignites me from the inside out.
“Don’t get mad – I’m sure I’m not the only fan girl trying to get a piece of Beckett Thorn. He’s just doing his job.”
I chuckle, my frustration lost. “You’re not a fan girl.”
“That’s inconceivably untrue,” she says with a grin and a skip in her step.
“So… you watched the new movie…” I say, and all of a sudden I’m nervous. I’ve had validation from every other person in my life, but I’m not sure that I really give a shit what they think, but her opinion… that I care about.
“I loved it, Beck.” She looks up at me, her pretty brown eyes speaking truths before her mouth even opens again. “It was the best thing I’ve ever seen.” She looks me up and down slowly. “Well, almost the best thing.”
Mr. April: A Celebrity Romance (Calendar Boys Book 4) Page 13
