I tried desperately not to think of the day Kane had taken me for a test-drive, during that fateful summer long ago when I had still believed in dreams. When I’d believed in Kane. I had never seen anyone happier than Kane was behind the wheel of his dream car, screaming down the highway. Except maybe when he was watching me drive. He’d almost walked away with that car, but he wanted to save it as a reward for when he’d reached his career goals. I still remembered like it was yesterday, our first kiss during that test-drive.
Stop thinking about him.
Wanting to be out of the heat, I grabbed my two suitcases and laptop case and headed into the house. I would figure out where to park the car later, after I showered and napped. After being in the car for four days, I felt disgusting. Auggie had offered to pay to ship my car, or even fly out and drive back with me. I’m not going to lie, that one freaked me out. Don’t get me wrong, part of me really wanted to say yes, but we had never spent that much time together and I wasn’t sure a road trip was the best place to start. Besides, I’d figured he would be on the phone the entire drive, so what would be the point? Plus, I needed time to decompress and delay the inevitable for as long as I could.
I walked into the mudroom and was hit with the scent of two of my favorite things: chocolate chip cookies and chicken with red wine cream sauce. Did Auggie have Miss Rae come over to make me a welcome home dinner? I would have never believed Auggie had it in him. It was the most thoughtful thing he had ever done for me. I dropped my bags and ran into the kitchen, ready to throw my arms around Miss Rae. I missed her so much. She’d retired after I went to medical school. I only saw her when I visited, which wasn’t often. Although we kept in touch by phone. But she had obviously been keeping secrets from me.
When I reached the kitchen, I skidded to a halt. There was no dear white-haired lady in the kitchen. Oh no, there was a gorgeous half-naked man pulling a sheet pan full of cookies out of the oven. It was like heaven and hell all wrapped up together.
“Kane,” I spluttered. “What . . . what are you doing here . . . in a towel?” Avert your eyes. Quit thinking about what it was like to rest your head on his beautiful, defined chest. Or how sexy he looks with his wet, slicked-back hair. For sure don’t focus on those water droplets taking their time dripping down his gorgeous body. Oh, what I would give to be a water droplet right now. Stop thinking like that!
Kane, with a smirk worthy of being smacked off his face, held out the pan. “Baking cookies. Chocolate chip with semisweet chocolate.” Why did he remember that was the way I liked them best?
“I see that,” I said, practically out of breath. I spun around, unable to continue looking at him. “Why, is the better question,” I managed to say. It was then I remembered I wasn’t looking all that hot in yoga pants and an oversized T-shirt. You couldn’t tell I had finally lost the freshman fifteen. That’s what rotations and a residency will do to you. Some days there was hardly time to eat, plus I had taken up swimming as a stress reliever. Sure, Kane had seen my trimmer body during the holidays, not that he’d noticed, or that I wanted him to. But . . . since he was here, it wouldn’t have hurt to be wearing something more form fitting.
“I thought it would be nice, since you were coming home. You’re early, by the way. Augustus said six.”
I was thoroughly confused. “Um . . . Auggie invited you over to bake cookies in a towel?”
Kane’s deep laugh rumbled through the large kitchen. “Didn’t he tell you? I’m living here while my house is being renovated.”
I held on to the wall for support and closed my eyes. What! “He failed to mention that.”
“Scarlett,” he crooned. The way he said my name went through me like a bolt of lightning. “Why won’t you face me?”
Wasn’t that obvious? “You’re naked.”
He chuckled. “Not quite,” he drawled. “Besides, darlin’, I’m not showing off anything that you haven’t already seen.”
Please, don’t remind me. Nights in the pool with him flashed through my brain like a steamy movie montage. I was going to have to fan myself momentarily.
“Dr. Armstrong, don’t tell me you’ve gone shy again,” he teased.
I still wasn’t used to people calling me Dr. Armstrong, even though for the last few years I’d practically heard it on a daily basis. “I’m not shy.” Okay, I still kind of was, but he didn’t need to know that. “However, I don’t think it’s proper for me . . . I mean, for us, to . . . well, never mind. Where’s my father?” I was going to have some serious words with him. Had I known Kane was staying here, I would have stayed with Naomi. And why was Kane staying here? His mother still lived in town, and he had a girlfriend.
“He’s at the office.”
I wasn’t surprised, even though it was Sunday.
“He should be back for dinner, though. Like I said, you’re early.”
“Great. I’m going to go call him.” I started to walk toward the door that led to my old room, hoping there weren’t any more naked ex-boyfriends up there.
“Wait,” Kane said abruptly.
I kept my back turned to him, refusing to behold his beautiful body.
“How’s Ethan?” he asked out of the blue.
I clenched my fists. “Don’t pretend that you don’t know we split up.” I would have been sending out wedding invitations right about now. “How’s Katrina?” Katrina and Kane, unfortunately, had a ring to it.
“We broke up.”
Why did that make me happy? “Tragic. You have my condolences.” The sarcasm oozed out of me.
“We were never serious. I knew she wasn’t the right woman for me.”
“Better luck next time,” I quipped, ready to leave his presence. I almost felt sorry for Katrina. I knew what it was like to not be the right woman. It was devastating.
“Thank you, Scarlett. Believe me, I’m going to need it.”
What did that mean? I guess he already had the next supermodel lined up. “Um, all right. I’m going to go to my room.” I pointed in the direction of the stairs.
“Dinner will be done in forty-five minutes. Feel free to push any of my toiletries out of the way in the bathroom.”
“What bathroom?”
“Which bathroom do you think? The adjoining one between our rooms.”
I grabbed my chest. “You’re staying in the room next to m . . . mine?” I stuttered.
“I thought it would be more fun that way.” I could hear the smile in his voice.
Fun wasn’t the word I was thinking.
To Stay or to Go
“Naomi,” I whispered. “Can I please come stay with you?” I decided to call her instead of my father as I stared at all of Kane’s toiletries on my bathroom counter. I would almost think this was a practical joke, but I peeked into the room that connected to the Jack-and-Jill bathroom, and it looked well lived in. There was even a king-size bed in there now and a huge flat screen, not to mention his clothes strewn all over. I didn’t remember him being such a slob. It was almost as if he were a nervous teen girl trying on every outfit he owned before a date. Maybe he had a date tonight. The thought made me feel jealous and ill, which was ridiculous.
“Why are you whispering, honey? Is something wrong?”
I picked up the bottle of Kane’s intoxicating cologne that smelled like spicy ginger cookies. “Yes, something is very wrong.”
“You’re worrying me. Where are you?”
“I’m at home.”
“Is Augustus okay?” She sounded panicked.
Poor Naomi still loved Auggie after all these years.
“He’s fine, as far as I know. He’s not here, but someone else is.”
“Another bimbo?” I could hear her blood boiling.
“No. Kane,” I whispered.
“That’s not unusual.”
“He’s living here while his house is being renovated,” I eeked out.
“Really?” She laughed. “Well, that is quite the bold move.”
“What
does that mean?”
“Honey, isn’t it obvious?”
“No, it’s not.”
She paused. “I’ve been reluctant to say anything to you, but it’s obvious you two never really got over each other.”
“Of course, we did,” I said like I was defending my honor. “I got engaged, remember?” And believe me, Kane was way over me. Honestly, I wondered if he was ever really into me. He so easily left me, how could he have been?
“Yes, I do,” she sighed. “I have to say, I’m happy you didn’t go through with it.”
I slapped my hand against my chest. “I thought you liked Ethan.”
“Liked him, yes. But I had my concerns.”
“You didn’t say anything.”
“Honey, you seemed determined, and I didn’t want to stand in the way of . . .” She paused and paused.
“Stand in the way of what?”
“Well, of your desperate attempt to move on.”
“Desperate?” I was highly offended. Though only because she was probably right. “I’m not desperate.”
“Perhaps that was a poor choice of words,” she conceded. “But, honey, you need to face the truth. You never got over Kane.”
I wiped some tears from my eyes, not willing to admit that for even a second. “Can I stay with you?” I pleaded again.
She took a deep breath and let it out. “As much as I would love that, I’m going to tell you I think it’s best if you stay there. It will be good for you.”
I almost fell backward into the tub. “Good for me?” I questioned while I steadied myself.
“You’ve been running away from your feelings for far too long.”
“No feelings here to run from,” I lied.
Before she could call me out on my lie, there was a loud knock on the door, making me scream, I was so on edge.
“You all right in there?” Kane shouted.
“Fine, just fine.”
Naomi laughed. “Sounds like I better let you go. Have fun.”
Why does everyone keep thinking this is going to be fun? “Thanks a lot.”
“I love you, honey. Call me later.”
I hung up and took a deep breath. “I’m leaving. The bathroom is all yours,” I called out, even though I hadn’t freshened up like I had planned to. Or even taken out my contacts. My eyes needed the break. After years of wearing them, I still didn’t love them. But I found them to be better when working in the lab, especially when looking through a microscope. Besides, there were five other bathrooms in this house I could use.
“Don’t go. I brought you cookies.”
I did love cookies, but . . . “Are you dressed?”
“If you want, I can take the towel off.” He laughed to himself.
Well, that did it, I dropped my phone onto the Italian tile and faltered back into the large, jetted tub while visions of . . . well, never mind, danced in my head. I let out a yelp when I hit my head and my legs flew up in the air.
I had no idea how Kane unlocked the door, but I was filing that bit of information away and definitely using a different bathroom during my short stay. He swept in, in all his half-naked glory, and before I knew it, he was towering above me, giving me the same look—a mixture of concern and amusement—he had eight years ago when he’d caught me with my hand stuck down my bra digging out cake crumbs.
He reached out his hand to me, his eyes smiling.
“I’m fine.” I tried to right myself. I couldn’t touch him. I knew exactly how it would feel. It would feel like coming home. And he’d made it clear eight years ago that he didn’t want to play house with me.
While I awkwardly tried to maneuver myself into a less precarious position, he reached in and easily lifted me up and out. The force of it had me landing way too close to him. I could smell the clean scent of his body soap and feel the heat rolling off him. I wanted to back away, but he had ahold of my hand and it would mean going back in the tub. There was something so comforting about his hand—it warmed me in ways I couldn’t explain. It didn’t matter, though; he’d chosen his path, and it went in the opposite direction of mine.
I pulled my hand away from his. “Thanks.” I tried to keep my eyes averted. Unfortunately, my line of sight was his defined pectorals. How I ached to brush my fingers across his smooth chest. I clenched my fists, resisting the urge. Why he still affected me like this I couldn’t explain, and I wished he didn’t.
With no thought for my mental health, he tipped my chin up with his finger. “Still hiding secrets behind those eyes of yours, I see.”
How often had he said that to me during the best summer of my life? He’d said it until I had believed he truly wanted to know them. I had shared my innermost thoughts with him, my hopes and dreams. Then he’d left me. I turned my head from him. I wasn’t hiding secrets anymore, except maybe the one regarding how much I wished things could have turned out differently for us. I would never tell him I still dreamed about him and ached for his touch. Or how much I missed his laughter and ability to get me to come out of my shell. No, he would never know my secrets again.
“No secrets here. Thanks, again.” I turned and headed toward my room.
“Scarlett, we should talk.”
I paused at the door. “What about? A bathroom schedule? This one is all yours. I’ll use the hall bath.”
“I don’t want to talk about the bathroom. Hell, I’ll use the one in the hall. Will you please just look at me?” he pleaded.
I gripped the doorknob for support. “I can’t.”
“I’ll put some pants on.”
“That won’t help.”
“Tell me what will,” he begged.
I rested my forehead against the door. “Why does it matter to you?”
“Scarlett—”
A loud timer went off.
“Damn,” Kane exclaimed under his breath. “The chicken is done. We’ll pick this conversation up later.”
I didn’t think that was a good idea. I rushed into my room, shut the door, and leaned against it, trying not to hyperventilate. What was wrong with me? I was a grown woman now. A doctor. Not some wide-eyed coed who had zero experience with men.
I couldn’t stay here. Maybe Mindy would let me stay with her and her family. Though she’d just had baby number three. I’m sure I could deal with a crying baby all hours of the night. In fact, I could use some baby snuggles. Or I could get a hotel. I did have a high-paying job, after all.
A knock on my bedroom door interrupted my thoughts. I planned on ignoring it, figuring it was half-naked Kane.
“Scarlett, are you in there?” my father’s gruff voice surprised me.
I padded over to the door and opened it, ready to give Auggie a piece of my mind. I say that, yet I knew I wouldn’t. Instead, I stood there, looking at him and silently begging him to see me. To love me.
He, too, seemed at a loss for words as he ran his hands through his still-thick-ish, now-silver hair. I was so glad he had stopped dying it in an effort to look younger. Maybe, since he wasn’t marrying a new woman every year or two he felt like he could show his age a bit. For sixty-three, he looked great. He was trim with an athletic build and tan from being out on the golf course making deals and keeping up appearances. I was pretty sure Botox was a friend of his.
“Hi, Dad, I mean Auggie.” I slipped up and called him what I always wished he would be—my dad. Not only my father.
“You made it,” he stated the obvious.
“It would appear so.” I smiled.
The corners of his lips twitched which was saying something for the man who never smiled. “How was the drive?” He seemed about as uncomfortable as I felt, not knowing what to say.
“Long, but good.”
“Good.” He nodded.
“Good,” I replied, not knowing what else to say. I think most daughters would have flown into their father’s arms by now and said how much they missed them. I longed to do that, but I didn’t miss Auggie. I missed out on him, and I despe
rately wanted to find him. Where was the man in the pictures I held so dear? The man who once adored infant me. More than anything, that’s why I had come home. I knew deep within me that I had to know that man.
“Dinner is in fifteen minutes,” he replied.
Great. More time with Kane. I hoped he put on some clothes before we ate.
“Thank you for letting me know.” I assumed we were done and began to shut the door.
As the door started to close, Auggie did something unprecedented. He reached out and rested his hand on my shoulder. I think the last time he touched me was when he’d literally patted me on the back when I’d graduated from medical school. I stared at his large hand, wishing I knew what it felt like to hold it. Would I feel secure and like I belonged?
Auggie cleared his throat. “I’m glad you’re here,” he rushed to say. His hand popped off, and he jetted away.
I watched him walk down the long hall, wondering what had just happened. It was one of the most tender things he had ever said to me. It had me wanting more from him. Unfortunately, it also had me thinking maybe I shouldn’t go to Mindy’s or a hotel.
I leaned against my doorframe, contemplating this decision. Kane would be at work most of the time, and I would be furiously house hunting. Most evenings, I’m sure I could find something to occupy my time. Maybe Auggie and I could even do dinner. And surely Kane would have plans. He wasn’t one to sit still. More than likely, he probably had his entire summer planned out. After all, he loved lists. I wouldn’t mention I’d kept the one he’d written of my ten best qualities to help me with my medical school application essay. The essay he’d helped me to perfect. The one that got me into my first choice, Johns Hopkins. I wasn’t sure why I’d kept the list. Maybe it was because it was the first time a man had told me I was beautiful. Though not beautiful enough for him, apparently.
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