“I loved that episode. The one brother smoked, and you were able to use DNA methylation signals to prove he was the one who did it. Most people don’t know smoking can alter your DNA. Another good reason to never smoke.”
Landon smiled at me from across the table. “Would it be very forward of me to say that you’re too beautiful and smart to be hanging out with a guy like me?”
I swallowed and bit my lip. “I wouldn’t say you’re forward, but maybe you need your glasses prescription checked.”
“Ah, modest, too. A lethal combination.”
I couldn’t believe this was happening. Not only was I having lunch with my idol, but he was flirting with me. If only I could fully enjoy it. Kane kept infiltrating my mind. I inadvertently touched the hollow of my neck and my ear. Kane’s touch still burned beneath my skin. His words seared even hotter. “I’m ready to walk away from the single life anytime. Just say the word, Scarlett . . . Keep running, Scarlett.”
“Um . . . what did you mean by a guy like you?” I needed something to distract me in the worst way. I even clasped my hands in my lap to keep me from touching my neck. If only I could shut out Kane’s voice.
Landon leaned back in the booth. “You know, an introverted science geek.”
“I know very well, I would put myself in the same category. I have to say, you don’t come across as an introvert. Especially on your show.”
“I’ve gotten good at playing the part. But I promise you, after this, I will be in great need of alone time and getting lost in video games.”
I could totally relate to him except for the video games part. Social situations always wore me out. I would probably go home and read a book after this. “What games do you play?”
He raised his brows. “That didn’t scare you off? Most women are put off that a man my age is still gaming.”
I remembered Kane once saying something similar to me. That I wasn’t like other women. It was something he had appreciated. After he’d left, I’d wondered if he’d wanted me to be more like other women. However other women were, I wasn’t sure. But who was I to judge anyone? I listened to Celtic music and sat on the floor whenever I could while I worked. I was about as quirky as they came. Landon was probably more my speed than someone like Kane. However, that’s what I loved about Kane. He brought out a side of me no one else could.
“Someone once told me that the most beautiful thing I could be was myself. I think that’s good advice for most everyone. You know, except serial killers and psychopaths.” The kind of people Landon helped put in jail.
He laughed, and then his laughter turned into a thoughtful stare. “Did Kane tell you that?”
I was taken aback that he knew that. “Why would you think that?” I stuttered.
He drummed his fingers against the wooden table. “I’m good at studying people, the living and the dead. I’ve noticed that when you touch your neck in the same place Kane did during your chat, your tone of voice turns wistful. And as much as I’m hoping it’s not true, I’m not buying the stepbrother angle. Thinking back, I’m sure he wanted to punch me before he left.”
“Our parents were married for about fifteen months,” I defended myself, though I was quite embarrassed he noticed all that.
“I’m not accusing you of lying. Only trying to feel out my chances here.”
I took a drink of my lemonade, trying to think of what to say. I wasn’t sure. I liked Landon. I really did, but Kane was getting in the way. Always.
“I’m being too forward again. It’s a bad habit of mine. It’s just I don’t often find myself so drawn to someone so quickly.” He leaned forward as if I were pulling him in.
Oh, I knew the feeling. Not with Landon, but believe me, I knew the feeling. “I’m flattered. And I like you. Honestly, I had the biggest crush on you when I was in college.”
He pursed his lips together. “Let me guess—not anymore?”
I felt myself getting all sorts of hot. I hated letting people down. “It’s not that. It’s just, at the beginning of this year, the man I was engaged to broke things off. And I’m involved with a huge thing at work, and—”
“You have unresolved feelings for your stepbrother,” he interrupted me.
“Yeah,” I whispered. “I’m sorry. Kane and I have a complicated past. But there’s no hope for a future together.”
Landon’s eyes widened. “Are you sure about that?”
“Yes,” I said too quickly.
“Can I give you some advice?”
I nodded. Not sure anything he said would be helpful, but at this point in my life, I was open to any suggestions.
“Most crimes I get called in to investigate happened in the heat of the moment. A few emotionally charged seconds that change the course of the victim’s and the assailant’s lives forever. Probably nine out of ten crimes could be avoided if only the aggressor took a few minutes to breathe and think before acting.”
“What are you saying?”
“I’m saying, I don’t know exactly what happened between you and Kane, but I’m guessing some decisions have been made in the heat of the moment, by both of you. And you haven’t given yourself the time to stop and think before you do something you may regret for the rest of your life.”
My mouth fell open.
“Yes, I’m blunt like that. And I wish it wasn’t true, because I would like nothing more than to ask you back to my hotel room to play video games.” He gave me a sly smile.
Wow. He really was blunt. “Uh-huh. Video games.” With one sentence, he’d obliterated another dream.
He laughed. “Too forward?”
“Yes.” I didn’t find it all that funny. One-night stands weren’t my thing. And all I could think about was how Kane would have never asked me back to his hotel room, especially on a first date. He would have known better because he knew me. Landon obviously didn’t know me. And he never would.
“I should probably get you home. I need to get back to the studio,” he said abruptly.
“Thank you for lunch.” I had no idea what else to say. I was more than ready to go home.
He reached across the table for my hand. When he touched me, it felt wrong. Not creepy, just like we didn’t belong together. “I’m sorry for coming on so strong. My mouth is always getting me in trouble.”
I could relate to that, too. Except I didn’t go around propositioning people for sex.
“I know after my stellar people skills you probably never want to see me again, but if you find yourself unattached and without regret, I would love to take you out again. I’d fly you to anywhere I am. No video games need to be involved.” He grinned.
I wanted to tell him that I was unattached and didn’t have regrets. Not because I wanted to see him again—unfortunately, he’d kind of ruined it there at the end—but because I wanted it to be true. Because then maybe the pain would go away. But I was attached to Kane in ways I couldn’t explain. It went beyond space, time, or even reason. I knew that meant something. I just wasn’t sure what.
~*~
I walked into a quiet house after I was dropped off by my Uber driver. I felt it was best if Landon and I parted ways at the restaurant. Not that I thought he would stalk me or anything—it was just awkward after the whole “video games” thing. I needed to decompress after my so-called date, so I welcomed the silence. And I was extremely grateful not to have to face Kane. Admittedly, I had been hoping I could come home and tell him I’d had a great time and that Landon and I would be seeing each other again. That wasn’t happening, and honestly, I wasn’t even sure if I would be watching Confessions of a Forensic Pathologist anymore. I had a feeling if I did, I would always think to myself that Landon had wanted to sleep with me. Kane had probably perceived Landon’s intentions. Maybe he was right and there was a reason Landon was still single. Ugh. Men.
I knew I should probably get some work done, but I didn’t think I would be able to concentrate. Even though Landon was a dud, his work still excited me. I
itched to go research DNA methylation signals and the time-tracing fingerprint technology Landon and I had discussed over lunch. It was amazing that we could tell how old a fingerprint was now.
Instead, I found myself in the library scrolling through Naomi’s books. I wanted to talk to her, but she was doing something more important—having dinner with my father and hopefully getting some answers for me. If only she could tell me what to do with my life. With Kane.
While I perused the books, I received a text from the maddening man. Did you make it home all right?
I debated about responding, but I could picture him getting ready to avenge my death or, at the very least, call the police. I’m home.
I wondered where he was. I almost asked him, but it wasn’t any of my business. And he didn’t respond, so I went back to searching for a book to take my mind off the events of earlier today. Especially my thoughts regarding Kane’s theory on me running away. Maybe he was right. Of course, he was right.
I sank into the chintz chair nearest me, my mind reeling as I recounted all the times I’d run away in my life. I’d run away from being valedictorian. From my stepsiblings and stepmothers, letting them bully me into silence and self-loathing. I’d spent years, not to mention my medical residency, running away from my career dreams, or at least being too afraid to pursue them. I’d even tried to run away from Kane in the beginning, but he wouldn’t let me. I was still running away from him, yet he still chased. And perhaps that’s why I couldn’t forgive him now. Eight years ago, he’d stopped chasing me. He’d stolen my courage—him. And instead of finding my own courage, I did the safe thing. I gave up on my dreams.
But was it really safe? I was still chasing after my father’s approval, begging him to love me and be proud of me. See me. It’s all I’d ever truly wanted. So technically I was trying to make my dreams come true. Then why did I feel so empty?
I curled into myself, afraid of the answer.
While contemplating my life—more like trying not to contemplate it—I noticed a book, Harvest of Blood, on the small table near the chair. I smiled when I picked it up. It was a medical thriller by one of my favorite authors, Taron Taylor. I had no idea Auggie liked him, too. Though he probably didn’t love him for the same reasons as I did. Taron Taylor wrote great thrillers, but my favorite part was always the amazing love story woven into the plot.
I hadn’t had a chance to read this book yet, so I picked it up hoping it would be a good distraction. A track for me to use to run away from my life. I was obviously good at it. Too good.
I read and read until it was dark, until my eyes became heavy and I fell asleep in the chair. I was startled awake by a gentle shake. Blinking several times, I allowed my eyes to adjust and focus in on Auggie, who stood smiling above me.
I sat up and tried to stretch out the crick in my neck. “What time is it?”
“Eleven.”
That was good news. It meant he and Naomi had been together for hours. Or, that’s what I assumed. I supposed he could have gone somewhere else after dinner.
“How was dinner?” I asked nonchalantly.
Auggie didn’t answer me. His head was tilted, studying me. “It’s been a long time since you fell asleep in this library. I used to have to carry you to bed when you were a little girl.”
“You did?” I didn’t remember that. But oh, how I wanted to.
He picked up the book that had fallen onto my lap and absentmindedly flipped through it. “You wanted to read the big books, as you used to call them. Always wanting to learn.”
Why couldn’t I remember that? Remember him?
“How old was I?”
“Four or five.” He set the book on the side table.
That made sense. It was probably right after he and Naomi divorced. No wonder I couldn’t remember. I didn’t want to. I guessed I was always good at running away from my feelings, from life.
“So, how was your dinner?”
“You’re not going to let that go, are you?” he said with a smile in his voice.
I let my hair out of its messy bun and ran my fingers through my curls. “No.” Not this time.
Auggie sat in the matching chintz chair on the other side of the small table. He ran a hand through his hair, just like me. It dawned on me how similar we were, right down to running away. He had run away from my mother’s death and Naomi’s love. He’d even run away from me. I was no better. I had a string of men who’d all loved me that I could never fully love back. I hadn’t even given myself fully to Ethan. I think he’d known. His excuse for leaving me had been his career and moving; but in my heart, I knew it was because I hadn’t fought for him. His eyes had pleaded for me to tell him he was making a mistake. I hadn’t been able to. And even now, when I was faced with the kind of love that Naomi had offered my father, I was shunning it at every turn. Sure, Kane bore some of the blame, but even if I was willing to forgive him, I would probably run. No one can hurt you while you’re running.
I sat stunned by these revelations. Auggie and I belonged to the same runners’ club. I always swore I would never be like my father, yet I’d turned out to be exactly like him.
Auggie shook me out of my thoughts by saying, “It was like old times tonight. Naomi was on a mission.” He gave me a pointed look. “I believe on your orders this time.”
I wanted to shake him and yell at him. Blame him for teaching me how to run. But I couldn’t. He may have given me the running shoes, but I’m the one who’d put them on and laced them up tight. I even bought new ones when the old pair wore out. Tonight, though, I decided to retire at least one pair and confront my father. Force him to tell me the truth. “I know something is wrong. You aren’t acting like you.”
“And how is that?”
“Well,”—I bit my lip—“you’re normally standoffish and cold.” I didn’t sugarcoat it. “And you would never step down as CEO. Not like this.”
His brow furrowed while he scrubbed a hand over his salt-and-pepper five-o’clock shadow. “This is what you think of your father.” Regret laced his words.
“I wish I didn’t,” I whispered, on the verge of tears.
“Your assessment is well deserved.”
“Why? What did I do?” I begged to know.
He whipped his head my way. “What do you mean, what did you do? You think this is your fault?”
I pulled my knees up and wrapped my arms around my bare legs. Tears dripped down them as they fell off my cheeks. “I was a disappointment.”
“No,” he said angrily.
“How could I believe otherwise? You never once said you were proud of me. I can’t even remember you ever saying you loved me.” I sobbed, even though I knew Auggie hated the tears.
Auggie flew out of his chair and dropped to his knees in front of me. His expression was bewildered. He obviously didn’t know what he should do. He raised his hand as if he wanted to touch me but wasn’t sure how or if he should. He eventually patted my arm. “Scarlett,” his voice cracked, “I love you.” He stumbled on those words, as if he hadn’t said them to anyone in years. He noticeably inhaled and exhaled before saying with more conviction, “I love you.”
I lifted my head. “You do?”
Without hesitation, he stroked my hair. “From the moment I held your tiny body in the delivery room. I’m sorry, I’ve done a poor job over the years of showing you.”
It was the sweetest thing he had ever said to me. I felt a tiny piece of my heart mend.
“Scarlett, I’m proud of you. It’s why I’m stepping down. I want time to see my daughter at the helm of Armstrong Labs.”
I had wanted to hear the P word for as long as I could remember, but I couldn’t enjoy it. Instead, I was struck with fear. “Time? Are you running out of time?”
He swallowed hard and let out a heavy breath. “Last month, I had an episode.”
“An episode?”
“It was no big deal.” He stood and began pacing. “Possibly a mini,” he emphasized, “he
art attack,” he mumbled.
I jumped up. “You had a heart attack?”
“Perhaps. The tests were inconclusive.”
“I want to look at the test results and your bloodwork.”
He chuckled. “You sound just like Naomi.”
That was a huge compliment. “I’m serious.”
“So was she. But I’m fine. I’m taking some beta-blockers and exercising more. However, my doctor recommended a change in lifestyle if I would like to live to see the next decade. According to him, I’m too high strung and work too much,” he scoffed.
I took Auggie’s hand, and he held on to it like a lifeline. “I need you to stick around. I feel like I don’t even know you. We need to change that.”
He squeezed my hand. “Agreed.” He studied me as if he were trying to memorize my face and everything about me. Like he was looking at me for the first time. “You are so beautiful, but more importantly, you’re intelligent. You will do great things for Armstrong Labs.”
Would I? Could I? “What if the board chooses Kane?” Or someone else. Though Auggie was right—I didn’t see them looking past Kane or me. Auggie was still the chairman of the board and wielded a lot of influence. Besides, the board loved Kane. Ugh.
“I’ve never known a finer man than Kane, and, honestly, his skills are second to none. And though he is like a son to me, Armstrong Labs is your legacy. I built it for you and your mother.”
Oh. When he put it like that, how could I deny my destiny? I could pick new dreams. Give my father his wish, perhaps even his dying wish, to see me run his company. “I’ll do my best,” I whispered.
He drew me in for a hug, albeit awkwardly, as this was a first. When we figured out arms and where my head would land on his chest, he held me tight, and I settled into him. Tears streamed down my cheeks. I had wanted, no, needed this moment for as long as I could remember. I needed my father.
“I know you can do this, Scarlett.”
All's Fair in Love and Blood: A Romantic Comedy Novel Page 22
