And if he really thought about it, Ian had done this because he wanted to keep his job. And Brad’s father had forced him into a corner. Not because Ian had any malicious intent toward Brad, keeping secrets from him.
“I’m not taking Gwen away,” Brad whispered.
Ian breathed out shakily, pressing his face into Brad’s shoulder. “Why are you doing this?”
“Because I care. Because you need someone.”
Ian shook his head. “That doesn’t mean you have to sacrifice your own time. You have better things to be doing—”
“I’m here because I choose to be,” Brad said, realizing it was true.
“I’m not the best omega,” Ian said. “You’re free to go out and find another, and—and…”
Brad pressed a kiss to Ian’s neck. Then further down where his neck met his shoulder, where Ian’s scent gland was. “Yeah, I could be gone right now,” he murmured. Brushed his lips where Ian’s scent was the strongest. “But I’m still here.”
“I can’t believe you still see anything worthwhile in me,” Ian said. He reached for his thigh, and Brad caught his wrist. Entwined his fingers with Ian’s, so Ian couldn’t pick at another scab.
“I need time to process this,” Brad said. “But you’re still someone I look up to, okay? You care. You put everyone else before yourself. You’re good at the stuff you teach, and you’ve always been patient with me.”
Ian sighed, pressing his forehead to Brad’s shoulder. “Even so.”
“You’re the father of my kids,” Brad said. That sounded good. Better than good. “I want you to be mine.”
Ian swallowed noisily. “I’ll think about it.”
“That’s fine,” Brad said. “Can I visit Gwen? Sometimes. I don’t know if I can be a dad. But I just… I figure I should.”
“You don’t have to acknowledge them as your own, you know,” Ian whispered. “It’s a lot of responsibility. I’m not holding you to it.”
Brad blew out a breath. Yeah, that was a good option. It seemed too sudden, finding out about the children all in one day. Knowing the girl he’d treated to a turkey dinner was actually his daughter. That was insane. “You should’ve told me about them.”
Ian was quiet for a while. “I’d lost all your contact information. And by then… Gwen needed surgeries, anyway. I wasn’t about to go to you with a sick daughter who’ll drain your bank account. It’s just… not right. It was my choice to keep her, not yours.”
“So my dad found out about her before I did?” Brad asked.
Ian sagged. “He was right outside my office after you left. That first time. I was too late to hide anything.”
Brad imagined Ian trapped by the evidence, and winced. Hugged him tighter. Ian had probably been mortified, being found out like that. “I should’ve been there.”
Ian rolled his shoulders. “Who knows? It might’ve been worse.”
Brad’s father had probably forced the truth out of Ian when he’d been pregnant. Brad scowled, wishing he knew a better way to protect Ian. So Ian wasn’t stuck at his job, scrimping and saving all the time. “How are the medical bills like?”
Ian huffed. “Like you wouldn’t believe.”
“How much are we talking?”
“A few hundred thousand. More if there’s complications.” Ian curled his fingers into Brad’s shirt.
Brad swore. He had savings, but a few hundred thousand? That would take a few more years of saving all his wages.
“Look, I’m not asking you for money, okay? I don’t want to be that omega who shows up to suck you dry.”
Brad snorted. “If you wanted to suck me dry a different way, I wouldn’t be opposed to it.”
Ian’s breath hitched. “You still… want that?”
He smelled good, all rose and sweat and musk. And honey, too. He was carrying Brad’s child.
“Yeah,” Brad said. “I still do.”
“Oh.”
When Brad didn’t answer, Ian added, hesitantly, “I don’t look the best. I’m not… young anymore. My belly’s never really recovered. And—and the scars.”
“I’m still here, aren’t I?”
“I guess.”
Brad’s knot began to recede, but he didn’t feel like releasing his omega.
“I don’t know how to explain it to Gwen,” Ian said. “So… maybe not mention it to her yet?”
Curious, Brad asked, “What did you tell her about her other dad, then?”
“Just that he was somewhere far away, so it was just the two of us.”
Brad snorted. “I wasn’t that far away.”
“I guess you weren’t.”
By now, Ian had relaxed. He breathed steadily, the tension seeping out of his body.
“Can you stand?” Brad asked, stroking his thighs.
“Maybe.”
Ian fumbled, getting to his feet. Brad’s cock slipped out of him, and it felt odd, being half-naked with his professor. He’d never known Ian outside of class, not to this extent. And now there was so much more connecting them than Brad had ever expected.
Ian straightened his own clothes, crossing the room to turn on the lights.
He looked tired, his eyes weary, his hair a mess. Brad met his gaze. Wasn’t sure what to say to him, after all that had happened.
“I don’t think you should stay,” Ian said, looking away. “It’s… probably too soon. I don’t know how to explain this to Gwen.”
He rubbed his arms, and Brad watched as Ian tugged on his sleeves. “You gonna be okay alone?”
“Probably.”
“Don’t hurt yourself anymore, okay?”
“I’ll try.”
“Call me if you’re feeling bad,” Brad said. “I’ll talk with you.”
Ian looked uncertain, but he nodded. “Okay.”
Didn’t feel right, leaving his omega alone this soon after he’d seen Ian cry, but at least Ian looked better now.
Brad fixed his own clothes, glancing at the bedroom door. “Before I leave… Can I see Gwen?”
Ian hesitated. “Sure.”
He padded to the bedroom door, knocking lightly on it. Then he opened the door, poking his head in.
Brad followed Ian into the lit room. The bedroom was just as cramped as the living room—a single queen bed in one corner, a rickety closet at one end. There was a bedside table, a tiny attached bathroom, and an army of stickers on plastic sheets lining the walls.
On the bed, Gwen had fallen asleep, the light-up truck in her arms, its rainbow lights still flashing. Her mouth was open, and her hair was still in ponytails.
“Oh, Gwen,” Ian said. He reached over, turned off the flashing lights, and eased the truck out of her arms. Replaced it with a larger pillow. Ian pulled the hair ties out of her hair, before combing it out with his fingers.
It made Brad’s chest warm, watching Ian with that soft look in his eyes. And Gwen—she was sleeping peacefully, her cheeks thin, her blond hair and stubby nose so reminiscent of Ian.
She was his daughter.
Hard to believe she was his flesh and blood.
When Ian pulled the covers over her, Brad leaned over the bed, touching his knuckles to her cheek. Her skin was warm, velvety, and she seemed so fragile, now that he knew better.
“Her next doctor appointment is in a couple months,” Ian said quietly. “I’ll text you the date if you want.”
“Yeah, please do,” Brad said.
Ian quirked a smile. “You’ll be there?”
“I’ll try. See if I can get the day off,” Brad said.
Ian looked down, but there was a faint smile on his lips.
At the front door, Brad paused. “I’ll see you again,” he said.
Ian blushed. “I can’t believe you want to.”
“Well, believe it.” Brad caught Ian’s hand. Brushed his thumb across Ian’s palm, then leaned in, so their lips were a hairsbreadth apart.
Ian breathed in sharply. “You’re still interested?”
�
��Yeah, I am,” Brad whispered. Nudged their lips together, giving Ian a chaste kiss.
Ian gulped. When Brad pulled away, he found Ian’s cheeks pink. It looked good on him.
“Good night,” Brad said. “And Merry Christmas.”
Ian smiled then, his eyes warm. “Same to you.”
He watched as Brad stepped away from the door. It was only when Ian closed the door and locked it, that Brad headed down the corridor, with its dim fluorescent lighting, and the ratty carpet.
Brad had a daughter. Ian was pregnant with their baby, and somehow, despite all that had happened tonight, Brad looked forward to meeting them again.
9
Ian
“Ian!” June said. “Harold wants to see you. He left a message.”
Ian winced, his stomach sinking. The department head? “What does he want to see me for?”
June shrugged. She glanced around the lab where the undergrads were tapping away on the computers, then met Ian’s eyes. “His son?”
Well, that wasn’t good.
“Can’t you go instead?” Ian asked. “It’s not like I know any more about his son than you do.”
June raised her eyebrow, and Ian’s face burned.
Two weeks ago, on the day after Christmas, Ian had returned to the lab smelling like Brad. June had been there, and she’d given him that look, and nothing Ian said could’ve erased the incriminating scent from his skin.
So June knew Ian had slept with his student again, but he trusted her not to mention it to their boss.
“I’ve got a number of things due today,” Ian said. “A couple of grant applications, and reviewing some articles for publishing. And a peer review. I can’t possibly set aside time for him.”
“I’ll help you with those,” June said. “Can’t do the meeting, though. Sorry. I did ask.”
She gave him a pitying look. Ian sniffed at his arms. At least, Brad’s scent had been fading over the past two weeks. Brad had to cancel on dinner last week due to a station emergency, and his graduate class would only start again later today. Harold couldn’t possibly know that Ian had met with Brad.
“I may as well get it over with,” Ian said.
He didn’t know what Harold wanted to discuss. Ian had been staying beneath the radar all these years, afraid that Harold would come up with some random reason to screw him over. Didn’t need more trouble than he already had, with Gwen’s hospital bills adding up all the time.
Ian was pregnant, though—anyone could smell that on him.
Worse, Brad had found out he was Gwen’s other dad.
Ian stepped out of the lab, his chest squeezing. Maybe Brad had faked the station emergency so he didn’t have to see Ian again. Gods knew he’d been pissed when he found out.
Ian’s stomach twisted. He remembered the fury in Brad’s eyes, remembered the way he’d looked at Ian, his expression incredulous. Fuck you, he’d said.
Brad had hugged Ian after, but who knew if he’d been holding back his disgust? Or if he’d done that out of guilt, and then proceeded to leave?
With each day that passed, Ian grew a little more uncertain. He probably thinks I’m a headcase.
It wasn’t as though there was anything between them. They barely even knew each other. Ian was trying hard not to look forward to seeing Brad, because he didn’t want his hopes to crash. It would hurt, with how much he wanted everything Brad offered.
Brad’s arms had felt good around him.
Ian pushed aside his longing, pausing in front of Harold Saxon’s office. Light shone from beneath the door—Harold was in. Things would go okay this time, wouldn’t they?
Ian knocked. Behind the door, Harold said, “Come in.”
His heart thundering, Ian pushed the door open. He stepped into the office, trying not to touch his belly.
Harold Saxon was a severe man. He was older than Ian, with narrow eyes and graying hair, and his lips perpetually in a thin line. He was alpha, too, which meant anything he said automatically held more weight in matters of science and departmental logistics.
Ian met Harold’s eyes as best as he could. “Sir,” he said. “You wished to discuss something?”
Harold looked him over. “A couple of matters, yes. Have a seat.”
Ian closed the door, reluctantly sitting across from Harold at the desk. The office smelled like Harold’s boxwood scent, and it looked like any other office—ring folders in cabinets, framed certificates on the walls, pictures around a computer screen.
Except those photo frames contained pictures of Harold’s family, and Ian couldn’t help searching out Brad—Brad had been young when those pictures were taken, maybe nine, or ten.
He looked so innocent in those photos, cheerful, and he’d hugged his mother with a huge grin. There were other children in the pictures, too, but Ian only had eyes for Brad. Every single time he visited Harold’s office.
Harold cleared his throat. Ian yanked his gaze back up, focusing on his superior.
“I noticed that my son has enrolled in your Master’s class,” Harold said, his eyes narrowed. “You should have informed me the moment you knew. Why didn’t you?”
“I hadn’t taken over the classes until two weeks ago,” Ian said, wincing. “June Kindling had been teaching the classes before that.”
Harold raised his eyebrows. “So you’ve been delegating the classes to her? What have you been doing, in that case?”
Taking your granddaughter to the hospital. “I’ve been handling the undergraduate courses,” Ian said. “There’s been a surge in interest in the Level 4 classes.”
Harold nodded, but he didn’t seem satisfied. Then his nostrils flared, and Ian held his breath. Prayed Harold wouldn’t smell anything, aside from his own boxwood scent, and Ian’s rose.
But Harold’s eyes narrowed. “You’re with child?”
“Yes,” Ian said, his stomach clenching. No point lying. The pregnancy would only become more obvious as the weeks wore on.
“You have an alpha?”
“No.”
Harold studied him shrewdly. Then he asked, “Which alpha gave you that child?”
And Ian knew Harold meant, Was it my son?
Yeah, it was. Except the moment Ian admitted it, he would be fired, even if Gwen was Harold’s own granddaughter.
“June Kindling,” Ian blurted. He didn’t know any other alphas he could trust, couldn’t think of any other alphas offhand.
Harold curled his lip. “Isn’t she married?”
“She is.”
Then Ian’s face burned—in his panic, he’d forgotten June was married. And now Harold thought June had been cheating on Cher with Ian.
Where’s your alpha? Ian’s mother had asked when he’d brought Gwen to her, seeking shelter after he’d spent all his money on Gwen’s medical bills. If you don’t have an alpha, then you can forget about coming home.
“Is that all you wanted to discuss with me?” Ian asked, his skin too tight.
“No,” Harold said, glancing at Ian like Ian was scum on the bottom of his shoe. “From today onward, drop Brad Saxon from your classes. He will no longer be enrolled in the Master’s course.”
“Yes, sir.”
“That’s all. You may leave.”
Ian nodded, retreating from Harold’s office. He shuddered when he was out of Harold’s sight. He felt dirty. Like he could scrub his skin forever, and he’d still be contaminated. June’s going to kill me.
His face scorching, he hurried back to his lab, hesitating when he opened the door.
June glanced over, her eyebrows raised. “That was quick.”
Ian couldn’t meet her eyes. “Could I speak to you in private?” he squeaked.
June’s eyebrows crawled up her forehead. The moment she stepped out of the lab and the door closed, June asked, “What happened?”
“Brad’s dropped from the Master’s class,” Ian said in an undertone, glancing around to make sure the corridor was empty.
“That’s
not all, is it?”
“Harold asked who, uh, gave me this baby.” Ian waved at his belly, and June’s eyes bulged out.
“I didn’t know—”
Ian grabbed her arm, dragging her down the hallways until they were safely locked inside his office. Just in case Harold somehow overheard. “Yeah, I’m pregnant. I can’t believe you didn’t know.”
“I wasn’t looking out for it.” June shrugged, glancing at Ian’s belly. “Too many undergrads in the lab. So is that also Brad’s…?”
“Yeah.” Ian grimaced. “But, uh, Harold wanted to know whose it was. I couldn’t tell him.”
“Who did you tell him your alpha is?”
Ian squirmed, glancing at her. “You.”
June stared at him. For a moment, Ian thought she might explode, like Brad had when he’d found out about Gwen. Ian shrank back, cradling his belly.
Instead, June threw her head back and guffawed. “Oh, that’s rich, Ian. Me?”
She cackled, and Ian stared, wondering if his assistant professor had lost her mind. “You’re… okay with it?”
June wiped the tears from her eyes, still laughing. “Yeah. You know, before you joined this lab, there were a couple of professors before you. I marked one of them because he asked me to. Remember Dale?”
Ian stared, remembering his ex-colleague. Dale was an omega, about Ian’s age. He’d always seemed sad and lonely when Ian saw him in the college. “Yeah, I remember him. He’s working at Gwen’s childcare center now. I think he’s happier there.”
“He was trying to avoid an alpha student. Didn’t work out in the end—they still got together. But that’s not the point. You aren’t the first, McMillan.”
Ian bit his lip. “What happened to them?”
June’s smile mellowed. “Dale was fired. But he was also dating the college president’s son, so that was tough. He’s not doing so bad now, though.”
He’d been fired? Ian’s stomach twisted. He couldn’t afford to be fired. Gods knew he needed the money.
“Oh, come on, don’t look so horrified.” June gave Ian’s shoulder a sympathetic squeeze. “If you need a pretend alpha, I’ll step in. Is Brad going to mind?”
Omega Teacher’s Secret Page 9
