A doctor strode in, scanning over Gwen. Pale hair, glasses perched on his nose, and a beta, from his sage scent.
Philippe briefed the doctor on what he’d done. Ian told the doctor about Gwen’s medical history. Brad held Ian’s other hand, standing by his omega. Didn’t know what else he could do. He didn’t know enough about Gwen, didn’t have the expertise to cure her.
The doctor took Gwen’s pulse. “It looks like she’s stabilized for now. In the meantime, we’ll transfer her to the cardiology department for the best care. I’ll get an ECG done while Dr. Fenway gets here.”
“Dr. Fenway does my surgeries,” Gwen said in a small voice, her eyes wide and frightened. “I don’t want another surgery.”
The doctor met her gaze kindly. “You may have to undergo one to feel better.”
Gwen’s eyes filled with tears. Ian’s shoulders sagged. Brad squeezed his waist, and Ian leaned into him, his expression drained.
“I’ll get the ECG set up,” the doctor said. “We’ll contact Dr. Fenway in the meantime.”
“Daddy,” Gwen said, her face crumpling.
Ian pulled her into a hug, murmuring into her ear. Brad breathed out, his chest aching. Felt like yelling at someone. Punching someone in the face, maybe. At least it would feel like he was accomplishing something.
It wasn’t long until the nurse wheeled in the ECG machine. Ian stood back, holding Gwen’s hand. Brad held on to Ian’s other hand, stroking Gwen’s hair so at least they were all connected.
If he and Ian ever got together for real, this would be Brad’s life. Dealing with Gwen’s health issues, being at the hospital, knowing there was a chance he could lose his daughter.
Brad realized he would much rather take on all of that, than never see Gwen again.
“Hey, Brad, we’re leaving,” Adele said, clapping Brad on the shoulder. “Got another call.”
Brad nodded at Adele and Philippe, gratitude filling his chest. “Thanks for getting Gwen here.”
They waved, and Brad turned back to Gwen, pulling Ian against himself. He wanted all of this to be over. Wanted to have Gwen and Ian home with him, Gwen back to her normal bubbly self. Ian was tense, though, like he couldn’t relax.
The ECG beeped when it was done. Ian held his breath. They looked up when a different doctor stepped in, tall and thin.
“Dr. Fenway,” Ian said, relief flickering in his eyes.
“Mr. McMillan,” Fenway said. Then he glanced at Brad. “And you are…?”
“Gwen’s other dad,” Brad said. “Brad Saxon.”
Fenway shook their hands. Then he bent over Gwen, meeting her eyes with a friendly smile. “Hello, Gwen. How are you doing?”
“Better now.” Gwen made a face, her nose red. “I don’t want another surgery.”
Fenway hummed, glancing over Gwen’s clipboard and the ECG results. Then he pressed a stethoscope to her chest, listening.
It felt like forever before he said, “It looks like your heart isn’t doing so great, Gwen. There’s a lot of pressure on your right ventricle. We’ll have to do an MRI, but chances are, we may have to perform another surgery.”
Ian closed his eyes. Brad imagined him thinking about the hospital bills, the risks of the operation, and everything that was terrible and depressing. He held Ian against himself, rubbing his back.
Ian remained tense, though. “What are the risks of the surgery?”
“20% mortality,” Fenway said. “I’ve performed it a number of times in the last year. The chances of success are relatively high.”
Twenty percent was still far more than Brad was willing to risk.
“Please continue with the tests,” Ian said.
Gwen’s face crumpled. She looked pleadingly at Ian; Ian blinked hard, his eyes wet. He slipped his arms around Gwen, sniffling.
“I want you to be happy, hon,” Ian murmured. “I wish you could play with the other children, too. That’s what you want, isn’t it?”
Gwen bit her lip, nodding.
“You’ll be fine,” Ian said. “You’ll see.”
Part of Brad wanted to ask, What if you lose her? Why risk it? But another part of him didn’t want to put Ian through that. Ian already knew the possible consequences.
How many times had he made Gwen a promise, without knowing if the surgery would turn out okay? How many times had he been alone, worrying by himself?
Fenway told Ian the details of the MRI, then the surgical procedures if the results turned out bad. Brad tried to listen, but his brain wasn’t working anymore. His daughter was probably going into surgery. There was a chance she might not make it, and he needed to punch the wall, do something to vent his frustration.
He couldn’t lash out right now. Needed to hold himself together for him and Ian.
“If the MRI results show obstructed arteries,” Fenway said, “we’ll proceed with the surgery with your consent.”
Ian gulped, but he bowed his head.
“We’ll be moving Gwen to the cardiology department,” Fenway added. “You’re welcome to accompany her before and after the MRI.”
A couple of nurses came in, changing Gwen out of her clothes into a hospital gown. They pushed Gwen’s gurney into a sterile corridor, then a long metal elevator. Brad held Ian’s hand as they followed Gwen into the elevator.
They were both shaking, Ian biting his lip so hard it turned white.
“It’ll be okay,” Brad murmured, kissing Ian’s hand.
Ian hesitated, as though he wanted to say something. They were in front of Gwen, though. Ian sighed, pressing his forehead against Brad’s cheek, closing his eyes.
“Are you really my daddy?” Gwen asked.
When Brad looked up, he found Gwen watching him. She was still sniffling, but she’d asked him the question, not Ian. Made Brad’s heart thump.
“You heard that, huh?” Brad said. Hadn’t meant to let it slip in front of her.
Gwen nodded.
Brad glanced at Ian, uncertain.
“Go ahead,” Ian said. “You may as well.”
“You’re sure.”
Ian nodded, never once leaning away from Brad. So Brad exhaled, reaching over to comb his fingers through Gwen’s hair. “Yeah. I’m your other dad. Sorry I wasn’t around while you were growing up.”
“Daddy talked about you,” Gwen said thoughtfully. “He said you were a very nice alpha.”
Ian cracked a smile, and Brad’s heart warmed. “I was nice, huh?” Brad murmured.
“Perhaps,” Ian said.
“So do I call you Daddy too?” Gwen asked.
Brad’s heart missed a beat. “If you want.”
Gwen nodded, chewing her lip. “Daddy always says I look like him.”
“Except for your eyes,” Brad said. “You have my eyes.”
Ian sucked in a shaky breath, pressing himself against Brad’s chest. “Yeah, Gwen does have your eyes. You were so surprised when I remembered you.” He chuckled softly. “There was no way I could forget.”
Brad gulped, his heart pattering. It always surprised him, knowing that Ian had thought of him frequently through the years.
He kissed Ian’s forehead. Looked up when the elevator doors slid open.
Past the doors, the hospital had pale blue walls, and potted plants in some corners. There were a few people in the cardiology ward. Gwen made a face when the nurses pushed her out into the hallway, parking her just outside the MRI room.
“I’m sorry you have to go through this, Gwen,” Ian said, releasing Brad to hug his daughter. “If there’s one thing I wish I could change…”
Gwen whined, her lips pulling into a pout.
“C’mon, Gwen,” Brad said, squeezing Ian’s hand. “Didn’t you say you got a new truck game? How about you show me how to play?”
Gwen brightened. She fumbled for her phone, and Ian handed it to her. Then she opened the game application, and Brad stood by the gurney, watching as she explored the game. Ian fidgeted, his expression unsure.
A couple of
times, the nurses dropped by to check on Gwen. After they left, Gwen’s frown faded, and she began to smile, her tiny fingers tapping on her phone.
Instead of the game, Brad watched his daughter. Stroked her hair, pressing a kiss to her temple.
She’s mine, too. Hard to believe that. Hard to believe she’d be having an MRI done, possibly going into surgery, and there was a chance he could lose her.
A suffocating fear rose through his chest. Brad shoved it away. He pointed at the screen, asking about the controls on the game. Watched as Gwen got better at the truck race, dodging other trucks, pulling forward.
“You’re doing great,” he murmured, cheering quietly when her truck made it past the finish line. “Always knew you could do it!”
She beamed up at him, and Brad ruffled her hair.
Then the door to the MRI room opened, and Brad’s heart sank. Ian took the phone back from Gwen, murmuring to her. Brad followed them into the room, watching as Gwen lay on the bed of the MRI, the giant cylinder so huge around her.
It felt like an eternity before they finished that scan. Fenway showed them the images of Gwen’s chest, and pointed out the narrowed arteries around her heart.
Ian swayed, leaning into Brad. Brad didn’t know what he could do. Felt so fucking helpless.
The nurses wheeled Gwen back outside, and Ian fussed over her, checking that she was okay. Her pulse was still high, though. Brad had already expected it when Dr. Fenway stepped out of the operating theater, dressed in his surgical garb.
Ian’s hands tightened around Gwen; Gwen whimpered.
If this was the last time he ever saw Gwen… Brad forced the thought away. Stepped up to Gwen and kissed her cheek.
“You’ll be fine,” Brad whispered, meeting her fearful eyes. “I promise.”
And now he knew what Ian felt like, making promises he wasn’t sure he could keep.
Ian hugged Gwen tightly. Then he looked up at Fenway. “Is it okay if I accompany Gwen in?” he asked shakily. “Just for a bit to make sure she’s comfortable.”
“You’re welcome to,” Fenway said.
The nurses pushed the gurney in. Brad watched as Ian disappeared through the doors with their daughter, his eyes shadowed. Brad paced along the hallway, his skin crawling.
A few minutes later, Ian emerged from the operating theater. The red light above the double doors came on.
Ian looked like he was about to cry.
Brad caught Ian, pulled him into a tight hug, and buried his nose in Ian’s hair.
“She’s gone under,” Ian mumbled into Brad’s shoulder, his nails digging into Brad’s sides. “I don’t—don’t know how long it’ll be. He said it might take a few hours if there’s no complications.”
Gods, a few hours would drag, thousands of moments of not knowing if Gwen would be okay.
But they didn’t really have a choice, did they? Gwen’s arteries were already narrowed. Sooner or later, if they left her heart unfixed, she might have another attack again. And maybe at that point, help wouldn’t be quite as close by.
Brad slipped his fingers through Ian’s hair, holding on to him. He’d only known Gwen for two months. Couldn’t face the possibility of losing her now.
It was worse for Ian, wasn’t it? Ian, who had leaned on Gwen through the years, because he didn’t have anyone else.
Brad imagined Ian alone in the hospital all those other times, waiting to find out about Gwen’s surgery, not knowing if each time had been the last he’d kissed her. Ian hadn’t had anyone holding him then, hadn’t had anyone there to comfort him, catch him if he fell.
Even though he had cut himself, Ian had stayed strong. He could’ve given up. He could’ve stopped trying, and let his life fall into ruin. But here he was, holding himself together, so terribly brave, and Brad wanted to be there for him if he broke.
I love you, Brad thought. And it felt right in his heart.
“I’m here,” Brad whispered in Ian’s ear, stroking his hair. “You have me.”
Ian sucked in a shuddering breath, tucking his face against Brad’s shoulder. “Thank you.”
Brad lost track of how long they stood in the hallway, Ian holding on to him, his body taut with stress. Brad kissed his cheek. Kissed his jaw, stroked his back.
“I should’ve done better,” Brad said. “Should’ve been here the first time. Hell, I should’ve been there when you gave birth to Gwen.”
Ian gulped.
“Were you alone then, too?” Brad murmured. “When you had her.”
Ian nodded, his fingers twisting into Brad’s shirt. Brad breathed out his guilt. “I promise I’ll be here every single time from now on.”
“Are you sure?” Ian asked, his voice muffled. “It’s not easy, Brad. It’s terrifying.”
“All the more reason why I should be with you,” Brad said. “So you aren’t alone.”
Ian shook against him, his body thin, the tension in his frame so high it felt as though he might snap.
Brad kissed his neck. Pressed slow kisses up his throat to his jaw, cradling his omega. “Mine,” he whispered. “I wish I could help. Wish there was more I could do.”
So he didn’t have to think about the surgery and Dr. Fenway cutting Gwen open, Gwen’s life vulnerable in the doctor’s hands.
“There’s no going back,” Ian said. “I can’t believe you told Gwen who you are.”
“I told you, I’m here for the long haul,” Brad whispered. “With you.”
Ian gave a disbelieving laugh, but he leaned into Brad, fragile. So Brad held him close, dragging his wrists down Ian’s arms, his back, marking Ian as his again. At least, this was something he was in control of.
“I’m fucking terrified, Ian,” he whispered.
“Of the surgery?”
“Yeah.”
“It’ll be okay,” Ian mumbled. “It’s always gone all right so far.”
“Doesn’t mean this time it will,” Brad said.
Ian hissed. “Don’t say that!”
But Brad couldn’t help thinking about it, his stomach twisting. “She’s so young,” he said. “I just… It’s so damn horrific having her in there.”
Ian breathed out against him. “So you love her, then.”
“Yeah.”
Didn’t even have to think about it. Gwen was his daughter, and Brad probably loved her as much as he loved Ian.
He hadn’t meant to forge these connections, but he didn’t know what he’d do without them now.
Ian chuckled, tired and sad. “I didn’t want to subject you to this, you know. It’s difficult. No one else should need to hang in this balance, never knowing what will happen. You don’t need the stress.”
“But you’re doing it no matter what. I’m just joining you so you aren’t alone.”
Ian swallowed, looking away. “There’s so much more you could be doing. Other people you could be dating.”
“Yeah, I know. I’m still here.” Brad slipped his hand between them, pressing his palm to Ian’s belly. “And this is my baby, too. I’m not leaving any of you.”
Ian cracked a smile, looking away. “I can’t believe I’m this fortunate. Sometimes I just… imagine what it’d be like if Gwen was born completely normal. If I could just change her defect, if I did better during the pregnancy. If I was healthier, or… if I was a better person, if I did better things…”
Brad pressed his lips against Ian’s temple. “It’s not your fault.”
Ian sighed. “You don’t know that. I should’ve stopped her earlier. I shouldn’t have let her get out of the truck. I should’ve just taken the day off work, and—oh, shit.”
Ian’s eyes grew wide. He fumbled in his pockets for his phone, breathing hard.
On his phone, there were eight missed calls, and twenty-four messages. Brad led Ian to the gray plastic chairs against the wall, made him sit.
Ian whined, turning his phone face-down on his lap. “I missed a whole lecture.”
“It’s fine,” Brad sai
d. “It’s not gonna change your life.”
Ian hugged himself. “Harold’s going to find out, I’m sure. I’ve spent the last of my vacation days on Gwen’s hospital visits, Brad. Your dad’s going to fire me if the word gets out.”
Ian sucked in shallow, shaky breaths, and it made Brad’s chest tighten, seeing him panic like this.
So he took the phone from Ian. “I’ll call June. I’ll handle it.”
Ian covered his face. “You weren’t supposed to get involved. If your dad hears…”
“You’re mine,” Brad said, sitting next to Ian. He pulled his omega against himself, pressed a kiss to Ian’s lips. “I’ll fix this.”
“I’m older than you. I’m supposed to have my life together by now.”
“We’ll fix that later.” Brad squeezed his shoulder, unlocking Ian’s phone—he’d been with Ian long enough that he’d found out Ian’s codes. “Lemme handle this first.”
He glanced at the missed calls—two from the department office, and six from June. The messages were all from June, so Brad hit the latest one.
Brad here, he typed. Gwen’s in surgery right now. There was an emergency. Ian’s fine.
Ian turned away and pulled his knees up to his chest. Pressed his face against the wall. “He’s going to fire me, Brad. I don’t know how to deal with the bills if that happens. We’ll get kicked out of the apartment. I’ll probably go bankrupt.” Ian sucked in a sharp breath, covering his face. “That might be a better option.”
Brad linked their fingers together. The moment the phone screen lit up with an incoming call, Brad answered it. “June?”
June hesitated. “Brad?”
“Ian’s not gonna be fired, is he?”
Ian ducked his head, shoving his hands up his sleeves so he could pick at his scars. Brad caught his hand, held him steady.
“I covered for him,” June said, her voice worried. “There was a delay, though. The office heard about it. I believe they’ve been trying to contact Ian.”
“There was an emergency when we took Gwen out,” Brad said. “I’ll get receipts and everything. Is that gonna help?”
“Probably.”
“Ian can’t make it to class today. Gwen’s got a heart surgery going on right now. It won’t be done for a few hours.”
Omega Teacher’s Secret Page 17
