“Best dream ever. I asked if she wanted to attend our wedding. She said yes. And she would, you know. If she were still here.”
Ian opened his mouth, blinking hard. “That’s... that’s very nice.”
“So you’re marrying me?”
Ian’s throat worked. He smiled, and looked away. “Maybe.”
“Not a yes?” Brad nipped at Ian’s earlobe.
“Brad!” Ian frowned, leaning away. He glanced at the other people in the clinic, but the couples were minding their own business.
“It’ll be weirder if we aren’t kissing,” Brad whispered. “Can you imagine? Coming here with a bondmate you can’t stand?”
Ian cringed. “Fair point.”
“So kiss me.”
Ian’s cheeks darkened. He glanced at the other couples, but Brad had been telling the truth. No one even paid them the slightest attention.
Ian leaned in, and Brad held his breath. The times Ian initiated public kisses were few and far between. So having him slant his lips, his eyelids fluttering shut... Brad savored the sight.
Ian’s kiss was soft, hesitant. But he did it of his own accord, and Brad’s heart swelled.
He cupped the back of Ian’s head, deepening the kiss until their tongues tangled and Ian gasped against him. Musk coiled lightly from his omega’s skin; Brad growled, slipping his hand down Ian’s chest.
“We’re in public,” Ian hissed.
Brad dragged his palm down Ian’s midriff, sliding it along Ian’s abdomen. At twenty weeks, Ian’s belly was bigger now—half the size of a basketball. Their baby was in there, and Brad was waiting for him to kick. Couldn’t wait to feel their baby reacting to them, listening to their voices.
He grinned, nuzzling Ian’s ear. Ian blushed.
“So tell me,” Brad whispered. “Do I need to go beat up your mom or something?”
“Brad!” Ian squawked. “You can’t do that!”
Brad narrowed his eyes. “She made you cry, didn’t she?”
Ian looked away. “Well.”
“From the things you’ve told me about her, she isn’t that great a person.”
Ian sighed. “I don’t want to cast judgments.”
“Sometimes you have to, though,” Brad said. “So you know you’re not the one going insane. Sometimes you need to draw the line so you can tell where others fucked up, and it’s not your fault.”
Ian looked at his hands. “It’s harder when it’s your own parent.”
“I know, and I don’t mean you need to completely agree with me right now. But you’ve gotta acknowledge that the way you see yourself—that’s gotta change. You don’t deserve to beat yourself up, Ian.”
Ian swallowed, breathing out. “That sounds almost too easy.”
“It is. You know, I want you to tell yourself something every day. Every morning, when you wake up... Look in the mirror and say, ‘I am worthy.’”
Ian gave him an incredulous look.
“I mean it,” Brad said. “That’s how I think of you, anyway.”
“But I’m not!”
Brad rolled his eyes, nudging him. “That’s why you have me, isn’t it? So I can tell you that you’re being an ass.”
Ian grumbled. “I’m not an ass.”
“So do the thing. Look in the mirror. Once a day, more often if you want. Tell yourself what a beautiful person you are.”
Ian still looked doubtful, so Brad leaned their heads together, holding him close. “I wish you could meet my mom, you know. She’s the best mom ever. She’ll mom you like no other.”
Ian chuckled at that. “She’ll mom me? Is that a word?”
“Yup. It totally is.”
“I wouldn’t be much younger than her, would I?”
Brad chewed on his lip, imagining Ian and his mom in the same room. It still hurt to think about his mom, but now that he had his omega in his arms, it took the edge off his grief. “Well, maybe you and she will get along like normal human beings. It’ll probably feel strange, though. I mean, I wouldn’t know what it’d be like.”
Ian snorted. “Imagine Gwen dating someone a couple years younger than you.”
Brad imagined Gwen with some faceless person in their twenties. “That’s just creepy, Ian. She’s six!”
Ian laughed. “Then you know how I feel when I look at you.”
“I’m an adult!”
“You’re still almost two decades younger than I am.”
Brad met his eyes. Murmured, “In bed, when you’re asking me to fuck you, you don’t care how old I am. You just like my cock inside.”
Ian’s cheeks turned a dark red. “That’s not appropriate to talk about here. Or anywhere.”
“You aren’t denying it,” Brad said smugly.
Ian muttered under his breath, but he was smiling now, looking a whole lot better than he did in the car. Brad nuzzled his shoulder, stroking Ian’s waist.
“Ian McMillan!” a nurse called.
Ian jerked, shoving into Brad’s jaw. Brad bit hard on his tongue. “Ow, fuck!”
“I’m sorry!” Ian leaned away from Brad, horror flickering through his face. “Are you hurt?”
“I’m fine,” Brad said, tasting the tang of copper in his mouth. “Get going.”
He stood with Ian, following the nurse through a doorway. The nurse took Ian’s weight, and Brad sucked on his throbbing tongue. Ian looked worriedly at him.
“Stop fussing,” Brad said, nudging Ian. “I’ll give you something to fuss about in bed.”
The nurse chuckled, and Ian groaned. “Brad!”
“Gotta make someone laugh, right?” Brad grinned, squeezing Ian’s ass. Ian didn’t look appeased. Then they knocked on the door to the doctor’s office, and Ian led the way in.
Dr. Smith’s office smelled like hay—that was the first thing Brad noticed. Past the exam bed by the wall, and past the desk that occupied the other side of the room, Smith stood, reaching out to shake their hands. She was an older beta, with graying blond hair and crow’s feet around her eyes.
“Ian,” Dr. Smith said, nodding. “How have you been?”
Ian smiled wanly. “Decent. After I was last here... I had a baby girl. She was diagnosed with tetralogy of Fallot.”
Smith winced, gesturing for them to sit. “I’m sorry to hear that. How is she doing now?”
“She’s had a complete repair.” Behind the desk, Ian squeezed Brad’s hand tightly. “She had to have her pulmonary arteries widened a couple months back, but she’s recovering well.”
“I’m glad to hear that.” Smith pulled on her stethoscope, pressing it to Ian’s chest. Then, his belly. “Any other health issues?”
Brad listened as the doctor asked about Gwen. Then, they went through Ian’s health, diet, and exercise routines, and Brad stroked the back of Ian’s hand, pleased to know he was guessing Ian’s answers correctly.
“We’ll be doing an ultrasound first, and then we’ll be drawing some of the amniotic fluid for genetic deficiency tests,” Smith said. “Will that be okay?”
Ian nodded, wincing. “It will.”
Brad didn’t envy his omega at all, having to go through all those tests.
“Do lie down on the exam bed, Ian. Pull your shirt up.” Smith turned to the computer next to the bed, tapping on the keyboard. Brad held on to Ian, helping him up the step to the bed.
“I can walk, you know,” Ian whispered.
“Yeah, but I’m your alpha. I want to make sure you’ll be okay.”
Ian rolled his eyes, but he was smiling.
Dr. Smith took a tube from a tray, flipping it open. Ian pulled his shirt up, and the doctor squeezed a dollop of gel onto him. It was pale blue, clear, and Ian shivered. “I always forget how warm the gel is.”
Brad hovered close to the bed, touching Ian’s calf, waiting as the doctor pressed the ultrasound wand to Ian’s belly. She spread the gel around, and black-and-white speckles formed on the computer screen.
A few taps on the keyboard later, t
he images began to resolve themselves. Brad held his breath. Stepped closer, staring as he began to make out little shapes—the baby’s head, his spine, his tiny arms.
That was their baby, right there.
“It’s about ten inches long from head to heel,” Smith said, moving the wand this way and that. She tapped on the keyboard, snapping pictures of the baby. Ian’s eyes had glued onto the screen, and Brad saw the way Ian looked at their child, hopeful, excited.
“How is the baby?” Ian asked, almost breathless.
Smith studied the fetus from different angles. “It appears to be developing well, but we’ll have to look at the amniotic fluid analysis to have a better picture.”
Ian nodded, his hands curling into fists.
Dr. Smith glanced at Brad and Ian. “Do you want to see the baby for yourself? That is, I am assuming you’re Ian’s alpha.”
24
Brad
Brad met Ian’s eyes. Aside from June and the alphas at the station, they hadn’t gone public with their relationship in front of anyone else.
“Yes,” Ian said, holding Brad’s gaze. “He’s my alpha.”
That made Brad’s heart soar so high, he couldn’t speak. He hadn’t expected that of Ian, when Ian hardly held hands with Brad in public. The few times they had... Brad cherished those moments.
Brad realized he was smiling when his face started to ache from it. And Ian blushed, his lips twitching.
Dr. Smith handed Ian the ultrasound wand. Brad crowded close to Ian’s side, cupping Ian’s hands in his own. Together, they turned the wand around, moving it this way and that, the image on the screen shifting along with the wand.
“He’s so tiny,” Ian murmured.
“He’s ours,” Brad whispered, and Ian blushed.
It felt good, doing this with his omega. Admiring the life they’d created in Ian’s belly.
“I’ll have to see you again in a month, Ian,” Smith said kindly. “At your age, the risks of pregnancy are higher—both for you and the baby. We’ll have to perform more frequent tests to make sure your body is coping.”
Ian’s hands tensed against Brad.
“I’ll be there,” Brad told him. “It’ll be okay.”
“You don’t know that,” Ian said, his shoulders sagging.
Brad thought about the possibility of complications, of the pregnancy taking its toll on Ian. Perhaps even taking Ian’s life. His stomach twisted.
“Are complications common?” Brad asked Smith. “With... with omegas at Ian’s age.”
Smith frowned. “Sometimes. There are different risk factors, but Ian’s medical history puts him at an advantage.”
There was still Gwen’s heart defect, though.
“What about the baby’s heart?” Brad asked, suddenly worried. “Is it okay?”
“I’ve listened to the fetal heartbeat—it’s perfectly fine at this stage.”
Brad blew out a breath. At least, they wouldn’t have to worry about that for now.
He couldn’t help thinking about his mother, though, the months after losing her, and the grief that had torn through him. The dream earlier had been far too real. What if—
“At what point during the pregnancy should we... stop sexual activity?” Ian blurted. “I mean, intercourse.”
Brad stared. Realized that Ian had just gone and mentioned they were fucking, on top of having a relationship. And there Brad had expected to be asking that question himself, at some point during this visit.
Thrown off his moody thoughts, Brad gaped. He glanced at the doctor, and back at Ian. Ian really wanted the sex. Enough to come out and say it, even before Brad did.
“Really?” Brad murmured.
Ian blushed.
“As long as you experience no pain, feel free to participate in it,” Smith said with a smile. “I will suggest refraining from rough activity, however.”
Ian ducked his head, nodding vigorously. “Thank you.”
Brad slipped his hand into Ian’s, his grin creeping through his face. Ian wanted more of him. Brad couldn’t wait until tonight, when he could snuggle with Ian in bed, slide deep inside his omega.
They returned the ultrasound wand to Smith, who set it on a steel tray. “Whenever you’re ready for the amniocentesis,” she said, looking at Ian.
Ian whined, but he nodded. “I’m ready.”
Brad watched as the doctor pulled a syringe from a drawer, its needle twice as long as the body of the syringe.
“Holy fuck,” he said, horrified. That needle was going into Ian?
Ian squeezed his eyes shut.
Brad leaned in close to his omega, watching as Smith pressed the ultrasound wand to Ian’s belly. She paused after a while, disinfected Ian’s skin, and Ian sucked in a shaky breath.
Brad cradled Ian’s head. Held Ian’s hand, pressing kisses to Ian’s forehead, his cheeks, his mouth. Ian’s nails bit into Brad’s hand when the needle pierced his skin; Brad looked up at the ultrasound image, his chest aching for his omega. It looked painful.
“You’re so brave,” Brad whispered. “I love you.”
Ian whimpered.
When Smith finally pulled the needle out, Brad gathered Ian into his arms. Held him close, kissing his lips. Ian shivered against him.
“You may experience cramps for the next few hours,” Smith said, transferring Ian’s amniotic fluid into a lab test tube. “Refrain from sex, and lifting anything heavy for the rest of the day. It’s recommended that you take the rest of the day off.”
“Okay.” Ian leaned into Brad, pressing his face into Brad’s abs.
Brad stroked his head, trying to imagine taking a needle like that into his own body. That wasn’t so bad, if he were the one. But Ian, and their baby... That wasn’t fair.
Smith pressed a cotton swab to Ian’s belly, then handed him a soft towel to clean up.
“We have your ultrasound pictures available for sale, if you wish to purchase prints of them,” she added. “They’ll be five dollars a copy.”
Ian hesitated.
“Two,” Brad said.
Ian met his eyes, uncertain. “We can share one.”
Brad squeezed his hand. “I want a backup. So we can have one each. It isn’t that much money.”
“It kind of is.”
“It’s the baby, though,” Brad whispered. “And it’s for you.”
“I don’t need to spend money on me.”
But Ian glanced at the ultrasound screen, his eyes longing.
“Two,” Brad said, nudging his arm.
Ian chewed on his lip, and finally nodded. “Fine.”
Dr. Smith tapped on her keyboard. “The pictures will be ready at the receptionist’s counter. She’ll schedule your next visit, too. The results from the amniocentesis will be sent to your email in a few days. Do you have any other questions?”
“That’ll be all. Thank you,” Ian said.
Brad helped Ian to his feet. Straightened Ian’s clothes. They stopped by the next room for Ian’s bloodwork, then made their way to the receptionist. Brad touched Ian’s belly. “Does it still hurt?”
Ian shook his head. “Not right now. It might later, though.”
That sucked. Brad had read up some on amniocentesis—it was done for older omegas to check for birth defects. But it had been painful, and if it were possible, Brad would’ve suffered Ian’s pain for him. Why can’t I do that?
“How’s your tongue?” Ian asked. “Does it hurt a lot?”
Brad ran his tongue against his teeth, the bruised area aching a little. “I’m fine.”
Ian cringed. “Sorry.”
Brad nudged him. “Nah, it’s fine. You’re the one who took that needle from hell. You’re amazing.”
Ian cracked a smile. They stopped at the receptionist, where Ian arranged a date for his next appointment.
“I’ll be there,” Brad said.
“Are you sure?”
“Yup. Not gonna miss out this time, McMillan.”
Ian
smiled wanly, and Brad gathered Ian close. Stuck his credit card into the card reader before Ian could reach for his own wallet.
“Brad!”
“I told you, I’m paying.”
Brad signed off on the transaction, watching Ian’s disbelieving smile. “You shouldn’t,” Ian said. “I don’t need you paying for everything.”
“You’ve done enough,” Brad said. “Time for me to handle things.”
Ian shook his head exasperatedly, cheering up when the receptionist handed him two printed pictures of the ultrasound.
“That’s Xavier,” Brad murmured, kissing Ian’s temple. “And that’s you around him. Best picture ever.”
“You say that about every other picture.”
“Because there’s you in them.” Brad grinned, turning Ian out of the prenatal clinic. He stopped between their cars, glancing at the white plastic bag on Ian’s passenger seat. There was a familiar brown logo on it. “Hey, isn’t that from Olivier’s shop?”
“Oh!” Ian blushed. He fumbled for his keys, unlocking the door.
Brad watched as Ian leaned into the car to grab the bag. Couldn’t help admiring the curve of Ian’s ass, then his belly. Ian was so beautiful, and brave.
So Brad reached for Ian’s hip, squeezing his thigh, then his ass. Ian squawked.
“Brad!”
“Mine,” Brad growled. Dragged his wrist up Ian’s side, perking up when Ian shoved the bag at him.
“I got this for you. Sorry it’s so late.” Ian blushed, looking away.
His heart skipping, Brad peeked into the bag. Found the box of violin strings he was starting to think Ian wasn’t buying. It had been gnawing on him—he’d been wondering if Ian had been having second thoughts about their relationship.
“I told you, you were getting them for me.” Brad grinned.
Ian smacked him on the thigh. “Presumptuous jerk. I’m sorry that it’s taken me this long, though.” Ian rubbed his own arms. “I didn’t know which you needed. Olivier helped me pick them out, so it isn’t really an original gift.”
That sounded like a good reason. Maybe Brad had been worrying for nothing. “I love it anyway,” he growled, pulling Ian back into his arms. “You’re the best.”
He kissed Ian on the lips, his chest full.
Omega Teacher’s Secret Page 26
