by Abigail Agar
“You mean…you mean that your name has been mentioned?” Amelia asked.
“Mentioned? No, not mentioned. My name has been defamed. My name has been made a mockery of. If it had merely been mentioned, I would not be quite this angered. But thanks to the revenge that you and your mother have sought so desperately, I have been treated with such abhorrence that I must insist you make amends somehow,” Emma said.
“Amends? Of course. I shall do anything,” Amelia said.
“Good. Then here is what you must do. You must get all of this revoked. You must call your mother off her determined ranting and absolutely pointless anger. The two of you ought to be ashamed for being so embittered that you would put me through this. Honestly, I am unable to express my anger right now, Amelia,” Emma said.
“How are we to undo everything that has been done?” Amelia asked, dumbfounded.
“That is not my problem. It is yours. You got us all into this mess with your carelessness. Now fix it. Make it right. Otherwise, I have no use for you. Otherwise, you are the worst of friend and I am ashamed that I ever cared about your opinion,” Emma said.
“Please don’t say that. I care about you. We are friends,” Amelia said.
“No. Friends do not put one another through this for the sake of a vendetta. You have not been a friend to me of late. Not since your brother arrived. You have blamed him at every turn when you are the one who has caused all of this mess,” Emma continued, more than willing to share her thoughts and tell Amelia what she really thought.
Amelia appeared to be shrinking and Emma was glad that the streets were not busier. She was able to say what she wanted without embarrassing herself by being the centre of attention. Moreover, she was able to be on the street without anyone looking at her and whispering about the fact that she was the one mentioned in the scandal papers.
“I-I…” Amelia said, searching for what it was that she wished to convey.
“Enough. You have done enough damage to me and to my family. I do not know who you think you are, but you must decide whether or not our friendship is worth anything at all to you. If it is not, you may go about as you have been. You may continue in your selfishness. Otherwise, you must figure out how to make all of this right. I have no more use of you for the time being,” Emma said.
That was it. She had said all that needed to be said. She turned away and started walking in the opposite direction, still not having made up her mind as to where she would go next.
If Amelia would not listen, if she would continue to harm Emma in her quest to destroy the earl, then it was up to Emma to do as she pleased. She would no longer be bound to her loyalty that did not exist for her in return.
She had done so much for Amelia, had always tried to be a good friend to her. She had stuck up for her even when she disagreed with something. That had not started with her brother having come to town, that was how it had always been. She had always done what she could to defend Amelia.
But she would not do it anymore. Shrugging off the responsibility for her friend was a freedom that Emma craved. She could finally be her own woman, she could finally be free of having to be subject to the whims and opinions of someone who was allowing these things to happen to her.
If all of her mistakes had come about like this anyway, what was there left for her? Why should Emma not do exactly as she pleased?
To think that she had to restrict herself to the rules and laws of a friend who would betray her so freely. It was nonsense.
Emma considered the fact that Amelia had allowed this to happen.
If she had just listened, if she had been willing to humble herself and accept that this was all a mistake, then none of it would’ve happened. All of this could have been avoided.
What Miss Lockhart had done was all in an effort to get her revenge. But her revenge had come at the expense of Emma’s freedom. it had come at the expense of her reputation and, ultimately, her future.
Her mother and father had worked so hard to ensure that she was seen in a positive light. They had made every effort to keep their family name clean.
So much of that effort was in order that Emma might be able to marry well. It had been in their determination to give her a good life that they sought to prevent any scandal from touching their family.
And now, all of that was for nothing. Now, the scandal sheets had got wind of her good name and they were exploiting her for a bit of gossip. They were going to turn her into their next disgraced young woman, a cautionary tale for other young women. They would know not to become like Miss Emma Sproul. They should not intermingle with noblemen who would use them.
Yes, she would be the woman in every story. Someone would make a mistake and others would compare them to that ignoble Miss Sproul. They would be warned that if they gave up their virtue, they would be just like Miss Sproul, the girl who cared nothing for the value of her name.
These thoughts swarmed around in Emma’s head as she walked. She had to make a decision before she would go mad. Would she go home? Or would she risk the gossip growing even further?
She knew exactly where she would go.
Emma would find the earl.
Chapter 21
There was a knock at the door and Eric could not imagine who it was. After all, Amelia and her mother had made it perfectly clear that they had no desire to see him. Reginald had returned to London for the afternoon and was not coming back until later.
He turned the handle and opened the door to reveal none other than Miss Sproul.
Eric swallowed, shocked that she was there before him. Had he not been trying to respect her desire for distance?
And yet, it appeared as though she no longer cared. The look in her eyes told him that she was not there for any reason other than wanting to be. There was no conflict in her gaze. She was determined.
“M-Miss Sproul. Are you all right? You are not. I can see it in your eyes. You are upset,” Eric said.
“Yes, I am very upset,” she confessed, coming through the door.
“What is it? Have I done something? You are angry and I should hate to think that I am the cause of it, but if I am, please be honest with me. Tell me, what is the matter?” Eric asked.
“Have you seen the scandal sheets?” Miss Sproul asked him.
He had not. But knowing that he had been spoken of so ill in them lately, and knowing that it had been hinted that he had a young paramour to be listed, he could only take a guess as to why she would be this angry and upset. He knew that she must have been written about. There was no other explanation.
“I have not. Please, tell me that they have not brought you into this,” he said.
“They have done just that. I do not have the sheet with me. Do you have a copy?” she asked.
Eric sighed and nodded.
“I had not brought myself to look at them yet. I am so sorry. If only I had read it sooner, I might have been able to do something,” he said, finding the sheet on the table.
“Such as? How could you mitigate something that has already been printed. And if you deny it, who is going to listen? No one trusts you. No one trusts either of us now. What does our word mean when we have been spoken of in this paper?” Miss Sproul asked, her voice bitter and tinged with an emotion that he had never heard from her before.
She was not the sweet, forgiving soul that he had imagined her to be for so long. There was a deep unhappiness in her now that he understood, but it saddened him nonetheless.
Eric scanned through the paper, trying to set aside his concern for her long enough that he could concentrate on the words upon the page.
And then he found it. He saw where his name was written and where Miss Sproul’s name was beside it. He read how she was being portrayed along with him.
Eric could hardly believe what was before his eyes. He had never thought that things would get this far. He had never imagined that his sister and her mother would go so far as to destroy the reputation of someone that they claimed
to care about so deeply.
And yet, here they were. Miss Sproul was being victimised by their hatred. She was paying the price of the anger that they held towards his father.
Eric was deeply saddened. A small part of him was ashamed, although he knew that he had done nothing wrong in this. It was not his fault that she was being put through such a terrible quest for revenge.
But Eric could not help the guilt that he felt. Although he had not taken part in causing this, was it not their desire to see him destroyed that had ultimately brought this about?
He looked up at Miss Sproul and took in the sight of her.
There was pain in her eyes. As she saw him acknowledge the words upon the page, he could see that she felt the betrayal from Amelia. She was hurt that she could so easily be disregarded.
“I am so sorry, Miss Sproul. I cannot imagine how you must be feeling in this moment. I never meant for you to get caught up in the middle of all of this. It is awful. You do not deserve this,” he said.
The anger that Eric felt was boiling underneath his skin, but he tried to remain calm for her sake. He did not wish for Miss Sproul to be overwhelmed by his emotions.
He had to control himself, to contain his anger. There had to be a better way to handle all of this than the fury that he wanted to unleash.
“No, I do not deserve this. Nevertheless, it is what has come to pass and how I am being viewed by society. Your sister and her mother have come out with this, have allowed the scandal sheets to scandalise me when I had nothing at all to do with any of this,” she said.
Eric hung his head, wishing that there was something he could do.
“I am so sorry, Miss Sproul,” he said.
She appeared to soften, and he saw that it was not him that she was angry at.
“I know. I know that you are. And this is not your fault. None of it. You never meant for any of this to happen and I understand that,” she said.
Eric felt a sense of hope then, but he could see that she was not finished speaking and he felt bad that he was so happy that she was not angry at him. Even if he had not been entirely at fault, she was still hurt by what was going on.
“I am so angry at Amelia. I cannot imagine what it was that led her to allowing this to happen. She claims that she did not do this on purpose and I know that she did not give them my name directly, but it hardly matters. I have been caught in the middle of the battle that they began,” Miss Sproul said.
“Perhaps she did not tell them to write about you, but somehow your name has been recognised in association with mine and she and her mother had to have been responsible in doing that in some way,” Eric reasoned.
He had never been angrier at his sister than he was in that moment. Through everything that had happened, through all of the gossip and the lies, none of it had mattered so much as this.
Now, it was not simply him who had been affected. It was the woman that he was growing to love.
When he realised that, when he realised that it was love that stirred in his heart, his anger grew. A righteous anger that wanted to defend the beautiful young woman before him.
He would have to see Amelia. He would have to tell her that he could not allow this to go on.
“Miss Sproul, I know that it is too late to undo all of this, but you have my word that whatever I am able to do, I shall do,” Eric said.
“And what do you think you can do?” she asked, her eyes hopeful just as her voice betrayed its hopelessness.
“I wish I knew. I don’t. And that must be very disappointing for you. But I am a determined man and if I can find a way to make this right, to get you out of all of this mess, I will find it,” Eric said.
“You will do that for me?” Miss Sproul asked, her eyes searching for something in his.
Eric’s voice grew slow, quiet, deliberate. He knew what he wanted to say. He only had to find simpler words to say it, words that contained the action he would take. Words that hid the emotion and affection that truly lay beneath it all.
“I will do anything for you. Whatever it takes. I will find a way, Miss Sproul. I promise you,” Eric said, more determined than ever.
Eric held her beautiful eyes. He did not want to let them go. In that moment, it felt as though they had grown closer, deeper. He wanted that to continue. To let go of their moments of connection was in agony.
But alas, he also knew that in that moment, they were alone together. She had come to see him and that put her at an even greater risk.
“You should go,” he finally whispered, although his voice was nearly strangled in doing so. Telling her to leave was one of the most difficult things that he had ever done.
“Go? Must I?” she asked, her eyes pleading to stay just a little longer.
Eric took in a deep breath. He knew that it was a risk for her to stay. They were at the inn, in his rented rooms. Reginald was not there. No one was. It was only the two of them.
Anyone could claim anything, and they would not be able to refute it. There was no one to give witness to anything different than what the scandal sheets were already saying about them.
“I-I fear that you must,” Eric finally said.
Her face was resigned, already prepared for that answer. Although he did not want to say the words, he had to. It was for their own good.
“Yes, I suppose that I must. I understand. But I leave you with the promise that I will also do what I am able. I shall speak with your sister again. Not only about the scandal sheets, about which I have already expressed my displeasure,” Miss Sproul said.
“And what else? What else are you going to speak with her about?” Eric asked, hoping for anything that might keep her a moment longer even though he knew that she needed to leave as quickly as possible.
“I shall tell her to treat you better. This time, I am going to convince her. After all that she has been a part of, I know that her heart is hurting. She will make a change. I am determined, as you are. We will see to it that she lets go of this hate that she is holding on to,” Miss Sproul said.
Eric nodded, happy to know that she cared so much and that she wanted to see him treated better.
“Thank you for that. I would like to know my sister beyond all of this. I would like for us to be friends,” he said.
“And I hope to one day see that. But until then, you ought to hold on. It may get more difficult before it gets easier,” she said.
“How so?” Eric asked.
“Because that is how society works. If there is a chance to make life harder, it will. Anyway, I must be leaving. But I shall see you again soon,” she said.
Eric watched her leave. Saying goodbye to the young woman that he cared for so deeply would never be easy. But, in many ways, it had never been this hard.
Something had changed between them. Something had shifted. Although they had not spoken their feelings aloud, Eric finally trusted that they existed. He could not deny that she felt the same as he did.
Although that should’ve been a comfort to him, in some ways it only pained him. It meant that she really could be used to bring him pain. It meant that she was an easy fodder.
Eric did not know the best route to take. But he was growing used to that. He was growing to understand that he dwelt in a realm of uncertainty.
And although he wondered if that would ever change, he was glad that at least he was not alone.
Chapter 22
