by Abigail Agar
“I suppose. I suppose you are right, but…” Amelia trailed off.
“But what?” Emma asked.
“But nothing. It was only another excuse,” Amelia confessed, finally recognising that she was seeking to use anything she could as an excuse.
Emma was feeling extremely proud of her friend who was beginning to use discernment and maturity to change her own situation. It was time. It was long past time. But it was happening.
Finally Amelia had opened up somewhat. Emma was glad that she was able to understand some small aspect of her friend. She hoped that in the future things between them would change.
She hoped that they would understand one another.
She hoped that they could each forgive.
Chapter 25
By now, Eric was no longer surprised each time a letter came to him. There were enough people who knew where he was that it was no longer unusual.
But when this letter arrived, he opened it with caution. He had not expected anything from Amelia. She had made it clear that she did not wish to see him, so why would he expect it?
He opened the letter and began to read, thinking that this could be a turning point.
To the Sixth Earl of Thornbury,
Please accept this letter which I am writing to invite you to come and see me at the dress shop.
I know that things have not been right between us. I know that there has been a strain in consideration of you as my brother and me as your sister. However, I am seeking to make things right now. I do not know what it is going to look like. In fact, I should ask that you do not get your hopes up. Indeed, I may still disapprove of anything friendly between us.
However, you are my brother. And because you are my brother, I am hoping that we might find a way to make things mutually agreeable between us. Although we have yet to see whether or not this will work.
I do not really know how I feel, even as I write you this letter. A part of me is warning me that I am doing something rather silly and that this is all a mistake. And yet, I cannot quite help myself. As it happens, I really do wish to know what might come of a friendship between us and I am curious to think that I could possibly know my only other relative.
I know that you have been eager for this sort of letter from me for quite some time, but I urge you not to get too excited. I have not yet made up my mind on these matters. Please, be patient with me. We shall see what occurs.
Having said all of that please come to the shop tomorrow afternoon. As usual, Mr. and Mrs. Bonham will be out. I do hope that you will consider this and come to see me.
Amelia Lockhart
Eric read the letter again. It was fairly straightforward, but he was still curious. Of course, the letter had been signed with no terms of endearment. Still, he was comforted.
It was the following day that Eric and Reginald made their way to the shop. At the time they had been told to come, in the afternoon, Eric walked through the door and made his way to the sewing room while Reginald waited in the main part of the shop.
Amelia was seated and she looked up when he entered.
“Good afternoon,” he greeted. He stood, rather formally, not wanting to encroach upon her territory or make her feel as though he was too comfortable. It was far better that he show an awkwardness for now as opposed to a comfort.
“Yes, good afternoon,” she replied, a tension in her gaze. It appeared as though she was also feeling the awkwardness that Eric had posed. She felt it and she did not appear to be enjoying it any more than he had been.
Miss Sproul was not present and Eric was surprisingly glad for that. He had come to see his sister and felt as though he would have been far too distracted if Miss Sproul had been present. He would more than likely have spent the whole time staring at her or trying to get her approval.
That was not the sort of man that he wanted to be. He wanted to be someone who understood his priorities and knew that, for the moment at least, his sister was at the top of the list.
“Thank you for coming,” Amelia said.
“Yes, well, it sounded important and I wanted to come and see you. I have always been here, waiting for you to be willing to see me,” Eric said, laughing with his confession.
“I know. I know that you have been waiting patiently for me to manage my feelings and invite you to spend some time and getting to know one another,” she said.
“Yes, I suppose that is true. I just want to know you,” he said.
“Well, here are the things that you must know before we decide to become close, to become family,” Amelia said, trying to begin.
“Please, tell me whatever it is that you wish to say,” he said.
“The reason that I am continuing to hold all of this against you is because I wish that our father had cared for me. Even just a slight bit. But he did not. I wish that he had cared enough about me to claim me as his own daughter. But he did not,” she said.
Eric tried not to be affected by her emotions. He wanted to draw his sister into an embrace, but knew that they did not yet have that level of trust. Still, he could see the sadness pooling as tears in her eyes.
“I wish that he had been willing to provide for me, to care even just a bit about me,” she said again, stressing how important it was to her.
“Yes, of course. You have every right to wish for those things,” Eric said, trying to validate her as best he could.
“But that was never in his mind. He could not even bring himself to visit me from time to time. We never met. Not once. He never came to see me after I was born. I lost something deeply important. I lost out on having a father and I believe that having a father must be a wonderful thing,” Amelia said, her voice passionate with longing.
Eric did not want to tell her that having a father was not always ideal. To say that would completely neglect the pain that she felt. And although his father had been difficult, he knew that there were far worse men out there. Who was he to tell her that having his particular father was worse than having another? Or having no father at all?
No, that was nothing he could say.
“I don’t know. I just wish that I had been loved by him. I wish that I could have had the opportunity to say whether or not I wanted him in my life rather than having him make that decision for me,” she said.
“Yes, that must have been awful, terribly frustrating. It was wrong of him to make that decision rather than give you the chance to make up your own mind on matters,” Eric said.
“Yes, it was. I would have liked to have been given the chance. Every young woman wishes to have a father in her life,” Amelia said. There was a youth to her words, like a woman who still carried the wounds of a child.
As Amelia spoke her words, Eric was deeply distraught. He wondered whether or not his father had ever even considered these things.
Had he wondered about his daughter? Had he considered her happiness? Had he ever thought about whether or not he might wish to visit her?
But Eric knew his father well enough to know that the man was hardly sentimental. He considered his lack of emotion to be a strength.
Eric had always considered it a benefit in his attempts to use others.
But there she was, his sister, lost to her tears. She was gravely upset about the fact that their father had been so neglectful of her. And why should she not be?
“I am so sorry for everything that he did. You are right, you know. He made a grave mistake. And I think that he would regret it if he had been able to get to know you now. If he had realised how lovely you are, he would have wanted to know you,” Eric said.
“Lovely? People say that I am too brash to be lovely,” Amelia said, laughing through her tears.
“Well, that is precisely the sort of lovely that he could appreciate. You know, he was not overly fond of me at times. He said that I was weak because I did not speak my mind enough. And because of my idealistic tendencies, he said that I was unrealistic,” Eric told her.
“So he preferred p
essimism and brashness?” Amelia asked.
“Yes, he really did. I think that you got a fair share of it from your mother, but you inherited some from him as well,” Eric told her.
Amelia wiped at her tears, appearing lighter now.
“No wonder their relationship was so dynamic. If they were both people with volatile tendencies, it makes sense that they struggled,” Amelia said.
Eric nodded.
“Yes, that does make sense. And anyway, I really am sorry for all that he did. I know that you were hurt because of it all. But whatever mistakes our father made, I truly want to be in your life. I want to be a part of it. I want for us to know one another and I promise that I will never neglect or abandon you,” Eric said.
Amelia looked at him with caution and he could see that she was trying to consider his offer.
“I understand that is what you want. I did not ask you here today to welcome you into my life, however. I asked you here that we might speak and that I could tell you that I will consider it. I am making no promises, but I will think about it,” she said.
“That is good enough for me, for now,” Eric said.
“Good. I will need time. I will try not to take too much time, but I will need some. I don’t know how to make a decision like this. If I allow you into my life, it means letting go of everything that I have ever known before,” she said.
“And that must be very frightening,” Eric said.
“Yes, it is. Very frightening. I think it is going to be worth it. But it is very frightening,” she agreed.
Eric could not pretend that he did not want to be a part of his sister’s life. She meant everything to him now. He had left his own mother in England, in the midst of all of the gossip, for the sake of getting to know Amelia.
He only wished that she would see and understand that.
Eric heard the sound of the door open and then the voices of Reginald and Miss Sproul greeting one another. The young woman came into the room with a surprised look on her face.
She looked between Eric and Amelia before backing out of the doorway again.
“Don’t worry, Emma. We are finished,” Amelia said.
Eric nodded, taking that as his dismissal.
“Yes, yes, we have finished speaking,” he said.
“Oh, all right then,” Miss Sproul said.
Reginald apparently heard that and came into the doorway, peering into the sewing room.
It did not escape Eric’s notice that his sister looked at Reginald with the same admiration with which he often found himself looking at Miss Sproul.
“Perhaps you may tell us another time when it would be convenient to see you, if you like. But we will wait, as you have requested,” Eric said to his sister, hoping to give her a chance to get to know Reginald better.
“Yes, yes. I think there will be a time. But I will let you know,” she said.
“All right then. I hope that the two of you have a lovely afternoon,” Eric said.
He looked at Miss Sproul and held her gaze for a brief moment, taking in the slight smile, before he and Reginald made their way from the room and out of the shop.
On the street, both of them shared a goofy grin.
“How did it go with your sister?” Reginald asked.
“Very well. She opened up quite a bit and shared some emotions that I had not thought her capable of. I think it is still going to be some time before she is willing to open her heart to me fully, but at least this is progress,” Eric said.
“Well, that is something,” Reginald said.
“Yes. And you? What did you think of my sister?” he asked with a laugh.
Reginald’s cheeks grew pink and he spluttered for a moment.
“I-I-you…” he said.
“I know, I know. You needn’t say another word about it. I was distracted once Miss Sproul entered the room and I am heartily ashamed at the distraction that she has been to me in the midst of trying to get to know my sister,” Eric said.
“Indeed, she has distracted you a great deal. But it would appear that things are finally coming together, and I hope that she will no longer be a distraction, but rather a courtship,” Reginald said.
“Yes, that is what I am hoping for as well. No matter what society has to say on the matter, I do like her. There can be nothing scandalous about that,” Eric said.
“But that is the problem with society. It turns everything into a scandal. Be careful. You just might find yourself in a difficult situation all over again,” Reginald warned him.
But Eric was done trying to be careful. His sister was so close to letting him into her life. There was forgiveness all around him and that meant that this nastiness was finally coming to a close. There was nothing left to fear. There was only hope.
Chapter 26
Amelia and Emma were busily sewing in preparation for the ball at Lord and Lady Finklestaff’s estate the following weekend. There had been six last-minute orders for gowns and they barely knew whether or not they would manage to complete them in time.
However, Mr. and Mrs. Bonham insisted that they would not refuse orders, even if the two girls had to work all day and all night for the next six days.
“This is utterly ridiculous,” Amelia huffed.
“Of course it is. How can they expect us to accomplish a task like this?” Emma agreed, her anger showing in a vertical line that ran down her forehead.
“I think we should just up and leave. Start our own shop,” Amelia said.
“Yes, because we have more than enough money to do so. And names. Everyone is well aware that this shop is run by Emma and Amelia and not Mr. and Mrs. Bonham. It would be terribly easy for us to do,” Emma said, her sarcasm turned sour.
“You act as though I am being unreasonable,” Amelia muttered, although Emma saw the grin under her words.
“So, what do you think we ought to do?” Emma asked.
“I don’t even know. What is there for us to do? We are poor and dependent upon them and that’s all there is to it,” Amelia said.
Emma knew that she was right, but it still hurt to hear.
“Well, then, let us work hard and finish these gowns so that Lady Pickle-Puff can marry Lord Popple-Poff,” Emma mocked.
Amelia laughed heartily and the two nearly had to stop their stitches just to get control over their humour.
“You are a very bad girl, you know,” Amelia said, once she had regained her ability to breathe freely.
“I know, but that is why we are friends. We have it in common,” Emma said.
“You ought to be ashamed of picking on those poor saps,” Amelia said.
“You mean the wealthy saps?” Emma asked.
“Yes, those,” Amelia sighed. “Wealthy saps like my brother.”
Amelia’s eyes trailed off into the corner of the room, as if she had gone somewhere else entirely. Her hands, accustomed to their duty, continued their work as Emma watched her. She could see that Amelia was thinking about something she didn’t want to think about.
