Mine.
Christa.
Mate.
The barrage of words had repeated over and over, even before she’d walked toward him, even before he’d caught a new whiff of her scent. He’d die with that scent in his head.
She’d stared right at him, met his eyes. His brain had growled “mate” and “equal” with ferocity. She hadn’t been scared…which scared the hell out of him. What kind of girl wasn’t scared when confronted by a wolf? Maybe the kind who belonged with one.
But there was no way. No way in hell. She’d still looked young and fragile. He was thirty-two, and he was three strikes out of relationships. Alphas were expected to be monogamous—and he had been, with each one of the alpha females. Christa was like a breath of fresh air and deserved to be the first, not just the last. She deserved some guy fresh off a farm who’d never seen a girl before. Not an old wolf, aged by experience.
Not to mention, this vendetta he was pursuing was dangerous. But if it cost him his life, it was worth it. He just couldn’t drag anyone else into it. Especially not her.
Plus, he and Dane had butted heads over and over, but they respected each other. She was off-limits, so it was just as well she’d left and gone back to wherever she was headed. Maybe the distance would lessen the scent-match’s hold. Hopefully, it would. He’d nearly lost his mind the last time around. There’d be no way he’d stay Alpha if that happened again and for a longer period of time.
His phone rang as he reached the top step leading out of the den. The hospital was calling?
“What? What’s happened?” His mouth went dry. Vanessa had seemed fine when he’d seen her. Her baby had seemed healthy.
“Hey,” she said. “So…scent-matched on Dane’s sister, huh?”
He sighed, his shoulders relaxing. “He’s not there?”
“Nope. He went home to shower so I figured I’d call and…you know…poke at the wound. So, scent-matching on a human…that seems dumb.”
He rolled his eyes. Okay, he deserved this from her. Possibly this and more. Two years ago, he’d had a lot of pride, and everything was black and white. He’d known what was best for the pack. He’d been an arrogant fool, and everyone had paid.
“Not just a human, but someone from the stubborn, stubborn Hansen family. Remind me again how those rules go for when I scent-matched with Dane. Let’s see—his life was forfeit if he interfered with pack business—or if he wasn’t good enough—or if I blew him off one day and decided he wasn’t worth it.” She cleared her throat. “So, is that for all Hansens or just the one I picked?”
“It doesn’t matter. It might as well have not happened. It’s not going to happen.”
She snorted. “Yeah, right. Good luck with that. I lasted about three hours that first day. How long did you make it? Or did you wait for her outside?”
He didn’t answer.
“Yeah, I figured. The next night, I showed up at his house, and I barely remembered leaving my house to go there. The pull is intense.”
“It doesn’t matter. I’m not going to have anything to do with her from here on out.”
“That’s what I told Dane about you to calm him down, but I knew I was buying you time so he could get used to you and his baby sister being together.”
Jordan blew out a slow breath. She shouldn’t even be saying that—shouldn’t be filling his head with the possibility, because it wasn’t going to happen. He needed to focus on trapping the poachers in their own net. That made sense.
The phone line went fuzzy and clicked.
“What was that?” Vanessa asked. “Did you drop the phone?”
“No. It’s this house.” He moved closer to the cordless phone’s receiver, even though he knew it wouldn’t help.
“You need a new phone.”
“It’s not the phone. It’s my phone lines. The hell of rural living.” He rubbed his forehead tiredly. No cell reception, and a constant buzz on his line.
“Get it fixed.”
“I’m not home often enough for it to matter.”
Vanessa groaned. “Yes, you are. You’ve gotten pathetic. If the pack hadn’t split, you’d have been challenged for Alpha because I had more fight in me last night in the middle of the epidural, and Dane can tell you—he asked the nurse if there was an epidural kit for at home because we weren’t fighting for the first time in our marriage.”
They did like to argue.
“I’m older…and wiser now.” He felt older, at the very least.
“No, you’re pathetic. You’re taking crap from me, even. Hell, I’ve wondered if you want someone to challenge you to end it. I know if Troy had challenged you instead of leaving with the others, he’d have taken the fight to the death.”
There was silence. Heavy silence.
“Jordan, tell me it’s not like that.”
He’d been relieved when his former acting Alpha, Travis, had left Glacier pack to start his own and taken the younger, unmated Lycans like Troy with him. If Jordan had wanted someone to challenge him, it would have been easy enough to force them to stay.
“It’s not like that.” Life just wasn’t as intense anymore. The arrogance that had driven him had been false—based on idealism and this crazy surety that he could change things and impact the greater good. Now he knew he was a single Lycan in a bigger world, and he had no intention of passing on his genes thinking he was a great gift to mankind. He’d leave that to Vanessa and Dane, who appeared to have every intention of repopulating the species single-handedly.
She sighed. “Maybe this scent-match is the best thing for you.”
“It’s not going to happen. Besides, she isn’t local—and don’t even tell me where she lives.”
“Yeah, that’s the other reason I called. She’s staying with us.”
“What?” It exploded out of him. His entire plan for avoidance hinged on her not being around; if she was around, well, he was screwed.
“Yep. Roommate trouble. She’s staying with us for a bit.”
He leaned forward and banged his head against a wall.
“She’s nice. She could be good for you.”
“I’d be bad for her. Ask Dane.”
“Yeah, he’ll kick your ass, and I think you could use that, too. But Dane won’t think anyone is good enough for his sister.” He could hear the baby in Vanessa’s arms stirring as she said it—and it reinforced what was wrong with all of this. The scent-match made you want to dominate and own, and Christa deserved some guy who could wrap his world around her and give her a real family. Not an Alpha who’d demand submission and the right to procreate. Plus, it was likely he’d get her killed. His alpha females had gone that way lately. It was time to break the pattern.
No, she definitely wasn’t meant for him.
She might be the best he’d ever do—and the right person to make him whole again, but that wouldn’t be fair to her. She could do a lot better. She should do a lot better.
“Let it go, Nessa. She’s just…not right for me.”
“You do seem to favor homicidal psychopaths.”
“Yep, so that’s why I’m staying far, far, far away from Christa Hansen.”
Vanessa laughed.
“What?”
“So, you found out her name, huh?”
He hung up on her.
…
That night, as he paced in front of his fireplace, his phone rang and he snatched it up before he’d even glanced at the caller ID. “Yes.”
“It’s gone,” Garret said.
“What’s gone?”
“Everything.”
Inhaling and exhaling through his nose, he sought for the patience that had deserted him and left behind the scent of forever and Christa, and he clenched his fists and fought the change. Again. “What is gone?”
“I was going to set up a meeting with you and the poacher, but he’s pulled up stakes and left the forum entirely. There’s nothing here to show they even existed. It’s all gone.”
“M
aybe you spooked him.”
“How? By reading his words? By being on there? I hadn’t done anything yet.”
“Maybe he thought he’d been found out.”
He could hear Garret shrug. “Or…” It hung in the air between them. Garret was older and sought dominance in their exchanges, but an Alpha didn’t repeat statements for clarification.
He waited. And gritted his teeth.
Garret sighed. “Or maybe someone else took him up on the offer. You should watch your back.”
“They’d need to get my pack at a disadvantage. That won’t happen.”
“You’re not immortal, Jordan.”
“Yes, well, only the good die young, so I’m as good as immortal. This is only a setback. The poacher might have moved to another forum.”
“What do you want me to do?” Then the air hissed through his teeth. “If I feel like doing it, I mean.” Unintentional but instinctual deference to their youngest brother had always pissed off his siblings.
“Watch other forums. And keep in touch.”
Snorting, his brother said, “Oh, the Hills are tight.”
There was a lull in the conversation, and he had the strangest desire to tell his brother about Christa and get his advice.
“So, that’s it then?” his brother asked, shuffling his feet back and forth. He cleared his throat.
Sometimes, even their deference pissed Jordan off, because it drew attention to the rift between them.
“Unless you want to come stay with me for a while.” Where had that come from? Had he just said that?
“Why?”
“You seem concerned.”
“I’m not.”
“Okay.”
“If I was…it would be for your pack. They’ve got a fool at their head who got locked out of his house naked dozens of times on full moons.”
“You locked me out.”
There was a smile in Garret’s voice as he said, “I’d do it again if I was staying with you. Every night. You’d be wandering around bare-assed constantly.”
“Yes, well, you fail to consider that I’m even more impressive naked these days than clothed.”
“I’ll think about it.” He coughed. “Staying with you, I mean…not your…”
And he slammed the phone down as Jordan laughed.
…
Four days later, Jordan called Vanessa on her cell phone. He’d heard she was out of the hospital.
“Why does she sleep all the time?” he asked when Vanessa answered. He’d tried not to care—tried not to notice. And once he knew why Christa slept all the time, he could go back to not caring and not noticing, in theory.
“She is tired because Nathanial has his days and nights messed up.”
“That’s why Christa is sleeping so much? You’re having her take care of your child?”
“Oh, no. Not her.” Her voice picked up a note of sarcasm. “Gee, I thought you were calling to ask about me…and about your newest pack member. Can’t imagine why.”
“Christa is a pack member.” It sounded right coming out of his mouth. Her name sounded good on his tongue. He tipped his head back and pinched the bridge of his nose. Don’t go there, Jordan. Not again.
“Is she?”
“She’s kin to Dane. We’ve taken in relatives of pack members.”
“Hmm.”
He sighed. “How are you, Nessa? How is your son?”
“We’re great, just tired. Eventually he’s got to sleep, right?”
“I have no idea—I was the youngest. Most of my knowledge of kids is from my own childhood, and I’m pretty sure that’s suspect—especially since I tried to spend my entire twelfth year as a wolf. My parents had to homeschool me, and my siblings told everyone I had leprosy.”
“Huh…well, I know who to see for delightful stories about raising children. Okay, I’ll throw you a bone, but then you’re answering a question.”
He didn’t like the sound of that, but didn’t protest because it sounded like she might actually answer his question about Christa.
“Christa has multiple sclerosis—MS. So she has these flare-ups where she gets weak, and her hands and feet don’t work quite right, and she’s exhausted. She also keeps getting dizzy. I guess stress with her roommate triggered this one, but she said it feels like she’s pulling out of it.”
“So, it’s like a disease?” His heart clenched tight, like he was having a heart attack. He’d assumed she was sick with something like a flu.
“Yep.”
“Like…fatal?” Now his breathing was shallow and difficult. What the hell was the matter with him? He licked his lips, but his mouth was dry as a desert. She had to be okay.
“I guess eventually, but not anytime soon, probably. Dane said it’ll probably get harder for her to walk at some point, and she’ll be in a wheelchair, but she seems fine when she isn’t having one of these flare-ups.”
The tightness of his chest lessened and he sucked in a deep breath. So, she was frail. Another reason they shouldn’t be together. It still couldn’t beat the big, red, bolded reason: Dane.
To be scent-matched to the sister of the man who’d killed the last female he’d scent-matched to—a man he’d tried to kill, twice—was a cruel joke from the universe. Not that he blamed Dane for killing Sammy. She’d already killed two fellow Lycans and was bent on killing Vanessa. He barely knew her—and, well, she’d been psychotic. Killing her had released Jordan from the insane, obsessive nature of the scent-match.
It’d torn him clear through when Sammy died, but he’d been grateful because, hell, he never wanted to feel like that again. He had to stay away from Christa. He didn’t want anything in his life that would sting if it was taken from him.
“Okay,” he said finally.
“Now, you tell me, how do you know she’s not sleeping?”
He rubbed his palm against his forehead. Because he wasn’t sleeping. Because he moved like a zombie during the day, and at night, he’d mean to go on patrol and end up near enough to hear Christa sleeping…and he’d return during the day—to hear Christa sleeping…and usually Nathanial crying too. But Christa was always sleeping. She was Sleeping Beauty.
His wolf side wouldn’t leave her alone. He could control the man, but his primal side felt Christa was his and belonged with him. Any time he shifted, he could count on the wolf running to be near her. Being out of control like this sickened him—weakened him. He was damn grateful the poacher hunt was on hold because he wasn’t sure he could concentrate on vengeance four-footed.
“Please tell me you’re not coming in the house,” Vanessa whispered.
“No! Of course I’m not. I’m not even going on your property…technically.” Barely. He was staying at the very edge. “And I know this because your mate has marked his territory pretty thoroughly.”
Vanessa laughed. “Yeah, he drank a lot of water at the hospital…a lot of water. I came home to find he’d been busy during his trips home to shower. It’s disgusting, but then again, he said you peed on his Jeep, and he didn’t trust you to stay away from what was his. And he’s right, sort of; he just doesn’t get that she belongs to you now.”
She didn’t. He was never going to go near her again. If he had to chain himself to the bed or lock everything up tight so he couldn’t leave in Lycan form, he was going to stay away from her if it killed him.
It might kill him.
“She doesn’t belong to me—or even with me, and I’m staying away. I was just…concerned. And I was in wolf form when I pissed on his Jeep.”
“Uh-huh, and he can’t get furry so he’s gone…native.” She sighed. “It really is disgusting. I should stop him, but he seems to think it’s helping.” She yawned right against the phone. “Was that it? Was that what you wanted?”
“Yes. Also, when are you coming back to work? I know it’s the off-season, but the filing is stacking up.”
She hung up on him.
Chapter Three
What a freaking n
ightmare! Lucifer yowled loudly from the carrier on the seat next to her. He’d always been so well-behaved, but apparently, he didn’t care to be boarded. So, she’d driven an hour there and now back to get him—and it was too soon. She was exhausted. Besides, she had no place to go. She’d told Vanessa she was going to convince them, but they wouldn’t see reason! They’d handed her Lucifer in his carrier with all his worldly possessions and food. Her cat was a nomad now, too.
They were both pathetic.
But now what? She couldn’t take him to her brother’s place. She didn’t want to be the one jabbing Vanessa with an EpiPen while calling an ambulance—actually, she didn’t want anyone doing that. And most hotels wouldn’t take pets, and she was just plain exhausted. She pulled over to the side of the road and eyed Vanessa’s directions.
Her sister-in-law had said the roads looked different at night and she’d need directions, but these roads looked nothing like what she remembered.
“Lucifer? I think Vanessa is trying to get rid of us.” Christa shook her head and looked at the directions. It was nonsense. Where did all these turns come from? “Different in the dark, my ass, I swear we’re nowhere near the right road. We’re going to be living on berries and whatever you can catch. Hopefully you can take down a deer or…whatever.”
Dropping her head back against the headrest, she groaned. Her bones felt heavy with exhaustion and she could hear the bed at her brother’s calling to her. Only it wasn’t calling loud enough, because she had to be lost, and a spattering rain had her wipers moving double time. As if everything else wasn’t enough, her cell phone kept losing reception, so she couldn’t use the GPS or call her brother to come rescue her. Dane was a park ranger—he probably knew where she was.
It was pitch black out there. There was nothing like a bunch of scattered houses in a national park pretending to be a town when it came to the dark. They’d cut this road right out of the forest, and the pine trees rose high on either side. No streetlights. No stoplights. Just an overcast moon, her headlights, and a spooky forest. A forest that would swallow her alive if she stepped outside the car.
Lucifer complained. Again.
“Look, if you’d behaved, we wouldn’t be in this mess. I know you want to stay with me at Dane’s, but that isn’t possible.”
This Weakness For You (Entangled Select Otherworld) (Taming the Pack) Page 3
