“Because…we are…what we are.” There was no way he’d explain why these poachers were killing Lycans—not when she was so new to his world. Grisly organ harvesting wasn’t a first-date conversation topic.
“What are the odds that he’ll kill you?”
“Odds?” He was one of the strongest Lycans out there, and he was an excellent tracker. And he’d be surrounded by weaker Lycans more likely to panic.
“Yes,” she ground out. “What are the odds that this is the last time I’ll see you alive? We’re in a relationship.” She gestured between them. “Or…something. Anyway, usually when you see your significant other off on a trip, you’re not concerned they’re going to die at the hands of a serial killer. And saying good-bye sucks enough on its own, but it would really suck if you left while I was frustrated with you, and then I heard you were dead.” She inhaled a shaky breath. “Someone would tell me if you were dead, right? Even if I don’t belong in your group?”
He pulled her into his arms. It felt like an instinct—this need to comfort and build up strength in the relationship between them.
She wrapped her arms around his waist and pressed her head against his chest.
“I’m the only Lycan who’s caught a poacher before—that’s who they think this is, a killer who preys on Lycans. Though, really, it was Nessa…Vanessa and Dane who lured him out, but I killed him…and took most of the credit because I’m Alpha. It might be something else at Rainier, but I need to see that. I need to know what they’re up against. I need to hunt it and track it and know. Last time, we were always on their tails”—he snorted a half laugh—“literally when it came to the Lycan with them, but we were guessing and responding rather than attacking. I mean to be on the offensive this time. I need that.” He sighed and rubbed a hand down the back of her head, stroking her hair. “I’m struggling to stop thinking as a Lycan Alpha and think as a man, much less a mate. In a crisis, the line will be more…obvious.”
She pressed herself closer.
“I’m new to relationships,” he admitted. It was strange to think—this was his first real relationship at thirty-two.
“I thought you’d had previous mates.”
Well, this was going to come off strange for a non-Lycan. “I’m expected to procreate for the continuance of our kind, and I’ve been an Alpha since I was twenty. So I’ve had relationships, as far as staying in their favor for when they went into heat once a year.”
“That is the weirdest thing ever. So you’re like a sperm donor.”
“Yes, well, clearly that’s different in our culture. It’s a drive to build up the strength of the pack.”
“So, you’d have these women…”
“Alpha females.”
“These alpha females—in like a harem?”
“No. There was only one alpha female at a time, and I was monogamous—like a marriage.” Only significantly less emotional than a marriage. He and Christa had already shared more of their feelings with each other than he had with all of the alpha females he’d been with.
“Until you got sick of them and then they were out?”
“No, I never ended it—I’d never intended on ending it. They always did.”
Christa cleared her throat. “So, you have kids with other women?”
“No.” No one had dared question his fertility, but it was unusual to make it to thirty-two without any offspring. “Not a single one…and since I haven’t mated recreationally, I’m sure of that.”
“How many?” She tipped back her head to look in his eyes. “How many alpha females have there been?”
He liked how she always met his eyes when she was asking important questions. It was like she was challenging him to be honest with her.
“Three.”
He was using up valuable time with her. There were any number of things he should be doing, but since she’d mentioned being concerned about his welfare, everything was put on hold. This became valuable—the most valuable use of his time. The compulsion to plan to pack had gone and been replaced with this need to comfort and cultivate a relationship. It was a strange shift in his thinking—part instinct and the framework of their species and then part of his feelings for Christa. He wanted to be here even if it was logical for him to be preparing.
“Three isn’t so many.” She cleared her throat. “Was Vanessa one of them?”
“No. I’d considered asking her to be, but she met your brother around that time, so she’s never been anything to me other than part of my pack.”
“You’d planned on asking her because she’s so beautiful?”
“Nope, that didn’t factor in when I chose a mate for myself—it’s more ideal genetic predispositions. I’d picked her because she’s fast.”
“Like slutty? I did not need to know that!”
He laughed and wrapped his arms tighter around her. “No, she’s a fast runner. Ask your brother if he’s ever caught her. She’s faster than any other female I know, and most males.”
“Oh…that’s better. So, that’s what you like in women?”
“No, but when you don’t really have strong inclinations toward any certain woman, and the welfare of the pack is constantly on your mind, it seems logical to pick based on optimal genetics. Her allergies would be a big pain.”
“So, you don’t like high-maintenance females?”
“I don’t know…I actually might. I did like that she’s stubborn; I seem to find that attractive in women.”
“Well, that’s why you scent-matched to me then. I must be irresistible.”
“You are.” He brushed a kiss against her temple. If only they had more time, he’d show her how much. “I’ve had to keep my wolf side trapped in this house. I guess I’m much more intelligent when I’m down to instinct and a primal nature—I kept heading straight for you. I’ve memorized the outskirts of your brother’s property.”
“You have?”
“Yes. And I couldn’t even leave that first day at the hospital.” It was like he was on an incline and sliding toward Christa. He couldn’t stop himself. This was going to be a difficult separation, which was odd considering they met a week ago.
She dropped her voice to a whisper. “You’re really coming back, right?”
He dropped a kiss on her head. He didn’t want to stop touching her. Just holding her made him feel whole. “It’ll be okay, Christa. I’m faster and stronger, and the last time I went up against a poacher, he came off minus his throat.”
“Eww.”
It hit him then—and he was surprised it had taken him so long, but the hierarchy was more deeply ingrained in Alphas than the rest of the pack. “Will you be okay? Do you need me to stay? They’re not my pack—they used to be, but they’re not anymore. I can stay. Are you well enough to be alone?” What if something happened to her while he was gone? He wasn’t even sure if she’d be going back to her brother’s or staying in his place.
She wrinkled her nose. “It took you long enough to worry about me.”
He brushed a strand of hair off her face. “There is a hierarchy with Lycans—it’s built into our psyche and comes with our genetics—a pack mentality and a pack hierarchy. We think first of the welfare of the pack, second is our honor, third is the will of the Alpha, fourth is our mate, fifth is ourselves.”
“So I’m fourth.”
“We’re first.”
“You’re not following the hierarchy?”
“I am. The pack’s welfare includes the continuation of breeding pairs—which we are now, as long as I don’t screw up and your brother doesn’t kill me.”
The ghost of a smile drifted across her lips. It might be the first thing he’d said right since he’d stopped kissing her to answer the phone. He would need to invest a lot more effort into this than he had in his past females. He’d have to earn Christa’s loyalty and trust—something that came naturally with his previous Lycan mates.
“So keeping you happy is now my first priority—us, as a couple, is
the most important thing to me. That’s why I’m here with you now instead of packing. Also, technically, as I’m the Alpha I’d defer to the other Alpha in the pack for the third priority. The other Alpha is the female—you. Your will is my third priority. So, you’re first, third, and fourth.”
She laughed. “That is the most absurdly romantic thing anyone has ever said to me…especially since you just called us a breeding pair.” Sobering, she licked her lips, and her eyebrows drew together. “So, I’m automatically Alpha too? There isn’t a test or a vote or something?”
He was staring at the slick sheen on her lips with a stirring heat increasing his heart rate. If only he didn’t have to leave. “Yes. You’re alpha female for Glacier Peak.” When her teeth worried her lower lip, too, he devoted more attention to her question. “Why?”
There was a beat of silence as she met his gaze—something that didn’t cool his desire to press her against the wall and convince her she was his. Then she smiled again, but it seemed less natural, less certain. “It’s just I was voted least likely to be an Alpha in a werewolf colony in high school, but what did they know, huh?”
“I was voted teacher’s pet.”
This time her smile was real. “Really?”
“Hell no. My parents tried paying me twenty dollars a week to pretend I respected the authority of those older than me who weren’t Lycan. My attitude of deference died freshman year when I crossed six feet.”
“Did bribing you work?”
“Not even a little. They gave up and started fining me instead. When I graduated, I owed them enough that I had to buy my own car as a graduation gift. The entire state of Washington sighed in relief when I became Alpha and didn’t have to recognize any authority above my own.”
She raised her eyebrows. “Except mine now. Because I’m the other Alpha.”
His days of sliding things through and being beholden to no one were over, and it was tough to say how he felt about that, but the intelligence in her eyes said those days were history, as of now.
“Except yours. You’re top dog.”
“I’ve been telling Dane that for years.” She nodded toward the hall. “Let’s go to your room, and I’ll help you pack so you can save the day.”
He picked her up and carried her.
“I’m doing much better today,” she protested, though she did put her arms around his neck.
“I know. I just like carrying you.”
She sighed. “I should insist on being independent, but I like you carrying me, too.” She nestled against his bare chest, reminding him he’d left his shirt in her room. Her breath feathered out across his skin. A fresh surge of possessiveness went through him.
Mine.
“You could move into my room while I’m gone.” He’d love to come home to her scent on his sheets. And then he might take her to bed and keep her there for a week—and only some of that time would be spent catching up on all the sleep he’d miss while he was away from her.
“Or any of these rooms.”
“No. My room.”
She met his gaze, and there was enough heat there that he almost stumbled. “Why is your house so enormous? I thought maybe you had a size complex, but now I suspect it’s something else.”
He grinned. “Well, I’m a contractor—I own Hill’s Contracting, specializing in expensive vacation homes, so we’re used to building gigantic homes for people, and I guess I assumed I’d have a lot of offspring when I built this eight years ago. In the meantime, I just always host visiting Lycans here.”
She glanced around, and he could see she was counting doors. He was walking slowly—in no hurry to get to the last door on the hallway. Last night, he’d put her in the guest room as far from his as possible, and he was grateful that had failed rather spectacularly. Her eyes had gotten wider with her tally.
“They’re not all bedrooms,” he said.
“Well, that’s good, because I think this many kids would kill me.”
He stopped in the doorway to his room. “Would it?” He’d been reading up on MS, and the subject of having kids seemed a sketchy one for research, and besides, he’d been attempting to convince himself that Christa wasn’t his, so he’d kept skipping over the sections on pregnancy and childbirth.
He wasn’t sure what they’d do if she couldn’t have kids. You couldn’t exactly adopt Lycans. He wouldn’t ever hold it against her or let it change anything, but the pack might have something to say about it—and he still wouldn’t care, even if it meant leaving the pack.
Christa met his eyes and shook her head. “Well, ten or eleven—yes, maybe, but crap, I think that’d break most women.”
“One or two?”
She shrugged. “I always wanted three.”
He grinned. Three was good.
“My cycle is really irregular, though, so that might be a problem.”
“You’ll ovulate next week.”
“What?” She wriggled in his arms uncomfortably, but he kept her tight against him.
“You have a different scent when you’re approaching fertility. I can’t help knowing. Male Lycans know when their females are fertile.”
“Well, don’t tell me. I don’t want to know. And you’re not allowed to discuss it with other people, either. Ever.”
“I won’t have to if they’re male Lycans. Most females, too. They’ll just know,” he said as he set her on his bed…their bed. Theirs. It was strange to refer to something as “theirs” and not mean the pack’s.
She waved a hand around while shaking her head. “So…just pretend you don’t know.” A small shudder worked its way down her before she shook it off.
“Just pretend I don’t know,” he repeated. It had to be one of the more illogical things ever asked of him. This was what happened when you surrounded yourself with Lycan females—the motivations and priorities of human females were completely different.
“Yes.”
“Okay. I can do that.” If that made her happy, it was easy enough.
She nodded. “So, what are you going to ask my brother to do?”
“Be acting Alpha while I’m gone.”
“My brother can turn into a wolf?” she shouted, hitting both fists against the bed with her mouth dropped open. “No way! That’s so unfair!”
He still had her voice in his head as he stood in front of the pack waiting for Dane to arrive. Jordan had assured her that her brother wasn’t secretly a Lycan, but this would be a lot easier if he were. Asking a non-Lycan to look after a pack hadn’t been done that he knew of, but Dane was the most stubborn and aggravating man he’d ever met—they were so alike they’d despised each other at first.
There was no way Dane would take the news that his sister was Jordan’s mate well. And perhaps it was cowardly that he was hoping Dane would find out while he was gone…but some spars were resolved by one team not showing up, and Dane might be more amiable in the end if Jordan wasn’t around.
Or he was just a coward.
At the very least, he could expect another right hook from Dane—and he’d take it like a man—and then he’d go home to Christa for sympathy, something he’d never had with any of his previous alpha females. He’d never even lived in the same residence.
Christa. Leaving her had been nearly impossible.
This business in Rainier needed to resolve quickly. If it was longer than a couple weeks, he’d come home to be with Christa for a bit—hopefully, it wouldn’t kill anyone, but the hierarchy was on his side and influencing his thoughts. As he’d told Christa, the hierarchy dictated that she came first in so many ways, but he also suspected if he kept Christa happy, he wouldn’t care what place he was in. She suddenly seemed to be his whole world. It was no wonder scent-matched Lycans always seemed so devoted to each other.
Dane and Vanessa finally came in, carrying Nathanial, and he had to wait, semi-patiently, while everyone in the pack fussed over the new addition. The younger, single Lycans had left with Travis—the proximity to bigg
er cities was a draw. Plus, with a female Lycan’s cycles only rolling around once a year for three weeks, offspring weren’t as frequent as they would have liked. Their packs were already struggling to increase before the poachers started killing Lycans to harvest their organs. Now procreation was a serious priority.
And Dane and Vanessa were certainly taking that seriously, even when Vanessa wasn’t in heat. Though given the fact that he’d been interested in Christa even while asleep, maybe it was a scent-match thing.
Dane was showing everyone how strong his week-old’s biceps were. Hopefully, Dane still looked like he’d retained a bit of his sharp edge. And the Lycans would be more favorable to Jordan’s proposition if Dane came off as a reasonable man with a new baby—a family, an investment in the pack—but reasonable wasn’t always objective when it came to how he and Dane viewed things. If only he and Vanessa wouldn’t sit in the back and neck.
With a glance at the clock, Jordan cleared his throat. Immediately, everyone stilled and bowed their heads in deference.
“The Rainier pack believes they’ve had one of their members, Colby, killed by poachers, and they’ve asked me to come down and help with tracking. But with a threat so close to home, I can’t leave you without an Alpha to make sure patrols happen and the quieter members of the pack are checked on.”
Lycans exchanged looks. There were many willing and able to do patrols, but they were used to submissive behavior. They needed the will of an Alpha to submit to. Someone to lead them. Travis’s training with the police had made him ideal at taking the lead and making authoritative decisions. It’d practically been Jordan’s idea that they split off with Travis as the Alpha. Travis had been an Alpha, though—he didn’t need to step up for the role.
Dane was the only one in that same position left in the pack. As a park ranger, Dane had gone through the police academy, and he’d never been great with submission—which suddenly was a benefit—but this was still unorthodox. At least he’d been attending the meetings for over a year, and when it came down to it, the pack trusted him. Jordan trusted him.
“My intention is to leave the pack with an acting Alpha they can trust, or I won’t leave. If we can get a majority agreement, then I can go catch these poachers before more of our former pack members are dead and before they move on to the next closest pack—ours.”
This Weakness For You (Entangled Select Otherworld) (Taming the Pack) Page 8
