As my father so eloquently taught, “If you think the problem is out there, that very thought is the problem.”
As we eventually taught the people on each level of this major corporation, your boss, your division leader, your CEO, your board, your spouse, your children, your friends, your associates may all have problems as far as trust (or anything else) is concerned. But that does not mean that you are powerless! In fact, you probably have no idea how powerful you can be in changing the level of trust in any relationship if you know how to work “from the inside out.”
The key is in understanding and learning how to navigate in what I’ve come to call the “5 Waves of Trust.” This model derives from the “ripple effect” metaphor that graphically illustrates the interdependent nature of trust and how it flows from the inside out. It defines the five levels, or contexts, in which we establish trust. It also forms the structure for understanding and making trust actionable as we go through the next three sections of this book.
Although we will be discussing each wave in depth, I’d like to give you a quick overview of the 5 Waves now so that you will have the context to better understand each wave as you go along.
THE FIRST WAVE: SELF TRUST
The first wave, Self Trust, deals with the confidence we have in ourselves—in our ability to set and achieve goals, to keep commitments, to walk our talk—and also with our ability to inspire trust in others. The whole idea is to become, both to ourselves and to others, a person who is worthy of trust. The key principle underlying this wave is credibility, which comes from the Latin root credere, meaning “to believe.” In this first wave, we will explore the “4 Cores of Credibility,” where we will discuss ways to increase our credibility in order to firmly establish trust with ourselves and with others. The end result of high character and high competence is credibility, judgment, and influence.
THE SECOND WAVE: RELATIONSHIP TRUST
The second wave, Relationship Trust, is about how to establish and increase the “trust accounts” we have with others. The key principle underlying this wave is consistent behavior, and in this section, we will discuss 13 key behaviors common to high-trust leaders around the world. These behaviors are based on the principles that govern trust in relationships. They are practitioner-based and validated by research. Most exciting is the fact that these 13 behaviors can be learned and applied by any individual at any level within any organization, including the family. The net result is a significantly increased ability to generate trust with all involved in order to enhance relationships and achieve better results.
THE THIRD WAVE: ORGANIZATIONAL TRUST
The third wave, Organizational Trust, deals with how leaders can generate trust in all kinds of organizations, including businesses, not-for-profit organizations, government entities, educational institutions, and families, as well as in teams and other microunits within organizations. If you’ve ever worked with people you trusted—but in an organization you didn’t—or in a situation where the organization’s systems and structures promoted distrust, you will easily recognize the critical nature of the third wave. The key principle underlying this wave, alignment, helps leaders create structures, systems, and symbols of organizational trust that decrease or eliminate seven of the most insidious and costly organizational trust taxes, and create seven huge organizational trust dividends.
THE FOURTH WAVE: MARKET TRUST
The fourth wave, Market Trust, is the level at which almost everyone clearly understands the impact of trust. The underlying principle behind this wave is reputation. It’s about your company brand (as well as your personal brand), which reflects the trust customers, investors, and others in the marketplace have in you. Everyone knows that brands powerfully affect customer behavior and loyalty. When there is a high-trust brand, customers buy more, refer more, give the benefit of the doubt, and stay with you longer. This material will help you not only improve your own brand and reputation as an individual, it will also help you improve your organization’s brand and reputation in the marketplace.
THE FIFTH WAVE: SOCIETAL TRUST
The fifth wave, Societal Trust, is about creating value for others and for society at large. The principle underlying this wave is contribution. By contributing or “giving back,” we counteract the suspicion, cynicism, and low-trust inheritance taxes within our society. We also inspire others to create value and contribute, as well.
Depending on our roles and responsibilities, we may have more or less influence as we move out through each successive wave. However, we all have extraordinary influence on the first two waves, and this is where we need to begin. As we move through the book, it will become clear that even trust at the societal level (the fifth wave) can specifically be traced back to issues at the individual level (the first wave), and that individual trust issues actually become geometrically multiplied as we move outward through the waves. For example, trust issues at the individual level with certain Enron leaders initially rippled throughout their relationships and organization, and eventually into the marketplace and society at large. And the ripple effect was magnified the farther out it went, ultimately becoming one of the primary triggers that brought about significant reform (the Sarbanes-Oxley Act). This puts a premium on always starting at the first wave with ourselves.
Yesterday I was clever, so I wanted to change the world. Today I am wise, so I am changing myself.
—RUMI, 13TH CENTURY PERSIAN POET
The final section deals with Inspiring Trust. This includes learning how to extend “Smart Trust”—how to avoid gullibility (blind trust) on one hand and suspicion (distrust) on the other and how to find that “sweet spot” where extending trust creates big dividends for everyone. It also involves restoring trust and increasing your propensity to trust. While there is risk in trusting other people, there’s far greater risk in not trusting them. The ability to know when and how to extend Smart Trust will enable you to move the fulcrum over and create incredible leverage, so that you get things done with greater speed and lower cost. Perhaps even more importantly, it will inspire and release those to whom you extend trust.
RESTORING TRUST
Before we move into our discussion of the 5 Waves, I want to take a moment to reaffirm that it is possible not only to build trust, but also to restore it. Obviously, there are some circumstances in which trust has truly been damaged beyond repair or where others may not give us a chance to restore it. But I am convinced that for most of us, these circumstances are few, and that our ability to restore trust is much, much greater than we think.
The best time to plant a tree is twenty years ago. The second best time is today.
—CHINESE PROVERB
Consider the experience of “Tom,” who had been with a large real-estate development company for many years, ultimately becoming a partner in the firm. At one point, the real-estate market turned upside down and the company began to split apart. A lot of infighting ensued, and Tom left the company. A lawsuit was filed. A countersuit was filed. As a major partner, Tom had an economic interest in dozens of buildings. Incredibly, after several years, the discovery and due diligence of the litigation process were still going on.
Finally, Tom decided there must be a better way. He called “Chris,” the partner who was then in charge of the business, and said, “Let’s talk—just the two of us without our attorneys.” Tom and Chris had been partners for several years, but in the midst of everything that had been going on, the trust had fallen apart. However, Chris agreed to the meeting.
Tom went in with the intent to genuinely seek to understand Chris’ point of view. He listened. He verbally reflected back his understanding of what Chris was saying. Once Chris felt understood, he was willing to listen to Tom.
As they interacted, a measure of the trust these former business partners had once shared was quickly rekindled. Even though circumstances split them apart, they still felt the connection, and in that very meeting, they were able to agree on a handshake deal
to resolve the dispute.
Through a process of listening and restoring a portion of the trust that had once been there, these two leaders created a solution they could implement in thirty days, and they ended the rancor, the pain, the time drain, and the money drain that had been part of an ongoing legal battle for the past several years.
While corporate leadership still has a long way to go in restoring trust, the research makes one thing crystal clear: Americans expect CEOs to take the lead, make a meaningful commitment to trust-building, be accountable—and deliver on the promise of trust through corporate behavior.
—RICH JERNSTEDT, CEO OF GOLIN/HARRIS
For another example, consider the relationship between former U.S. presidents John Adams and Thomas Jefferson. These two men were “the voice” and “the pen,” respectively, of the Declaration of Independence, and labored tirelessly for America’s independence from Great Britain. Brought together as ambassadors in Paris between the American and French Revolutions—neither of them knowing what was in store for the United States or France, or for each other—they grew exceptionally close. Jefferson became like a father to Adams’ son, John Quincy, and was ardently admired by Adams’ wife, Abigail, who referred to him as “one of the choice ones of the earth.”
On returning to the United States, however, these two men espoused different political views, which put a strain on their friendship. In accordance with the law at the time, when Adams—a Federalist—was elected as second president of the United States, Jefferson—a Republican—became vice president by default, having received the second-greatest number of votes.
Adams expected the same kind of support and friendship from his vice president that Adams had shown George Washington when he served in that position. Instead, it seemed to Adams that Jefferson was disloyal, extremely partisan, and politically ambitious. By the end of Adams’ presidency, their relationship was filled with rancor and bitterness.
Years later, their mutual friend Dr. Benjamin Rush (who was also a signer of the Declaration of Independence) encouraged Adams to extend an “olive branch” to Jefferson. Adams did so, sending a “Happy New Year’s” note wishing Jefferson good health and happiness. Jefferson immediately responded, delighted at the prospect of a renewed friendship. He wrote: “A letter from you calls up recollections very dear to my mind. It carried me back to the times when, beset with difficulties and dangers, we were fellow laborers in the same cause, struggling for what is most valuable to man, his right of self-government.”
Adams wrote to their mutual friend Rush, declaring: “Your dream is out . . . you have wrought wonders! You have made peace between powers that never were at war.” Later, when Adams brought a letter to read from Thomas Jefferson at a family gathering, he was asked how he could be on such good terms with a man from whom he had suffered so much abuse. He replied:
I do not believe that Mr. Jefferson ever hated me. On the contrary, I believe he always liked me . . . . Then he wished to be President of the United States, and I stood in his way. So he did everything that he could to pull me down. But if I should quarrel with him for that, I might quarrel with every man I have had anything to do with in life. This is human nature . . . . I forgive all my enemies and hope they may find mercy in Heaven. Mr. Jefferson and I have grown old and retired from public life. So we are upon our ancient terms of goodwill.
Adams and Jefferson enjoyed a rich and satisfying friendship and correspondence for fourteen years before they both passed away, amazingly, on the same day: the Fourth of July, 1826, the fiftieth anniversary of the American Declaration of Independence. Among Adams’ most memorable words to Jefferson were these: “While I breathe, I shall be your friend.”
SEE/SPEAK/BEHAVE
The purpose of this book is to enable you to see, speak, and behave in ways that establish trust, and all three dimensions are vital.
Remember the story I shared in the previous chapter of the Montana fishing guide who gave me glasses to see the fish beneath the river’s surface? This book will give you a pair of “trust glasses” so that you’ll be able to see trust in an entirely different and exciting way—a way that will open your eyes to the possibilities and enable you to increase trust and the dividends of trust on every level.
It will also give you a language to speak about trust. Sometimes you know that you don’t trust someone or that someone doesn’t trust you, but you can’t explain why and don’t know how to improve the situation. This book will enable you to name the underlying issues involved, and it will give you the language to describe those issues and to talk about and resolve them.
Finally, this book will help you develop the behaviors that establish and grow trust—particularly, the 13 Behaviors of high-trust people and leaders worldwide. As you learn about these behaviors and recognize the impact when people practice them—and when they don’t—you will understand how you can behave in ways that quickly build enduring trust.
Much has been said about the importance of changing paradigms in changing behavior—in other words, changing the way you see will automatically change what you do and the results you get. And I agree that a new way of seeing, a paradigm shift, has an enormous impact on doing and on results.
However, from a pragmatic standpoint, I am equally convinced that speaking and behaving differently can also have an enormous impact on the way you see and the results you get. The very act of serving someone, for example, can quickly cause you to see that person differently—even to feel love and compassion which you have not felt before. I call this a behavior shift—a shift in which our behaviors ultimately bring about a shift in the way we see the world. I am also convinced of the power of a language shift. The way we talk about things can create a shift in how we see and how we behave, as well as in how others see us.
Clearly, these three dimensions are interdependent, and whenever you effect a change in one dimension, you effect a change in all three. For this reason, this book will focus on see, speak, and behave so that you will have not only the paradigms, but also the language and the behaviors needed to establish and grow trust.I
MAKING IT HAPPEN
With an understanding of the Speed of Trust, some of the issues around trust at every level, and how trust works, we’re now ready to move into the actionable steps that make establishing, restoring, and extending trust possible. As you go through the remaining sections in this book, keep in mind that whatever your role at work or at home, you are an influencer. You are a leader, even if only of yourself.
Over time, I have come to this simple definition of leadership: Leadership is getting results in a way that inspires trust. It’s maximizing both your current contribution and your ability to contribute in the future by establishing the trust that makes it possible.
The means are as important as the ends. How you go about achieving results is as important as the results themselves, because when you establish trust, you increase your ability to get results the next time. And there’s always a next time. To get things done in ways that destroy trust is not only shortsighted and counterproductive; it is ultimately unsustainable. As the courageous explorer Sir Ernest Shackleton put it: “Life to me is the greatest of all games. The danger lies in treating it as a trivial game, a game to be taken lightly, and a game in which the rules don’t matter much. The rules matter a great deal. The game has to be played fairly or it is no game at all. And even to win the game is not the chief end. The chief end is to win it honorably and splendidly.”
Trust is absolutely key to long-term success.
—JIM BURKE, FORMER CHAIRMAN AND CEO, JOHNSON & JOHNSON
I encourage you to engage fully in this material. Ask the hard questions. Take the jugular issues head-on. As I have focused on trust in my own life and with thousands of people and hundreds of organizations worldwide, I have become convinced that this approach is based on principles that are self-evident and universal and bring positive results. I have no hesitation in assuring you that as you apply these principle
s in your own life, you will see immediate benefits. You will build long-term capacity. You will build stronger, more sustainable relationships. You will get better outcomes. You will have more opportunities, more influence, and more fun. You will learn how to establish, grow, restore, and extend the one thing that dramatically impacts everything else in your life—trust.
* * *
I. To watch a short video on the topic of See/Speak/Behave, go to www.speedoftrust.com/book-promises.
THE FIRST WAVE—SELF TRUST
The Principle of Credibility
The 5 Waves of Trust model serves as a metaphor for how trust operates in our lives. It begins with each of us personally, continues into our relationships, expands into our organizations, extends into our marketplace relationships, and encompasses our global society at large. This reflects the strength of the “inside-out” approach: to build trust with others, we must first start with ourselves.
The First Wave—Self Trust—is where we learn the foundational principle that enables us to establish and sustain trust at all levels. That principle is credibility, or believability. This is where we ask ourselves, Am I credible? Am I believable? Am I someone people (including myself) can trust?
The good news is that we can increase our credibility, and we can increase it fast, particularly if we understand the four key elements, or four “cores,” that are fundamental. Two of these cores deal with character; two with competence. What gives trust its harder, more pragmatic edge is recognizing that competence is as vital to trust as character, and that both character and competence are within our ability to create or to change.
The SPEED of Trust: The One Thing that Changes Everything Page 7
