Again, keep in mind that strengthening the 4 Cores will keep you in the “sweet spot” on the bell curve, and that all of these behaviors work together to balance one another out.
As you work to Create Transparency, here are some tips to consider:
• At work and at home, periodically ask yourself, Am I withholding information that should be shared? If so, ask yourself why. Consider the tax you may be paying as a result. Think about the dividends you could be getting by being more transparent.
• If you’re in a position of leadership at work, rate the transparency of your organization with regard to your various stakeholders. Then consider each situation and ask yourself: If we were more transparent, what difference would it make? Look for ways to appropriately increase transparency—and trust dividends!
• If you share a financial stewardship with someone—for example, a spouse—consider how transparent you are in dealing with financial issues. Keep in mind that money matters are still listed by many as a primary cause of divorce. If you’re not transparent concerning your financial priorities, decisions, and spending, ask yourself why. Strengthening your 4 Cores will not only help you act and interact with your partner in more transparent ways, it will also increase your ability to work toward a unified approach.
SUMMARY: BEHAVIOR #3—CREATE TRANSPARENCY
Tell the truth in a way people can verify. Declare your intent. Get real and be genuine. Be open and authentic. Err on the side of disclosure. Be transparent about not being able to be transparent (e.g., when the law or ethics preclude it). Operate on the premise of “What you see is what you get.” Don’t have hidden agendas. Don’t hide information.
BEHAVIOR #4: RIGHT WRONGS
To know what is right and not to do it is the worst cowardice.
—CONFUCIUS
As we were growing up, my brothers and I loved sports and were extremely competitive. This enthusiasm has remained strong, and I’m sorry to say that at one game a few years ago, I got carried away and totally lost it with my teenage nephew, Kam.
It was the day of the big BYU–Utah basketball game—the biggest game in the state of Utah. This rivalry is legendary, and regardless of past wins and losses, the competition is always intense. Because my sister’s husband had gone to the University of Utah, he and Kam were big Utah fans. Kam had been told to cheer conservatively so as not to embarrass the extended family there, especially since all but Kam and his dad were cheering for BYU.
Kam contained his enthusiasm until, at a crucial point in the game, the referee made an extremely questionable call in Utah’s favor. Kam spontaneously jumped to his feet in celebration, waving his arms in the air. As he sat back down, I simply couldn’t contain myself. I grabbed my water bottle and dumped the water on his head! Kam’s grin turned to shock, then disappointment, then hurt. It was obvious that he couldn’t believe I would do that to him.
Instantly, I was ashamed and felt deep regret for my immature actions. I knew I had taken a big withdrawal from our relationship. I wanted to make up for it, so I did the only thing I could think of at the time. After apologizing profusely, I bought a soft drink and demanded that Kam throw it in my face! Kam was embarrassed and refused. He said he knew I just got carried away, and he forgave me. But I didn’t forgive myself.
Over the next two months, I called Kam almost every week. Every time I talked with him I’d say, “Hey, I just wanted you to know I’m really sorry about dumping that water on your head. Please forgive me!” When the next BYU–Utah game came around, I bought tickets for Kam and my sister. The game was at the “U” this time, and I forced myself to sit in the arena there without yelling at all. I bought Kam some Utah logo wear and all the junk food he could eat, and I repeated again, “Just wanted to mention once more, Kam, I’m so sorry for what I did.” The poor kid finally responded, “All right, already! I really forgive you! Let’s forget it!”
Interestingly, through all of this, my relationship with Kam actually became stronger. My repeated efforts to apologize and make restitution convinced him that I really did care deeply about him and about our relationship. As an added bonus, the experience helped me subdue my temper. Though I still get into the games and I care a lot that my team wins, I haven’t lost it since. And in an ironic and fun twist of fate, my son Britain now plays football for the University of Utah!
GOING THE EXTRA MILE
Behavior #4—Right Wrongs—is more than simply apologizing; it’s also making restitution. It’s making up and making whole. It’s taking action. It’s doing what you can to correct the mistake . . . and then a little more.
In business, Right Wrongs includes “service recoveries” or rectifying mistakes made with customers—hopefully so well that customers are not only satisfied, they are also given incentive to develop even greater loyalty to the company. The “little more” a company might add to encourage such loyalty could be a small thing, such as including a free product or gift certificate with a corrected order to apologize for the inconvenience. Or it could be a big thing, like JetBlue not charging customers any fees for missing their flight.
In a personal or family relationship recovery, that “little more” could be an extra-mile effort to express love, such as accompanying a sincere apology and restitution with a thoughtful gesture, such as flowers or breakfast in bed.
HUMILITY AND COURAGE—OR EGO AND PRIDE?
Right Wrongs is based on the principles of humility, integrity, and restitution. Its opposite is to deny or justify wrongs, to rationalize wrongful behavior, or to fail to admit mistakes until you’re forced to do so. It involves ego and pride. It’s being humbled by circumstance instead of by conscience.
The counterfeit of Right Wrongs is to cover up. It’s trying to hide a mistake, as opposed to repairing it. In the case of Right Wrongs, the counterfeit actually creates a double trust tax, one tax when you make the mistake, and another—usually a far greater tax—when you try to cover it up and get caught. The reality is that everybody makes mistakes. The issue isn’t whether you will make them, it’s what you will do about them. It’s whether you will choose the path of humility and courage or the path of ego and pride.
Consider some examples of those who have chosen the path of humility and courage. A few years ago, Canadian food giant Maple Leaf Foods was rocked by the revelation that listeria bacteria had been found in two of its sliced meat products from their Toronto meat plant, causing at least 20 people to die and hundreds of others to become sick. A tragedy of this magnitude could easily destroy all confidence and trust in a company. But as soon as the problem was discovered, CEO Michael McCain led the company in immediately taking total and complete responsibility for the problem and righting the wrong as far as possible. He filmed a personal television message, accepting culpability, apologizing, and expressing sympathy for the victims. He held a press conference, in which he said, “The buck stops right here . . . This week it’s our best efforts that failed—not the regulators, not the Canadian food system. I emphasize this is our accountability and it’s ours to fix, which we are taking on fully.” He stated that he was choosing to ignore advice from accountants and lawyers. His concern was not about money or legal liability; it was about “our being accountable for providing consumers with safe food.”
His words were quickly backed up by company behavior. Maple Leaf recalled the foods not only from the two contaminated product lines, but from all 191 product lines coming out of the plant, and they closed down the entire plant. They identified the source of the contamination, solved the problem, improved safety and performance throughout the system, and then reached out beyond the system to do all they could to help ensure food safety for all consumers—including significantly contributing to the national food safety system in Canada.
Later, McCain repeatedly deflected personal praise for his response to the situation, insisting that it was the whole “dedicated, principled team of leaders, all 23,000 of them” who “acted together through this.” He said,
“We would be thankful if we can fully recover our business and we’re optimistic we can earn that trust back from consumers, but these types of things rarely should be described in terms of success . . . because this is just an outright tragedy. I think all 23,000 people in our organization felt that way about it, but equally had a resolve to make a terrible wrong right in some meaningful way.”
Another powerful example of righting wrongs involved Oprah Winfrey and American writer James Frey. In the midst of the unprecedented popularity of The Oprah Winfrey show, Oprah helped put James Frey’s book, A Million Little Pieces, on the New York Times bestseller list by naming it as her book club selection. When accusations were raised that Frey had embellished incidents in the supposedly “nonfiction” book, Oprah initially defended Frey. However, when she discovered the truth, she brought him back on her show. She sincerely apologized to her viewers, and she publicly chastised Frey for betraying both his readers and her television audience. She said, “I feel duped. But more importantly, I feel that you betrayed millions of readers.” She also acknowledged that she made a mistake when she had called in to Larry King’s talk show and defended Frey. “I regret that phone call,” she said. “I made a mistake and I left the impression that the truth does not matter, and I am deeply sorry about that. That is not what I believe. To everyone who has challenged me on this issue of truth, you are absolutely right.” Oprah’s behavior affirmed people’s confidence in her integrity and her genuine concern for others, which has been the hallmark of her brand and reputation.
A political example from several years ago provides a particularly powerful illustration of how easy it is to fall into the trap of justifying creating a wrong in the first place, of the personal pain it can cause the wrongdoer as well as those who are wronged, and of the lengths to which someone who is serious about trying to right a wrong can go in an effort to make things right—both with others and with oneself.
In March of 2005, Doug Wead, a former special assistant to President George W. Bush, issued a letter of apology for writing a book containing material from discussions that had been tape-recorded without the president’s knowledge. Wead shared the contents of this letter in a television interview with Chris Matthews and also a letter to the editor in USA Today.
In this letter, Wead said that he had first begun taping Bush back in 1987 with Bush’s permission. Wead continued:
When our conversations began again in 1997, I first started taking notes. Many options were discussed and discarded in those conversations. Eventually, I was asked to carry a sensitive message to a reporter or even to a political opponent’s camp. The exact wording was critical and I felt inadequate to the task. And so, the following year, my secret tape-recording of George W. Bush began. At first, it was only to make sure I was doing the right thing, what he wanted. But it was prideful and arrogant of me to think my good intentions justified my actions. I taped a man without his permission and he happened to win the presidency. My decision to release a portion of the tapes has come at a terrible price for my family and has deeply hurt many others.
I was foolish and wrong to tape-record Mr. Bush without his permission. I was wrong to play any part of the tapes for my publisher, regardless of the circumstances. I was wrong to play any part of them for a journalist. I apologized to the president before the story appeared and again afterward. He has been typically patient, in spite of the personal hurt.
Today, the work of reparation has begun.
• My book promotion has been cancelled.
• Future royalties from the book have been assigned to charity.
• The hours of tapes, which prompted offers of millions of dollars, have been turned over to the president.
• The work of rebuilding relationships, with God, the president and friends, has begun.
If I could live my life over again, there are many things I would do differently. I cannot undo the hurt I have caused but I can, with God’s help, take the heat I deserve and move on.
The interesting thing about this situation is that it never really became a huge political issue—due, in good part, I believe, to the fact that the apology was made quickly, humbly, and sincerely, and was followed by behavior (including giving up royalties and possible gain from the tapes) that clearly confirmed his words.
Often the stories I hear about the power of righting wrongs in building trust do not come from the key players; they come from employees who have been asked about the trust in their organizations. In other words, the trust-inspiring behavior of the leaders in these organizations has become an organizational symbol. This is yet another example of the geometric growth that impacts the speed of trust: When you build trust with one, you build trust with many.
Now contrast the results of these positive experiences with those where people have chosen the other path of ego and pride. One striking example is the Watergate scandal of the early 1970s. When it was discovered that U.S. President Richard Nixon’s administration had been involved in illegal efforts to access confidential information, those involved—including the president—failed to take responsibility and apologize for their misdeeds; in fact, they tried to cover them up. As a result, trust was entirely destroyed, and, on threat of impeachment, Nixon was forced to resign.
Watergate wasn’t so much a burglary as it was the failure to recognize mistakes, to take responsibility for them, and to apologize accordingly.
—JON HUNTSMAN SR., FOUNDER, HUNTSMAN CHEMICAL
In a more recent example, pharma executive Martin Shkreli, who became known as “the most hated man in America,” gained a reputation for acquiring rights to generic drugs and then drastically raising the prices. After his company acquired Daraprim—a drug used to treat a rare infection in babies and AIDS patients—he raised the price by 5,000%.
Following massive public outcry, Shkreli was subpoenaed to appear before a U.S. House of Representatives Committee to answer questions regarding the price increase. During the hearing he was unapologetic, laughed as ethical concerns were shared, and refused to answer any questions apart from confirming his name. Throughout the time of his media attention and various trials, he showed no remorse for his actions.
In August of 2017, Shkreli was convicted on two counts of securities fraud and one count of conspiring to commit securities fraud. Seven months later, he was sentenced to seven years in prison and millions of dollars in fines. He was tearful as he gave his statement, “I wanted to grow my stature and my reputation. I am here because of my gross, stupid and negligent mistakes I made.” As the Federal Judge imposed the sentence, she remarked that he seemed “genuinely remorseful” at the time, but citing his “egregious multitude of lies,” said that he had “repeatedly minimized” his behavior throughout the entire process.
Obviously, Shkreli’s effort was too little, too late, and too halfhearted. Trust had already been lost. There was no way he could talk his way out of the problem he’d behaved himself into.
Notice how in each of the positive examples in this chapter, people have been quick to admit a mistake and make an effort to repair it. When wrongs happen, and you quickly acknowledge them and apologize, in most cases you’re able to move on. What damages credibility and trust the most is when, once something has gone wrong, people don’t acknowledge it or apologize. This causes small incidents to blow up into far bigger issues, and when people try to cover it up, it gets even worse. While apologizing later is clearly better than not apologizing at all, apologizing and rectifying mistakes immediately will do far more to build and restore trust.
THE BOTTOM LINE
Right Wrongs powerfully affects the bottom line. Despite the fact that most insurance companies will tell doctors to not apologize to patients when they make mistakes, there’s increasing evidence that shows that those who do apologize and are respectful and empathetic get sued less. People are more likely to sue when they’re mad. People stay mad when they’re owed an apology and don’t get one. Giving a heartfelt apology in many cases t
akes the sword out of people’s hands. As evidenced by the trust dividends Johnson & Johnson continues to receive 36 years after righting wrongs in the Tylenol scandal of 1982, “wrongs” can create geometrically significant moments of trust.
Even when you’re on the other end—when someone else has wronged you—there are important things you can do to help Right Wrongs and build trust. By being forgiving, for example, you enable others to more easily apologize and make restitution to you. And acknowledging your own mistakes gives freedom to others to do the same, which is extremely ennobling and enabling for a culture, both at work and at home.
TRUST TIPS
If your behavior is too far left on the bell curve—if you’re not going far enough in righting wrongs—you may want to work on honesty, humility, or courage (Integrity), or caring (Intent), or alignment between behavior and desired outcomes (Results). If you’re too far on the right—apologizing too profusely or apologizing repeatedly for the same mistakes—you may want to work more on congruence (Integrity), or motivation (Intent), or on the judgment that comes from strengthening and blending all 4 Cores.
As you work to increase your ability to Right Wrongs, here are a few ideas:
• The next time you make a mistake, pay attention to your response. Are you trying to ignore it, justify it, cover it up? Or are you quick to admit it and do what you can to make restitution? If you don’t now have the humility and courage it takes to quickly Right Wrongs, work on behaving yourself into the person you want to become.
• Give some thought to your past. Are there wrongs that haven’t been righted? Are there estranged relationships that are waiting to be made whole or become “beautifully resolved”? Even though making the attempt may seem insurmountably difficult, I can assure you that whatever acute pain you may feel as you attempt to right a past wrong is not nearly as hard to live with as the chronic pain of distrust. And the relief that comes when you truly make an effort to right past wrongs is immense.
The SPEED of Trust: The One Thing that Changes Everything Page 21
