A PROPENSITY TO TRUST
I have found that by trusting people until they prove themselves unworthy of that trust, a lot more happens.
—JIM BURKE, FORMER CHAIRMAN AND CEO, JOHNSON & JOHNSON
Have you ever been in a situation where someone believed in you and trusted you when no one else did? How did it make you feel? What kind of difference did it make in your life?
I was in a situation like that shortly after I graduated from college. I was hired to work for Trammell Crow Company—at the time, the nation’s largest real-estate developer and one of the original “100 Best Companies to Work For” in America. It was an unusual situation because typically a partner in a specific regional office would make the hire. However, in this case, I’d had a luncheon meeting with the managing partner of the company, and he had offered me a job as a leasing agent on the spot. He didn’t know which office I’d work in, but was confident there would be a good fit somewhere.
I accepted the offer, and then visited some regional offices to interview with the partners there. But in office after office, none of the partners seemed very interested in me. While I had done well in school and had had some excellent work experience, I’d indicated on my résumé that my intent was to work for a couple of years and then go get my MBA. But the position I’d been hired to fill was the same position being offered to MBA graduates from the top schools. And they were being placed on a three-to-five-year fast-track path toward partnership. No one wanted to invest in training me only to have me work for two years and then leave. In addition, I had written on my résumé that my career objective was to go into management consulting and leadership development, which didn’t impress these Trammell Crow partners, who were into real-estate development. So my résumé and career plans essentially created a huge disconnect with everyone. At the time, I was so naïve that I could barely see the problem, but I didn’t feel that I could be untruthful about my intentions and simply say what people wanted to hear.
So for six weeks, I was in limbo, just working out of the corporate office but really doing nothing. After I had met with a dozen or so different partners, it became apparent that no one wanted to hire me, and I’m sure the managing director was wondering why he had. I was getting very discouraged. In fact, my confidence was at an all-time low.
Then I met with a new partner—John Walsh—who seemed excited to take a chance on me. He said, “I like this man. I believe in him. I want him on my team.” He took me under his wing, and from the very first, he treated me exactly like he treated the MBAs and law school graduates he had also hired. I felt enormously grateful, motivated, and inspired. I did not want to let him down.
It was six months before I had any results. During that time, I often doubted myself. But John Walsh kept believing in me. Then, all of a sudden, things took off, and before my two years were up, I had become the top-producing leasing agent in the office and one of the top producers in the country.
John Walsh’s faith in me paid off—not only for him in terms of company profits, but also for me in the way in which it shaped my leadership and my life. When I think of this man today, it is with great love and gratitude. Aside from my father, John Walsh has been the single biggest influence in my professional life (and also a profound influence in my personal life) because he believed in me and took a chance on me when no one else did. His extension of trust brought out the best in me.
I bring you the gift of these four words: I believe in you.
—BLAISE PASCAL, FRENCH PHYSICIST AND MATHEMATICIAN
INSPIRING TRUST
Somewhere along the way, most of us have had some kind of similar experience where someone believed in us and made an enormous difference in our lives. What’s most exciting is the realization that we can do the same for others! We can believe in them. We can extend trust to them. We can help them rise to the challenge, discover their unseen potential, and make enormous contributions that benefit us all.
Just consider the difference made by people like Sam Walton, founder of Wal-Mart and Sam’s Club. Dean Sanders, onetime executive vice president of operations, said that after Sam would go out on store visits, he would get back and call Dean and say, “Give this boy a store to manage. He’s ready.” When Dean would express concern about a particular person’s level of experience, Sam would just say, “Give him one anyway. Let’s see how he does.”
Even an overdose of trust that, at times, involves the risk of being deceived or disappointed is wiser, in the long run, than taking for granted that most people are incompetent or insincere.
—WARREN BENNIS, AUTHOR OF ON BECOMING A LEADER
Consider the difference made by leaders of companies like Nordstrom, who trust their employees to use their good judgment, or Ritz-Carlton, where employees are financially authorized to resolve customer concerns, or BestBuy, where people can work wherever and whenever they like, as long as the job gets done.
Consider your own experience. How do you feel when someone tells you, “You can do this! You’re credible. You have the character and competence to succeed. I believe in you; I trust you.” Sometimes simply hearing those words creates all the inspiration needed for success.
Leaders who extend trust to us become our mentors, models, and heroes. We’re overwhelmed with gratitude when we think about them and about the difference they have made in our lives. Companies that choose to extend trust to their employees become great places to work.
Our approach is based on the major findings of 30 years of research—that trust between managers and employees is the primary defining characteristic of the very best workplaces.
—GREAT PLACE TO WORK INSTITUTE
This same kind of leadership inspires trust at home. Just consider the difference it makes in the lives of children when parents tell them, “I love you. I believe in you. I trust you,” and help them develop character and competence by giving them meaningful stewardships—jobs with trust—to carry out. When people at our leadership programs share their feelings about the person who has impacted them most in their lives, it is most often a parent (or sometimes a teacher, a coach, or a mentor at work) who believed in them when no one else did.
As I’ve said before, the first job of a leader—at work or at home—is to inspire trust. It’s to bring out the best in people by entrusting them with meaningful stewardships, and to create an environment in which high-trust interaction inspires creativity and possibility.
It is better to trust and sometimes be disappointed than to be forever mistrusting and be right occasionally.
—NEAL A. MAXWELL, EDUCATOR AND RELIGIOUS LEADER
MOST RESPOND WELL TO TRUST
Trust brings out the best in people and literally changes the dynamics of interaction. While it is true that a few abuse this trust, the vast, vast majority of people do not abuse it, but respond amazingly well to it. And when they do, they don’t need external supervision, control, or the “carrot and stick” approach to motivation. They are inspired. They run with the trust they were extended. They want to live up to it. They want to give back.
Again, as Émile Durkheim has said, “When mores [cultural values] are sufficient, laws are unnecessary. When mores are insufficient, laws are unenforceable.” I would amend that to say, “When trust is sufficient, laws are unnecessary. When trust is insufficient, laws are unenforceable.” As my father has said, “Compelling trust is the highest form of human motivation.”
No matter who we are, we have countless opportunities to extend and inspire trust in others. And in so doing, we make an amazing difference—not only in their individual lives, but also in the lives of all who are touched by what they do.
We also make a huge difference in our own lives. Trust is reciprocal—in other words, the more you trust others, the more you, yourself, are trusted in return. In the prework exercise where we give program participants picture cards of people they work with and ask them to sort them according to whether they trust them or not, we find that those who tend
to not trust others are typically not trusted themselves. In the words of Lao Tzu, “No trust given, no trust received.”
PROFOUND MOMENTS OF TRUST
The truth is that many meaningful events in business, history, literature, and life have hinged on profound moments of trust—on people who were willing to extend trust in amazing ways.
I think of a defining moment in the life of Alexander the Great, King of Macedon. King Darius III of Persia had offered 1,000 talents to anyone who would kill Alexander. Alexander had contracted pneumonia and was near death. The physicians were afraid to treat him because they thought he would not survive, and they were fearful that if he died they might be falsely accused of poisoning him and accepting Darius’s bribe. But Philip, a friend and physician who had attended to Alexander since childhood, was willing to treat Alexander because he had confidence both in his treatment medicine and also in Alexander’s friendship. As historian H. A. Guerber relates:
When the fever was at its worst, [Philip] said he hoped to save the king by means of a strong medicine which he was going to prepare.
Just after Philip went out to brew this potion, Alexander received a letter which warned him to beware of his physician, as the man had been bribed by the Persian king, Darius III, to poison him.
After reading the letter, Alexander slipped it under his pillow, and calmly waited for the return of his doctor. When Philip brought the cup containing the promised remedy, Alexander took it in one hand, and gave him the letter with the other. Then, while Philip was reading it, he drank every drop of the medicine.
When the physician saw the accusation, he turned deadly pale, and looked up at his master, who smilingly handed back the empty cup. Alexander’s great trust in his doctor was fully justified; for the medicine cured him, and he was soon able to go on . . . .
I think of the Catholic bishop in Victor Hugo’s epic Les Misérables, who not only forgave the thief Jean Valjean but affirmed his worth and extended trust to him, forever altering his life.
I think of the teacher Anne Sullivan, extending trust and confidence, with remarkable results, to a pupil who couldn’t see, hear, or speak—Helen Keller.
I think of the entrepreneur Pierre Omidyar, founding a company on the basic premise that most people are good and can be trusted.
I think of a coach believing in the potential of an athlete.
I think of a friend staying true to someone in a difficult hour.
I think of a young child trusting a parent.
I remember a father extending trust to a seven-year-old boy.
CHOOSING TO TRUST
Better trust all and be deceived, And weep that trust, and that deceiving, Than doubt one heart that, if believed Had blessed one’s life with true believing.
—FRANCES ANNE KEMBLE, BRITISH WRITER
We were born with a propensity to trust. As children, most of us were naïve, innocent, vulnerable, and gullible. Through life experience, many of us have become less trusting—sometimes with good reason.
But, whatever our situation, the reality is that we can choose to retain or restore our propensity to trust. The key is in our ability to forgive, and also in our ability to balance our propensity to trust with analysis, giving us the judgment to extend the Smart Trust that maximizes the dividends and minimizes the risk.
In my own life, I’ve been on both sides of the equation. I’ve been in situations where I was micromanaged, where trust was not extended. I know the powerful negative effect that had on my own feelings of engagement, commitment, excitement, and creativity, and on the release of my energy and talent. But I’ve also been in situations where trust was extended abundantly, and I know how that trust dramatically inspired and powerfully released the best inside me.
Occasionally I’ve been burned. I’ve trusted people who didn’t come through. But for the most part, I’ve seen the incredible results when people have come through. I’ve seen them rise up to meet the expectation. I’ve seen them energized, excited, and engaged. I’ve seen them willingly give their hearts and minds as well as their hands and backs in doing their work. I’ve seen them overcome differences, transcend difficulties, and accomplish great things—fast—because someone had the wisdom to extend trust.
It is . . . happier to be sometimes cheated than not to trust.
—SAMUEL SMILES, BRITISH AUTHOR AND BIOGRAPHER
There’s no getting around the fact that in today’s “flat,” global economy, trust is essential to prosperity. In our personal and family relationships, trust is essential to satisfaction and joy.
And the truth is that we can establish it. We can grow it. We can extend it. We can restore it. We can become personally and organizationally credible. We can behave in ways that inspire trust. We can increase speed and lower cost in every dimension of our lives.
So why would we not want to do it? Why would we not want to live and lead in ways that inspire trust?
Perhaps Albert Schweitzer said it best:
In everybody’s life, at some time, our inner fire goes out. It is then burst into flame by an encounter with another human being. We should all be thankful for those people who rekindle the inner spirit.
Extending trust to others rekindles the inner spirit—both theirs and ours. It touches and enlightens the innate propensity we all have to trust, and to be trusted. It brings happiness to relationships, results to work, and confidence to lives. Above all, it produces an extraordinary dividend in every dimension of our lives: the speed of trust.
AFTERWORD
The first edition of The Speed of Trust was published in 2006 with a very bold assertion, as the subtitle indicates, that it was “The One Thing That Changes Everything.” I was told by many—even some very close to me—that I couldn’t say that. It was too bold, too sweeping a statement to make. And yet, I knew it was true. I had both seen and experienced it personally, as well as professionally. Everything was impacted by trust. I was certain of it, so I said it.
As I think about how strongly I felt about it then, I think I actually underestimated it. Look at where we are today. Look at every industry, every positive innovative development in technology, business, communities, societies, and families. Success has been created as trust has been built. Conversely, success has become unsustainable—or even virtually unattainable—as trust has been lost. I invite you to examine your own life and consider how directly the ups and downs you experience, whether in business or at home, correlate with the ups and downs of the level of trust in your most important relationships.
Having worked with people and organizations worldwide for 30 years now, I am convinced that trust is even more timely, more relevant, and more vital today than it was when the book first came out. While there are myriad reasons for this, I offer 10 that, in one form or another, continue to rise to the top.
#1—We live in a world of declining trust.
By most measures, we live in an increasingly low-trust world. While trust does tend to ebb and flow in different industries, with different stakeholders, and in different societies, trust as a whole is increasingly under attack. As a result, we tend to become more cautious, more guarded, and more suspicious, perpetuating a vicious downward cycle of distrust and suspicion. And this creates even more distrust and suspicion, with everyone feeling justified in the process.
A low-trust world affects the way we see our problems and how we try to solve them. Perhaps even more impactful, it affects the way we see the people with whom we work and live. They sense the distrust and suspicion and respond in kind.
Distrust is contagious. Thankfully, trust is also contagious, and there are people, leaders, and organizations who understand this—people who are deliberately moving the needle on trust and inspiring others to do the same. This reality puts an even greater premium on building trust and generates a disproportionate advantage for leaders who know how to create it.
#2—Trust is the engine of the sharing economy.
The sharing economy is beginning to
complement—and in some cases replace—traditional forms of commerce and exchange, particularly through technology and digital trust. Industries that were once led primarily by specialists are being disrupted, overwhelmingly influenced, and often even driven by average, everyday people.
Consider ride-sharing; person-to-person home, vacation, and room sharing; social collective bargaining; peer-to-peer lending; crowd funding; open source technology; fashion; social media, and a whole host of other products and services made available in marketplaces that facilitate transactions between strangers, predicated on the assumption or creation of mutual trust. Technology creates a platform where relevance and quality are decided and moderated by a system of transparent ratings and reviews—from average, everyday people. No trust, no deal. Even with long-established, billion-dollar organizations, a new standard of accountability has been created where an individual with a smartphone can be front-and-center in the court of public opinion and can have greater actual power and influence than the highest court in the land. In this sharing economy, there is a natural and necessary convergence of doing the right thing and doing the economic thing. Doing right builds trust, and trust determines economic performance.
#3—The nature of work today demands increasing collaboration.
We operate today in an increasingly interdependent world, in what we might refer to as an age of collaboration. Technology, global supply chains, and the nature of learning and knowledge work allow individuals and organizations to work together in new and exciting ways. More and more, teams are being made up of people from different departments, buildings, and even countries. Because of this, nearly all teams today have some element of operating virtually; in fact, many are entirely virtual. Team members may work on the same project but never actually meet together face-to-face. The strategy is to leverage different perspectives, skill-sets, and other resources.
The SPEED of Trust: The One Thing that Changes Everything Page 39
