“More than,” he said dryly. “I just needed to remind myself what’s real.”
Zayshul frowned at him. “You’re not making much sense. Kusac and I need to talk to you, too. We found something you won’t believe on that file he’s been decoding.”
“I found out how my people ended up as a male-only society,” he said. “They tried to erase it from our racial memory, but there was enough still left for me to piece it together.”
“You did? Kusac’s found out something about a Queen who founded the Empire.”
“I know. Queen Kszafas. I have memories of her, too.”
“You have? That’s great!”
“No, it’s not. I wish I’d never known about it,” he said. “When I realize I was part of it, that I helped keep the females drugged and in harems . . .”
“Kezule, you weren’t responsible for the society in which you lived, remember that. You were only one person. How could you know what was going on?”
“I was given control over the Royal Hatchery on Shola, Zayshul! I was responsible for three of the Emperor’s daughters—one of them my own wife!”
“Did you drug them?” she demanded.
“No, there was a doctor to see to that,” he admitted.
“There you are. And what could you have done even if you had known?”
He sighed. “Nothing, I suppose, but when I think of you, or Mayza, living in those times . . .”
She leaned over to hold him close. “But we don’t,” she said quietly. “And you live here and now with us; forget the rest and remember only that.”
“I’m not sure I can,” he admitted, holding her close.
“You told me you had very little to do with any females in your time, either drones or your wife,” she said. “If that’s so then you have nothing to be ashamed of. What could you have done had you known? Reduced the females’ drugs? They were the Emperor’s daughters! You couldn’t touch them, unless you wanted to die!”
“True.” He let her go with a sigh. “Can you leave what you’re doing? I want to spend some time with the two of you.”
“Yes, of course. We could take Mayza up to the pool. She’s never been there yet, neither have you.”
“Then let’s do that,” he said, picking Mayza up again.
“We’d best tell Kusac and Shishu where we’re going,” she said as they left the data room.
That night, still feeling the need for reassurance from his family, Kezule had wanted M’kou to dine with them in their suite. When the meal was over, he asked Zayshul what she planned to do that evening.
“Go to the rec room,” she said. “It’s about time I socialized occasionally instead of working in the evenings. And you?”
“I’m going to go over the file that Kusac has been working on. He sent a transcript of what he has so far to my office. I’ll be back later tonight,” he added before leaving.
Returning to the lounge after putting Mayza to bed, she found M’kou still there.
“The nurse is here, ” said M’kou, getting up. “She put Shaidan to bed for you. I was about to leave but she asked me to tell you Shaidan wanted to talk to you before you go.”
Zayshul nodded. “Thank you. What are you doing this evening?”
“I’m actually off duty, so I plan to spend my time with Lazaik up in the pool,” he said with a slow grin.
“Enjoy yourselves then,” she said, waiting till he left before heading for Shaidan’s room.
By the glow of the night-light, she could see him sitting on his haunches in the center of his bed, tail flicking slowly but rhythmically beside him. He looked up as she came in.
“What’s the matter, Shaidan?” she asked, sitting down beside him. “Can’t you sleep?”
He leaned against her, wrapping his arms around her waist. “You were upset last night.”
Surprised, she hugged him back, pleased to see him show a spontaneous emotion. “No, I wasn’t,” she said. “I don’t know what gave you that idea.”
“I felt it, late last night. With my father. But you are happier now.”
Her blood ran cold, and automatically, she reached up to his neck to check if he wore his collar. It was there, the metal warm with his body heat.
“I think it’s your imagination, Shaidan,” she said quietly. “You’re wearing your collar, you can’t possibly be picking up anything.”
“I feel your mind sometimes, but only a little.”
“I’m sure you think you do,” she said, with a little laugh. “But you can’t possibly.”
He lifted his head to look up at her, amber eyes serious, ears tilted back slightly. “You don’t wear a collar. I can hear you best when we touch. Your mind talks like mine, but you don’t know it.”
Stunned by his words, she could only stare at him. “What?” she finally managed to ask.
“Your mind is like mine, you can mind-speak.”
“You’re saying I’m a telepath?” she asked weakly. “That’s impossible.”
“No. The General wears a psi damper now because of you and the other females.”
She unfastened his arms and sat back, studying his face carefully. “Shaidan, are you telling me the truth? Because it’s very wrong to lie, especially about something like this.” Even though she knew it was impossible for him to lie with the Directorate programming, she couldn’t believe he was telling the truth.
“Vassals are not permitted to lie,” the cub said.
It had to be true, then. “How do you know this?”
“I can tell when they touch me,” he said. “And I’ve heard their thoughts when I’ve had my collar off. None of you use it to speak to each other, though.”
“Have you told anyone else about this?”
He shook his head.
“Then keep it to yourself for now. If I asked you, could you write me a list of those who can mind-speak?”
“Yes.”
“Is it only us females? Can any of the males do it?”
He shook his head. “Only females. You use your minds differently, that’s why,” he said, sliding up the bed to where the covers were rumpled. He yawned, putting his hand up to try and hide it. “May I sleep now?”
“Yes, of course,” she said, getting up and helping him under the covers.
A thought struck her. “How can you hear your father’s mind when he’s not touching you?”
Shaidan curled up on his side, snuggling his face into the pillows. “He’s my father. We share our blood.”
A strange way to put it, she thought, stroking his head gently.
Blood relatives. The thought was there, in her mind, just as clear as if she had heard the words spoken.
“Did you say that?” she asked sharply.
Yes, came the sleepy answer. It is so much easier than talking.
She could feel herself mentally retreating from Shaidan as she said good night and left his room. Somewhere inside, she knew she was running round and round in circles, screaming in disbelief. What was she going to do? How could she find out if it was true? If? She laughed mockingly to herself. Shaidan had undisputably demonstrated to her that it was true! And for how long had Kezule known? She wished there was someone other than Shaidan she could talk to about this since she certainly couldn’t talk to his father. It was cruel enough that Kusac had lost his abilities without making it worse for him by telling him she might well be a telepath herself and could hear his son.
Trying to put her worries out of her mind, she checked with the nurse then headed up to the rec room.
In the corner of Shaidan’s room, a shadow darker than the rest coalesced into the shape of a black-robed male. He moved to the side of the bed and bent down to stroke the cub’s head.
“You did that well, little one,” said Vartra. “Now sleep.”
Rec room, that evening
He was aware of her as soon as she entered and looked up to see her coming toward him.
“Now there’s someone you don’t usually see here
,” said his Second quietly, leaning on the table.
“What?” Kusac could feel how nervous she was, and how determined not to let it show. He prayed that her scent wouldn’t start working on him in its usual fashion.
“The Doctor.”
“May I join you?” she asked, stopping at their table.
“Of course,” he said. “Jayza, would you get the Doctor a seat?”
“She can have mine,” said the youth, vacating his. “Can I fetch you a drink, Doctor?”
“Thank you,” she said, sitting down next to him. “Just an ale.”
“I don’t think I’ve seen you here before, Doctor,” said Banner.
“Please, call me Zayshul,” she said with a slight smile. “I’m usually busy in the labs in the evenings.”
“Then you’re definitely due some leisure time.”
She looked around nervously. “What do you do in here?”
“Mostly talk,” he said, realizing with relief that though very aware of her scent, it was still doing nothing more to him than make him feel relaxed in her presence, as it had earlier in the day. “With us all working in different areas now, we even have something to talk about.”
Banner laughed. “It isn’t that bad, Kusac. There are games we can play, too, Zayshul,” he said. “Card games, or matching the marks on tiles, or strategy games with counters.”
“Sounds quite interesting,” she said.
“I’ll challenge you to a game of squares later, if you like,” he said quickly, aware that Banner was about to offer.
“I’d like that,” she said as Jayza returned with her drink. Behind him stood two of the civilian females, obviously waiting for him.
“Captain, do you mind if I . . .”
He gestured with his hand. “Go. Have fun,” he said with a slight smile.
“You know,” said Banner thoughtfully, watching the set of Jayza’s tail and ears as he went off to another table with them, “I think that he’ll win their bet.”
Zayshul choked on her drink and even he had to grin as he automatically began to thump her back.
“Enough!” she coughed, turning aside from his hand. “You know about that?”
“Of course,” said Banner, picking up his glass. “It’s quite a natural thing to do. We would. In fact, I’ve taken a wager myself with Lorish. Though I’m a bit unsure as to what I was betting or what the payout for the winners is.”
“Mess privileges, Ghidd’ah said. But they’re also using the fictional credits we hope to have when we do introduce a monetary system,” she replied, taking a more cautious sip of her drink.
“You need to have money and goods to sell before you can do that,” he said. “You’re some way off from that, I’m afraid.”
“I know. Don’t you mind about him going off with our females?” she asked Banner. “You don’t think it . . . betrays your own kind?”
Banner glanced briefly at him before answering her. “Why would you think that? The Captain and I discussed it and decided it was up to each individual to decide for himself.”
“No reason,” she said, flustered.
Khadui and Dzaou took that moment to arrive, pulling empty chairs up to the table and joining them.
“Doctor,” said Khadui with a polite nod to her as he put his glass down on the table.
Dzaou was busy taking a drink from his glass as he sat down. He’d hardly taken it from his mouth when Ghidd’ah approached him, tapping him on the arm.
Startled, he looked up at her.
“Captain,” she said, “you don’t mind if we borrow Brother Dzaou, do you? We need him to settle an argument for us.”
“Be our guest,” he said.
Ghidd’ah wrapped her hand round Dzaou’s arm and gently urged him out of his seat as she began to regale him with some details of the argument, which centered round Sholan tails.
Puzzled, he glanced at Banner, who shrugged.
“Tails?” said Khadui, shaking his head as he watched Dzaou dragged off to a table where three other females, including Shezhul, one of Kezule’s daughters, sat. “I can’t think of a more boring topic.”
“I wouldn’t say that,” murmured Banner. “I’d say the running on those bets just increased.”
“Dzaou?” he said incredulously. “You think they’re making up to Dzaou?”
“He’s not exactly known for his subtlety, is he?” said Banner. “One could almost think his emotional behavior betrayed a passionate nature, if one didn’t know him.”
Khadui grunted, but then grinned. “Ah, now wouldn’t that be a turn up for the books! I just hope they don’t come after me, that’s all. I have no interest in these females—no offense, Doctor,” he added hastily.
“None taken,” said Zayshul, obviously enjoying the banter. “What about you, Lieutenant? Have you been approached yet?”
Banner gave a slow smile. “I prefer to make my own choices,” he said. “As I’m sure the Captain would.”
He smiled neutrally, continuing to watch Dzaou. “He sat down with them,” he said. “I am surprised.”
“It’s amazing what a little flattering female company can achieve, Kusac,” said Zayshul.
Catching her reference, he glanced at her, keeping his ears from folding back in embarrassment with an effort. “Doubtless,” he said, “but not even that will cut through his xenophobia.”
She leaned toward him. “Tell me, what caused Dzaou’s hatred of any but his own kind?”
“He was held prisoner by another species many years ago,” he replied.
“Males or females?”
“Males.”
“Ah,” she said, sitting back. “Then you’re wrong. It can still work. Every male likes his ego massaged, and we females, no matter our species, have ways of doing it that are difficult to deny. We can be very persuasive.”
Banner laughed aloud at this and raised his glass to her. “Doctor Zayshul, all I can say is I am glad you’re not after me! May Vartra have mercy on Dzaou! He’s in for a rough time!”
“It’s a compliment,” he said in a low voice to her as, unsure, she glanced at him.
As the evening wore on, Dzaou, surprisingly, remained with Ghidd’ah and the others.
He waited for a moment when Banner had gone to chat briefly with Lorish, and Khadui had gone to the bar to fetch more drinks.
“Shaidan had his hair braided today,” he said.
Zayshul looked at him. “I know, I saw it tonight when I put him to bed. I thought it looked very nice. Shishu was working with the children today, she did it. Do you have a problem with it? If I remember, one of your people on the Kz’adul had hair that was braided.”
“No, I rather liked it too,” he said. “T’Chebbi. It was T’Chebbi, she braids her hair.”
“Ah, is it a female thing?”
“No. Some of us wear it braided,” he said. “I just never have.”
“You should, with your long hair,” she said with a slight smile. “You and your son are so alike.”
Surprised, he sat there for a moment then picked up his glass. “How did Shishu know how to braid? It isn’t as if you have hair yourselves.”
“Of course, you don’t know her, do you? She’s one of Kezule’s young females, from the Royal Court,” she said. “They often wear elaborately braided headdresses made from exotic fabrics.”
“Did you mix much in the Court?”
“Only immediately after my marriage,” she said, looking down at her hands. “The Empress took a liking to me.” She looked up, another slight smile on her lips. “Like Kezule, I liked the person, but not the Court.”
“Was that why Kezule left?” he asked, putting his now empty glass back down.
“That and the fact he didn’t appreciate them harvesting him to create one hundred children.”
He raised an eye ridge. “I knew all the military personnel were his offspring, but I didn’t realize there were so many.”
“Most of them he left on our home world to act as
the Emperor’s bodyguard.”
“Then he really did leave because he didn’t want to attract another uprising?”
“How did you know that?” she asked as Banner rejoined them.
“Know what?” asked his Second, easing into his seat.
“Why Kezule left K’oish’ik,” he said. “Your Ambassador asked our government to keep an eye out for the N’zishok and tell them if we saw it. Seems the Emperor wants Kezule back and disagrees he’d be a focus for dissidents.”
“And your government agreed to this?” she asked, the shock obvious in her voice.
“They had no reason to refuse,” he said. “I was asked to find out why he really left. Had we decided it was better to not inform your Emperor, then we wouldn’t. As it was, when I returned to Haven, I had nothing to report about Kezule’s reasons for leaving.” He looked at Banner.
“My report said you’d returned here at Kezule’s request to retrieve a final cub after you’d trained his people,” said Banner. “I had no more information than that to give. Only Kusac had the coordinates for the rendezvous.”
“No one will be looking for us,” he said. “They’re preparing for war with the M’zullians.”
“Which is another reason we need to get back on schedule,” said Banner. “Pleasant as it is here.”
“Kezule will keep his word,” she said slightly stiffly. “Once he’s given it, and he has.”
As Khadui returned with the tray of drinks and began putting them on the table, he hand-signaled Banner to change the conversation to something neutral.
“How’s the decoding going, Kusac?” Banner asked casually, thanking Khadui with a nod as he picked up his fresh glass.
“It’s a text, a story about a Queen who, as far as I can tell, is responsible for the Valtegan Empire.”
“Queen Kszafas,” said Zayshul.
“A Queen?” said Khadui, resuming his seat. “I thought theirs was an all male culture.”
“Not always,” said Zayshul. “I’m sure your Captain told you the General wishes to return our people to being one integrated species, with no castes.”
Khadui nodded. “I expect he did. I just follow orders, Doctor,” he said with an openmouthed grin. “I don’t bother with the whys of them. Will this text end up in the data banks for us to read like the other ones?”
Between Darkness and Light Page 41
