“Because it’s not necessary and you know it. D/s is about more than sex. So is BDSM, for that matter.”
“Yes, but if sex were a drawback, it’s not a bad one. Stop being so hard on yourself. She consented.”
“I don’t want to mislead her.”
“How will you mislead her, Jude, when she’s only doing this to have information added to the system so she can find a husband? That doesn’t match up with your criteria. Besides, it was spelled out in the contract. Unless you’re suddenly changing your stance on marriage.”
“No.”
“I didn’t think so. You’ve disqualified yourself as an eligible partner for her. Just remind her that you don’t intend to marry again and calm down.”
“She shouldn’t have known I was married once.” He pursed his lips. “You know how fine the line is for submissives during this stage. I don’t want her to confuse the overwhelming emotions associated with D/s with love.”
“So tell her that—explicitly.”
He scowled. He shouldn’t have to. It shouldn’t be such a damn effort to exercise the little bit of control needed to teach a novice a thing or two about the lifestyle.
Jude sighed. “She’s absolutely submissive. It’s rare to find someone so polarized.”
Ezra shrugged. “Maybe not so polarized. She manages a classroom. That takes some governance.”
He thought about how pleasant their meals had been and how she made his bed each day. “She does a hell of a lot more around here than Tiffany ever did.”
“Well, I’m not surprised, but remember it’s only day two. Check back in on that around day twenty. Fuck, there was a time Lea used to color-coordinate my socks. Those days are long gone.”
Jude chuckled. “Thus the need for a second wife?”
His friend smiled, but his frustration was easily read. “None of the new applications are a match for us.”
“She’ll show up eventually.” Jude truly hoped that was the truth.
“I wish there were a way for us to find her, let her know we’re waiting.”
They could wait a lifetime, which didn’t need mentioning. “You know we can’t openly promote. The glitch with Collette finding us on the web was one thing. It would be a nightmare for word to spread. We don’t need all those Grey wannabes knocking on our doors with floggers holstered at their hip and greedy little suppressed egos begging to bully someone.”
“The impostors out there are scary. The moment I hear anyone asking for a BDSM relationship I turn in the opposite direction. They’ll never understand that BDSM is something one does. It’s not the definitive qualification of a relationship. It seems D/s is as confused as ever since erotic romance took off.”
“People are on sensory overload, their suppressed fantasies saturated with hints of kink they don’t understand. You can’t fault them for being unclear, Ezra. We were once ignorant too.”
“True. I’m just being bitter. It’s hard enough to find one soul mate. Finding two is near impossible.”
“You can’t rush it. She could be accidentally opening her first bodice ripper as we speak and wondering where that tingle in her pussy’s coming from. Every thirty seconds another pervert’s born.”
Ezra rolled his eyes. “Shut up.”
Jude chuckled, some of his stress evaporating. “I want Lea to come on to Collette to see how she reacts. I want it to be when they’re alone, but we’re in the house.”
“When? She’s still in trouble from last night. I don’t want to reward her bad behavior with a treat like that.”
Jude grinned, reminded again of how the women gossiped. “I assume she confessed sometime after everyone left.”
“That’s probably what she wanted, but Jasmine broke. Once she told Malik, we noticed something shift and the rest came clean. I imagine they’re all standing around contemplating their poor choice right now.”
He chuckled. “Lea loves a good spanking.”
“Not the sort she got last night. She’s very sorry, by the way.”
“She’s forgiven. Please let her know.” He shifted. “How would next week work?”
“That should be fine. She’ll try for a bargain, though. You promised her a favor.”
He rolled his eyes. Collette’s opinion on the fact shouldn’t matter, but for some reason he hesitated. “I’m rethinking my promise to her.”
Ezra’s grin was smug. “I knew you’d take it back. You’re not the man you used to be, Jude.”
“Apparently.”
Ezra stood. “What are your next plans?”
“I want to show her the difference between BDSM and abuse.”
“Good place to start.” Ezra nodded. “I have to get going. Lea’s waiting for me.”
“Make sure you deliver my forgiveness.”
“I will. As well as your wish to repay her favor with a counteroffer. Good luck with your protégé.”
Jude sat for several minutes debating what would happen tomorrow and how he would begin their lesson. There seemed to be a universal misconception that BDSM equaled fanatical kink, or worse, violence, and he wanted to expel any such assumptions.
Though he was a master Dom, he was not the type to hold a magnifying glass over an ant simply to watch it suffer, as he possessed very few sadistic tendencies. The idea of such cruelty on a defenseless creature actually left him with profuse guilt, beyond what a typical person might experience. But this also didn’t characterize him as soft.
He prided himself on being a gentle but stern dominant male. His pleasure stemmed from the mindfuck involved in the D/s exchange, that beautiful struggle a sub faced when trying to surrender her ego in a display of absolute control as well as the challenge it put on the dominant figure to do his or her best while placing the submissive’s emotional needs at the top of all priorities.
Yes, he loved watching such a battle, because when done correctly with proper understanding and intense chemistry, there came a glorious moment when the struggle was handed over and the submissive entrusted the Dom with all the worry—a liberating and heady transaction. There was nothing equal to that honor in his book, and it was the driving force behind every sexual encounter he sought. Yet with Collette, it was different, as their encounters were mere puppetry.
It had been a long while since Jude had settled into the role of household Dom. The natural evolutions returned to him without a hitch. He recognized the moment today when his voice lowered and his expression changed, shifting the energy of the room and drawing his sub into her role as he let go of the gentle companion he’d been while conversing with her. And transformed into Sir.
It wasn’t always easy, navigating which side of the coin he wanted to show. While he got a rise when she addressed him as Sir, there was something potent about hearing her whisper Jude. He should push her to use Sir more often, as Jude was strictly reserved for personal relationships and this was business. But strangely, when she called him by name it had the effect of giving him an honored title, the simplicity somehow swapping significance with the formal.
His body swelled, his presence becoming greater as he accepted the role of dominant, a metamorphosis he’d only ever experienced when deep in a BDSM scene demonstrating a technique for others. But even then he recognized that the thrill had come from so many depending on his instruction.
How had she managed to take him on that Jekyll-to-Hyde ride with only the use of his name? Could her faith in his wisdom be that profound? It seemed too soon, regardless of how it flattered him.
The ease with which they flipped that switch—a switch that generally took months for couples to find—added to his restlessness. Though it benefited him that things were progressing quickly, it gave him pause. This rapid evolution was not entirely from his command. She had great command of herself, greater than he’d anticipated. Instinctively, he wanted to pick a fight to br
eak the pull of chemistry arcing between them, but that was beneath him and would only derail their advancement.
The danger of such fluid connectivity was that it opened Pandora’s box. When a sub held on to her personality yet evoked the obedient will to please so seamlessly, it removed the need for bondage and took things to a completely psychological level. And psychology had always been his greatest temptation. The mind was indeed the most exciting place to play.
When the balance took shape, an equality developed, like two proportionately powerful magnets facing off, sliding against each other’s will without a single touch, filling voids that otherwise appeared to be only empty space, but the strength of push and pull was overwhelming for those involved. The power exchange was purely mental and eventually one would bend to the other’s will, not because he was stronger or bigger, but because it was right and surrendering to the natural current would free them both of the struggle.
As he glanced down at his pants, his body told him how much this chemistry was going to cost him. He’d just had her and was already contemplating taking the stairs to her room and waking her with his cock buried deep inside her. Primal need rode him hard as he battled with the lure to claim her and exercise his temporary entitlement.
Would she soften under his rightful—though temporary—authority, or would he see an internal scrimmage as she battled with her will to submit? Something told him she’d surprise him and he’d see a little of both, but the end result would be enchanting, planting them both in ecstasy.
“Shit.” Rejecting that temptation, he put the files Ezra had delivered away for safekeeping and decided to hit the gym a bit earlier than usual. He needed the extra time to burn off some steam.
***
Collette lowered herself to the floor, the tops of her feet pressing firmly into the carpet as her bottom rested on her heels and her hands settled on her parted knees. Jude examined her posture, seeing plenty of aspects he could correct, but not finding this the time to do so. There was a delicate dependence between them, one he intended to cherish and handle with care.
She had primped and prepared herself every day since arriving at Fernweh, and that deserved his acknowledgment. Being that this was her first experience with D/s and he was coming to care for her as an understudy, he wanted to set the bar high for those who followed. Collette, based on what she’d already displayed, deserved a caring Dom, someone who would not take her for granted or overlook her careful efforts.
“What a beautiful display you present me.” Just one compliment and her shoulders lifted closer to where they should be. “I love seeing you open to me, breasts high, knees spread.” Her waist tucked in and her chest lifted. His approach worked and he was glad he’d expressed an important part of presenting without the need to critique her early attempt. “You honor me, peach.”
She smiled and slowly lowered her face, as though attempting to hide the effect of his praise. It boded well for all that his words affected her. Verbal responsiveness was a valuable thing.
His finger tipped up her chin. “Don’t feel the need to hide your smile, Collette. I’ve paid you a compliment. The smile tells me you received it as intended. I say these things because I want you to feel as beautiful as you are and I want you to have the self-respect and grace to take my compliments at face value.”
“Thank you, Sir.”
“You’re welcome. Today we’re going to discuss abuse.”
Her expression fell.
“Have no fear, peach. I never have inflicted, nor would I ever inflict, abuse on another living creature.”
Her breasts shifted as she breathed out a shaky breath.
“First, we’ll discuss humiliation. One of your hard limits is that I may not place my hands around your throat during intimacy or outside it. I’m glad for this, as I’m not into breath play. If ever you’re in a situation where a hard limit is violated, I want you to get out as fast as you can and call for help. That is abuse.”
“Yes, Sir.”
“I understand that some get a thrill from spanking and slapping. I love to see my palm print on a soft ass. However, my likes and dislikes come second to your needs and peeves. In your paperwork, you regarded any strike across the face as . . .”
“To me it’s abuse, but I know to others it’s a soft limit and sometimes craved.”
“You’re doing very well with the terminology, peach, and you’re correct. However, as your Dom, I’m only concerned with your limits. We can have our own preferences and still respect the vast differences of others. BDSM requires an open mind if anything. Tell me, if a lover were to slap you in the face, but every other touch of his body was appropriate by your standards, what would you feel?”
She noticeably swallowed. “Upset. Probably humiliated.”
He nodded. “Another limit of yours. I take it as my absolute responsibility to protect a sub. She honors me with her trust and submission, and I will never flaunt my authority in ways that demean or humiliate her. While these are fetishes for some, they’re debasement to me.”
He paused from pacing as he became aware of his past mistakes. “Collette . . .”
Her gaze lifted to his. “Yes, Sir?”
“The night we arrived and Lea found you in bed . . .” His carelessness, in hindsight, was a lot to swallow. “Were you humiliated? Be honest with me, please.”
She frowned. “I . . . I don’t know if I’d qualify it as the same humiliation I’d feel if a lover slapped me in the face. I was upset, but . . . I haven’t really dwelled on that night.”
Her honesty fascinated him. He found it difficult to question her sincerity. Softly, he asked, “Have you felt humiliated since then?”
She sighed. “Maybe the definitions are the same, but if anything, I’ve been embarrassed at times, having my limits pushed farther than they’ve ever been, but that isn’t always a bad thing. In my opinion, humiliation hurts and sometimes scars. It lingers. Embarrassment can be as simple as the anxious energy I feel when I walk into a room full of strangers.”
“Are you saying you qualify one as natural and the other as intentional?” Her interpretation of the different definition was what mattered, not what the dictionary said.
“Yes, I believe that’s what I’m trying to say.”
His mouth curved as he savored their honest exchange. It showed courage on her part and a bone-deep tendency to be honest with him—something he respected very much. And a true measure of how much she’d grown in a short time.
He ran a gentle hand over her jaw, cupping her face lightly. Softly, he whispered, “You are beautiful, Collette. A strong yet delicate creature deserving of care and affection. Never settle for less. Do you understand?”
“Yes, Sir.”
“I apologize for overstepping before. It was an oversight I now recognize, and I’ll do my best not to repeat such carelessness. I had only wanted to make a point. It was never my intention to humiliate you.”
Her eyes, when they found his, held a strange expression. It was as though his accountability and honest apology surprised her. But why? He was as human as she, and no one in this game called life was infallible.
Disliking the vulnerable sense she evoked in him, he cleared his throat and blanked his expression. “Shoulders up.”
She quickly broke eye contact and corrected her positioning.
“Good girl.” He paced away in order to collect himself.
Once his composure slid back into place he continued. “Now, I want you to think about the role you desire. There are various degrees of D/s relationships, and the labels usually put things into perspective. I’m happy to explain any of the dynamics you don’t understand as well as offer you literature on the subject if you’d like to read into the meanings.”
“Perhaps just an overview, Sir?”
“I agree. There are many labels: Owner/slave, Master/pet, puppy
, kitten, Daddy/baby, and so on. It is important to know how you see yourself in a future relationship so you aren’t placed in an unsuitable situation. While I prefer my sub to manage the household, as it actually provides her with an outlet for her own autonomy, I do not desire a slave. However, if you desire that role, I’ll accommodate you for the length of your training. Do you have any questions so far?”
“I’m not really sure of the difference implied.”
That was fair. She was very new to such terms. “I suppose the best way to explain the difference is to base each title on the desired level of authority and subservience—humiliation also comes into play depending on each individual’s likes and dislikes. Some, but not all, prefer to feel dehumanized. It’s a freeing quality only their owner can deliver.”
He studied her as she processed his words. Although they were not completely familiar at this stage, her personality so far gave the impression she enjoyed her independence too much to venture into an Owner/slave relationship. Perhaps part of him was hoping she wouldn’t, as he enjoyed the many facets and sparks her character brought to the table. It would be a pity to see that fire in her eyes dulled.
“Share your thoughts, peach.”
A breathy chuckle passed her lips. “They’re moving a little too fast for me at the moment. You say slave and nothing pleasant comes to mind. Perhaps I’ve had too many history classes.”
He grinned. “And pet?”
Her nose crinkled. “No offense, but I wouldn’t want to be looked upon as an animal beneath her partner.”
“Some pets are cherished by their owners, as they should be.”
She laughed again. “I feel like Goldilocks.”
His grin stretched as he chuckled at her analogy. “And I intend to find a fit for you that’s just right. Do you feel comfortable with the term Daddy?”
“No.” Her answer was quick.
“You’re certain?”
“I have a father. Sometimes I feel as though I have two, the one who raised me and the one who murdered my mother. I don’t need another one to confuse my terminology more than it already is.”
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