"Neither, I'm merely well aware that many women would be of such a mind to find themselves in your circumstance. As well as men, for that matter. Wickham would certainly use such a situation to his every advantage…"
At the mention of Wickham, Elizabeth looked up sharply. Darcy saw the recognition in her eyes. If possible, his world stopped. Given the state of his thoughts, only one conclusion was found. Elizabeth was working with Wickham just as Mrs. Younge had at Ramsgate only, this time, Darcy was the prize. Every hope that Darcy had for happiness faded in that moment.
"No…no, you cannot be acquainted with that scoundrel? It is impossible! That I could be so completely deceived again by a woman with no morals."
Elizabeth's gasp made him stop speaking. Even as Darcy's face paled at the thought of such deception, Elizabeth's own face became red with anger.
"So, this is what you think of me! Thank you for explaining so fully. To think that I held you in such high regard while you believed me capable of such deceit."
"Do you deny it then? Do you deny that you are familiar with the name Wickham?" Darcy demanded.
"I do not deny that I know of Wickham; however, it was…" Elizabeth attempted but her reply was cut short by Darcy's outrage.
"I am a fool! My aunt had the right of it all along." Darcy was pacing back and forth feverishly but did not stop his tirade.
"What a complete fool to think…and I was prepared to offer…everything! For what? A woman who would befriend my innocent sister in order to forward a match with me. A woman with a family who shows no decorum, with relatives in trade!"
"You have said quite enough, sir!" Elizabeth yelled as she stood.
Darcy was stopped short by the pure anger in those words. When he finally looked at Elizabeth, he saw such anger and hurt in her face that he was stunned silent.
Elizabeth slowly made her way forward until she was standing directly in front of Darcy. She was shaking as she spoke again in a controlled yet biting tone.
"And those are the words of a gentleman? You have insulted me in every way possible and now can have nothing further to say. I have only to be ashamed of my own feelings…"
At this, Elizabeth's voice broke slightly and countenance deflated. It was such a sight that Darcy reached out a hand towards her but she quickly stepped out of reach and looked up at him. Then she continued in a soft, broken voice.
"…It is no matter, I shall overcome these feelings. For the man who was my friend, who I greatly admired, does not exist." With that, she could no longer stop her tears and quickly ran away towards the parsonage.
Darcy did not follow her. He could not. He sat heavily upon the same tree that she had been sitting up at his arrival and put his head in his hands with only one thought in his mind. What have I done?
Chapter 23
Darcy's anger and disappointment could not be contained after he watched Elizabeth run off in tears. He rose and stormed back to Rosings yet did not dare enter the great house. He saddled his own horse, not wishing to wait upon the stable boy, and left again for a punishing ride across the estate. His mind would not calm and the vision of her face would not abate.
He returned to Rosings after several hours but locked himself in his room with instructions that he was not to be disturbed and would not be joining his family for the meal that evening. Lady Catherine was quite put out but did not press her nephew. Colonel Fitzwilliam was concerned but hoped that Darcy would confide in him when he was ready.
The day passed slowly for Darcy with only his regrets and a bottle of spirits to keep him company. After some time, even the bottle abandoned him as the last of its amber contents slipped down his throat. He was unaware of how much time had passed when he heard his cousin inform Darcy's valet that he would not be needed and could retire for the evening.
"Well, you are in a fine state." The Colonel said sympathetically.
Darcy did not bother to respond or move from his slouched position in the chair that he had occupied all afternoon. He raised his eyes to his cousin briefly before looking away again. Colonel Fitzwilliam lazily walked toward his cousin and picked up the bottle on the table.
"What's this? You didn't even bother saving some for me? Bad form, Darcy, bad form."
Although the Colonel was attempting to lighten the oppressive mood, Darcy could not help but stir at the rebuke.
"Yes, yes, I have determined to make all possible poor decisions today Fitz! The bottle was only my latest victim." Darcy mumbled.
"Hmmm." The Colonel said no more as he sat in the chair next to his cousin.
"Would you care to regale me with all of these 'poor decisions' that you have made today, cousin? I confess to being intrigued."
Darcy suddenly turned toward his cousin and leaned in.
"Certainly, Fitz…would you care to hear how your responsible cousin was, taken in by a fortune hunter?"
Colonel Fitzwilliam was shocked by the wild look in his cousin's eyes.
"Would it amuse you to hear that I fully intended to be engaged by this evening when I awoke this morning? It is absolutely absurd considering my current state but I thought myself the happiest man in England this morning! Yes, yes, it has been an eventful day. The Master of Pemberley brought to his knees by a woman of no standing. I, the man who has successfully evaded all of the great matchmakers of London, falls for a country girl with no fortune and relatives in trade!"
Darcy slumped back down into his chair before continuing in a lowered voice.
"She accuses me of not acting as a gentleman and, yet, even now my heart threatens to break. If I close my eyes, I can see the betrayal on HER face! What have I become?"
Colonel Fitzwilliam could not keep quiet any longer.
"It is obvious that there has been some sort of misunderstanding. You are referring to Miss Bennet as a fortune hunter? What has led you to believe this?"
"She knew of Wickham, Fitz! She did not deny it!"
The Colonel's brow furrowed at this.
"You mean to tell me that Miss Elizabeth Bennet admitted to being in league with that scoundrel?"
"When I mentioned his name, there was recognition in her eyes! When I questioned her, she did not deny knowing him. How could this happen? How could I be so completely blinded…Again! Even Aunt Catherine was able to see her scheming…"
Colonel Fitzwilliam abruptly cut off his cousin.
"What do you mean that Aunt Catherine saw through her scheming? Darcy, do not tell me that you allowed our aunt to influence you against the woman that you clearly love!"
"Aunt Catherine expressed her concerns that Elizabeth was attempting to make a great match. I was blind to Elizabeth's true motives…just as I was with Mrs. Young. I have failed my sister and almost doomed myself to a marriage to a woman who does not love me but only my fortune. Yet, her face, her every look indicated that I wounded her." Darcy said dejectedly.
Colonel Fitzwilliam had heard quite enough.
"Darcy, I care for you as a brother but I must tell you that you are a damned fool! From your drunken ramblings, all I can say with certainty is that our aunt has successfully swayed you from offering for the woman of your choice."
"But Wickham…"
"Come now, Darcy! You cannot truly believe that Miss Bennet would have any dealings with Wickham. Why, she is a gentleman's daughter! Did you even give her an opportunity to explain why she recognized his name?"
Darcy scowled but did not respond.
"I believe that you need a good night's rest to sleep off the contents of that bottle and then should make your way to the parsonage at first light. If you truly love this woman, then you owe it to both of you to clear up any misunderstandings. Do not drive away your happiness due to assumptions and the poison that our bitter aunt has planted in your head."
Although Darcy did not respond, Colonel Fitzwilliam could see that his words were working upon his cousin's mind. He stood up, and laid a hand on his cousin's shoulder.
"You are a good man,
Darcy. Tomorrow will be brighter."
Darcy was still staring into the fire, but nodded his head. With that, Colonel Fitzwilliam left his cousin to his thoughts and retired for the evening.
Few hours and little sleep later, Darcy awoke regretting his indulgence the day before. Unwilling to fully believe the worst of Elizabeth and bolstered by the words of his cousin, he set out for an early morning ride.
Realizing that it was too early for even Elizabeth to be out walking and much too early to call on the parsonage, Darcy could not resist directing his horse in that route.
While he was still quite a distance from the Parsonage, he was surprised to see a carriage waiting in the lane and what appeared to be several servants loading contents. A feeling of dread filled him even as he urged his horse to pick up the pace. Slowing his horse to a stop upon reaching the parsonage, Darcy dismounted and walked towards Mrs. Collins who was directing the servants.
"Good morning, Mrs. Collins."
"Good morning to you, Mr. Darcy." Mrs. Collins responded with a small smile and glance towards the garden.
"I was out for my morning ride and recognized my aunt's carriage. I was unaware that Lady Catherine had already arisen when I left this morning. I hope that all is well, madam?"
Mrs. Collins could see the obvious confusion upon the gentleman's face. She was curious to see his reaction upon hearing her explanation.
"Lady Catherine has not graced us with an early morning visit, sir. However, she was so kind as to offer her carriage and Miss de Bourgh's companion to my friend."
Seeing that this only caused further confusion, Mrs. Collins continued.
"I apologize, Mr. Darcy, but I assumed you had been informed at dinner last evening. My friend, Miss Bennet, became quite home sick yesterday and expressed her desire to return home sooner than originally planned. When my husband mentioned this development to Lady Catherine yesterday, she quite benevolently offered to make all of the arrangements."
"I see." Darcy's face became gravely serious as he realized the implications of his aunt's benevolence.
Mrs. Collins stood awkwardly watching the stern countenance of the man before her. After a moment, she said, "If you will excuse me, Mr. Darcy, I should return to the kitchen to ensure that the basket I prepared for Elizabeth's journey is not forgotten."
The mention of her name finally broke through Darcy's stormy thoughts.
"Is Miss Bennet within, madam? I would like to take my leave, if possible, since I am here."
Mrs. Collins paused only a moment before coming to a decision.
"She is walking in the garden alongside the house, sir. Good day, Mr. Darcy."
With a quick curtsy, Mrs. Collins turned to return to the house hoping that she did the right thing in sending the rich gentleman towards her friend.
Chapter 24
Elizabeth slowly circled the garden alongside the Parsonage. She came to a stop besides the lavender bush that was just beginning to come to life after the cold winter months. Closing her eyes, she breathed deeply trying to calm the turmoil within her mind. Try as she might, sleep had not found her last night and she was greatly fatigued this morning. Opening her eyes and looking towards the glimmer of light on the horizon, she hoped that normalcy would return yet again once she was home. Hearing the sound of the garden gate latch, she turned to glance over her shoulder and her breath caught. All of the anger and hurt from their last meeting resurfaced as she watched Mr. Darcy slowly approach. Once he was near, he bowed but she only turned her back to him once again.
"Good morning, Miss Bennet." He said quietly.
Elizabeth remained silent and refused to acknowledge his greeting.
"I wanted to take my leave of you since I have only now found that you will be departing for home today." He tried again.
Still, no response.
Desperation caused Darcy to speak louder with urgency.
"Will you not even speak to me, Elizabeth? Before you run away!"
Finally, this brought about a reaction from the lady.
Elizabeth turned with narrowed eyes.
"I would thank you to keep your voice down, Mr. Darcy! There are servants about and I would not wish to incite any gossip. Also, I do not recall giving you leave to use my Christian name; although, you have continually done so over the course of our…shall we call it acquaintance?"
Darcy was struck by her harsh tone even though he knew that he deserved no less. Taking a deep breath, he tried again lowering his voice.
"You are quite right, Miss Bennet. I arrived early hoping to have a moment with you to apologize for my reprehensible behavior yesterday."
"Oh? What an incredible impact a night's slumber has affected upon you, sir. Then you have come to the conclusion that I am not the type of woman who befriends innocent young women for material gain? Or plots to entrap those she considered a friend?"
"Miss Bennet, please allow me to explain…" Darcy implored.
Elizabeth could not stop the flow of vitriol from her mouth.
"What explanation could there be for such accusations, sir? You accuse me of plotting to entrap you and, yet, there have been numerous occasions since I made your acquaintance that could have been used towards such an end. Why would I have waited to capitalize if entrapment was my goal? I might also ask why you have constantly met me quite alone during my visit here, sir? Did you not realize the threat to my reputation? Yet, you blame me for orchestrating some elaborate scheme with a philanderer of the worst kind!"
Elizabeth could not control the tears that threatened to spill so she turned her back on the gentleman again.
Darcy stepped closer to her as he spoke softly.
"You are absolutely, correct. I am at a loss of where to begin to apologize for my behavior towards you."
"Why? Why did you do such a thing?" She whispered.
"I wish I could defend my actions but I have come to realize that I was influenced by others to doubt my own feelings. A fool in love…"
Elizabeth gasped as she turned around to face him once again.
"Love? You would speak to me of love? After you believed the worst of me and spoke so callously of my family? You must desist at once." Elizabeth's usual composure disappeared before his eyes. He reached for her hand but she quickly moved away.
"Please leave, sir. I can take no more of your cruel games. I spent the night mourning the loss of a true friend who I believed to respect me as I respected him. I cannot bear to hear…" She stopped speaking as the tears trailed down her cheeks.
Darcy's own heart was breaking all over as he watched what his actions had done to Elizabeth. He was desperate to make this right.
"Please, please tell me what to do, Miss Bennet? How can I make amends?" He pleaded.
She would not look at his face as she walked past him towards the garden gate. Before she passed through, she spoke once more staring at the ground between them.
"I do not know, sir, but I cannot bear to be in your presence a moment longer. Good-bye, Mr. Darcy."
Elizabeth lifted her eyes to his face for a brief moment before passing through the gate towards Mrs. Collins. Mr. Darcy remained in the garden, rooted to the place that she left him until he saw the coach carry her away.
Chapter 25
"William, what have you done?"
Darcy looked up from the document that he was reading to see his sister storming into his study. Her face was flushed and her eyes accusing as she walked right up to him, clutching what appeared to be a letter in her hand.
"Georgiana, what is the meaning of this?" Darcy asked, more curious than angry at his young sister's tone.
Georgiana seemed to calm slightly but only just before she continued.
"I have received a most distressing letter from Elizabeth."
Hearing her name spoken, felt like a knife to his heart. Darcy had returned to his house in London three weeks ago after the disaster at Hunsford. The overwhelming feeling of loss and regret seemed to weigh upon him he
avier with each passing day. He had hoped to conceal his abominable behavior from his sister. Looking dejectedly at the letter clutched in her hand, it appeared that he was not to be so lucky. Gathering all of the fortitude he could muster, he looked up into his sister's face.
"Is your friend well, Georgie?"
Georgiana was not ignorant of her brother's melancholy since his return from Hunsford. She had wanted to approach him about it but could never find the courage over the past few weeks. Upon receipt of this long-awaited letter from her friend, she now had more questions than ever.
Friends Before Lovers Page 10
