"Oh dearest! It is no wonder that you are so confused and upset. I could not believe such behavior from Mr. Darcy but I know that you must speak the truth." Jane exclaimed.
"Jane, I do not know what to do! I have struggled to discover who the real man is…the gentleman who I teased and danced and walked with? Or, the haughty and arrogant person who spoke so cruelly to me?"
"And his parting words to you were to beg your forgiveness and asked to repair the breach? He must understand why you would want to escape his company after such a display. Yet, perhaps there is some explanation Lizzy? I know that you could not bear to be near him so soon but it is too bad that he could not have an opportunity to explain himself."
At this, Elizabeth could not help but blush. She was knew it was not wise to speak of such a breach of propriety; however, she also knew that she could trust her sister implicitly.
"He…he found a way to provide further explanation." Lizzy stammered.
Jane's confusion was obvious.
"Whatever do you mean, Lizzy? I know that you have not traveled since your return and Mr. Darcy has not visited the county recently?" Jane questioned.
"He wrote me a letter and enclosed it in a letter that I received from Georgiana." Elizabeth admitted quietly.
Jane could not contain her astonishment. Elizabeth began speaking before her sister could begin her admonishments.
"I realize the risk of such actions and I truly do not know if I am pleased to have his explanations or not. He speaks of love but he also hurt me deeply." Elizabeth could not continue.
Jane took Elizabeth's hand in her own and quietly asked, "I believe that pain caused by one we hold in high regard hurts the most. Were you in love with him, Lizzy?"
"I…I do not know. I did not even allow myself to consider such a thing, with our situations being so unequal. I certainly thought well of him. I enjoyed the time that I spent in his company and our conversations."
The sisters were quiet for a moment before Jane spoke again.
"Do you think that there is a possibility that you could forgive him? Perhaps you can gain further insight into his true character if you spend time observing him at his estate?"
Elizabeth looked slightly panicked again.
"Do not ask it of me. My feelings are in turmoil when I think of seeing him again. My anger and hurt at his words resurface yet I regret the loss of a friendship I valued so much."
"I will not press you to join us, Lizzy. However, he spoke of his love for you and you admitting to admiring him. Perhaps, there will yet be a happy conclusion to this. I will support you in whatever decision you make."
Elizabeth only nodded before they returned to the house so that Lizzy could call for the carriage and return to Longbourn.
Elizabeth's sleep was troubled that night. She knew that she would have to explain to Georgiana that she would be unable to visit Pemberley. She did not wish to hurt her friend but the fear of meeting Mr. Darcy again was too great to ignore.
The next day, Elizabeth was attempting to find solace in her father's bookroom when Mrs. Hill entered. Her dear housekeeper bobbed a curtsey as she held out a tray.
"A letter for you, Miss Elizabeth."
Elizabeth thanked her with a smile as she picked up the letter. However, that smile quickly disappeared as she felt the thick letter that reminded her of another she received in the Spring.
Chapter 28
"Papa, it is such a fine morning, I believe that I will take my letter to the garden to read." Elizabeth said with a slight tremble.
Her father did not look up from his paper, and merely nodded his head. It was not unusual for Elizabeth to find any excuse to be out of the house.
Once she was situated a reasonable distance from the house, Elizabeth sat upon a small garden bench and eagerly opened the letter. As soon as she spied the hidden letter sealed within, she let out a rush of breath. She would not admit, even to herself, how much she desired to hear from Mr. Darcy again.
Dear Miss Elizabeth,
I apologize again for importuning you in this manner. As we have already established, it seems that my arrogance knows no bounds, even the bounds of propriety.
I am writing to set your mind at ease regarding your upcoming visit to Pemberley with your sister and Bingley. I realized that you had no means of communicating a response to me after my earlier transgressional letter. I have no knowledge of whether you wish to be in my company or not. Although, I hope with all of my heart that we might mend the rift that I have caused, I do not expect your forgiveness. With that in mind, I wanted to assure you that I will do everything within my power during your visit to accommodate whatever your wish may be regarding our interactions. If you wish to avoid my presence as much as possible, I will endeavor to make my person scarce. Above all else, I hope that you will enjoy your visit with Georgiana who is absolutely thrilled that you will be reunited soon.
In an effort to further entice you, I will add that Pemberley offers much to those who enjoy long walks through the countryside. Our forests are alive with color. When I walk our paths at harvest time, I am surrounded by the beauty of Providence. I will admit that I have been lately searching for the peace that such walks bring; however, brief I may feel it. If the beauty of the countryside is not enough to convince you, then perhaps the thought of apple tarts will do the job? I remember your love of apples and we have an abundance right now.
I am hoping that this clandestine letter has done its service. The promise of endless walking paths, apple tarts and brief interaction with the eldest Darcy. I wish you safe travels on your journey to Pemberley.
God bless,
F. D.
Elizabeth spent the rest of the day and evening reflecting upon Mr. Darcy's missive. The fact that he was willing to distance himself for her comfort, even in his own home, was generous. Even though she felt justified in her anger with him, she could also appreciate that he was a wealthy gentleman accustomed to acquiescing to no one.
Although the letter was devoid of any mention of his feelings towards her, Elizabeth could not help but smile at his reference to her love of apples. Perhaps the supposed 'love' that he professed at Hunsford was already waning in the face of time and distance. This thought caused a pang within her heart.
Georgiana's letter was light and filled with her latest activities. Her friend hoped to spend some time with both Elizabeth as well as Amelia before the holidays. The lure of friendship was strong and helped Elizabeth to make a decision with regards to the upcoming trip.
The following day, Elizabeth walked the distance to Netherfield. Jane welcomed her warmly and they settled in for a chat while Charles met with his steward.
"I have decided to travel with you to Derbyshire as we originally planned." Elizabeth said without much preamble.
"I am glad to hear it; though, may I ask what brought about this change of heart?" Jane asked.
Elizabeth did not respond but held up the letter in her reticule in answer.
Jane frowned slightly.
"Am I to understand that Mr. Darcy has once again written to you?"
Elizabeth nodded.
"I see. Do you wish to talk about it?" Jane asked.
"No, I believe that I have given more thought to the situation than was due. Mr. Darcy has promised that he will not impose himself upon me and I wish to visit Georgiana. I am satisfied with my decision." Elizabeth said with certainty.
Jane still looked worried but quickly cleared it away.
"Well, then, I believe we should be off to Meryton. I wish to outfit my sister for the wilds of the North!" Jane exclaimed.
The sisters laughed and then gathered their wraps as the carriage was called.
A lovely day was spent deciding on colors and patterns for the outer wear Jane thought necessary. The time flew by as it often does when spent with those you love best. Jane left Elizabeth at Longbourn with many of the ready-made purchases of the day and then continued on to Netherfield.
Jan
e found Charles working intently at his desk in his study. She stood for a moment in the doorway smiling at her husband. Although they wed almost one year ago, Jane could still not believe her good fortune. She was thankful for the relationship that she had with Charles and could not imagine him playing with her heart as she believed Mr. Darcy had with Elizabeth. Her remembrance of Mr. Darcy's actions towards her dearest sister spurred her on to enter the study.
Charles looked up and smiled at his wife but then turned serious when he saw the nervous look upon her face.
"Jane, are you well? Did you enjoy your day with Lizzy?" Charles asked.
"Yes, we had a splendid day. However, I…I must speak to you about Mr. Darcy." Jane replied.
The hard edge to her voice led Charles to rise and close the door so that he could find out what had angered his normally sweet bride.
Chapter 29
"Welcome to Derbyshire, Elizabeth!"
Georgiana could not contain her happiness as she embraced her friend. Elizabeth felt a bit rumpled after the long journey from Hertfordshire; however, she found herself smiling at Georgiana's enthusiasm.
When Georgiana released her, Elizabeth looked up to find deep blue eyes fixed upon her. Gathering her courage, she stepped towards the gentleman and returned his bow with a quick curtsy.
"Welcome to Pemberley, Miss Bennet. I hope that you enjoy your stay here."
Elizabeth could hear the apprehension in his voice and thought it best to put him at ease.
"Thank you, Mr. Darcy. I have arrived with every intention of enjoying myself." She said kindly.
He smiled and extended his arm, hoping to escort her into the house; however, Georgiana saved Elizabeth the decision as she quickly snatched up her friend's hand and pulled her up the steps along with Jane. Darcy attempted to hide his disappointment and mounted the stairs to follow the group of ladies with Bingley. He could hear his sister chattering to Elizabeth and Jane of all of the plans for their visit.
Once they entered Pemberley, Mr. Darcy introduced them to his housekeeper who would show them to their rooms. Darcy bowed once again before turning to allow his guests an opportunity to refresh themselves. He was surprised to hear a throat clear and turned to find Charles looking at him expectantly.
"Darce, I wondered if I might have a word with you while the ladies retire to their rooms?"
"Of course, Charles. Would you care to join me in my study?"
At Charles' nod, the men walked silently into the Master's study. Darcy poured them both a drink and took a seat. Charles' was uncharacteristically quiet as he took a sip of his drink.
"Darcy, what are your intentions towards Elizabeth?" Charles stated with force as he stared at his long-time friend.
Darcy was quite taken aback by his friend's uncharacteristically fierce mien. He sputtered a bit before once again gaining control and standing.
"I… I intend to do everything within my power to make her my bride."
Surprise then relief crossed Bingley's face before he relaxed.
"Well, thank God for that! I knew that you would not cross so many lines of propriety if your intentions were not pure. However, you must understand that I needed to be sure. Elizabeth is my sister now and Jane's dearest relation. I will not abide any disrespect or lapse of propriety while she is under my care. I am sure that you would do no less for Georgiana?"
Darcy could not help but bristle at the comparison between Georgiana and Elizabeth; however, Bingley had certainly made his point. Darcy would never allow Georgiana to receive letters from a non-family male, gentleman or not.
"You are correct, Charles. You need not fear for Elizabeth on my account. I have been an utter fool thus far in my dealings with her."
"Yes, I gathered as much." Charles said with a smile.
Darcy scowled at his friend.
"I fail to see the humor in this situation." Darcy then looked concerned and looked towards his friend.
"Did Elizabeth come to you with this? Did she ask that you take up her cause to keep me at bay?" He asked.
Bingley's smile disappeared at his friend's obvious distress.
"No, it was Jane. Elizabeth spoke with her and Jane was justifiably concerned for her sister. I am afraid that you will not find an ally in my Jane, Darce. She is sweet as an angel but extremely protective of her family. You have more than one lady to win over during our stay here if you wish to further your suit."
"Does… Is Mr. Bennet aware of my subterfuge?" Darcy asked quietly.
"No, I wanted to address my concerns with you before taking it to her father. Do not cause me to regret that choice, Darcy."
Darcy could see the determination in his friend and, though it rubbed that his ire was aimed at himself, he was happy to see his friend mature into his role as protector.
"As I already stated, it is my greatest wish that Elizabeth will one day accept my hand. Though, I do not know how I shall accomplish it given my poor behavior thus far."
"Well, I look forward to watching as you are reduced to a mere mortal like the rest of us. Now that I am satisfied you will behave as the gentleman that I know you to be, I will join my wife and put her mind at ease." Bingley stated as he moved towards the door.
Darcy watched Bingley leave as his mind swirled with possibilities for this visit. He was brought out of his thoughts when his friend turned back to speak over his shoulder.
"I wish you luck, Darce. You have set your sights on a worthy, yet singular woman. Elizabeth is not like those ladies of the ton." Bingley added before he closed the door.
"No, no she most definitely is not." Darcy whispered to the empty room.
Chapter 30
Elizabeth slept wonderfully in the opulent chamber she had been given for her visit at Pemberley. She was a tad sleepy this morning since Georgiana had stayed with her last night until Elizabeth could no longer contain her exhaustion. The two young ladies had spent that time becoming apprised of all the latest news that had yet to be communicated via letter. Alas, Elizabeth was unable to stay abed for long and, consequently, was one of the first to arrive at the breakfast room this morning.
"Good morning, Miss Bennet." Mr. Darcy said upon her entrance as he rose from his seat at the head of the table.
"Good day, Mr. Darcy." Elizabeth replied before making her way to the sideboard.
She quickly made her selection before turning around to find Mr. Darcy still standing. They looked at each other for a moment before the gentleman spoke again.
"I…I trust that you slept well?" He enquired.
Elizabeth smiled and replied, "Yes, sir, I did. My room is quite lovely and the view of the gardens is spectacular."
A wide smile spread across the gentleman's face.
"Yes, I believed you would enjoy the aspect from the green room."
As soon as the words left his mouth, Mr. Darcy's cheeks colored at his admission of selecting her room specifically. Elizabeth smirked slightly before sitting down at the table so that her host could do likewise. Not wishing to cause any further embarrassment, they both broke their fast in relative silence. Once Elizabeth had had her fill of both food and quiet, she rose.
"I believe I shall take an early walk, sir. Good day." She said as she bobbed a curtsey.
A brief flash of panic crossed Mr. Darcy's face as he stood.
"Oh, of course. Would you care if I…that is, do you desire an escort?" He asked hopefully.
Elizabeth was sorry to disappoint him but did not feel equal to spending more time in his presence alone yet.
"Thank you, sir, but I do not wish to importune you. I planned to wander the east gardens that I was able to spy out of my window this morning." She said kindly.
Elizabeth could see that he was about to offer again so she quickly added, "Also, your sister has promised to take me on a proper tour sometime today and I do not wish to be gone too long."
Elizabeth could see that her response disappointed the gentleman. Before she exited the room, she could not resi
st adding, "I was promised endless walks while in Derbyshire. I am eager to begin, sir."
Delighted that she remembered and quoted his own words, Darcy smiled broadly.
"And I am certain that Derbyshire will not disappoint, Miss Bennet."
Mr. Darcy bowed and wished her a pleasant walk. Elizabeth thanked him and left the room.
Both were pleased with their first solitary conversation since Elizabeth's arrival.
The next few days of the visit passed pleasurably. Jane and Elizabeth were excited to become acquainted with the grounds and Georgiana was eager to share her home with her friends. Darcy was extremely pleased with Georgiana's enthusiasm and improved confidence in her hosting skills.
The ladies enjoyed their time together and spent many hours in the music room as well as in the conservatory. Elizabeth and Jane were in awe of the variety of hot house flowers that Pemberley maintained. Elizabeth mentioned this during dinner on their second night and was surprised to find that her room contained a new bouquet each morning thereafter.
Georgiana also led Elizabeth and Jane on a shopping expedition into Lambton since Mr. Darcy, Elizabeth, Charles and Jane would be attending a harvest ball the following week. Georgiana was quite put out to be excluded which caused her brother to laugh heartily at her sudden change of heart regarding social gatherings. The brother and sister ended up teasing each other on their strategies to avoid attending events. Jane was surprised to see the Darcy siblings so relaxed and loving. She glanced at her own teasing sister only to find that Lizzy was staring at Mr. Darcy with a small smile. Jane felt Charles squeeze her hand and look at him. He just winked at her with a quick glance in Lizzy direction and then launched into his own story of Darcy stealthily dodging certain gentleman at their club.
Friends Before Lovers Page 12
