by A. D. Ryan
I hadn’t been expecting our meeting to happen right away, but knew it might actually be better that way, so I agreed and followed Marcus out of the dining room. When we entered the library, Marcus closed the heavy wooden doors and faced me. “So, you’ve thought about our earlier discussion?”
“I have,” I replied. “But that’s not the only reason I wanted to meet with you today.”
My tone must have concerned him, because his eyebrows pulled together with questions. “Sounds serious.” He crossed his arms. “What else did you want to discuss?”
There was no sugarcoating it. An Alpha wouldn’t skirt the issue; they would just come out and address the issue at hand. So, with a deep breath, I finally said, “Cordelia.”
Chapter19 | impossible
Marcus looked at me for a moment, confused and intrigued, but then concern flashed in his eyes. “Cordelia? Is everything okay?”
I hadn’t meant to worry him, only to make him aware of her struggles at night. “I’m sorry,” I started. “I’m sure it’s nothing—in fact, Nick reminded me that I went through the same thing after we left Scottsdale—but Colby’s worried about her behavior.”
“Her behavior? But she seems fine.”
I nodded. “Yeah. During the day, sure.” My eyebrows pulled together, and I paused briefly. “But at night? Marcus, Colby can’t even sleep in her room. She told me that Cordelia doesn’t sleep.”
“That’s not too shocking, considering all she’s been through.” He was starting to sound defensive, so I held my hands up in supplication.
“No, I get that—believe me, no one gets that more than me, Marcus.”
Sympathy flashed across his face. “Shit. Of course. I didn’t mean—”
“No, I know. I’m not offended.” I took a deep breath. “I saw what Colby was explaining, and it was…unnerving.” Marcus remained silent, his worry thick in the air between us. “I came down for a snack in the middle of the night, and when I headed back upstairs, she was talking to herself, rocking back and forth on her bed. But then, just when I turned to go back to my room, she was at the door in a flash. Her eyes—” I shivered “—they were dark. It might have been a trick of the light or because of how overtired I was, but she acted angry that I’d been spying on her. Then, out of nowhere, she shook it off and she was back to her old self. It was like she was two different people.
“I just…having experienced this after David’s death, I worry about her. I think she might need someone to talk to, or maybe something to help her sleep at night? I don’t know. I’m not really a doctor or educated on this sort of thing, but something definitely strikes me as odd. And this is coming from someone who’s gone through some pretty awful stuff—past and present.”
His eyes locked on mine, his reluctance obvious. “How were you able to overcome it all?”
My lips curled up into a small smile as I simply stated. “Nick. I can’t explain it, but he brought me comfort and peace whenever I started to lose myself.”
“It was likely the bond the two of you share. Your history with one another notwithstanding, his involvement in what happened to you—”
“You mean when he bit me,” I corrected him. “No need to dance around it. I’m dealing with it.”
Marcus tipped his head apologetically. “Yes. When he bit you, bringing you over into this life, it strengthened the bond between the two of you.” A smile formed on his lips, softening his expression slightly. “It’s a rare and beautiful thing when this bond is formed between a mated couple. You two will always be able to sense what the other is feeling, even with miles between you.”
Heaving a sigh, Marcus broke eye contact and turned away. “Thank you for letting me know about Cordy. I haven’t known you to be wrong yet, Brooke, so I’ll look into it and maybe get Miranda to talk to her a little more about what happened. She’s…” He exhaled heavily. “She’s reluctant to talk too much about what she went through.”
I bit my bottom lip nervously before telling him what I’d told Colby the night before. “She feels like you abandoned her after she’d been taken.”
This news surprised Marcus.
“I explained that you hadn’t, of course. I told her you all searched for years, but Gianna had the compound too well hidden.”
I sensed his hurt, could almost feel my heart break along with his as he registered what I’d told him. “We searched every day.”
“I know.”
“But at some point, you just have to accept what is, you know? We thought they’d killed her.”
I rounded the table and laid a hand on his shoulder supportively. “Anyone would have. You can’t blame yourself for this,” I told him. “Gianna is to blame.”
Marcus’s hands curled against the tabletop, scratching the polished wood top. “I wish I could have been there when you killed her.”
I remembered the moment her body turned to ash, and the wolf and I both smiled wistfully. “It was pretty amazing,” I confessed.
He turned to me, eyes burning into mine. “Your brother—”
Bile churned in my stomach, and I shook my head vehemently. Even though, for years, I’d wished for my brother to be alive, seeing what he’d become blinded me with rage. I didn’t ever wanted to be associated with him again. “That thing is not my brother.”
“He held her and continued to torture her. He needs to be stopped.”
“And he will be,” I assured him. “You will find him and you will get your revenge.”
Waves of calm flowed through the room as Marcus regarded me, an appreciative smile slowly forming on his lips. “Thank you. It’s not just anyone who can calm me down. I’ve chosen wisely.”
Warmth filled my cheeks and I averted my gaze, humbled. “About that…”
“You’re not turning me down, are you?”
“No, actually,” I confessed confidently. “But I’d like to negotiate some terms.”
Marcus stood up straight again and crossed his arms in front of him. “All business. You continue to impress me. Please, go on.”
I move toward the window, looking out over the yard and toward the mountains. The sky was blue, the sun still rising toward its highest point, and the peaks of the mountains were blanketed by big, fluffy white clouds.
“I’ve only just been introduced to this world, having been bitten a few months ago,” I explained, even though he knew this. “As you know, I still struggle with aspects of my new nature, though I am more open to accepting it all a little more readily. You and Nick are both confident that I’m the perfect fit for the role of Alpha—should I need to step into it—but I’m scared my inexperience could get the Pack killed.”
“Brooke, I already told you I’d train you—we can start this afternoon.” He looked eager, and I couldn’t help but smile.
“That would be perfect. But I feel like I need something more. I want Nick to lead by my side. He knows more about this lifestyle than me—he’s so comfortable with the way things work—and I’ll need him to be there, assuring me. Guiding me.”
Grinning, Marcus nodded. “Nick is a great right-hand man,” he assured me.
“I can see that, but I want Jackson to be my right-hand man. I want Nick to be as respected as me. When he gives an order, I want the Pack to respect what he says in the same way they respect you, and the way I hope they’ll respect me.”
When Marcus didn’t object, hope swelled in my chest. “Jackson?”
I nodded. “We’ve grown close since I’ve come to live here. Having been through similar life experiences, I feel comfortable around him.”
“I’ve noticed.” Marcus took a beat before his posture softened. He surveyed me from head to toe with a quick sweep of his eyes, and his lips quirked, amused. “All right. When Jackson returns to the manor, you and I will talk to him together. Nick will lead the Pack at your side, but you will have first and final say. He will take on the role of your advisor and will take over only in your absence or with your express permission.”
Satisfaction settled over me as I held out my hand for Marcus to shake. Looking down at it, he laughed as he took it, instead pulling me toward him for a hug. “We’ll get started this afternoon,” he told me. “This should keep us occupied while we wait for Jackson to contact us again.”
After breakfast, Marcus and I headed outside. He wanted to test my self-defense skills, and after that, he’d planned a little study session in the library. At first, studying sounded pointless, but Marcus assured me that learning how past Alphas led their packs would help me while I was still trying to find my groove and build a relationship with the Pack.
Out of nowhere, pain exploded in my left cheek as Marcus struck me. I feared my eye socket might shatter. I stumbled to the right, trying to find my balance and retaliate as Marcus stood, unfazed.
“I told you I’m not going to hold back, and neither should you,” Marcus ordered, voice gruff, as I stood up, pressing my hand to the side of my face.
I tasted blood in my mouth and instantly spit it onto the snow, standing upright and squaring my shoulders. “Sorry,” I said, cracking my neck to relieve the tension. “I didn’t realize you were going to sucker punch me.”
Marcus smirked, eyebrows raised as he accepted my snide comment as the challenge it was meant to be. “Oh, really?”
“Yeah,” I quipped. “You gonna come at me again, or are you just going to stand there and lecture me?”
Marcus and I lunged for each other. He threw several punches in quick succession, and I dodged each one before grabbing his wrist on the last one and gracefully moving around him and kicking the back of his knee, sending him to the ground.
Breathing heavily, he looked up at me, his black hair in his face. “Very good,” he praised, standing up.
My mistake was in accepting his praise as an opportunity to rest.
He was on his feet and attacking me again before I could even register what had happened. When he said he wasn’t going to hold back, he wasn’t joking. It took me until after the back of his left hand connected with my face before I was able to recover. Using the momentum from his hit, I twisted around, crouching low and sweeping my leg under his, knocking him onto his back.
As I approached to go in for “the kill,” Marcus acted fast, grabbing one of my ankles and yanking my feet out from under me. I hit the frozen ground hard, the cold snow melting against my rising temperature and soaking the back of my clothes. Even though my head was a little foggy from the impact, I successfully performed a backward somersault, but the minute I got to my feet, I stumbled, my balance affected. I wobbled again, suddenly nauseous as well as dizzy, and something told me this wasn’t related to the fight—something else was wrong.
Before I could fall back to the ground, a strong arm wrapped itself around my waist and I rested against the warm body to my right.
“Jesus,” Nick growled. “What did you do to her?”
Marcus rushed over, the snow crunching under his shoes. Warm hands cupped my face, coaxing my gaze up. My vision was fuzzy, slowly clearing until I looked into Marcus’s eyes. “Get her inside and upstairs. I’ll send Miranda up.”
The urgency in his voice should have worried me—and it did a little—but my darkening vision took precedence. In one fell sweep of his arms, Nick had me cradled against his body as he rushed me inside and upstairs. I closed my eyes as he lowered me to the bed, and I rolled onto my side.
“Are you okay?” he asked, his tone clipped with worry. “He should have gone easy on you. You weren’t ready.”
My eyes fluttered open, and I tried to sit up, only to succumb to the dizziness and nausea again. “It wasn’t him,” I replied, my voice hoarse. “Everything was fine. We were sparring, I was kicking his ass for the most part, and then…everything went dark and I got really dizzy.”
“How long have you been feeling this way?” a soft voice said from the doorway. I opened my eyes and let my vision focus on Miranda as she entered the room with a small black bag in her hands. “You’ve been feeling a little under the weather for a while, no?”
Nick looked between us, eyebrows furrowed and his blue eyes reflecting his worry.
I had to think about it. Yeah, I’d been sick, but I figured it was just a side effect of the silver nitrate expelling itself from my body and eating so much again after starving myself for a couple of weeks. It had only been a few days; maybe I was still adjusting.
The bed dipped beside me as Miranda sat next to me, and she urged me onto my back gently. “Can you sit up, honey?” she asked. “Just lean against the headboard.”
I did as she asked, pushing myself up until I was almost upright and adjusting my shirt since it had ridden up when Nick set me down. When I lifted my head to meet Miranda’s gaze, she was staring at my abdomen, making me self-conscious because I’d put on a little weight with my binge sessions throughout the day. It was something that hadn’t really been an issue since I’d been bitten, so it baffled me now.
Again, I blamed the silver nitrate. It was the only common denominator. The only explanation. It suppressed my wolf abilities, so maybe it slowed the increased wolf metabolism back down to something more akin to my human one. It seemed like the only logical explanation.
Miranda opened her bag and rifled through it. “Nick, would you mind giving us a little privacy? Just for a moment.”
Nick didn’t seem happy about the idea, but he did so without question. Miranda watched as he closed the door, and she continued to look at the door for another couple minutes. I honed my hearing and realized that she was waiting until Nick had reached the main floor, giving us more than enough privacy.
She turned to me, her eyes more serious than I’d ever seen. “When was your last period, Brooke?”
The question caught me completely off guard. Why would that even matter?
“Uh, not for about three years? I spot here and there, but I get that birth control shot, so it’s not often…haven’t in about six months, actually.” I sat up straighter, suddenly afraid. “Why?”
Miranda bit the inside of her cheek. “Can you lift your shirt, please?”
Confused and growing more and more concerned by the second, I did as she asked. Her eyes focused on my very slightly distended abdomen before her warm hands encased it. Her fingers moved over my skin, pressing down every so often—sometimes almost uncomfortably.
Her eyebrows pulled together in concentration as she pushed on the sides of my surprisingly hard stomach. She was starting to freak me out.
“Miranda, you’re freaking me out. What the hell is going on?”
She withdrew her hands, settling them in her lap as I adjusted my shirt again. We sat in an uncomfortable silence, every second making me more and more anxious. “Having witnessed a few things since your return, and then today’s little episode…” She paused, and I wanted to shake her and demand to know what the hell was wrong with me. I didn’t have to wait long, however, but the second the words left her mouth, I wanted her to take them back.
“I think you might be pregnant.”
Chapter20 | mission
I looked at Miranda like she’d lost her ever-loving mind. And then I laughed. Hard. “That’s impossible,” I argued, my voice wavering with uncertainty as I did some last-minute math in my head. “I’m on the shot, and I’m not due to get another for about five weeks.”
Miranda sighed, the sound heavy and somewhat remorseful. “Sweetheart, mainstream birth control isn’t compatible with our reproductive systems. The hormones aren’t strong enough to be effective, unfortunately.”
That got my attention, and I flew out of bed in a blind panic. “What the hell do you mean it isn’t effective?” I demanded, my voice higher than I’d ever heard it as I stood above her.
“The night you were bitten, the wolf genes took over quickly. It’s possible the birth control was effective for the first couple weeks or so…but after that? Definitely after your first full moon…” She shook her head solemnly. “I’m guessing this
isn’t something you want.”
I froze, unable to even process what the hell was happening. “Want?” I finally managed to croak. “It’s definitely not something I planned or am even ready for.” Then something else occurred to me as I ran our entire conversation over in my head again: my birth control could have failed as early as a week or so after I’d been bitten.
My eyes glazed over. “H-how far along do you think I might be?”
Miranda stood up, trying to hold my focus. Nothing could. I was lost in a land of “what-ifs” and “I can’t believe this is happening.”
“Brooke, honey. It’s possible you’re not pregnant and you’re just experiencing stress from everything you’d been through.”
Please let it be that, I hoped silently. I wasn’t sure what I would do if this turned out to be true.
“But,” she continued, “if you are, by chance, pregnant, I wouldn’t be able to give you a definitive answer without a pregnancy test and ultrasound. It could be as far along as the night you were bitten, if I’m being completely honest.”
That was what I was afraid of. If I turned out to be pregnant, I couldn’t be sure who the father was. I had become that girl.
Feeling light-headed, I sat back down on the bed and pressed my face into my hands, unable to believe my luck. “When can we do the test?” I asked, my voice muffled in the palms of my hands.
“I can do a blood draw as early as right now. I’ll just need to go and grab a few things from my room.” Pausing, she laid a hand on my shoulder. “You’ll probably want to tell Nick.”
A tear slid down my cheek as I raised my face. “But what if he’s not the father?” I whispered, my voice cracking.
Realization dawned on her as her mouth fell open. “Oh,” was all she said.
