by Forest Wells
“But I care! You can’t just leave me here. You can’t abandon me like this.”
A part of me tried to remind myself that he was too young to understand. The message was drowned out by pain mixed with anger, forcing a growl from me this time. I glared at Folar, desperate to put an end to the torture. When I did, Folar flattened like a leaf under a rock.
“Why not?” I said. “He did. All on a vow too easily taken as truth. Learn well, young one. Learn the pain so you can remind him of it the next time Rajor calls on Wolfor’s name.”
Folar stared at me in horror as tears filled his eyes yet again. I found another mouthful of pinecones that only made the rage burn hotter.
“You...” Folar stammered. “You don’t... you... you can’t...”
“I can, I will, and I have. This is your pack now, Folar. Go! Be with them, or be my next meal.”
As much to end the encounter as anything else, I snapped at him. Folar screamed like the jaws had landed. He dashed behind Toltan in search of cover, still shaking. Not the best choice, but it’ll do. With Toltan offering almost no reaction, I ruffed at them both before turning back toward my den.
I didn’t get far though.
“Fine then!” Folar said. “Live alone. Be a great big sulky in your little rock pile. I thought you were a hero, but you’re just what my mom warned me of. Stupid skunks pretending to be wolves. Too full of their own fangs to do the right thing.”
Pup’s got some fire. Shame he was too young to run with.
I trotted away before Toltan decided to run me off for kicks, or some other created reason. I stopped at my kill, surprised to find it untouched, and forced down what my stomach would allow. I then took what I could carry back to my den. Once the meat was stashed in the hollow of a nearby tree, I slipped inside my rock pile.
The place felt empty now. In the span of a few days, it had gone from refuge, to home, to comfort, and now it was pain. I could still smell Folar’s fur and tears. For a moment, I thought I could still feel Folar’s fur against mine too. It had been so short I’d barely noticed how nice it felt. A “stupid skunk,” he’d called me? Great big sulky? I wasn’t sure about the skunk part, but I had to admit I laid my head on my paws, more than willing to think about the wounds I couldn’t lick.
“Luna, Luna, back and fine. Ready, ready, hunt and thrive.”
Not again. Should have snapped that bird in two when I had the chance.
I went outside to find the bird, as usual, twitching on top of my den, out of reach. I could only growl as the bird continued to chirp at me.
“Will you leave me alone?” I said. “I’ve suffered enough today.”
“Suffered, yes, sad and true, but listen, wolf, and see. Look within, heart and soul, both are full indeed.”
I rolled my eyes at him. Darn bird had no idea what it was talking about. Not that it should have been a surprise. Mockingbirds weren’t known for intelligent conversation. They could certainly talk though, or at least sing.
“Just shut up,” I said. “I’m not full of anything. Rajor took everything I had.”
“Still have fang, still have claw, still have mind, so far I saw.”
“Got no pack, got no home, and you, my friend, need to roam—before I eat you.”
“Roam I have and roam I will; watch the humans sort their kills.”
I couldn’t help it. My head tilted at the bird, now curious. “What? Humans? Kills? What are you talking about?”
“Come, wolf, come. See, wolf, see. Learn what shares your territoryyyy.”
It fluttered into the woods as it sang, leaving me with a growing headache. I couldn’t tell what made it worse: talking to the bird at all, or even for a second thinking about following it. In the end, curiosity won, along with the dim hope of shutting him up.
I followed the bird’s path with ears perked and eyes high looking for him, or for any danger that may yet hunt either of us. The bird flew around the branches of a tree, still chirping at me, always out of reach.
“Come, wolf, come. See, wolf, see.”
Exiled, scared to death the first night, and now I’m following a bird. I’m going crazy already.
My pace slowed when I found familiar scents on the wind. The same weird, sweet and salty mix I’d found both times I’d been around the two-leggeds. I inhaled the forest through my nose to be sure I hadn’t walked into them.
“No fear, no fear,” the bird sang. “Humans not find wolf here.”
Despite its song, I held plenty of fear. Enough to keep my insides tight and my legs ready to sprint anywhere not here. My ears remained up, however, as they could hear something moving around ahead.
I hugged the ground when I saw the two-leggeds. They were still in their colorful skins, though not as thick right now. They seemed to be collecting piles of sticks and colorful square rocks that held sloshing sounds as if they carried water. Another such rock clinked from within among the sloshing, which made even less sense. More two-leggeds were breaking apart what seemed to be a large rock, yet it collapsed as if it were a skin without a body. They worked this skin, and smaller bones or twigs, into another skin, which they carried over to the strangest rocks yet.
They were huge, very smooth, one bright red while the other was black, and both so glossy I could see reflections on almost every side. More red and some yellow were at the corners of both rocks. On the sides sat round, black rocks, with circular, bright silver middles. The two-leggeds were placing many items in the back of these weird rocks as if stashing them. Some of it appeared to be hides of wolves, foxes, mountain lions, and other animals.
What are these things doing? Do they hibernate? Do they use skins as nest material? Must they carry water into their dens? Why... The questions were stopped by a stare of confusion when the two-leggeds moved part of the rock’s sides away, and then got inside. They moved the sides back with a thunk, sealing themselves inside. What in Wolfor’s tail...
Grrrrrrr-vree-kic-kic-kic-VAROOM!
I didn’t know if I should run, hide, or pray. Their rocks weren’t rocks. They were some kind of beast that had eaten them. Except the two-leggeds had gotten inside willingly, without fear. Stranger still, I could see them inside, still moving around through sides that were transparent. They didn’t seem to be in any distress that I could tell, nor were they crying out for help. After a pair of clunks I’d never heard before, the black rocks on the sides turned on their own, and the creatures left the forest with a great rumble. I watched them go, alarmed that the red corners of the rocks appeared to be glowing.
“Humans gone, humans gone, humans gone at last.”
I stared at the bird, still straight-eared and barely moving. “Humans? So the two-legged animals are called humans. Do you have a name for those big... things?”
“One built tough, one runs deep, both run quickly through the streets!”
I didn’t know a bird could go insane.
I walked away from my singer to investigate where the “humans” had been. Only charred wood and fine dust remained from the fire they had gathered around. Among the dust were parts of their prey, though being burnt as they were, I can see why they left them behind. Why they were so close to a well contained fire in the first place proved a mystery too deep to explore. I found strange seeds or fruits scattered around the area unlike any plant I’d ever seen. Some were hard, some soft and chewy, and a few looked like actual seeds, but were covered in something that seemed to melt in my mouth. The rest tasted some strange mixture of sweet, sour, or bitter whenever I risked eating one. With nothing but packed earth where their... dens?... had been, I ventured on to see what else I could find.
In a pile only just discovered by ravens were the skinless bodies of several animals. Every creature bigger than a rabbit was there. Moose, deer, fox, mountain lion, skunk, all were represented, but these few kills paled compared to the mass of wolf bodies that lay among them.
In some ways, the wolves were worse than the others. The deer, elk, moos
e, and other prey animals were at least missing a few heads and other body parts. I even found a dead rabbit with its paws missing, while some bodies were missing some of their meat, and many others also missing their skin.
The wolves however, were all without a shred of fur or a single tail. Only one was missing a head. The rest were just left there to rot for the scavengers. Those beasts didn’t have the decency to eat them. They just took their hides and left them there. For a moment, I considered running at Toltan in challenge. At least then I could be consumed by the wild with some measure of dignity.
What are these “humans”? With their power, they could have any prey they wanted, yet they let so much go to waste in the worst way. They only took great care with skins, which made less sense than letting such good prey rot.
“So you see, little wolf,” the bird sang. “See and learn and know. Humans, humans, may be your greatest foe.”
Can’t argue with him there. Then again, from what I had seen, they carried their power in their thunder sticks. Without them, I couldn’t see them being a threat. All the same, I was glad to see them gone. I had enough to deal with without dodging them too.
I found little else before a howl rang through the trees. It was yet another new voice to claim parts of the forest not held by Toltan. Amazing, considering the many bodies left to rot without their fur. Hope sprung within me when I considered that maybe, just maybe, I could use this. Maybe I could change my fate.
I sprinted toward the call, praying I could catch them before they found Toltan. Already my pack were raising their voices to mark their section of forest. If any of them actually met these new arrivals, I would never have a chance.
Much like Folar’s pack, they were a small group. An alpha pair, two more barely a year old, and four pups bounding behind them all. Perfect! I thought. They’ll need strength, even if it is young. This is my best chance to find a new pack. I made no effort to hide my approach, crashing through leaves and breaking twigs. A sudden introduction could end any chance before it started. All ears turned my way as I emerged from cover, my ears low and tail tucked. Now was not the time for pride, deserved or otherwise.
“I greet you, fair alpha,” I said.
The alpha male didn’t even blink. “Who are you?”
I prayed he’d believe the lie, even as I hated offering it. “The last survivor of a pack killed by strange creatures. Please. I am young, but I learn well. Let me run with you. Let me add to your strength.”
“A fine tale, pup, but it does not yet answer my question. Who are you? By what name were you born?”
“Luna. My name is—”
“Luna!” his mate echoed. “The pup that murdered his brother? You can't let him join us, Tona. He’ll kill our pups too.”
Tona’s ears turned forward, and my heart sank.
“Step aside, pup,” Tona said. “Word of your crime has spread far. You’ll find none that will take you. You will have to live alone for all your days.”
Pain gave way to a growl. He can’t do this. Rajor can’t deny me everything! “For a crime I didn’t commit? Based on words three times repeated? What a fine member of wolf-hood you are.”
Tona gave a snarl of his own, which his pack echoed. “Watch your tongue, pup.”
“Or what? If you’ll not have me, then you’ll not have these lands. This is my territory. Pups or not, I will defend it. The risk you take is your own.”
Tona’s snarl shook the air, but his ears were back at his younger pups. He watched them and me, then his snarl faded. I raised my tail as Tona retreated with his pack, never turning away until they were well outside sprinting distance.
So be it. If I was to live alone, I might as well build a reputation as being a wolf to be feared. I left a marker where I stood before turning toward my den.
Right into Martol.
“I knew you’d be strong,” she said.
I nearly jumped out of my fur when she spoke right into my nose. I looked around for a scent mark I might have missed, or for the pack coming to kill me.
“Relax, Luna,” she said. “This is not my territory. Nor has anyone else come with me.”
My insides weren’t convinced of that yet. My brain bounced around itself, unsure what to think or feel. Some part of me wondered if she had been the reason for Tona’s retreat, though my mind was too scattered to ponder that for long either. Once things slowed down internally, my ears kept searching while I addressed Martol. I’d had enough surprises for one day.
“Wh... what are you doing out here?”
“After I heard what you did for Folar,” she said, “I had to find you. I had to talk with you, to say things I didn’t get the chance to say.”
I ruffed at her near another growl. Now she wants to talk? Yeah, right. “Like what? Lone wolves can’t live anywhere near their original pack? No, I know. You’ve seen the light and are here to tell me all’s forgiven and I’m welcome to return. That it?”
Martol’s ears fell in pain I didn’t understand or care to learn. “Luna, I don’t deserve that.”
“Don’t you? You stood by and did nothing. You let Toltan take the word of a bully over mine. Don’t deserve it? My sweet, sweet mother. You deserve far more.”
Her ears fell further. Tears formed behind her closed eyes. “Do you think it was easy, for either of us? You didn’t say a word, Luna. We had Rajor alone to speak for you.”
“And you didn’t find error in that? I’d just watched my brother die trying to kill me. What could I possibly say? Then there’s Wolfor. We invoke his name, and suddenly we can speak no lie. Rajor knew what he had to do, and he did it. You had your chance to do the right thing. You didn’t. Then you all watched as Toltan drove me from my home. Now I don’t know how easy it was, but I have to say, it sure looked like you didn’t mind.”
The more I spoke, the more Martol’s eyes tightened, and the lower her ears went. She was almost whimpering as tears snuck out at last. I wanted to say more, to be sure I had made my point, but I stayed silent. I knew she’d come out of it soon, and I wanted to hear her response more than I wanted to yell.
Her eyes opened to show a void where a wolf should be. My ears perked, wondering just what she had to say for herself.
“Toltan was right. I lost two pups that day. Goodbye, Luna. May Wolfor care for you as I no longer can.”
She walked back to her home, still sobbing.
I stood on legs that felt like they’d turned to stone. I didn’t expect that. I’d expected a fight. I wanted a fight. In an odd way, I think I needed a fight. Instead, I’d gotten a thorn in my chest the size of Wolfor’s claw.
I stood staring after her, trying to understand what just happened. For a moment, I considered chasing after her despite the risk. She was only walking, so I had a good chance of catching her before she was back inside her territory. When wisdom, or more lies, silenced that plan, I forced my way back to my den.
It was an odd constant, my rock pile. It gave me strength to deal with what I’d faced so far. Though it couldn’t protect me from what hit as I lay alone that night, for that was the problem. My den held just one wolf and always would. My parents didn’t care, or didn’t try. Other packs would be “warned” of me. No female would want to risk mating with a “pup killer.” In simple terms, Rajor had succeeded in denying me anything but a life of isolation.
Worst of all, some of it was my fault. Despite what I told myself, I’d chased away my last connection. I’d shunned Martol like an enemy before she had a chance to say what she’d come to say. If I had it to do over again, I might have said something else, or maybe said nothing at all. Whatever the case, I now wanted that second chance. I’d give anything to get it, even as I knew I never would.
Tears of my own dampened my fur, and the walls of my den echoed with the first adult sounding howl I’d ever given. A howl so deep, so longing, one would think I was the last wolf on Earth.
Chapter 5
ANOTHER SPRING FOUND me stretching awake
alone in my den. It was my third spring spent as a lone wolf. Two and a half years since Toltan had banished me from my pack and family. Somehow, a part of me knew, or guessed, which day was my birthday each time. The first one wasn’t so bad, though the wounds were still scarring, so it wasn’t great either. My second had a wind storm that howled through the rocks of my den and kept me unnerved the entire day. As I exited my den on my third, I wondered if maybe I’d get a decent day this time.
As usual, my luck wasn’t that good. I walked out into a mist thick enough to turn the forest white. The dew on my fur shimmered, bringing out the now dominant silver. When the light hit it right, it also heightened the glow in the “silver sheen” of my hackles. They were now outlined by a small smattering of black that was even thinner as it touched my fur up to the middle of my back. The cool, soft air was soothing, making me feel light enough to fly. Something that always made it easy to sleep, except my stomach needed food, so I headed out in search of a trail.
The mist messed with that too. I would find a good trail only to lose it minutes later, or have it merge into a mess of other scents even I couldn’t make sense of. A soft growl escaped with each lost scent, wondering if Wolfor didn’t want me to have good birthdays. I didn’t even bother chasing a rabbit when it streaked by. It had too much of a lead, and the way the day was going, I’d just end up with my muzzle planted in a tree.
I pressed on, mostly because there wasn’t much else I could do. More trails went cold until, at last, I found one that was strong and fresh. Thick fox musk, no indication of any injury, but it was alone. Not the easiest of prey, but I had no better option. I followed the trail to the edges of my territory, into an area dominated by rocks on the side of a large hill. It looked like the aftermath of a rock slide, with many of the boulders half buried in dirt and grass, though it still reminded me of the pile I called home.
I followed the trail more with my eyes than my nose. It led me to the base of the pile, where I found a young red fox. It seemed to be digging at something, allowing me to hunker down and approach as carefully as I could. A slow advance, waiting for the right moment to strike. The wind was at me, so all I had to do was get a little closer.
