by Forest Wells
Estrella stood beside me as I limped away. Lonate followed, keeping a close eye on Rajor’s pack. To keep them away or to say a final goodbye, I couldn’t tell which.
We didn’t get but a few steps when Rajor called after us.
“Luna! You’re going the wrong way. Your home is here. You belong to this pack.”
I almost forgot I was injured. Come again? Estrella and I both stared at Rajor, unsure what to think. This wasn’t a boast or tease. He meant it. By Wolfor, he actually meant it. I couldn’t believe it. I wasn’t sure I did.
Rajor used the silence to turn to the pack. He dropped his head for a moment before he spoke, loud enough to hear, but withdrawn like no one had ever heard from him before.
“I was wrong. As a pup, I lied. I swore that Luna killed our brother Calon in an attempt to ensure he retained lead of the litter. The truth is... I’m the one who wanted the lead. Luna did nothing to ensure Calon died. In fact... in fact, Luna tried to save our brother. It was Calon who killed himself trying to get at Luna.”
Rajor looked at me while I was still trying to believe I was hearing this. “I did see it, Luna, all of it. No one noticed me slip away to follow you that day. I thought for sure you’d give me what I needed to beat you. I got more than I hoped for. I used your silence to remove you as a threat. I see now how wrong I was. For so many reasons, I was wrong. I see only one punishment for my crime. I will take your place as a lone wolf. You will take mine, as alpha of this pack. They all knew you as a pup. They’ll follow you, and Estrella. I only pray... I only hope someday you might... you could find it in your heart to...”
He couldn’t say it. I couldn’t believe he was thinking it. I still didn’t believe it was my brother saying these things. As far as anyone could tell, the pack may not have either. Few were moving save for ears and eyes. The pups tried to get answers from their sitters, only getting commands to remain where they stood.
Rajor tried again, but he couldn’t ask. I knew the question, but he couldn’t say it. Finally, Rajor dropped his head and started walking. Tears were there, but not quite flowing, nor was he really crying. Still, I saw a different wolf than the one I grew up with. I saw a broken, defeated wolf. A wolf wounded just like Carlin, and Lonate, and Toltan. Perhaps as wounded as I had once been.
I tried to imagine Rajor out on his own. He’d survive, his pride wouldn’t allow anything less. Living, however... I couldn’t allow it. I’d lived that life, however briefly. To call it life would be an insult. Like Rajor said, I hadn’t been able to kill him before. How could I do it now?
“Hold right there, Rajor,” I said. Rajor looked at me, his ears flat, the one still bleeding. I limped close to him, with Estrella refusing to leave my side. “Where do you think you’re going?”
“To unclaimed territory,” Rajor said. “I will live my life as a lone wolf.”
“Why?”
“As punishment for what I did to you. It’s what I deserve.”
I cringed, my wounds making me go tighter still. There’s that word again. I’d heard it too often in my life, more so because it was always someone else using it. Yet not once did it ever feel right.
Or, maybe they’d been too right. Martol deserved better than I gave her that night. Carlin deserved more respect. Toltan deserved a chance to explain himself. Estrella... well, she deserved a lot more than I had given her. Now here Rajor stood, saying he deserved punishment, but I looked at his ear, at the blood still dripping from his head, and at the wound within him. I saw a wolf far removed from the bully pup I grew up with. This wolf deserved something, but my pain wasn’t it.
“You’re wrong again,” I said. “You don’t deserve that life any more than I do.”
Rajor’s ears went straight in shock, but it was Lonate who spoke his mind. “Luna? How can you say that after all he’s done? Surely he deserves something.”
There’s that word again. “He’s already had it. He knows the pain of losing pack mates. He knows the sting of a thunder stick. He knows the shame of a lie. A life alone will bring no justice.” I stared at Lonate a moment, to make sure he alone understood the hidden message. “He deserves a chance to make right the wrongs he committed. So, Rajor, you will remain. This pack will remain your home as much as mine. It’s up to you to decide your place within it, but I will not have my brother living alone. We’ve fought with each other too long. It’s time we acted like the brothers we were born to be.”
Rajor stared. He cringed, he cried, and he knew better.
“Thank you, Luna,” he fought to say. “I swear to you, things will be different.”
I panted a laugh. I couldn’t leave that there. I just couldn’t. “Well, I’d say you’re off to a great start.”
“Why’s that?” Rajor asked.
“You left Wolfor out of your swear this time.”
A panted laugh shattered the tension among the two packs... among the pack.
I PACED OUTSIDE THE den with a growl not far from my mind. It had been hours, what was wrong? Was there something wrong? I wanted to go in, but I knew I would be run out in an instant, either by Estrella or by my sister Golte. Some consideration. Toltan always said late bloomers were the death of males. Now I know why. Having pups this late in the spring is bad enough. It taking this long for them to emerge was going to kill me.
Someone approached, but I didn’t care to note who. I only cared about the hole in the side of the hill.
“Luna,” Rajor’s voice. “Give it a rest, will you? You’re making me wish I’d joined Jinta.”
Jinta. Not-so-little Folar hadn’t let go of his desire to start their own pack. Or maybe he still hasn’t forgiven me. Not that I could blame him, really. The humans had wounded him, again, this time a solid hit in the leg. He was impossible while his leg healed enough to be usable again. He barely spoke to me, and when he did, it often came with a growl or raised hackles, sometimes both. Given his scars, and the fact that he never directly challenged me, I let it go. To my surprise, not even Rajor disagreed with the decision. Once Folar had recovered, he and Jinta left for unclaimed territory, taking one of the older members with them. Days later, their howls echoed among the trees, announcing the birth of their first litter.
I could only be so lucky. I still didn’t have one. At this rate, I never would. I feared I wouldn’t have a mate either. Wouldn’t that be a bite in the tail? I reclaim my life, my pack, gain a brother, only to lose my mate? Just dismal enough to feel possible.
Rajor growled, flopped his head on his paws, and sighed again. “You keep that up, you’ll dig a new den.”
Less work for Tilhack and whatever female he can charm into—
A yip from the hole froze me. My ears turned to be sure and found only silence. Had I heard wrong? Had I heard right and I didn’t want to know? When Golte came out of the den, my heart stopped while I waited to hear.
She glanced at Rajor, then back to me with an amused ear flick. “One loss, four gained in perfect health, and the mother wants to see you.”
I was inside the den so fast I don’t remember how I got there. I only knew that it was Estrella I found first, alive, alert, and laughing at me. She bent down to lick the closest of four tiny pups still damp from birth. All were sipping at their mother’s milk with the same soft whimpers I had been imagining all day. I didn’t see the fifth pup, but in truth, I didn’t want to see it. The pain of the loss couldn’t gain ground over the joy of the four healthy pups I saw. Not to mention the adult they were drinking from.
“About time you got here,” Estrella said.
I gave a playful growl. Estrella laughed and rubbed her nose on the ground behind her. I took my place there and nuzzled my mate. I leaned in slow, making sure I had permission, and tapped the nose of a pup with my own. The tiny wolf gave a soft whine at the new touch, then reached up to repeat it. The other pups seemed to sense something new, as each one crawled their way toward me.
I tapped my nose to each and every one, getting the same soft whi
ne in reply every time. It sent a thorn to my heart, for I remembered the same sensation from someone no longer there. It couldn’t stop me from thinking how they would remember the touch with the same fondness I still did. Nor did it keep me from absorbing their scent into my soul and blood. I now understood why Carlin instantly recognized his pups. If only you could have seen Lonate, Wise One. You would have been so proud. The thought seemed to trigger a warmth I didn’t bother to question.
“They’re beautiful,” I said. “I’m not sure I deserve them.”
“Of course you do,” Estrella said. “You’re mature, and strong, and honorable, and you’ve suffered enough. I think this is Wolfor’s way of saying it’s time you had some real joy in your life.”
I panted a chuckle at the thought. Maybe it is. Even if it wasn’t, I no longer cared. These were my pups, born from my mate, destined to join my pack. The joy of those thoughts prevented any others from forming.
That is until, from outside, chirping could be heard. “Luna wolf has new tails! Luna wolf has new tails!”
Then the pack spoke as one, “Will you shut up?!”
Estrella and I nearly laughed ourselves to death within the den.
“He hasn’t lost his touch,” Estrella said.
No, he hasn’t. “It wouldn’t be my pack without him.” I leaned in, careful not to worry Estrella too much, and nuzzled the pups again. “May the blessings of Wolfor protect them.”
Estrella began the howl of birth. I was too happy to join in, allowing me to hear the pack echo the call. I laughed again when I noticed Rajor’s voice rang the loudest among them.
Some things never change.
The End
Don’t worry.
The wolves will return... sort of, in Blood of an Alpha.
Coming soon.
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About the Author
Forest Wells is an author with a deep passion for all things wild canine, as well as pro football, hockey, and e-sports. Forest has authored a short story, as well as several poems, in the 2015-2017 editions of the “Wolf Warriors” anthologies, in addition to another short story in the March/April 2019 issue of Kyanite Publishing’s collection of dragon stories.
Forest continues to work on his future stories, including a military sci-fi and a fantasy. He currently lives in his home town of Thermal, California.
Read more at Forest Wells’s site.
