When I got back to my room, I turned on my phone. I had a text from Cam Erickson. I didn’t even know he had my number, but then I remembered that party when Tyler took my phone. Cam asked if we could meet for lunch. I also had a text from my boss at the diner, saying Lucy had called in sick and asking if I could take her shift.
I could use more sleep, but now that I was awake I’d probably just keep thinking about Cam and every detail of our night together. In fact, the scent of him still lingered on my sheets. I didn’t want to think about Cam right now. Everything about him was too confusing. Besides, I could use the extra money an extra shift would bring. Working kept my mind occupied and staying busy was a good way to do that, until I figured out what I was going to do.
By virtue of going to work, I also avoided Maya’s questions. It was a win-win all the way around. But I needed to answer Cam’s text. It was the least I could do. I didn’t want us to part on bad terms.
Can’t. I have to work sorry.
Cam replied: Dinner?
No. I have to study.
The truth was I couldn’t face him. I didn’t know what to do about Cam.
Cam: What time do you get off work?
Oh God. What had I done? I felt all kinds of confusion now. I’d completely ruined our casual wave at one another friendly acquaintanceship and it was all my fault. How could I fix this? I didn’t want to see Cam. I didn’t want to talk to him. I didn’t have to answer his text. I needed time to process my feelings where he was concerned. I stared at the text. My stomach somersaulted just by looking at his name on my phone. My body had been a quivering mess last night. His hands were like magic. He’d made me feel things I hadn’t felt in so long. He made me feel better than good. My heart started pounding when I thought about the way his fingers explored and caressed me. Now I repaid him by ignoring and avoiding him? I was such a schmuck.
I couldn’t think about Cam right now. I took my towel, shampoo, and soap and quickly showered. I got to the diner by 7:00am. Sunday mornings were always crazy busy. I took orders and kept coffee mugs full. I loved the organized chaos of the diner. The tips were great too, so I always had cash on hand.
At 11:00am I finally took a quick break. I pulled out my phone and had texts from Maya and Cam. Maya wanted to know where I was. Cam’s text said: We need to talk.
Those had to be the most ominous four words in the English language when strung together. My face heated and it wasn’t from all the coffee I’d gulped down. Cam wanted to talk. Well, I didn’t.
Didn’t he realize we had a hook-up? Who was I trying to kid? Myself or Cam? There was more between us than a hook-up and I knew it. I just didn’t want to admit it or talk about it. I had to play it cool and give myself time to think.
Maybe I did require some counsel from Maya and Elle on this front. Elle was a little more experienced in the hook-up department than me. How did she handle things afterward? She was the one who’d encouraged me to experience revenge sex. Oh, god. I hadn’t even thought all that through. Tyler would probably find out about Cam and I. But wasn’t that the point? Wasn’t that what I wanted? Would Tyler call me even though he was thousands of miles away? Why did I let Elle convince me?
I was lying to myself. I couldn’t blame Elle. Maybe I originally conspired to have sex with Cam so Tyler would find out, but now it didn’t feel that way at all.
Cam’s teammates from The Loon, Jarrett and Sawyer, must have seen us leave together. I wasn’t sure how hook-ups worked, but I’d think, generally speaking, that the guy was happy not to contact the girl again.
I had a feeling Cam was breaking the hook-up rules.
I didn’t know what to text back to him. No we don’t need to talk didn’t seem appropriate.
One more hour was left on my shift when I spotted him. In the corner booth with Sawyer, Cam had an Alaska State ball cap low on his brow. He looked at the menu while simultaneously talking with Sawyer. My heart raced at an erratic beat. Sweat broke out on my brow and damn if my thighs didn’t involuntarily clench. Clearly, my body and my brain had different reactions to seeing Cam again.
The other Sunday morning waitress, Shirley, gave me a look as if to say, What are you waiting for – he’s in your section. He certainly was. And in so many ways.
I strolled up to his booth, trying to decide if I should act professional or not. I opted for the latter. “What are you doing here?”
He casually set down the one-sheet, laminated menu and gazed up at me from under the bill of his cap. “That’s not a very friendly way to greet your customers. And why do you care if I’m here or not? You made it very clear we’re just friends, right?”
Sawyer cleared his throat. “I’ll have two eggs over easy, hash browns, bacon, and toast.” He slid to the edge of the seat. “I’ll be right back.”
Sawyer brushed past me. I leaned in closer to Cam. “So you really came here to eat?”
“Would there be any other reason?” His tone was short. “This is a restaurant and I believe Sawyer just gave you his order.”
I narrowed my eyes at him. Was he purposely trying to pick a fight by being so sarcastic? Fine. I put on my happy waitress voice and asked, “Are you ready to order? Do you know what you’d like?”
“That’s better. You’re bound to get a better tip now, but I’m not sure you really want to know what I’d like.”
I resisted the urge to shove my foot into his shin and gave him my evil death stare.
“Uh-oh, you’re cutting into your tip percentage again.” His mouth tipped up on one side and he picked up his menu. He pressed his lips together in a flat line, his brows crunched together as though selecting items off a menu took copious amounts of effort. “What do you recommend?” he asked, not taking his gaze away from the menu.
“Everything’s good here,” I said impatiently.
He didn’t lift his eyes from the menu. He moved his finger along the wording and my brain flashed back to last night and remembered where his finger had been. Touching, caressing, and feeling me, everywhere. I also got a whiff of his masculine scent and my body instantly remembered even more than my brain did. Then I stared at his lips, remembering the feel of them on mine. What had I been thinking, sleeping with Cam? My pulse strummed in my ears. Clearly, I hadn’t been thinking, and that was the problem.
Maya and Elle insisted I needed to go out and live a little. We didn’t clarify exactly what that meant, but the insinuation was clear. Have a one-night stand with a stranger. Wasn’t that every girl’s fantasy? Obviously I missed a few chapters in the hook-up manual. I’m not sure sleeping with one of your ex’s teammates was listed in the good time category. One of the most important elements of having a good time was not just enjoying the sex and the spontaneity of the moment, but never seeing the guy again. It was easy to see Cam missed a few chapters in the hook-up manual too.
I didn’t care what Cam was up to, I was determined to be a shining star among hook-ups. I had to let Cam know he was off the hook. I placed my hand on the table, leaned down close to his ear, and said, “You didn’t have to text me, or call, or come to see me. Last night was fantastic, but it was only a hook-up.”
He laced his long sexy fingers around my forearm and gently rubbed the skin on the inside of my wrist. “I never wanted a hook-up. I want to see you come again…and again.”
My heart pounded so loud. I swear he had to hear it. His face was so close to mine, our breath intermingling, I momentarily forgot I was in the diner, at my place of employment, surrounded by people. “Cam, let go of my arm.”
“Go out with me. Let’s have dinner. I’ll pick you up at six,” he said so casually, as if we had this conversation every day.
This wasn’t happening.
My hook-up had come to stalk me.
Great.
Shivers laced up my arm. His touch was so delicate and soft, my knees nearly buckled and I wanted to fall into his lap. The word yes formed in my head.
But thankfully sanity returned. Didn�
�t he know I wasn’t interested in dating? How was I going to make him understand? “No.”
“Why not?”
“This isn’t the time or the place, Cam.” I glanced at my other tables to assure myself I wasn’t neglecting customers before turning back to him. Sunlight streamed across his face. His amber eyes had flecks of green in them. I didn’t notice that last night. In fact, I hadn’t noticed many things about Cam.
He’d been Tyler’s occasional sidekick. Tyler had basked in the limelight of being the starting center and top scorer on the team. Cam was a defenseman. Steady and dependable. The team counted on him. He was the kind of guy who could be relied on, who would never let you down. And here he was asking me to date him. The idea of dating him scared me to death.
Since we’d had sex, everything had changed. I wanted our relationship to go on as it always had – as distant, very casual friends. I would find a way to convince him, I knew best. I wasn’t girlfriend material. At least not anymore. “Do you know what you want to order?”
“I’ll have a Denver omelet with wheat toast.” A determined line etched over his brow and I don’t think it had anything to do with his order.
“Sounds good,” I said, writing his order on my tablet. “Would Sawyer like wheat toast as well? He didn’t say.”
“Yes, he’ll go with wheat. I’ll stay here till your shift is over and then we’ll talk. Okay?”
I nodded. No sense in avoiding him. If I did, he’d find somewhere else to stalk me. “Sure. Fine.”
I ripped the sheet of paper from the order pad, turned toward the kitchen, and passed Sawyer on the way. I would make Cam understand the way things were going to be between us from here on out. Hopefully, I wouldn’t hurt his feelings too badly, but I would make him understand that being friends was all we were ever going to be.
The last hour of my shift went by fast, but the knot in my stomach wouldn’t leave. I didn’t want to hurt Cam, but I was determined to let him down easy and convince him he didn’t want to date me. Besides, for all I knew he was just being polite by asking me out to dinner.
I removed my apron and clocked out. Cam was leaning up against the dumpster out back with his hands shoved into his pockets, his warm breath creating a cloud of fog around him in the icy cold air. “My truck is warmed up. Sit with me.”
I’d be stupid not to take up his offer. It was minus eighteen degrees and my car needed to warm up for at least ten minutes before I could drive it. Of course I could wait inside the diner, but I was determined to get this over with and set Cam straight.
This time Cam opened the driver’s door for me, not the passenger side door. Interesting how only a matter of hours changed how you got into a guy’s vehicle. The cab’s toasty interior warmed my cheeks. The smell of the truck was so Cam. A woodsy masculine scent that reminded me of our night together. I slid over to the passenger side and huddled against the door. Cam climbed in after me. If he noticed how I’d strategically changed where I sat from last night to today, he didn’t say.
I was about to comment about the cold weather to get our conversation started, but Cam didn’t waste any time. “I know you felt something between us and I know you’re running.”
The truth of his words stung, but I wasn’t admitting anything. “Last night was a mistake.” Oh, I’d done so well with the letting him down easy part. Bravo. “I like you Cam, I like you a lot. But I shouldn’t have…or I should have. I just want us to be friends, er…acquaintances, like we were before, but now I feel awkward around you.”
He blew out a breath. “I wish you didn’t feel awkward.”
I stared straight ahead. I was such a coward. I didn’t even look at him. But one thing I appreciated was he didn’t say I shouldn’t feel awkward. If there was one thing I wish I could erase from my mind, it was Tyler always telling me how I should feel. I feel how I feel, and someone telling me how I should feel made me insane.
Maybe awkward wasn’t the right word, but I couldn’t say what my body was wanting from him. I looked at his hands. Those hands had made me feel things, ways, I’d never felt before. Maybe I felt more embarrassed than awkward.
Cam slid closer to me. His hand reached out to my chin and slowly moved me to face him. “But let’s get one thing straight – our being together last night wasn’t a mistake.”
I swallowed hard. What else should I call it, if not a mistake? I didn’t want to hurt Cam. If he hung around me, I knew deep down I’d hurt him. Even last night when I’d told him we were just friends, I knew it was my way of putting distance between us.
The invisible wall I’d erected was reinforced with mortar and concrete, all compliments of Tyler. I was ruined for a relationship with anyone else. I’d become a cynic. I was never this way before. But rather than hide from my new cynic-self, why not embrace the new me? I had to convince Cam to run like hell. I was bad news. My whole theory of letting him down easy quickly dissipated. Something more heavy-handed was required. I opened my mouth to do just that, but he spoke again.
“It’s just one date, Haylie. It’s just dinner. A place to start. Can’t we work on getting the awkwardness or whatever it is between us out, and get to a place where we can feel more comfortable?” The words held such sincerity. His voice was soft and shy, and yet confident at the same time, like he knew exactly what he was doing.
I couldn’t help but be momentarily taken with the idea of going out with him, of letting him be my safe haven, just like last night. No wonder I had fallen into his arms so easily.
“Cam, it hasn’t been that long since things ended with Tyler, and I’m not ready to –”
“Stop. Wait a minute. Can we not talk about Tyler? I thought we established that last night.” His hands fisted together and he squeezed.
“Okay, but Cam, Tyler was a big part of my life for –”
“You want to talk about Tyler? Fine. Let’s do that.” Anger laced his every word and the volume was no longer quiet. “He treated you like shit. You deserve better than a tool like him.”
“But –”
“As stupid as it sounds, hockey has so many analogies for life. You’re like a goalie, and Tyler always took shots at you. Puck after puck and I couldn’t stop him.”
Hockey. God, I was so sick of hockey. I wanted to cover my ears, stomp my feet, and not hear another word of it. “Listen Cam, you’ve interrupted me twice. Let me speak, would you?”
“Yes, sorry. Go ahead.” He shook his head absently.
I turned to face him squarely. “I don’t want to date you. Last night was a mistake. I’m very sorry. I wanted to keep a friendly relationship with you, but maybe we need to reassess things. But this is what I want – I just want to be friends.” I nearly choked on the words. I clenched my teeth together determined to not let my gaze waver from his.
His gaze narrowed slightly. “I want to be more than friends.” His Adam’s apple moved up and down. Lines of tension etched across his brow. “And I think you do too, but aren’t willing to admit it.”
I couldn’t show the least bit of hesitation. I couldn’t let him see my uncertainty. “There appears to be no middle ground here. I guess the battle lines have been drawn. Not sure how you’d say that in the hockey lingo you’re so fond of.”
He didn’t even blink. “The puck has dropped, but the game is far from over.”
I gave him only a lift of my chin before reaching for the door handle. I didn’t trust any words I might say. Opening the door, I stepped out into the bitter cold. I gave him one last glance before slamming the door shut.
It had been four days without a word from Cam. What had I expected? For him to come chasing after me? I guess a small part of me found the idea of that romantic. Guilt gnawed at me for telling him our night together had been a mistake, but I reassured myself that this was the right thing. Cam was too sweet of a guy to be with a cynic like me. Besides, I was enjoying my newly acquired single life, compliments of Tyler the asshat.
Now I was free to meet new peo
ple and heck, even flirt with other cute guys if I wanted to. I reminded myself that being single was a great thing to be. The spring semester had been underway for a couple weeks and no one had piqued my interest in any of my classes, but Maya and Elle were more than willing to set me up if I wanted.
In my anatomy and physiology lab, the instructor told us to partner up with someone to share a microscope. My instinct was to team up with another girl, but I decided to make myself branch out and keep with my ideas of a new me intact. I grabbed the smartest looking guy I saw to be my partner. He didn’t seem to mind.
He wore glasses. Such a cliché to assume he was smart just because of the glasses, but stereotypes were hard to ignore. I sure didn’t go out of my way to partner up with the hockey player sitting in the next aisle over.
“Hi, what’s your name?” I asked geeky guy.
“Seth.”
“Nice to meet you, Seth.” He reminded me of a shorter version of Sheldon Cooper. His hair was a perfect bowl cut, which I decided was another sign he was smart. Now if he was as smart as Sheldon, I’d be set. He could help me in this class, because memorizing every single muscle in the human body was no small task. So I started the conversation with the typical break the ice college question. “What’s your major?”
“Chemistry.”
That figured. He looked like a chemistry major. However that was supposed to look. I guess I’d grown used to General Studies being the major of choice amongst most of the hockey team. Either that, or Business Administration. What was it about hockey players and those majors? And what was it about me that had my thoughts thinking about them the second I met a new guy? I suppose it was because I had dated hockey players in high school even before Tyler and I met our senior year. I guess it had to do with hanging out at the rinks with my brothers watching their games while growing up, but I was determined not to play myself, even if I did have the natural skill for it. I learned how to skate on a lake in Minnesota right alongside my brothers and I was encouraged to play, but I wanted to forge my own path away from what my brothers were doing. I gravitated toward becoming a tomboy, but my soul longed for something more.
Right Kind of Mistake Page 4
