Okay, great, so my hockey skate on ice reminded him of a children’s book. I was sure he must have a point, so I patiently waited.
His gaze left the painting to look at me. “Have you ever considered writing picture books?”
I wrote all kinds of fiction and non-fiction, but admittedly, I’d never tried my hand at picture book writing. I shook my head. “No, I’m afraid not.”
“Well, it was just a thought. You can always send out your portfolio to picture book agents, but you’d have a lot of competition. However, if you were an illustrator and a writer, well, then you’d have something a little more unusual. Agents want clients who write and illustrate. Both, not just one or the other.”
I had never considered picture books. I don’t know why. Many picture books had beautiful illustrations, in fact, most of them did. I hated to sound so uneducated on the subject, but I asked anyway. “What kind of agents?”
“Literary agents. They represent authors and illustrators. My wife writes picture books and chapter books. She’s often said I should illustrate for her, but her publisher makes that decision. She’s mentioned how much her agent would like it if she illustrated too.”
“I had no idea your wife was an author.” I was amazed.
He shrugged. “It never came up.”
“No, I guess not. I’m going to give this some thought,” I told him. “I can’t believe I’ve never considered something like this. A way to combine my love of art and writing. I just never thought.”
“We’ve got plenty of time. You can be working on building your picture book portfolio right now, using assignments from class.”
I was completely stunned. Picture book portfolio? What a concept. Why had I never thought of it? “Thank you, Mr. Merritt, thank you very much.”
I went back to my dorm with renewed determination in my step. I had to work the lunch shift at the diner, otherwise I would have gone straight to the library to check out a bunch of picture books.
I worked my four hour shift at the diner completely distracted with thoughts of building a portfolio. I had never gotten any encouragement to pursue my art, so I’d always put it in the back of my mind as simply a hobby. But whether I got encouragement or not, I shouldn’t let that determine my fate. My brothers got all the encouragement in the world from my parents to live their dreams playing hockey, but I didn’t get any of that. I supposed I got accolades for my good grades. My Dad insisted I should be an architect because my drawings of buildings were so good. Why could he never see it was the drawing that I loved, not the buildings?
The afternoon lunch rush was pretty nonexistent. I guess people didn’t pick Hump Day as a go-out-to-lunch day. I could probably leave my shift early since it was so slow, then I could get to the library faster. Then, from my peripheral vision, I saw movement and the front door’s bells jangled. I glanced up and locked eyes with Cam.
God, he was so cute. He rubbed his hands together and stomped the snow off his boots in the arctic entryway. He took a seat in my section and I immediately walked to his table. “Hi, Cam.”
“Haylie.” He gave me a grin to die for. “How are you?”
“I’m great. And you?”
“Good.”
“You haven’t had any recording companies try to sign you under their label yet, have you?” I chided.
He actually looked sheepish and shook his head. “No. I’d rather sign an NHL contract.”
A pang of regret skipped across my heart. Tyler had signed with an NHL team and got a nice signing bonus too. It was as if Cam wanted the life Tyler had, but not every kid who played hockey could go into the NHL. It just didn’t work that way. “Of course you would.”
“Never mind that. Say, I was wondering, we haven’t decided where we’re going on Saturday.”
“No, I guess we haven’t. Where should we go?”
“I was thinking we could go to the Ice Art Championships if you’d like. They’re just starting to work on the blocks, but I figured you’d like to see them in action – you know, being carved.”
“Of course I would love that. I didn’t know they allowed the public in before they officially opened.”
“Oh yeah, they do.” He fiddled with the menu. “I did my research.”
Of course he did. I was beginning to think Cam was a little too perfect. He had to have an imperfection somewhere. I just hadn’t found it yet.
The bells from the front door sounded again. I recognized the two hockey players, but didn’t know them. They sat in Lucy’s section, not mine. Good.
They gave a nod to Cam and eyed me with scrutiny as they walked past. Then they laughed.
I narrowed my eyes at Cam. “They’re talking about me.”
“Why would you think that?”
“I’m not stupid, Cam. They saw me with Tyler last semester, and now they see me with you. They probably think I’m playing musical chairs with hockey players and it’s their turn next.”
“They’re freshmen, they don’t know anything,” he said dismissively.
“They know what they’ve heard. They know what they see.” I had a sick feeling in my stomach and all the reasons I didn’t want to be with Cam as anything more than a friend came crashing back. “Do you know what you want?”
“Yes. I want you to give me a chance. Give us a chance.”
“I’m talking about the menu.” I pulled out my pad of paper from my apron pocket. “Food. What do you want to eat?”
“Oh, I’ll have the French dip with a side salad.”
“What kind of dressing?”
“Ranch. Listen, don’t let them bother you.”
“Cam, don’t tell me how to feel. It does bother me that I know they are talking about me, assuming they are next in line.”
“Knock it off,” Cam said in a clipped tone.
“I’ll just tell them to take a number.”
“Haylie, stop. You’re being ultra-sensitive about this.”
“And your point is?” I glanced around the diner, trying not to be so obvious about eyeing the freshman players.
“My point is, whether they’re talking about you, or whether they aren’t, it doesn’t matter.” He reached out and clasped my hand. “Please just look at me. What matters is you and me. Nothing else.”
“You’re a little naïve aren’t you? We don’t live in a box. It isn’t just you and me.”
Cam heaved a big sigh. I could see the wheels of his brain turning, then one side of his sexy mouth curled up. “I could take them out, you know.”
“Take them out?” I swung around to eye the freshman again.
“Yeah, you know, rough them up for ya. Give them an injury or two.”
A smile crept its way across my face. “A broken wrist wouldn’t be bad. Or a broken leg, even better.”
Cam narrowed his eyes and folded his hands neatly on the table. “It could be arranged. I’ll have my people call your people.”
I rolled my eyes. “Sure thing. You do that.” I stuck my pencil back in my pocket. “Let me put your order in. Just water to drink?”
“Yes,” he said, then winked at me.
I strode across the diner to turn in his order. And realized I was grinning. Those freshman players walking in the door had me so stressed, then with only a few words, Cam made me smile. How did he do that?
I leaned up against the counter and called out his order. I turned to sneak a peek at him. He gave me a thumbs up, gestured his hand like he was talking on the phone, and mouthed calling my people. The guy was insane. Or insanely genius. I wasn’t sure which.
I was glad Lucy waited on the freshman. Yes, I thought the worst of them, but quite frankly, hockey players earned their reputations. They were players in the more literal sense when dating women. I’m sure rock stars in other parts of the country were no different. And here I was allowing myself to date another one from their stable.
I met up with Elle for lunch on Friday. We sat together in the university cafeteria.
S
he asked, “So, you ready for your big date tomorrow?”
“Um, yeah, I guess. Just trying to figure out a way to convince Cam that I can only handle being friends right now, but he seems determined.”
Elle cleared her throat. “Kinda hard to resist a guy who sings like that and well, you know, looks like that, and I don’t see what there is to convince him of.”
I shrugged and took a bite of my sandwich.
She took a sip of her soda through her straw, then gave me a counselor-type, I-know-what’s-best-for-you look. “Just go on being friendly friends of friends, like always, with a little sex on the side.”
“Huh?” I set down my sandwich and stared at her. Why should I be surprised when Elle was so…so open about sex.
“No, really.” She flipped her long blond hair over her shoulder. “Cam wants to be more than friends, you want to be just friends. Can’t you find a middle ground? Something along the lines of…friends with benefits.”
“Are you sure counseling isn’t your major? Why haven’t I thought of that?”
“Maybe you just haven’t learned the art of compromise.”
“I learned it with Tyler just fine. I compromised everything.”
“Come on.” She eyed me sympathetically. “Don’t be so hard on yourself. It’s perfectly understandable that you aren’t ready to be in another serious relationship.”
“He doesn’t seem to understand.” I gave her a dramatic eye roll. “I’m not girlfriend material. Doesn’t he see that?”
“Listen. The way I see it is you’ve got two options. One, show him you’d be a lousy girlfriend by being a bitch to him. Which I can attest isn’t hard to do, but what does that gain you, other than losing a friend? I’d go with option two: show him how beneficial it can be to have you as a friend, but with side benefits.”
Elle made it sound so simple. “I like option two. I like it a lot. How’d you get to be so smart?”
“Oh, you know, I’ve been around the block.” She absently stabbed at her salad.
“I have the feeling you might have a friend with benefits that I’m unaware of.” I raised my eyebrow in question, hoping she’d give me a bit more information.
“In the past, yes, but nothing notable lately.” After stabbing a forkful of lettuce, she eyed me seriously. “But just remember, Cam is completely eligible. More than eligible to have a full-time girlfriend. He’s been waiting for you, but maybe he won’t wait forever. You have to be prepared for that.”
“Waited for me?” This conversation had Maya written all over it. “He hasn’t waited for me. I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
Elle scrutinized me with an impatient look. “Don’t act so naïve, Haylie. There’s no way you haven’t noticed the way he’s been looking at you over the past couple years.”
“Looked at me how?” I was asking the question, but I was also thinking back to times when I’d noticed Cam looking at me. I also noticed him. And that’s the reason I had always avoided him. I had a boyfriend.
“Oh, stop it. With longing in his eyes, that’s how. How he’d go out and hang the moon if you wanted him to, or slay a few dragons, or whatever it is guys do who are crazy for a girl.”
“That’s way too much pressure. I don’t want that kind of adoration. If, in fact, that is what Cam feels for me. I don’t want to break his heart. I already feel bad for how I’ve let things get between us. What was I thinking when I slept with him?”
Elle gave me a knowing look, like she’d been there, done that. “You weren’t thinking and that’s okay.”
“But I should have been thinking.”
“Do you regret it?”
“I regret hurting him, but no, I can’t say I regret having sex with him.” My face heated remembering just how hot the sex was. I couldn’t look at Elle. She might see right through me.
“I don’t think you hurt him,” Elle said. “He’s tougher than you’re giving him credit for.”
“Maybe.” I shrugged.
“So your job is to convince him how being friends with benefits will benefit him.”
“Sure thing.” I gave her a thumbs up gesture.
“Do you need any coaching?”
“Ha ha. Funny.”
“See, there’s some of the Haylie I know and love.”
“It just sounds so callous, you know? I’m going to seduce him into sleeping with me, but make it clear I want nothing more than his body.”
Elle laughed. “That does sound callous when you say it like that.” She leaned in across the table closer to me. “But seriously, what guy wouldn’t kill for that kind of relationship?”
“But Cam isn’t necessarily a normal guy in that way.”
“Maybe, but I’m sure you can use your persuasive powers to convince him. Where are you guys going tomorrow anyway? Did you decide?”
“Yes, we’re going to the ice park.”
Elle nodded. “Nice. And you know there’s a motel right next to the ice park, right? You could conveniently have a room booked there.”
If that wasn’t giving Cam an engraved invitation for sex, I didn’t know what was. Butterflies kicked in my stomach at the thought. Before I had absently asked him to take me home, but now I’d completely changed and was planning to have sex with him. Is this what I’d become? “But that’s so planned…so devious sounding.”
“You have got to change your frame of mind on this. Do you want him to be your friend or not? He wants to be more than friends – fine, so do you.”
“You’re right. I’m making more out of this than it needs to be.” I was determined to adopt Elle’s casual attitude. “I’m going to book that hotel room and worst case scenario I can sleep in, watch cable TV, and order room service for myself.”
“That’s the spirit.” She punched the air with her fist.
“Thank you. I feel better now. It’s about compromise. He wants one thing, I want another, and we can hopefully find a compromise in the middle.”
“That’s exactly right.” She took a few more bites of her salad. “Listen, I’ve got to get to class. Get that hotel booked, all right?”
“I’m on it.” I watched her leave and was grateful I had someone to talk to about this. Elle had another perspective that I hadn’t considered. I knew Maya just thought I was nuts to not want to hook up with Cam permanently, but she didn’t understand, not the way Elle did. Elle dated a lot of guys, Maya not so much. I was somewhere in the middle. The loyal, devoted girlfriend I’d been for the past three years put me in another category. The three of us were really different from one another in our views of relationships and men, but we were bonded together by friendship. We’d met at freshman orientation and had been pretty much inseparable ever since. We supported each other and encouraged one another. I’d been through so much losing Tyler, but I needed to remember that I had so much in regards to my friends, and now with new possibilities with my art and writing. Things were looking up for me.
I had officially ventured into a new life of living on the wild side. I’d not only booked the hotel room, as Elle had suggested, but I’d actually stocked the mini-fridge with strawberries, pound cake, chocolate syrup, and whipped cream.
I’d coached myself through my doubts by telling myself the treats were for me. If I ended up spending the night alone in the hotel room, I’d need the cake with trimmings as comfort food.
I’d let Elle’s idea of “friends with benefits” really take hold. What guy in their right mind would turn down such a plan? Not many, but most guys weren’t like Cam. He didn’t sleep around. He’d only had a few girlfriends. None of them lasted more than a few months, but he was completely loyal to them during that time. His love life wasn’t my business, but now, suddenly, Cam was my business. I wanted to sleep with him again. I wanted to feel his hands touching me. I wanted to explore every inch of him.
In the dorm, sex had been a quick decision with little forethought. This time, I anticipated being with Cam. I planned it. I wanted to be
with him again. If he turned me down, I’d be crushed.
Cam had insisted we keep things simple, just an outing at the ice park. He knew I loved art, so the choice was very thoughtful of him. I was surprised when he didn’t mention dinner, but that was fine. He said he’d pick me up at eight. I kept looking at the clock. It read 7:45pm.
I’d carefully chosen a pink bra and matching panties. I glanced in the mirror to check my hair. I brushed my teeth. I would brush them again, but I’d already taken my overnight bag to the hotel. The weather had warmed up to minus ten degrees, but it was still too cold to spend more than an hour walking through the ice park.
I looked in the mirror again. “Are you really going through with this?” I asked myself.
Since when had I become a seductress? My evil plan consisted of some food and a corny line like, “Hey, Cam, I just happen to book a hotel room. Would you like to come up for a nightcap?”
I sounded so pathetic. So not like a seductress. I didn’t pack anything to drink other than water and a couple sodas. What kind of nightcap was I thinking? The coffee maker provided by the hotel was about as fancy as we were going to get for drinks.
I brushed my hair again, only managing to put more static electricity in it, before the knock sounded on my door.
My stomach did a complete somersault. God, I was so nervous. Stop, I told myself. It’s just Cam, and you have nothing to be nervous about.
I pulled on the door’s handle to see Cam standing large and bigger than life in my door frame. His cropped brown hair, his amber eyes, his broad shoulders, the sight of him had my nerves crackling. He eyed me with intensity and his sexy smile was so genuine. He said, “Hello.”
“Hello to you,” I replied. My face flushed, like he could somehow read my thoughts. Well, hello Cam – the guy I want to sleep with again – the guy who will hopefully be my friend with benefits.
“Can I come in?” he asked.
“Oh, sure.” What an idiot. Just stand there ogling him, why don’t you.
I held the door open and he stepped inside. “I wanted to apologize.”
“For what?” I couldn’t think of any reason Cam had to be sorry.
Right Kind of Mistake Page 9
