I could do this.
I awoke in the morning to nothing but tangled sheets beside me. I sat up and peered toward the bathroom door, hoping to see light, but the room was completely dark. Disappointment engulfed me. He’d left without saying goodbye.
I glanced at the digital clock beside me. It was 8:12am. I should roll over and go back to sleep. I pulled the blankets to cover my shoulders and moved to lie on my side. My inner thighs ached. Cam and I had moved to the Jacuzzi tub and back to the bed last night. I had assumed he would stay all night, but we hadn’t made any plans either way.
I re-adjusted my pillow, hoping to get comfortable, but without Cam’s warmth, a shiver erupted across my skin. When had he left, and better yet, why did it matter? This was supposed to be our first time being friends with benefits. Friends didn’t owe each other explanations, but they still said goodbye to each other.
This time of year the sun wouldn’t rise for a couple hours. Light from the parking lot street lamps and passing traffic streamed across the room through slits in the curtains. I closed my eyes and willed myself to go back to sleep, but sleep wouldn’t come. I kept thinking about Cam’s hard body spooned against mine. As we drifted off to sleep we’d talked about hockey and I shared with him about my plans to build a portfolio of children’s illustrations with Mr. Merritt’s encouragement. Cam had lots of questions for me, including which medium I’d be using. An excellent question and I hadn’t decided for sure, but I was leaning toward watercolors.
He held me close when we’d fallen asleep. I had drifted off thinking about how Cam was such a good friend to me. He seemed genuinely concerned about me and wanted to know my plans for the future.
Tyler had been all about his own plans. I wondered if Cam would ever cheat on a girlfriend like Tyler had done to me. I knew my thoughts were jaded, but how else could I protect myself from feeling so much pain? Tyler’s betrayal had made me into another person, a non-trusting person. A person I didn’t like.
No matter what I tried, sleep was not happening. I should get up and see which football games were being televised. Maybe the Vikings were playing. Then at least I knew my brothers were watching and in a small sense I could feel like I was closer to home. But first, I’d hop in the shower.
The sharp spray of hot water felt good on my thighs and the hotel’s spacious bathroom was a nice change from the cramped quarters of the dorms. I had just rinsed the shampoo from my hair when I heard a knock. I flinched, not expecting the sudden noise.
“I got us some coffee and bagels. I hope that’s okay?” Cam’s voice shouted through the closed bathroom door.
Stunned, I could only stare through the foggy glass walls. Puffs of steam filled the bathroom. My pulse raced. I wasn’t sure if it was from him scaring me half to death or because I was completely thrilled that he had come back. He didn’t leave without saying goodbye. I hadn’t even considered that he only stepped out for a minute with an intention to return. That was how jaded I’d become, always expecting the worst.
I finally found my voice. “Sounds great. I’ll be out in a minute.”
I had to remember that this was Cam. I’d let bad experiences with Tyler creep into my thinking, but I had to keep reminding myself that Cam wasn’t Tyler. He wasn’t even close. Cam wasn’t my boyfriend. There were no commitments between us, no promises to keep. I had no need to worry about why he stayed or didn’t stay in the hotel room with me, but my thoughts kept drifting to our relationship. Or lack thereof.
I finished rinsing my hair, dried off, and donned my fluffy pink robe. I ran a comb through my hair and my hands shook. What was wrong with me? I was acting like a nervous high school girl about to meet a boy for a first date. This was Cam, I reminded myself. There was no reason to be nervous.
I stepped out of the bathroom not sure what to expect. Cam and I had never been in this situation before – the morning after and the awkwardness that followed. Well, that wasn’t completely true. After we’d slept together the last time, I’d avoided him until he tracked me down at the diner.
He sat on one of the wingback chairs and put cream cheese on a bagel, looking as handsome as ever. He didn’t even have bedhead. I guess it helped when his hair was so short. “I wasn’t sure what kind of bagels you liked, so I got a variety. And I got you a soy cappuccino.”
Of course he had. The few times we’d gone out for coffee in a group, Cam had apparently paid attention. He knew what I had ordered. I always found it amazing when Tyler and I would go out and he’d ask me what I wanted. My answer was always the same – soy cappuccino.
Conflicting emotions stirred inside me as I watched Cam. Thoughtful, sweet, considerate, Cam. He was a conundrum of different things. On the ice he was a monster, checking his opponents, robbing them of goals, but he was also grace and finesse. He outsmarted the opposing team by reading their next move before they made it. He protected his goalie by taking shots and sacrificing his body.
But now, Cam was also the guy I had amazing sex with last night, and remembering made my insides tingle with awareness. He held the plastic knife mid-air above his bagel and gazed at me. “What? You’re thinking, I can tell.”
I let out a sigh and smiled. “Yes, I was.” I sat in the other chair adjacent to him and reached for my cappuccino on the glass coffee table. “I was thinking I don’t know what to make of you.”
“I’ll tell you what you should make of me,” he said matter-of-factly.
I searched through the brown paper bag and settled on a sesame bagel. “Oh, yeah?”
He took a bite of bagel and nodded his head.
I sliced my bagel with one of the plastic knives and glanced up at him. “Thanks for getting breakfast.”
“You’re welcome.”
Another great thing about Cam to add to the list – he didn’t pull any punches, wasn’t trying to impress, just a simple you’re welcome.
“So where were we?” He raised a brow before drinking more of his coffee. “I was going to tell you what you should make of me.”
A smile crept across my cheeks. I spread cream cheese to distract myself and acted uninterested in hearing his answer.
He leaned across the arm rests of both our chairs, strategically placing himself inside the confines of my personal bubble of space. “You should date me.”
I kept smoothing the cream cheese across my bagel when no more spreading was needed, while heat warmed my neck. I refused to make eye contact with him because I knew if I did I might cave. Hopefully, he wasn’t paying attention to the horrible job I was doing with the cream cheese. My shaking hands would be a clear giveaway that I was faltering in my conviction to keep Cam on friends-only terms. “I did date you, just as I said I would. Last night. Remember?”
I risked taking a peek at him and bit into my bagel.
He leaned back in his chair, crossed his arms over his broad chest, and rubbed his stubble covered chin. “True, but you need to date me again, on an ongoing, permanent basis.”
I raised an eyebrow. I shouldn’t be surprised by his arrogance. I’d never met a hockey player who wasn’t filled to the brim with a healthy ego. But to the credit of college athletes in general, at this level, they had to have self-confidence. I took another swallow of my cappuccino and bite of bagel. I elected to not say anything more just yet, since I knew I was on the edge of a precipice I might never come back from.
His amber eyes with flecks of green locked onto me and I couldn’t look away. Cam said, “We had a great time at the ice park last night. We’re sexually compatible. I’m cute. And I brought you breakfast in bed.”
I laughed and subsequently choked on my food.
“I can also inflict the Heimlich maneuver and save your life if needed.”
I tried not to laugh again, but didn’t succeed. “I’m not sure I want you to inflict anything on me.”
“Not inflict. You knew what I meant.” He placed both elbows on his knees and leaned forward. “See, we’re so compatible, I know you knew what I meant.”
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br /> I sipped my coffee, crossed my legs, and gave a small nod. “That’s quite a sales pitch. And yes, you are cute.”
He gave me a brilliant smile, complete with sparkling white teeth. “Oh, and I have this amazing musical talent – I sing.”
Cam’s phone chimed, indicating he had a text message.
He glanced at it, but didn’t pick it up. “How’s my sales pitch working?”
I immediately wanted to melt into him, instead of my chair. I wanted to grab on to what he was offering, but I wasn’t sure I could risk it. I hated this indecision. I hated being sure of something and then doubting myself. Maybe this was why I didn’t pledge myself to either political party. I saw benefits in both. “Cam, I’m just not –”
Cam’s phone chimed again.
“Wait a second.” He looked at his phone. “Oh, it’s just a text from Rachel.” He looked up at me again and put the phone down. “Sorry.” He crossed his arms. “What was it you were saying?”
“Rachel? The skinny girl from the Loon?”
“She’s not that skinny.” He retrieved his coffee and swallowed a gulp.
I would be lying to myself if I didn’t admit I was jealous. If I didn’t date him, there were plenty of other girls lined up to take my place. The idea of him being with someone else, kissing someone else, bringing bagels to someone else killed me, but I could still walk away. I wasn’t completely emotionally invested. Not yet. At least, I didn’t think so.
“Listen.” Cam took my hand in his. “I know you’re scared.”
How could he know that? It was as if he knew exactly what I was thinking. We probably were just as compatible as he claimed, but he was a hockey player and he might cheat on me too. How could I survive humiliation like that again?
The heat from his hand sent electric currents up my arm, making mush of my brain. “You have no idea.”
“Oh, I think I have a small idea. You don’t trust me.”
“It’s not you, it’s just –”
“Sure it’s me, but I can take it. Can’t we just try?”
“I thought we were going to try being friends with benefits?”
“I’m asking if you’ll be with me. No labels…just us.”
My heart thudded so hard in my ears I swear he must have heard the noise. I tried to think of an excuse, an easy way to retreat, but I knew he was right. I knew I couldn’t do the friends with benefits deal. It wasn’t in my heart to be with a man and keep my emotions completely separate, and sex as merely a physical act. I knew I had real feelings for Cam. I honestly hadn’t even known they existed until he showed me. Until he made me believe.
His phone chimed again.
I swallowed hard against the knot in my throat.
His eyes bore into me, waiting for my answer.
I could give us a chance at something more, or I could let him go.
Other girls were waiting for a chance with someone like Cam.
I pictured myself with a canvas before me in the art studio. Some colors had already been cast, but I had control, I could say no. I could keep painting or I could leave.
But I’d never been the type to run.
No book is ever written alone and this is certainly the case with Right Kind of Mistake.
Without Tina Eden Canon, this book never would have been completed. New Adult romance was a new genre for me, so I didn’t feel sure I had the voice for it. I sent messy first draft scenes to Tina as I wrote them. Bless her for reading them! She kept encouraging me and insisted I send her more. So I did.
When I sent the manuscript to Judith Graves at Leap Books, she immediately responded, saying she was swept up in the emotional push/pull between Haylie and Cam, and offered me a contract. I was thrilled! And little did I know about our mutual love of hockey!
There is something so special and memorable about early adulthood, and maybe that is why I’m drawn to writing about that time in life when mistakes feel so monumental. In the end, not all mistakes turn out bad, and maybe some mistakes are meant to happen.
Thank you to Judith—the most awesome and encouraging of editors! Thank you to Laura for your edits and suggestions. Thank you to Erica for your publicity work and super cool graphics.
Thank you beta readers Amy Voigt and Beckie Sweat for reading my first draft and saying you loved it!
Thank you to my critique partners, Tina, Melinda, Ally, Alison, and Jen. I simply couldn’t write without you.
m.fisher.photography
Rebecca Thomas has a love-hate relationship with Alaska, where she lives with her husband and two sons. When she’s not reading, writing, or playing board games, she’s cheering for her sons at their hockey games. A reluctant reader as a child, Rebecca didn’t become interested in books until her teen years when she discovered historical romance. Now she loves all sub-genres of romance and can’t decide which one is her favorite.
Rebecca earned a bachelor’s degree in Education from the University of Alaska and she was employed in the airline industry for several years before working in her current position as a program manager in higher education.
Thank you for purchasing this Leap Books, LLC publication. For other exciting titles, please visit our website at www.leapbks.net.
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