“I understand,” the two words softly said, were full of meaning. Dr. Volk discretely looked at the clock positioned beside Alistair. Their time was up. But he could not let the session end that way. “You resent things so fiercely because you were not capable of taking care of her as your family always took care of you. And, Heather was the epitome of carelessness. She didn’t take care of you or of your daughter. I would go further and say that she didn’t take care of herself. And you are destroying yourself because you know, deep inside, unconsciously, that you are not omnipotent.”
Alistair felt as if Dr. Volk had slapped him. He breathed deep and clenched his fists, trying to control his anger.
“Stop, Alistair. Don’t always be so in control. This is tiring and damaging. Here is the right place to vent all your anger and frustrations.” Dr. Volk waited but Alistair didn’t say a word. “You lost all the women of your life in a short period of time. Your wife, your daughter, and then your mother. People confuse life and death. Life comprises sadness, pain, and death. No one can escape those, and surrendering to those feelings helps healing. The depression—”
“You want me to succumb to depression as my mother did?” Alistair asked, incredulous. “What good did that do for her? Nae. I’m going to fight against all those debilitating feelings.”
“I’m not suggesting you become depressed and lose all your strength. Appropriate bereavement is normal, and even healthy, and it will lessen and pass in time, while major depression may not, and requires treatment. Alistair, unresolved grief is worse than the grief itself. Since Nathalie’s death, have you been living a normal, happy, and healthy life? You told me that you lost the ability to trust others, that you avoided relationships and felt emotionally numb. Do you still feel like this?”
For many seconds, Alistair stayed silent, revisiting the last months. When he answered, his voice was full of awe. “Nae. She came and changed everything.” He closed his eyes and whispered, “As if by magic, Sophia changed everything.”
“Magic.” Dr. Volk smiled. “If you want to call trusting, caring and feeling, magic, so be it.” The doctor leaned in Alistair’s direction. “Because from what you told me, Sophia isn’t afraid of trusting, caring and feeling. I guess she is just organizing her life to show herself fully to you. Because one cannot invite the other to share one’s life if one is not whole. This, Alistair, is her magic. Unfortunately, our time is over. I have an…assignment for you. I want you to reflect on how you feel now that you are in a steady relationship. What did Sophia do to change your feelings? What about her makes you feel so right? There’s a poem I like very much. Renascence by Edna St. Vincent Millay. I’ll send it to you by email and I want you to read it and tell me your impressions. We will talk about it on Thursday.”
The City of London Bank Headquarters
10:17 a.m.
Davidoff, good morning. How may I help you?” Alistair’s deep voice sounded tired and despondent even for himself.
“What have you done to her?” asked Edward, his voice tinged with anger.
What? “I…” he halted, and looked astonished at his brother, who raised an eyebrow. He put the call on speaker. “I’ve done nothing. Where is she?”
“She is gone. Nobody knows where she is. She left you a letter,” a heavy breath was exhaled.
“She is…gone,” he repeated in a murmur, frowning. Gone…where? Why?
Alistair strode down the marble corridor that led to the garage like a man possessed. What Edward had just said still echoed in his mind. He remembered Sophia’s civil and distant manner. I am such a fool! It’s all my fault. I should have known she would uncover my darkness. One way or another.
They entered the car and Alistair informed Garrick, “Leibowitz Oil Building, please. I’m in a hurry.” Why didn’t she call me? Why leave a written message? And with Davidoff, for Christ’s sake? Alistair shoved his sunglasses on his face, impatiently. She is afraid of you, you idiot!
Alistair felt Tavish’s hand on his shoulder. He wanted to snarl but it was no use taking out his confused feelings on his brother.
“Calm down, Alistair Connor. You know he’s partially right.”
He fisted his hands trying to control his jealousy and his rage and turned to look at Tavish. “He thinks too much of himself. He shouldn’t have opened her letter to me. To me! He has feelings for her, Tavish Uilleam.”
“Who doesn’t like Sophia? She’s sugar-coated. And he’s known her for a long time.”
“He has other interests at stake. She gave him five percent of Leibowitz Oil.” He thinned his lips.
“Don’t underestimate Sophia’s ensnaring capacity. He must be worried sick about her. I am. She’s just remembered what happened to her. Months of horror. Can you imagine how confused her mind is right now? You shouldn’t have proposed on Sunday,” Tavish shook his head, “it was tactless of you.”
Alistair punched his fist on the leather car seat. “Fuck! Do you think that’s why she fled?”
“Oh, man,” Tavish murmured under his breath and shoved his hand in his ink-black hair, weighing his words. “Alistair Connor. She discovered your preferences. How, I don’t know. Maybe she did the same thing you did. I doubt it though. It doesn’t fit her character. She is too honorable.”
“What did I do?” Alistair frowned at his brother’s choice of words looking out through the tinted windows at the intense traffic. He glanced at Tavish again, the crease in his forehead deepening, “So, what did I do that was so dishonorable?”
“You hired a private detective—”
“A detective. That’s it,” he interrupted brusquely and pulled his cell phone from his breast pocket, dialing a number. “Baptist, good morning, it’s Alistair MacCraig. I need you to find Mrs. Sophia Leibowitz and her daughter. They left London today and I need to know where they’ve gone.” He listened for a split second and rushed in, “Stop everything else you’re doing. I’m doubling your fees. I’ll transfer half of it right now.”
“Alistair Connor!” Tavish scolded his brother, but Alistair just held up his hand, stopping him while he listened to what Baptist was saying.
Alistair didn’t even acknowledge Tavish’s outraged gasp as he settled the price. “Done. I’ll deposit half right now and the other half when you find her.”
“I don’t believe it, Alistair Connor.”
“Anything for her. Anything,” he whispered the last word.
Tavish had seen Alistair wield his power to achieve his position at the bank and on the stock market, glorying at other people’s downfall. He had seen his brother seduce many women with sensual elegance and a cold heart, simply to amuse himself.
Yet the man beside him in the car was broken. Broken by unrequited love. And this love inside him was as dangerous as it was gentle and compelling.
Tavish understood then that the darkness in Alistair could only be controlled by Sophia. She was the only one who had that power.
But he didn’t know if Sophia should be envied or pitied.
Also by Cristiane Serruya
I write suspenseful and heartwarming contemporary romances steeped in luxury, loss, lust, and love.
Have you read them all?
THE COMPLETE TRUST SERIES
Two billionaires who never fail to get what they want. They both want the same woman. Only one would get her.
Meet Ethan, Sophia, and Alistair in this suspenseful eight-part series romance!
~ TRUST Series standalone romances ~
SHADED LOVE
Love Painted in Red prequel
Eva May, daughter of a recently widowed, strict man, is in dire straights. Not only she is in love with a man her father doesn’t approve, but she is also pregnant.
LOVE PAINTED IN RED
2016 KindleScout winner
Tavish and Laetitia will discover falling in love is life’s greatest risk! A sizzling suspenseful contemporary romance made of loss, lust, and love, which will keep you guessing until the end!
DAMAGED LOVE
USA Today best seller
One lie tore two lovers apart, breaking both their hearts. And even the truth might not be enough to mend their damaged love.
~ EVER MORE Series standalone romances ~
SO MUCH MORE
He needs a woman to play the perfect wife—sex included, no emotions attached. She needs to pay off a debt before she ends up with broken legs—or worse.
FOREVERMORE
Billionaire widower Aleksander Maximilian’s daughter, Olivia, is dying of brain cancer. To grant his beloved daughter her wish to spend her last Christmas in Lake Tahoe, he gathers a palliative care team. But he didn’t count on having on it, the woman he had kissed on the night before...
EVERMORE
He is rich, powerful—and blind. She is beautiful, intelligent—and engaged to a corrupt politician affiliated with the Russian Mafia. Forbidden romance ignites, but the consequences for breaking off the engagement is death. For both of them.
October 2018!
~ LAST ROYALS Series standalone romances ~
ROYAL LOVE
A king without a bride. A young woman struggling on her own. And a chance encounter that could provide an heir to the throne…
ROYAL AFFAIR
His Royal Highness, Ludwig Von Kroenenberg, the thirteenth Grand-Duke of Lektenstaten, is bored and lonely. And that is a danger on itself!
April, 19 2018
~ THE DIARIES Series ~
FROM THE BARONESS’S DIARY I
The Erotic Escapades of Baron Beardley’s Wife
Young, beautiful, and voluptuous, the Baroness finds that in Beardley Manor innocent flirtations can become erotic sex escapades. And soon Lady Chloe’s diary pages are filled with her adventures—and misadventures!
FROM THE BARONESS’S DIARY II
The Adventures—and Misadventures—of Lady Chloé
Lady Chloé has yet to resolve the mystery of her husband's frequent business trips and why he's desperate to create an heir. And, of course, she wants more than just a tryst with her gardener lover. She wants love!
~ Other books ~
THE MODERN MAN
The modern state of man, his thoughts, feelings, and life are dissected by the author in a direct, sensible, and poetic style.
All the royalties from THE MODERN MAN and its translations are donated to Doctors without Borders.
~ Soon * ~
~ Mistaken Identity, TRUST Series standalone romance, featuring Valentina Espírito Santo;
~ Royal Masquerade, Last Royals #3;
~ Unexpected Trouble, TRUST Series standalone romance, featuring Victoria Espírito Santo;
~ Royal Invite, Last Royals #4;
~ Summer Love, a suspenseful steamy TRUST Series standalone romance, featuring the Brazilian hunk, Felipe Espírito Santo;
~ From The Baron’s Diary, The Diaries #3;
~ Royal Xmas, Last Royals #5;
~ The Kingdom of Perfection, my first kid’s story written under the pen name Cristiane Allevato;
* Titles and release dates of are subjected to changes.
About Cristiane Serruya
USA TODAY and AMAZON bestselling author, Cristiane Serruya—or just Cris—lives in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil, with her husband, two teenage daughters, and Loki, her Shetland sheepdog.
She’s graduated at Law School, with a Master’s in Business Law, and also has a BA in Fine Arts, all from PUC-RJ. She’s studied in England, Switzerland, Italy, and France, and, of course, Brazil.
In 2011, after twenty-two years of practicing law, Cris decided to give writing a go. And—amazingly!—it was just the piece that was missing from the puzzle of her life. Now that she’s hooked, she can’t free herself—and doesn’t want to be freed.
If not typing away stories, Cris is reading her favorite authors and pampering her family. Meeting interesting people—in person or on line—gives her the inspiration for her characters. Also, there’s a little bit of her in them as well—including the bad ones, of course.
Visit www.CrisSerruya.com, discover her other romances, and win free books!
Stalk Cris on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and BookBub to be tuned in for news on her works, giveaways, and promotions!
If you wish to be Cris’s bookmate and read her romances before anyone else, join her here: Cris’s Street Team
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