by Quinn, Taryn
“Yeah, if you’re twelve.”
“Twenty-seven, thanks.”
He turned my hand over and laced his fingers with mine. “We can help you monetarily. With whatever you want to do.”
I tamped down the offense brewing in my gut. Or it could be acid heading for higher ground once more. The Hastings always wanted to throw money at a problem to make it go away. “I don’t need your money, X. I’ve been taking care of myself for years.”
He bristled and pulled his hand away.
I turned toward him. “I could use my brother though.”
He wound his arm around my neck and dragged me against him. “But you really need a shower.”
I punched him in the belly. “Ow.”
“Serves you right for punching me.” He set his chin on top of my head. “Are you sure you don’t want to come home with me? I have an awesome housekeeper.”
“I’m sure she’d love to take care of a stranger.”
“I pay her handsomely.”
“I bet you do.” With our family money. The golden boy was exactly what my father had groomed him to be. “I just need to get out of here for a little while and think.”
I hadn’t even realized I was going to say that until it came out. Instantly, my chest felt less tight. Maybe that was what I’d needed all along.
“Then come back with me.”
“No. But I’m going to call Ry.” She had a small apartment, but we’d slept on the same bed a few dozen times. It was no big deal.
I started to rise, but he held up a hand. “What are you doing? If you get up, you’ll probably fall on your face.”
He wasn’t wrong. I sighed. “Can you get my phone? It’s over on my desk.”
He retrieved it and held it out of reach. “I’m driving you.”
“Fine.”
I ignored the texts from Caleb waiting for me and called my best friend. Always a crapshoot. Ryan and I weren’t attached to our phones like some people. Probably because we spent so much of our lives in service to others.
“Hey, girl. What’s up?”
“Ry? Are you home?” Suddenly, a wave of emotion hit me just hearing her voice.
“No. I’m at Preston’s.”
“Oh.” What was I thinking? Of course she was. She’d finally found a guy who could keep up with her wild and wonderful brain.
“Is everything okay?”
Banging metal on her end hit me like an ice pick to the skull. So much for that settled feeling. “No. Yes.” I blew out a breath. “Yes and no. Oh, goddess. One second.” I dropped the phone and raced to the bathroom again.
It was only dry heaves at this point, and yet my body didn’t seem to get the freaking memo.
“Lu?”
I waved at my brother with my head in the bowl. “I’m fine.”
He paced back down the hall, the click of his dress shoes fading as he neared the living room. I ran cold water over my wrists and went for another round with my toothbrush. At this rate, I was going to brush the enamel right off my teeth.
I dragged myself back into the living room and dropped onto the couch, then picked up my phone again. “Ugh. I swear, I don’t have anything in my body to throw up, and yet it still keeps coming.”
“Oh, hell. Are you okay? Do you have the flu?” The questions kept tumbling out of Ryan’s mouth. “I can come over and bring broth or stop at Georgia’s shop for supplies.”
I gave a half laugh. “No, I have something a little more permanent.” All the frustration I’d been tamping down seemed to bubble up now that I was actually talking to Ryan.
“I don’t know what that means.”
I wiped my clammy forehead with the back of my hand. “Of the demon spawn variety. Freaking teacher. Imma kill him. He’s never known the hex I’m going to put on him. His ancestors for a thousand years will hate him.”
Xavier whirled around, his eyes wide.
“I don’t know what that means.” Ryan’s voice was panicked.
The moisture started again in my mouth. “Ugh. One more second.” I put my head between my knees. I could hear her doing something on the other end of the line, but all I could concentrate on was keeping my stomach from spewing the whole lot of nothing left in there.
I grabbed another one of the rollerballs I had stashed all over my apartment and dragged in the clean scent of lemon oil with the tang of ginger. That combination seemed to settle me the best.
And I needed to get settled fast. The urge to get out of here was almost as overwhelming as my queasy stomach.
“Ry?”
“Here.” She sounded out of breath. Then I heard Preston in the background. All of a sudden, she was clearer. “What can I do?”
“I need somewhere to crash for a bit.”
“She can stay here.” Preston’s voice was now also more distinct. They must have their heads together.
My eyes stung. They were already such a unit.
Then the line went silent. They were probably arguing like the married couple they already were.
The ambient noise came back. “Lu? You can stay here with us.” Ryan’s voice was thick.
Which, in turn, put a lump in my throat. I was pretty sure it wasn’t the kind that would come hurling out.
Maybe.
“Preston offered up one of his guest rooms. He’s got a ton of them.”
I sniffed. “With its own bathroom, maybe? I don’t mean to be greedy, but the porcelain throne is my new best friend.”
“Oh.”
I heard the realization in her voice. I sniffed again. “Yeah. I’d handle it myself, but I just need a spot to think for a little bit.”
Caleb didn’t want me to handle it alone. I knew he didn’t. But he was just so overwhelming right now. So sure of everything when it came to us. He kept tossing around the love word with such earnest happiness.
For me.
With me.
With the little family we were possibly making.
“Anything you need. Always. You don’t have to handle it alone. We got you.”
I swallowed down the lump and dabbed at my eyes. “I love you.”
“I love you too, girl.”
Simple as that, I knew Ryan had my back. No question. “I need to take a shower and clean up.”
“Okay, we’ll be there in a little bit. Take care of you.”
“Take care of you,” I said back and held my phone to my chest.
Caleb didn’t deserve this. He didn’t deserve me. I should be thrilled that he was so sure. So ready for this. Was he faking it? It couldn’t be so easy to just accept me and an unplanned baby.
“I said I’d take you.”
I blinked out of my anxiety spiral. I looked up to find my brother in front of my window, his hands on his hips. “I know, but it was just easier. They’ll be here soon. I just really need to clean up.”
“You’re not going to pass out in the shower or something, are you?” He touched the back of his neck, rubbing at his shoulders.
“Don’t worry. I don’t think either of us could live that down, thanks.”
Relief flooded his face. “I’m staying until they get here though.”
I laughed. “I’ll allow it.”
He snorted. “Ass.”
With a sigh, I looked at my phone and tapped on one of Caleb’s half dozen texts. I couldn’t even read them all right now. I just needed a second to get my head together.
My fingers shook as I typed.
I need some time to think. I’m not sure when I’ll be back. Don’t worry about me. I’ll check in soon.
I locked the phone and flicked on the do not disturb option, then stood up. When Xavier rushed forward, I grabbed his hand and leaned against him. “I appreciate it.”
He kissed the top of my head. “Okay, go on. You are ripe.”
“Oh, I missed you so much.”
He curled his arm around my neck and dragged me in until my nose was jammed against his chest. “I did miss you, Lu. I’m go
ing to be here for you, no matter what.”
I pressed my cheek against him and drew in his comforting sandalwood scent. In all these years, that hadn’t changed. “Guess you’re going to be an uncle. How about that?”
“That’s fucking terrifying.”
“Which part?” I peered up at him. “You being an uncle or me a mom?”
“Seems like they’re about even.”
I laughed. “I’m going to have to agree.” We swayed like that for a minute before I drew back. “Okay, I’m definitely going for that shower.”
“Thank God.” He rubbed my arms. “Lu?”
“Hmm?”
“Is that a stripper pole?”
I swallowed a laugh. “Yep.”
“Just tell me that’s not how you support yourself.”
I patted his cheek. “I’ll be back.”
“That’s not an answer,” he called after me.
I laughed for the first time in days as I headed down the hall.
Fifteen
I was single again.
Unofficially but really freaking officially.
She’d sent me a Dear John note. I’d heard of those on reruns of old sitcoms. Naturally, I’d never experienced such a phenomenon before in my life. I used to be the one sending those notes, full of apologies and requests to still be friends.
I was still friends with some of them. They were generally more understanding people than I was. Because if Luna dumped me, I couldn’t see myself being her buddy.
Especially if she thought she was going to date and find some other dude while she was carrying my baby.
“Carrying your what?” Lucky demanded while I paced a new tread around the desk in my classroom.
It had been more than two hours since I’d received Luna’s message. She’d sent it before then, when I was still fully occupied with parent-teacher meetings. The cynical part of me suspected that was why she’d sent it then. If I didn’t know she was leaving, I couldn’t stop her.
Not that I’d tried. I was practically a desperate, lovesick fool, but I’d taken enough college psychology classes to know which approach would not work. If I begged her to stay, she’d run farther and faster.
So, I still hadn’t responded. What the hell was I supposed to say?
Sure, fine, go ahead. Go find yourself in Joshua Tree or Salem or Hawaii or wherever. If you still need time when the birth approaches, I’m sure you can handle it without me. You know, the father.
Didn’t that give me rights? I was all about a woman’s body, her choice, but my kid was currently a captive to her decisions.
“Carrying what, jackass?” Lucky shouted into my ear. I’d forgotten he was even on the phone. “I must’ve misheard you.”
I sat on the edge of my desk. “Luna’s pregnant.”
“Wow. Did you know she was seeing other— Oh. Oh.”
“Were you actually going to ask me who the father of her child is? Really?”
“Well, you didn’t say it was yours,” he said defensively. “And hello, I’m trying to watch the damn game. The Giants are actually up for once.”
“So sorry to interrupt you.” I clicked off and debated flinging my phone into the wastebasket in a proper tantrum.
But I didn’t do it. I was a mature adult who’d just hung up on his best friend.
When my cell buzzed, I accepted Lucky’s call. “Yeah?”
“Dude, you hung up on me.”
“I know. I was there. You’re my best friend, right? Aren’t you honor bound to counsel me through shit?”
“Okay. If you really want me to. Hang on a second.” Something banged, and then the TV went silent. “All right. So, the thing is, the rhythm method only works so well. I mean, I’m kind of an expert at it, but you’re playing Russian Roulette when you time your thrusts in a town like the Cove. Of course I have exemplary staying power, so I can go much longer than you probably can. Nothing to be ashamed of. But that means—”
I laughed so loud that I worried I’d popped a blood vessel in my temple. The one that had been throbbing since I’d eagerly clicked on Luna’s text.
Before I’d realized she was putting me on ice.
“She’s on birth control. We used condoms every time.” There was once or twice that some slippage could’ve happened though.
Whatever. The kid was planted. I wasn’t going to Monday night quarterback the ins and outs of how it had occurred—literally.
“Huh. And you’re sure it’s yours.”
“Lucky,” I warned.
“I’m just making sure. You were right not to have sex for ages. It was like you had a premonition or something that the Cove egg dropper was hovering over your head.”
“Premonition? Where did you pick up that word?”
“Macy saw a movie. Then she made Gideon watch it. Then the whole crew watched it. Some fucked up shit, man. Like this chick was married, right?”
I closed my eyes and prayed for deliverance while he blathered on about cheating husbands and funerals and Sandra Bullock. Typically, she would’ve triggered my interest all by herself, but I was in a bind. I was pretty sure she could’ve appeared naked in my classroom, and I wouldn’t have so much as blinked.
Love was crap.
When he finished, he let out a breath. “So, anyway, Luna’s knocked up. Congratulations?”
“Thanks.”
“You don’t sound overjoyed. I don’t blame you. Friday beer fests are now basically cancelled forever.”
“Not because of that, you dolt.”
“Harsh.”
“Sorry. It’s just a lot. And now Luna’s gone.”
“Define gone.”
“Not in the area.”
“Did she go shopping in Syracuse?”
I explained it to him in a brief, semi-manly fashion. How she’d told me. How I’d reacted. How she’d reacted.
“So, that’s why you ghosted me for dinner that night after inviting me. I had to sit with people I didn’t even know. Hella awkward. And my date decided she didn’t like guys before I even got to her place. I don’t know what that was about.”
“I can’t begin to imagine.”
“That Preston dude is with Ryan. She’s Luna’s chick, right?”
I reached up to undo the top couple buttons on my shirt. “Yeah. Her best friend.”
“Ryan’s guy is a lawyer. He’s smart. I was shocked he didn’t wear a pocket protector with his fancy suit. Complete opposite of Ryan. He was pretty funny though. Ryan kept calling him PMS. I’m sure they have a kinky sex life. They had that glow.”
I’d made the mistake of sipping from my water bottle at that exact moment. The liquid went down the wrong pipe, and I started coughing. Lucky naturally took that as confirmation of his carnal theories.
“Oh, so they do have a kinky sex life. I knew it. Bet you it’s like whips or something. She has a sexually adventurous vibe. Hot.” Lucky cleared his throat. “So, ah, Luna with that pole. Bet she’s the same way, huh?”
“I’m not discussing the mother of my child with you that way, pervert.”
“Last month, she was the blond witchy hottie. Now she’s practically sanctified.”
“Pretty much. And she’s gone off to find herself and I’m trying not to lose my mind.”
“Why would she need to do that?”
“I don’t know. I must’ve fucked it up somehow.”
“Did you say something about not wanting the kid?”
“No. I want it so much. I want everything with Luna. And I want to tell my parents and Ivy and Rory and Aug and Kin.” I released a long, uneven breath. Once I’d opened the valve, apparently there was no shutting it off. “But I can’t tell them until Luna’s ready for people to know, and it’s killing me. They shouldn’t be kept in the dark.”
“Whoa.”
Silence descended on the line.
I squeezed my plastic water bottle and a little dribbled out of the top onto my khakis. “You okay?”
“Yeah, I
just grabbed a cold one. I thought this day would never come.”
“What day?”
“The day you grew up and became a Crescent Cove daddy.”
I had to laugh. “You’re next, buddy.”
“How dare you. Why would you curse me like that?”
“It’s not a curse, man. I swear.”
He made a sound that indicated he clearly did not believe me and never would.
“We haven’t really planned or anything yet. But I started looking around online the other day. The clothes are so tiny. What if I accidentally drop him or her?”
“Or sit on him,” Lucky mused.
“Okay, didn’t think of that one, but yeah.” I glanced out the window into the darkness and made myself stand from the desk. “I have to go home. Putting off facing her empty apartment isn’t going to make it any easier.”
“I can meet you there,” he offered. “We can watch some shitty TV and get drunk until we pass out. Just like the old days.”
“If by the old days you mean July,” I said dryly as I put my bottle in the recycler and started stuffing papers into my briefcase.
“Before she got between us.”
I set down a file full of assessment reports. “She isn’t between us. We’re still us. Nothing’s changed.”
“You know that isn’t true. It can’t be. You’ll have all these responsibilities, and no time for your old pal Lucky.” He let out a rusty laugh. “But hey, I’ll be the godfather, right?”
“I can’t do that to an innocent baby.”
When Lucky stayed quiet, I made myself laugh. If it sounded maniacal, that couldn’t be helped. “Of course you’ll be his godfather. Who else would I ask than my best friend in all the world to parent a small, helpless child upon my untimely death?”
“That’s better. I accept.”
I had to hope when the surprise wore off, Lucky would come to his senses and admit he did not want to be my child’s godfather. Problem was he always liked to be the first pick, and if he suspected I thought August was a better choice, he’d cry foul until the end of time.
Basically, baby Beck was as screwed as his daddy.
“So, are we on for crap TV and drunken antics or what?”
I started to accept, then I shook my head although he couldn’t see me. I was a father now, even if the kid wasn’t born yet. Drowning my sorrows when I had the tolerance of a homecoming cheerleader made no sense. On the surface, it seemed like a better plan than stationing myself outside Luna’s apartment and waiting for her to emerge, but I couldn’t do that either.
