by Kyra Jacobs
Did he even have a choice?
Chapter Seventeen
Felicity sat at Lauren’s kitchen table, scrolling through yet another employment website while her cousin sat beside her doing the same thing. They’d been at it for over an hour now and had a whopping three potential openings identified. Only one was within thirty miles of town, and none were anything she felt remotely excited about. Hopefully, something else would surface before Dr. Bedi released Scott from his restrictions. Otherwise, her nest egg might get depleted before anything worthwhile turned up.
Lauren pushed her computer away with a sigh. “Yeah, there’s nothing at all on this site. I think you’re just going to have to go with plan B.”
“Which is?”
“Marry the rich soccer player and become a stay at home mom.”
Felicity rolled her eyes. “Like that’s even an option.”
“What? You said yourself you two seem to be clicking better lately. And he’s hot. And skilled in the bedroom—”
“Not around the kids!” Felicity whispered, fire erupting in her cheeks.
“Oh, whatever. They’re not listening to us, not with the television on. So what’s the hang-up?”
“The hang-up? Laur, I’ve known the guy for barely two weeks—that’s hardly enough time for either of us to fall head over heels in love.” Though, it has been enough to start the fall…
“Pfft, love is overrated. What you need is passion.”
“No, what I need is a job. Can we please go back to searching for one and leave my love life alone?”
“Um, no, because alone is what you’ve been for six years now. So what if you’re falling for a guy who lives a couple hours away? If he feels the same way, you should go for it.”
But that was just it—she didn’t know how Scott felt. Sure, he was caring and considerate to both her and Tyler, but he never talked about the future for anything other than his career. And if Edna was right about him making a promise to his mother, then who was she to step in the way? His career or her—that was a choice she couldn’t demand he make. Besides, she knew without asking which one would win.
If only they had more time together, to really vet this relationship, see where it might go. That, she’d be willing to do. A huge step forward in her mind. But they didn’t—they had a week or two, at most. It wasn’t nearly enough time to base forever-after on.
“Mom! Come quick!”
She looked at Lauren then scrambled from her chair. Had someone gotten hurt? Choked on a piece of popcorn? A million and one scenarios popped into her head as she hurried into the living room. “What is it, Tyler?”
“Look!”
He pointed to the television, and she opened her mouth to scold him for getting her worried over nothing. But as she took in the scene being aired, the scolding faded from her mind. A soccer player in yellow and black was being interviewed by some sportscaster, the two of them in a subset box on the screen while a replay of an injury was running over and over in the remainder of the viewing area. Another guy in yellow was running with the ball one moment, then getting his feet taken out from under him by a guy in white the next.
Yellow and black—weren’t those Scott’s team colors?
“What happened?” she asked.
“That’s Scott’s backup,” said Tyler. “They’re saying he might be out the rest of the season.”
“So who’s his backup?”
“He doesn’t have one. There isn’t anyone else.” Tyler’s eyes grew watery. “Mom, what if they try to take Scott away? What if he has to leave before Hero Day at school?”
She dropped onto the couch beside her son and pulled him to her. “I don’t know, baby, but I’m sure we’ll figure something out.”
Felicity exchanged a look with her cousin. She’d feared this would happen, that Tyler would grow too attached to Scott. With as much as they’d been practicing together this week, the warning signs had been growing. Heck, him asking Scott to come to school and be his “hero” for the day should have been warning enough.
But what could she have done to prevent it aside from not taking the job? Then they wouldn’t be getting ready to move into their new rental next weekend, Tyler wouldn’t have learned the soccer skills that helped him make new friends at school, and her son would still be getting picked on for wearing glasses. No, her taking the job had been a good thing; she refused to let herself believe otherwise.
Besides, maybe they were jumping to conclusions. Maybe there was someone else on his team that could fill in for now and Scott wouldn’t get called back yet. Surely, he couldn’t just walk out the door tomorrow. The man hadn’t run in over a month!
J.B.—he would know what to do. Heck, he was probably on top of this already. All they needed him to do was explain to the coach that Scott wasn’t physically ready to come back, and things could stay as they were a little while longer. Then Scott could stay for Hero Day, Tyler would be happy, and she could try and determine just how deep Scott’s feelings for her really were. Only then would she have a clear idea of what to do next.
The need for answers had her on her feet and gathering up her things. As she powered down her laptop, Lauren drew her in for a tight hug.
“Good luck,” she said.
“Thanks.” Felicity stepped back and motioned for Tyler. “Come on, sweetheart. Let’s go pick up Edna from Bingo and wait for Scott to get home.”
…
Scott thanked Sawyer one last time for taking him out, then reluctantly started up the farmhouse’s front steps. Its interior was dark, the only light coming from the extra nightlights Edna had added for her guests their first week here. Since everyone else seemed to already be in bed, he angled for the porch swing instead of going inside. With a sigh, he dropped onto it and closed his eyes, the buzz of alcohol leaving the world around him slightly out of focus.
He wasn’t usually much of a drinker, but after that call from J.B., he’d ordered another. And maybe done a few shots with his buddies. They’d wanted to celebrate his team’s win; he’d wanted to drown out the million and one questions racing around inside his head.
Monday. He was expected to report back to training on Monday.
There would be no more second opinions, no more taking it easy. J.B. wanted him on a plane tomorrow and a treadmill before the day was done. Part of him was exhilarated to finally get the chance to play again, to get his life back to normal. The rest of him was questioning his sanity.
What if he got hurt again? What if he couldn’t keep up?
What if he went back to Columbus and lost Felicity for good?
He raked a hand through his hair and groaned. Edna was going to kill him, Tyler was going to be crushed, and Felicity… Yeah, she’d probably kill him, too.
The front door creaked open, and Scott turned to spy Felicity ease out onto the porch.
Speak of the devil.
“Hey,” she said softly, perching on the rail across from him rather than take a seat on the swing.
And he knew, without her saying another word, that she’d seen what happened at the end of the game. But he didn’t want her sitting over there, he wanted her by his side, putting her arms around him and saying everything was going to be okay. Except she wouldn’t, not after she heard what the future had in store for him.
So instead, he simply replied, “Hey.”
“The guys kept you out late, huh?”
He nodded, wishing to cut out the small talk but too cowardly to do so. “Not nearly as late as they used to. But then, we’re getting older now. More responsible.”
She arched a brow but let it go. “Tyler said your team won.”
“We did. Buzzer-beater penalty kick.”
“Herrera going to be okay?”
Yep, she knew. Probably Tyler had already run through all the possible scenarios. That they were only two deep on forwards, that there weren’t enough midfielders left to sub into right wing for an entire game.
That he had to go back.
He shook his head. “Dunno. Initial talk is he’ll be out at least a game or two.”
Scott bent to rest his elbows on his knees and drew in a deep breath. The air was cool and damp with a hint of crispness to it. Fall in Indiana had always been his favorite season, with the leaves changing, the bonfires, the hot apple cider…
“They called you back, didn’t they?”
It wasn’t a question. He nodded, gaze on the porch’s painted, aging floorboards.
“What did you tell them?”
“What could I tell them? My agent called, said to be on tomorrow’s flight. I said okay.”
“Okay?” She came to her feet, her hushed voice incredulous. “Scott, you’re not ready!”
“Doesn’t matter, I’m under contract. They own me.”
“Bullshit.”
Scott straightened in his seat. He’d never heard her swear before. “Look, I know it’s sooner than we’d thought, but I don’t have a choice. With all the injuries our team has had, they’re running out of options.”
“Running out, Scott. Not out of options. Tell them you can’t go. You haven’t been fully cleared yet. Hell, you haven’t run in weeks! How can you possibly be any good to them?”
“Because I’m one of the best!”
His shout echoed across the lawn, but Felicity held her ground.
“Great, you’re one of the best. So walk away now, before you reinjure your knee and never get to play again.”
“Don’t you get it? I can’t walk away. Soccer is my life, Felicity. It’s all I know how to do.”
“Wrong. It’s all you’ve let yourself believe you know how to do. But you know what? You’re more than that. You…have this crazy ability to electrify a room of noisy kids. The minute you start talking, they’re hanging on your every word. You took my son, who’s never had an organized sports lesson in his life, and have him dribbling around the house like a mini Pelé. And the radio station—do you know they had the highest ratings in months when you were on? Your podcast has been downloaded more times this year than any other. So don’t you dare sit there and say you can’t do anything else, Scott Gillie. Because I know better than that. I. Know. Better.”
He shook his head, not wanting to hear what she was saying, not wanting to believe there were other ways out. Because, God, he wanted it to be true. Wanted to walk away from soccer at this moment more than he ever had before, all because of the woman standing before him with her hands planted on her hips. But he couldn’t stop playing, not yet.
“She made me promise,” he said softly. “She made me promise I wouldn’t give up until I reached my goals.”
“No mother would want her son to put himself in harm’s way to reach a goal.”
Scott looked out across the lawn, remembering the day he moved in with his grandparents. So much had changed since then. People passing, time passing. Yet one thing remained the same, his anchor in the storm.
“You don’t understand. That promise got me through everything, everything, since she passed. I can’t just turn away from it, Felicity. It’s who I am.”
“No, Scott. It’s all you’ve allowed yourself to be. That promise might have helped you keep your focus once upon a time, kept you from buckling under the weight of despair, but it can only take you so far. Whether you reach your goal or not, that promise can’t celebrate alongside you when you succeed or console you when you fall. They’re just words, Scott. And while you’re clinging to them, the other things you’re missing in life are going to pass you by.”
“But I’m so close I can nearly taste it. This goal isn’t decades off, it’s only months away, maybe a few years at the most. Those other things, they’ll still be there waiting for me when I’m finally done.”
“Will they? I wouldn’t be so sure.”
She started for the door, and he knew at that moment he’d lost her. Scott sat stunned, watching the best thing that’d walked into his life leave him. He wanted to beg her to come back, to be patient with him while he finished his lifelong mission, but he knew it was no use. So long as he put his goal above everything else, there wasn’t room left for her. She’d just said as much.
“Please tell Tyler I’m sorry I can’t come to Hero Day,” he said.
Felicity paused at the door but didn’t look back. “You can tell him in the morning before you leave for the airport. I’ll see if Norman can drive you there.”
She slipped inside, the closing door ending their conversation like a judge’s gavel. Decision rendered, punishment assigned. Scott hung his head, ashamed he couldn’t be the hero Tyler took him for…or the man Felicity needed him to be.
Chapter Eighteen
Felicity sat with Tyler under a tall maple tree in the far corner of Edna’s backyard, quizzing him on his addition tables while doing her best not to glance back toward the farmhouse. Scott wasn’t due to leave for another fifteen minutes, and she just couldn’t bear to look at him. Seeing him one last time might make her second-guess her decision not to say goodbye. And talking would lead to touching, and that would have her heart breaking all over again.
She’d gone to her room after leaving him on the porch last night and grieved in silence. It was something she’d become a pro at, hiding her hurts from Tyler, from the world. Why make anyone else as miserable as her? This time it wasn’t just for herself that she grieved, but for Tyler as well. For the friendship he’d forged and was now losing with the hero who’d turned out to be no such thing.
And, if she was being honest, she grieved for Scott and Edna, too.
As frustrated as Felicity was over his refusal to put health before dreams, she felt sorry for Scott. Sorry that a lonely promise was what he’d chosen to cling to rather than the people around him. She felt sorry for Edna as well, knowing she was as powerless to change Scott’s mind as Felicity had been. Only, Edna was getting older, weaker. Sure, she put on a good show, but there were signs that her age was starting to catch up with her, including the increased use of that cane since their arrival. Would she still be around when Scott finally reached this goal of his?
“Mom?”
“Yes, baby,” she said, brushing the hair back from his glasses.
“Is Scott mad at me?”
“No, sweetheart. I think he’s worried that you’re mad at him. He feels awful he won’t be here for Hero Day.”
“I’m not mad,” Tyler said. “Well, maybe just a little. It was going to be so cool having him come talk to my class. Now the other kids are going to think I made it all up.”
“But Sam knows better. He got to see you guys hanging out at KidFest, remember? And I’m sure I snapped a few pictures of you guys playing soccer last week.”
“Really?” It was the most animated he’d been since learning Scott was leaving. “Can I see?”
“Maybe later. Right now, we need to finish your eights page.”
Tyler huffed out a sigh. “Math stinks. Can I go tell Scott goodbye instead?”
“You already told him goodbye, sweetheart. If we keep interrupting him, he’ll never finish packing.”
He placed a small hand on her arm. “It’s okay to be sad he’s leaving, Mom. I’m sad about it, too.”
Felicity pulled Tyler in for a tight hug. Her little man was growing up more and more each day. “I’m so sorry, honey. Sad is the last thing in the world I want you to be.”
“It’s okay,” he said on a sigh. “I mean, he had to go back sometime, right? Columbus has been struggling without him.”
Just like she’d be for the next few weeks as she readjusted to life with no Scott. But she had her support network here, and together they’d make it through just fine. Her heart would heal, and life would go on. She just wished…
No, it wouldn’t do her any good to wish for what couldn’t be. She deserved a man who put her and her son first. To be with someone who wanted her on his team, not waiting on the sidelines. Maybe someday she’d find him.
“Oh, Mom—they’re leaving!”
Tyler jumped up and dashed across the lawn.
“Goodbye, Scott!” he hollered, waving and jumping as he ran. “Goodbye!”
She shouldn’t have turned, hadn’t meant to look, but it was habit to keep a close watch on Tyler. As her gazed fixed on him, Norman’s car slowed to a stop on the long drive. Scott rolled down the rear passenger window to accept her son’s high five, then leaned out of the car and pulled Tyler in for a hug.
Felicity’s heart broke a little bit more.
After a long moment, Scott set him down, ruffled his hair, and held out his fist for one last bump. Tyler knocked his fist to Scott’s, his face beaming with delight.
Her sweet little boy, so quick to forgive. If only she could do the same. But as Scott scanned the yard beyond Tyler, she ducked behind the tree, knowing it would take more than a hug to mend her wounds.
And more wasn’t something Scott seemed willing to give.
…
Scott stood on the curb at Fort Wayne International Airport, duffle bag over one shoulder, trying to prepare himself for the wrath of Edna. She’d been unusually cool, calm, and collected at the announcement that he’d been called back early. Hadn’t gone off on him at breakfast or berated him while he packed…which meant she’d been saving up for the moment when they said their goodbyes.
With his grandmother getting up there in age, fighting was never how he wanted to part ways with her.
“You’re a complete idiot, you know.”
He hung his head to hide the “I knew it” grin. “I have to go.”
“Of course you do. You’re under contract, yadda yadda yadda. For your information, I’ve read the contract and know there are loopholes you could have taken, so don’t you try to feed me the same line you fed Felicity last night.”
She’d read his contract? The woman might never cease to surprise him. “You heard?”
