by Valerie Wood
‘I’m sorry!’ she stammered. ‘I didn’t think you would come again today. I’ve been to see my ma.’
‘You should be here,’ he complained. ‘I need you.’
‘So does my ma,’ she answered quietly. ‘I have to see her sometimes.’
He ushered her inside the room. ‘I must come first, Ruby.’ He put his arms around her and she felt smothered. ‘That’s why I took these rooms, so that you would always be here.’
‘But I have to go out. I can’t stay in all day! This is ’first time I haven’t been here when you came,’ she wheedled, for he seemed so very agitated. ‘What is it?’ she asked. ‘What’s ’matter?’
He clutched her face with his hands. ‘Promise you won’t ever leave me,’ he urged. ‘Promise!’
She laughed and drew him to a chair. She made him sit down and then sat on his knee. ‘It should be ’other way round, shouldn’t it? I should be making you promise. You’re more likely to tire of me!’
‘Never,’ he vowed. ‘Never. Never. Never!’ He lifted her from his knee and started to walk backward and forward about the room. ‘Ruby, I have something to tell you. That’s why I want you to promise that you won’t ever leave.’ He turned swiftly and caught her to him. ‘Say that you won’t! I never thought that I would feel so passionately about someone. But since I first saw you at the mill I’ve been obsessed with you. I think about you day and night. I can’t sleep. I can’t work.’
She was flattered but also rather disturbed. She was beginning to feel trapped. Am I losing my freedom? If I ever had any, she mused.
‘What is it you have to tell me?’ She avoided giving him an answer.
He sat down again and put his head in his hands. ‘I don’t want to lose you.’ He looked up at her and she saw pain in his eyes. ‘I’ll give you anything you want. Jewels, money, whatever you want you can have, but please don’t go away.’
‘I’m not likely to leave, Edward,’ she said softly. ‘Where would I go? I came from nowhere and that’s where I’d go back to, so why would I want to?’ She looked around the pleasant room. The late evening sun was shining through the windows, casting a warm glow on the walls and furniture, not something she had ever seen in the dank and dark room in Middle Court. ‘Tell me!’
‘I’m getting married!’
‘Oh!’ She was surprised, yet it was inevitable, she supposed. ‘Oh!’ She sat down on a chair opposite and leaned towards him, putting out her hands. ‘Edward!’ she breathed and felt a faint sense of relief. She was often anxious when he was so passionate, afraid of becoming pregnant, and always washed herself thoroughly afterwards with vinegar and water. Perhaps he wouldn’t be quite so demanding if he had a wife to please. ‘When?’
‘Next week,’ he groaned. ‘I have to marry her, Ruby. It’s expected of me. She would sue me for breach of promise if I didn’t.’
She didn’t know what that meant, but it sounded very threatening. ‘But of course you must if you’ve promised.’ She tried to sound downhearted. ‘She would be heartbroken if you didn’t!’
‘Heartbroken!’ He gave a wry laugh. ‘I don’t think so. Not May. She would think she was ill used, for it would ruin her reputation.’
‘And in any case, you can’t marry me, can you?’ She looked at him from under her lowered lashes.
‘Of course I can’t!’ He drew her to him, bending his head to kiss her throat. ‘Even if it were possible I wouldn’t want you as a wife, Ruby. Not when I can have you as my mistress.’ He started to unbutton her gown, slipping it off her shoulders and running his hands over her naked breasts.
As she lay beside him on the feather bed, his head cradled beneath her arm and his cheek on her breast, she pondered her situation. He says I can have anything I want. Jewels, then, and I can sell them when he gets tired of me, which he will one day, or when his wife finds out what he’s up to. Money. Yes! Then I can save to buy Freddie back and bring him home. She stroked Edward’s cheek and he murmured in his sleep. Poor Edward. Having to marry someone he doesn’t love, when he’s so full of passion! I wonder what she’s like? She’ll be rich, I expect. That’s why he’s marrying her.
She had no illusions about Edward Newmarch’s principles or motives, nor did her own conscience stir, for she had thought that she would only be meeting married men when she had agreed to join Jamie. Hadn’t he told her that married men didn’t lie with their wives except to conceive children?
Jamie! She felt anxious whenever she thought of him. She tried to avoid meeting him for he had been angry with her when she had paid him back what she owed, and he had demanded to know where she had got the money. She had told him to mind his own business and he had become threatening and warned her off his and his mother’s area.
Edward stirred and said he would have to go. ‘But I’ll see you again before your wedding, won’t I?’ she asked softly. ‘I couldn’t bear it if I didn’t.’
She smiled to herself as he groaned and buried his face in her hair, and whispered that of course she would. ‘Every day,’ he said, ‘until then. And we shall be away for only a short time.’
‘You might not want me after you’ve – been with your wife.’ She let her mouth tremble.
He smiled and pulled her on top of him. ‘I shall have to be careful that I don’t shock her by expecting too much on our wedding night,’ he said. ‘Virgin ladies are so modest and delicate – and untried. They are unaware of what pleases a man.’
‘But Edward,’ she objected, digging her fingernails into his shoulders and letting her hair tumble across his face, ‘I was a virgin when I met you.’
He rolled her over and she saw by the look in his eyes that he wouldn’t be going home yet. ‘So you were, my darling Ruby. But you were not and never will be a lady.’
‘So, Mother, will you miss me when I’m gone to be a married man?’ Edward teased his mother as she fussed over the last-minute arrangements. ‘You will only have Martin and he’s such a sobersides.’
‘He is not a sobersides at all,’ his mother objected. ‘He simply does not have your frivolous nature. Now, I wish to speak to you seriously.’
Edward groaned. ‘Not a lecture, Mother. I have to go out.’
‘That is exactly what I want to talk to you about.’ His mother’s cheeks flushed. ‘I have asked your father to speak to you but he refuses, but I must have my say.’ Mrs Newmarch, normally a placid woman who did not impose her views on anyone, was determined to tell her son of her feelings now.
‘You spend far too much time at your club, Edward, and although it is perhaps excusable in a single young man, it will not look good if you continue in such a manner once you are married.’
Edward yawned. ‘We have had this conversation before,’ he began, but his mother interrupted.
‘It has been commented on by Mrs Gregory,’ she said firmly, ‘that you have spent little time with Miss Gregory since you became affianced. The poor child is quite distressed and wonders if her married life is going to be lonely.’
‘Then I shall go to see her now.’ He rose to his feet. ‘This very minute.’
‘But they will not expect you,’ she said in alarm. ‘It will be most inconvenient if you call now whilst they are busy making arrangements for tomorrow.’
He bent and kissed her forehead. ‘They must take me as I am, Mother, and if I am to put May’s mind at rest then I will do it now.’
He saddled up a mount and rode off towards Hessle to the Gregorys’ house, situated not far from All Saints Church where he and May were to be married the next day. He greeted Mrs Gregory and asked if he might speak to May.
‘It is not convenient, Mr Newmarch,’ she demurred. ‘May is having last-minute fittings to her gown.’
‘I must see her,’ he pleaded. ‘I can’t wait until tomorrow when we will be surrounded by so many people.’
Mrs Gregory relented. ‘Oh, very well then – you young people,’ she gushed. ‘So impetuous!’
As May came into the room, he was
struck by how pale and listless she looked, but for the bright spots of colour on her cheeks. He gave a slight bow, then drew her towards him. ‘I just wanted to see you before the ceremony,’ he whispered. ‘There will not be a chance to speak to you alone.’
‘Oh, Edward.’ She clung to his arm. ‘I have been so worried. I have seen so little of you, I feel as if I hardly know you.’
He gave her a smile. ‘We shall get to know each other very well during our married life together, May, but we do not need to spend our whole time in each other’s pocket. Men and women have different interests,’ he said persuasively, ‘which is how it should be, for then we shall have something to discuss when we meet at supper every evening.’
‘Of course,’ she agreed. ‘I know I’m being very silly and I know also that you will not spend too much time at your club once we are wed. Will you?’ she added, and he thought he saw a look of determination in her expression, in spite of her girlish manner.
He kissed her cheek and reassured her, then left her to return to her dressmaker, whilst he, rather than going home, cantered swiftly into Hull to assuage his appetite and longing for Ruby.
The bright morning sun woke him the next day as it came through his window, and he groaned as he remembered his commitment. His marriage to May. The clock in the hall struck five and he rolled over in bed and put his head beneath the sheets. ‘Damnation!’ he muttered. ‘How will I get through the day?’ He lay for ten minutes, thinking that he wouldn’t see Ruby for nearly two weeks and wondering how he could possibly bear not to be with her. ‘The girl has possessed me,’ he murmured. ‘She’s got under my skin so that I can’t do without her.’
He sat up in bed, then swung his legs out. There’s time, he thought. Plenty of time to ride into Hull and back, the ceremony isn’t until twelve. He pulled off his nightshirt and rinsed his face and hands with the water still in the jug from the previous evening, then quickly dressed in shirt, trousers and jacket. He crept stealthily downstairs with his boots in his hand and let himself out of the front door.
The road was quiet apart from a few early morning traders making their way to the Hull market, and just after six o’clock he was putting the key in the door of the house in Wright Street and waking a sleepy Ruby.
‘I just had to see you,’ he murmured in her ear. ‘I couldn’t face the day without being with you. What am I to do, Ruby? I need you so much.’
They both fell asleep and were woken by the rattle of waggons and voices in the road outside. Edward sat up and looked at the clock on the wall. ‘My God!’ He jumped out of bed. ‘It’s ten thirty! The service is at twelve!’
Ruby was tempted, just for devilment, to call him back to bed. She knew that she could. If he could spend his wedding morning with her, she was very sure that she could ask for and be given anything she wanted. But she resisted and put her face up for a kiss.
‘Oh, Ruby.’ He closed his eyes as he bent over her. ‘I’d give anything to spend the day with you.’ He straightened up. ‘But duty calls.’ He emptied his pockets of money. ‘There’s not much there, but I’ll make it up to you later.’ He gave a grin. ‘There’ll be plenty of money after today.’
The house was in turmoil when he got back, for no-one knew where he had gone, only that his horse wasn’t there. ‘I was awake early,’ he explained. ‘So I went for a canter along the Humber bank. I forgot the time, that’s all.’ He shrugged and dashed upstairs to change into his morning suit.
‘You went to see her, didn’t you?’ Martin said in a low voice as they climbed into the open landau which was to take them to church. ‘Mother was having a fit! You’re sailing too close to the wind, Edward. You’ll be found out.’
Edward held his grey top hat on his knees and tapped it with his fingertips. He stuck his chin in the air, and didn’t look at his brother as he replied. ‘It’ll be too late then, won’t it? In half an hour’s time I shall be a married man, and as a married man in my own household, I make the rules.’
Martin said nothing. There was nothing to say. Edward was quite right, he could do anything he wanted and his wife and children, if he had any, must obey him. He thought of Mrs Westwood, returned unwillingly to her brutal husband because her child was ill and fretting for her. He sighed. The campaigning women were right. It was an unjust world.
‘You look beautiful, my dear.’ Edward was very convivial as they celebrated at the wedding breakfast which was being held at the Gregorys’ home. He had drunk several glasses of champagne and smiled benevolently, if not lovingly, at his new wife. He touched the sparkling jewels around her throat. ‘And you’re wearing my gift.’ He thought of his promise to Ruby that she would have jewels. I’ll buy her rubies, they will suit her vibrant personality. I mustn’t think of her, he reminded himself hurriedly, or I shall want to dash away to see her.
Instead he bent to kiss his wife’s cheek and murmured something in her ear. ‘Edward!’ She drew back, her cheeks colouring. ‘There are people here!’
‘Doesn’t matter,’ he slurred. ‘You’re my wife now.’
‘We must still behave with propriety,’ she insisted. ‘Come.’ She gave a bright smile and took his arm. ‘We must circulate and speak with our guests.’
Georgiana Gregory chatted to various guests and then made her way across to Martin. ‘You’re looking very thoughtful,’ she said. ‘Not very merry for a wedding celebration.’
‘Mm, well.’ He gave a slight shrug. ‘Marriage is a serious business, it’s not all merrymaking.’
She raised her eyebrows. ‘And do you think that your brother will take it seriously?’
‘I don’t know, to be perfectly frank with you, Georgiana. I don’t know at all.’
‘You are quite different, are you not – you and Edward?’ She gazed thoughtfully across at Edward, whose eyes were straying around the room even as he spoke to guests. He saw her looking at him and gave a small bow. ‘I wouldn’t wager that he will be faithful,’ she murmured. ‘Whereas, if you made a commitment, then I’m sure you would always keep it. Does your offer to me still hold?’ she added swiftly, and saw the startled look on his face.
‘I –’ He took a deep breath. ‘As you say, if I make a commitment, then I keep it. Of course it still holds.’
‘It’s just that –’ She gazed steadily at him. ‘Well, it’s a funny thing about a wedding ceremony – for women, anyway. It makes us feel that married life would be such bliss. Whereas, in reality,’ she added slowly, ‘we know very well that it isn’t.’
It was late as the last of the guests took their leave, and May, followed by her maid, went upstairs.
‘Just one more drink,’ Edward murmured as he took a glass from the tray which the footman held. ‘Here, Martin,’ he took another and handed it to him. ‘You look as if you need cheering up.’ He drained his glass. ‘Then I must go up to my little wifey.’
Martin took a drink of wine. ‘Not really for me to say,’ he murmured. ‘But – May is only young –’
‘I know,’ Edward’s voice dropped, ‘and inexperienced, and I’m a hot-blooded male.’ He shook his head and looked down at the floor. ‘Why do you think I went off this morning to visit Ruby? I desperately needed to see her, and I didn’t want to frighten May on our first night together.’
Martin nodded, thinking that he was halfway to understanding his brother, and beginning to feel rather sorry for him.
‘You probably will never experience a grand passion,’ Edward went on. ‘You’re far too sensible. Well, neither did I think that I would, but I have – am doing, and I’m not sensible at all, and so I can’t give her up.’ He took a handkerchief from his pocket and blew his nose. ‘I would die if she should leave me.’
Martin touched him on the shoulder. ‘I’m sorry, old fellow. Really sorry. But you should have called the marriage off. It’s not fair to May.’
‘Couldn’t do that,’ Edward replied. ‘She’d have ruined me. No, this way, we’ll both be happy. May will have a husband who doesn’
t bother her overmuch, which is what every woman wants, and I’ll have enough money to indulge my mistress and keep her happy.’
Martin watched Edward as he walked unsteadily up the stairs. He can’t be right, he pondered. There surely can be love and passion within marriage without looking elsewhere for it? He thought of Georgiana’s question of did his marriage offer still hold. Although he hadn’t formally asked for her hand, but had only suggested that she should marry him in order to give her freedom from the restrictions of her family, nevertheless it was an offer as such, and he would of course keep it. He was fond of Georgiana, yet for some reason which he couldn’t quite fathom, as he collected his coat from the footman at the door, he felt quite dispirited at the prospect.
Edward knocked on May’s door and without waiting for an answer, he opened it. The maid was in the act of removing May’s wedding gown over her head and Edward saw not May’s face, which was covered by masses of skirt, but a wide crinoline overlayered with frilled petticoats.
The maid gave a small scream and dropped the skirt back over May’s shoulders, revealing her flushed face.
‘I beg your pardon,’ he said, hiding a grin. ‘I thought you would be finished.’
The maid gazed at him with her mouth open in dismay. ‘No, sir. Sorry, sir.’
‘Can I help you with that?’ he said, moving closer. ‘It looks extremely complicated.’
‘No! No!’ May shrieked. ‘Please, go away. Come back in half an hour!’
‘Half an hour! I’m damned if I will. I want my bed. Come on,’ he said to the girl. ‘Let’s get this contraption off.’
The maid looked from one to the other, but whereas her mistress’s face was distressed, her master’s was determined, so once more she hauled the gown over May’s head.
‘It’s not decent,’ May’s voice was muffled from beneath the gown. ‘Edward, how can you?’
‘God damn it, May, I’m your husband, that’s how.’ He winked at the maid as together they lifted it up and over May’s head, and she lowered her eyes and hid a smile. They removed the layers of petticoats, Edward grumbling and exclaiming and May crying at the indignity of her husband seeing her like this. Finally she stamped her foot as they reached the last petticoat which hid the whalebone hoop and demanded that he leave the room.
