Meriel walked into the room and sank into the only chair. “I’m sorry you and Crevan don’t get along better, but do not blame yourself. You two are just very different. His calm demeanor causes you to erupt and it is clear you can pull out the worst in him.”
Raelynd did not want to talk about Crevan. She did not want to hear how she was bad for him and he for her. “You and Craig seem to get along quite well.”
Meriel shrugged and stared at her intertwined fingers as her thumbs rotated around each other in circles. “I, too, am surprised by our friendship.”
“Friendship?”
Meriel knew why her sister doubted the term. To the general public, Craig was outspoken and full of energy, but he had a far different side to him than she would ever have guessed. Craig was strong and smart, and despite his outgoing personality, he held an inner self-control she always thought a real man should possess. And for a second, she had wondered what it might be like to be more than just his friend. But that second had passed quickly. They both prized their freedom too much to give it away.
“Aye. That is all it is. I don’t think Craig has had very many female friends and though I believed myself to have had a few male ones, Craig is different. Neither of us is wondering if we have another motive when we say or do anything. It’s nice.”
Raelynd listened to the admiration in her sister’s voice when she spoke about Craig and was about to contradict her claim of mere friendship when Meriel said, “I’m glad you are betrothed to him. Together you make a good couple.”
Raelynd’s heart plummeted. Until now, she had not realized just how much she had been hoping her sister liked Craig not just as a friend, but something more. It would somehow excuse the perplexing feelings she had whenever she was around Crevan.
Once again the topic of conversation was too close to the one subject she wanted to avoid. “Do you think Conan will try again to provoke us?”
Meriel took the bait. Her head snapped up and she looked at Raelynd, her eyes narrowing. “Do you doubt it? I mean I had heard how Conan could be rude, but his remarks were unbelievable!” She pointed to the floor above and continued. “Especially after seeing his precious room. It was more cluttered than Craig’s stuff and mine put together! Next time that man says a single nasty word to us, you should go upstairs and clean up his work area. That would teach him a lesson,” Meriel ended, nodding with satisfaction at the thought.
The idea had appeal and Raelynd was glad to have a reason to laugh. “Good idea, but it would have to be you. I never intend on going near that man’s door. Did you see the look on his face this afternoon at the thought of leaving his study? That place is sacred to him. I don’t think I want to even be around if someone messed with his things, let alone be the one to have done it.”
Meriel exhaled, letting her lips trill, and rose to her feet. “You are right, but he is still insufferable. Tonight, when Laurel compelled us into the Hall and I saw all those men waiting, I realized I can be a little self-absorbed. But Conan? He is far worse. He is completely indifferent to the pain he inflicts on others.”
Raelynd sat up, surprised to hear her sister had come to the same revelation she had. “I was thinking the same thing. I mean, sometimes I don’t consider others, but at least I am not unkind to them.”
“Well, good night. I’ll see you tomorrow. Hopefully it will not be nearly as eventful as the past few days have been. I need a day off before I can start thinking about others and their needs,” Meriel said teasingly.
“Good night,” Raelynd said, and watched the door swing close behind her sister.
Forcing herself to stand up, she loosened the ties on her bliaut and pulled it over her head. She then removed the woolen overtunic, leaving on her shift. Moving back to the bed, she just stared at the coverlet. It was one thing to flop down on top of the mattress, but it was far more intimate to nestle her body within the same sheets in which Crevan had once slept.
Raelynd glanced around the room. The dim light from the small fire bounced off the walls. The cozy feeling it gave still remained, but now it also emanated something else—loneliness. And it was not her sister’s company for whom she longed. Despite their arguments, their raised voices, and even the harsh words they had exchanged, it was Crevan she wished to see.
Raelynd pulled back the coverlet. It only took two days to become accustomed to seeing him before she fell asleep; hopefully it would take no more to end the desire.
Crevan curled his knuckles and touched the door, hesitating. Just moments before, he had run into Meriel on the stairwell, who had not refrained from making it clear that he was to cease hurting her sister. Gone was the shy and retiring woman he had barely gotten to know that day in the stables. Meriel had a semifierce side to her personality and she had made it clear that she did not care if Crevan did blame Raelynd for everything. He, too, was the cause of their constant bickering. Crevan doubted he would have been allowed up to his room if he hadn’t assured Meriel multiple times that he agreed with her and was going to apologize. He almost half expected Meriel to follow him and listen outside the door, but he had been standing there for nearly five minutes and he had yet to hear her come up the stairs.
Drawing in a deep breath, he bolstered his resolve and knocked.
“Come in,” Raelynd muttered, clearly unhappy about being bothered. Crevan almost turned back around and left, but he needed whatever it was between Raelynd and him to be over.
Raelynd had yet to get in the bed when she heard Meriel knock on the door. She thought about ordering her sister to just go away, but with Meriel, that would only stiffen her desire to come in and talk. Castle servants might have believed Raelynd was the most stubborn twin, but she was overly accommodating compared to her sister when Meriel was on a mission.
Seeing Crevan enter, Raelynd felt her mouth drop open. “Why are you here?” she finally asked in a choked voice.
Crevan swallowed. Gone was the chaotic, unkempt look from earlier. Raelynd was wearing only a white chemise with a scooped neck that revealed all too well the swell of her breasts. Brushed until her hair shone like strands of lustrous glass, the dark golden locks tumbled carelessly down her back. He looked straight into her eyes, swirls of green and gold held within a face only equaled in dreams.
Mentally, Crevan gave himself a shake. Aye, she was alluring. What woman wouldn’t be standing nearly naked in his room? Swallowing, he avoided answering his own question by asking her, “How is the room? Uh, are you comfortable?”
His nervousness disarmed Raelynd. Forgetting about her state of dress, she rolled her eyes and sighed. “It depends. With the exception of your family, I think most people are going to believe our story. But Lady McTiernay? She knows something is not right.”
“What did you say to her?”
“Nothing,” Raelynd answered truthfully, shaking her head. “Meriel and I never strayed from the story, but she asked questions. It would help us a lot if we knew the whole reason we need to not just be away from our home, but to have the world think the four of us are engaged.”
Unconsciously, Crevan walked up to Raelynd and placed his hands on her shoulders. “I agree that you should know, but I swore an oath to your father that I would not say anything to you. Promise me that you will not pursue this further.”
Raelynd tilted her head and studied his earnest expression. “I will do as you ask if you agree when this is over to tell me the truth, even if my father refuses.”
Crevan grimaced, but nodded his head. Raelynd knew he was yielding to her demands, but thought the request a justified one. His leine was untied and in the opening she could see his dark chest hair that the material usually hid. Of its own accord, her hand rose and settled onto the opening, feeling the warmth and strength of his chest. “Thank you,” she whispered.
Crevan looked down and got lost in the large hazel depths staring back at him. Her eyes told him everything he needed to know. There was no pretense there. He may not have wanted it to happen, b
ut he could no longer deny that he desired her. Raelynd, however, was young, inexperienced, and ignorant of what it was like to feel passion. For her, what they were sharing was just something new and exciting.
Knowing that and desiring her anyway made him a fool.
Raelynd’s stubbornness and self-centeredness were qualities he disliked in a woman, but she also possessed passion, independence, and most of all, a belief in him. Raelynd did not see an incomplete man or a person with defects. She also did not see him as a McTiernay, the younger brother of one of the most powerful lairds in the western Highlands. All she saw was him and it was the most powerful, alluring thing he had ever encountered. He did not possess the control to be alone in her presence, for the desire to kiss her, touch her, know her was growing, not ebbing, and next time he would not be able to walk away. And walk away he must, for if he ever saw shame in her eyes because of something he did, it would possibly kill him. His only option was space and time. These feelings arose quickly and only with physical distance and absence could they disappear.
Crevan took a step back. “I also wanted to say something about what happened . . . between us . . . outside.” He paused to cough and clear his throat. “I cannot explain why I did that, other than it was a natural thing to do. You and I would probably have embraced any person in the same circumstances. But for the sake of our friendship, I think we should agree that it won’t happen again.”
Raelynd stood shocked. Crevan had done everything possible to avoid even the word kiss. And what they had shared was a kiss. But he was trying to say that the incredible experience that left her and him breathless—meant nothing. And until just now, she would have agreed for she had been trying to convince herself of the same thing. Now she was not so sure.
Raelynd closed the distance between them intending to test his conclusion and see just how indifferent he would remain if she pulled him into an embrace similar to the one they had shared after exiting the Lower Hall. But before she could even initiate her plan, there was a knock on the door.
“Raelynd? It’s me, Meriel.”
Crevan hastened to the section of the wall next to the hearth. As he moved a tapestry aside, she could see a small door. Without saying another word, Crevan pushed it ajar and disappeared down the secret passageway, letting the weaving swing back into place, once again hiding the opening. A second later, Meriel entered, not waiting for her sister to beckon her in.
“I thought Crevan was up here,” Meriel murmured, looking around the obviously empty room.
“He was here, and we talked. I think we are both going to try to be friendlier in the future,” Raelynd said, slowly edging her way to one of the arrow slits. Her sister was talking but she was not paying attention. Instead, she scanned the scene below until Crevan finally came into view and then disappeared into the blackness of night.
The man was exasperating and frustrating and many, many other things, but Raelynd knew that her feelings for Crevan had grown significantly in the past few days. At times, she had thought of him both as an enemy and as a friend, but he had grown to be much more than either. She was confident that if she had kissed him when he was in her room he would have succumbed to his physical desires and kissed her back. However, it would not have made his wishes for them to stay apart less real. Crevan wanted to limit their relationship. At most, he would allow them to be friends, like Craig and her sister.
Raelynd knew she should feel relieved. The last thing she had ever wanted was any type of entanglement, especially an emotional one. And yet, it was not relief that filled her. It was a far more disturbing emotion. One she didn’t recognize and was afraid to name.
Meanwhile, Crevan headed back to his blanket he’d left by the loch’s shoreline. He lectured himself that his meeting with Raelynd was a successful one. He had met with her—in her shift no less—looking beautiful and nothing had happened. Finally, he was making progress.
Deep down though, Crevan was well aware that his control was only borrowed. “Aireamh na h-Aoine ort, Cyric,” Crevan cursed out loud. Everything was that man’s fault. The faster he was out of the Highlands the better.
Chapter 11
“Tog às a’ rathad!” came a sharp heckle.
Raelynd let go a small high-pitched shout. It was not quite a scream, but it was enough to make the little boy cackle with satisfied joy.
“That’s just Gideon,” Brenna said, wrinkling her nose at the proud interloper. Another little boy ran up and collided with him so that they both fell to the ground laughing, supremely pleased with themselves. “He is almost as baoth as Braeden.”
“Just whom does he belong to?” Raelynd asked, not even attempting to hide her irritation, and stepped around both wriggling bodies. She had only been there for two days, but Brenna’s brother seemed to be constantly underfoot every time she ventured out of the tower. Having a friend to encourage his teasing behavior and reward its success was going to make this month even longer.
Brenna pointed to a large cottage not far away. “He’s the son of Mama’s best friend. Miss Aileen’s really nice, but her son,” she said with a sneer, looking back at Gideon to give him one last glare, “is not. I cannot wait until Bonny is old enough to help me get back at them. It’s not fair there are two of them and only one of me,” Brenna huffed.
Then seeing a woman emerge from another cottage, Brenna instantly got over her anger and ran toward the plump lady, giving her a large hug. Raelynd found it hard to believe just how many people Laurel’s little girl knew. When she had agreed to let Brenna introduce her to some of the clansmen and women, Raelynd had never dreamed she would be introduced to any more than a handful of people. And yet, every few steps they were forced to stop. Raelynd was beginning to wonder if little Brenna was unusual for knowing so many of her people, where they lived, what they did, and what was going on, including the good and bad in their daily lives—or if she herself, being Laird Schellden’s daughter, was atypical for knowing so little about any of her clansmen who lived outside the castle. Raelynd had a sinking feeling that it was the latter, not the former.
“Ceud mìle fàilte!” came a melodious shout from the cottage Brenna had just pointed to. A woman with light amber-colored hair appeared and was walking briskly toward them. Tall and broad shouldered, her features were strong and yet held a delicate, refined quality that made her very attractive. “You must either be Lyndee or Meriel Schellden. I’m Aileen, Gideon’s mother.”
Raelynd blinked at the name Lyndee. Somehow, coming from this woman, the nickname she had given herself seemed silly and immature. “You can call me Raelynd.”
Aileen’s brown eyes softened. “Then Raelynd it shall be. My husband is the commander for Laird McTiernay and—”
A small hand tugged Raelynd’s dress. “—and she’s Mama’s best friend.”
Aileen smiled. “That is right. I am,” she said to Brenna. “And I hope we can become friends as well. And just where is your little sister? I thought you were to play with Bonny today.”
Brenna smiled. “She’s taking a nap. I’m too old for naps and Lyndee said I could play with her.”
Aileen shook her head and then looked back at Raelynd. “Well, if all is well I must go, but I am really looking forward to meeting you more formally this evening.”
Raelynd’s brows furrowed. “This evening . . . ?” she repeated softly, drawing the word out.
“Tha mi duilich,” Brenna whispered, biting her bottom lip. “Mama sent me to tell you this morning about the party,” she said in a voice barely perceptible. “I forgot.”
Raelynd’s heart skipped a beat. Another party? “When?”
Aileen interjected to Brenna’s relief. “Tonight at sundown in the Great Hall. Laurel assured me it is supposed to be a very small guest list.”
The mention of the guest list size did not do anything to calm Raelynd’s racing pulse. She and her sister had taken their meals in their rooms since last evening. Only little Brenna had been able to coerce Raelynd
from her chambers to go visiting. The little girl was about to put her and Meriel in danger of repeating their first mistake of not being ready for dinner. Though this time it would not be their fault, Raelynd doubted Laurel would understand or even care.
Grabbing Brenna’s hand, Raelynd sent a quick smile to Aileen. “I look forward to seeing you tonight, but we must return now. I need to tell my sister and ensure we are ready in time.”
Aileen’s brows shot up and there was a twinkle in her eyes to match her knowing smile. Raelynd knew instantly that the woman was fully aware of what had transpired the night before, and in a way, she felt judged. But what Aileen’s conclusion was about her, Raelynd could not discern. And at the moment, it did not matter.
Brenna almost had to run beside Raelynd to keep up with her long, hurried strides back to the castle. “What’s wrong, Lyndee?”
“Nothing,” Raelynd answered quickly. “I just don’t want to be late tonight.”
Brenna stopped short, yanking Raelynd’s arm, forcing her to halt as well. “Let’s go back to the village! We have lots of time and I wanted to show you the training fields. I promise Mama won’t come get us for hours.”
“No,” Raelynd said, her voice somber. She had almost replied, I won’t ever be humiliated like that again, but she stopped herself just in time. “It is important that I tell my sister and that we are not late. We can see the fields another day. Besides, I need to ask your mother to make sure your uncle Conan is invited this evening.”
Brenna’s silver-specked eyes widened to saucer size. “Uncle Conan? No one ever wants him to be at dinner—at least not girls.”
Raelynd fought to hide her mischievous smile. Brenna was young, but the little girl was exceptionally perceptive. “Well, I assure you that I am not like everyone else and that I most certainly do want your uncle to be there. We have much to discuss. So I need to go.”
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