by Sara Orwig
“You’re not out of practice either, Nick.” He accepted her compliment. “You know, if you’re so steeped in politics, I imagine you are out and about plenty.”
“Usually at stuffy dinners or fund-raisers. Not much time to find a pretty woman and dance at those events.”
He wasn’t sure but he thought he saw her cheeks blush before she turned her head. He pulled her slightly closer and gave himself over to the dance. He liked the sensation of having her in his arms. She felt good. Familiar. From out of the blue, one thought kept reverberating in his head. This woman could have been your wife.
He still felt heartache thinking about what could have been.
Four years ago when Claire had turned down his marriage proposal and he returned to Washington, he’d turned to Karen. They had dated in college and law school, and known each other since high school, so their relationship seemed only natural once she’d accepted a job in DC working in the office of a friend of her father’s.
Nick couldn’t work things out with Claire and Karen was there, in DC, wanting to go out, charming him and filling a big void. She was from Dallas, their parents were friends and she would live wherever he wanted. She had wanted marriage. His firm wanted their young attorneys married and so did his parents. He still loved Claire but he knew it was over between them.
Doing what his family, his firm and his career indicated he should, he had proposed to Karen. He could still remember a moment at his wedding when he had been hit by a wall of longing, knowing that it should have been Claire beside him, but he had banked those feelings. Karen had been a good wife, seductive and beautiful, and he had grown to appreciate her more each year. She catered to him, bolstered his career, moved with him, and in return he gave her the social life she wanted. Both sets of parents were happy. Claire was out of his life.
But he had never forgotten her.
Even now, as he danced with her, he had to remind himself that there wasn’t any point in trying to see her again after tonight. She was tied to her family and to Houston more than ever, while he had his life in Dallas and DC and he had a political career that held golden promises for the future.
What about the sizzling current he felt as they danced? There was no denying she still had a physical effect on him, but that might simply be because he had been alone for so long now.
As he spun her around and dipped her in time to the music, he was swept away by vivid memories of holding her tightly, kissing her, making love to her. For an instant desire flashed, hot and unwanted, as he looked down at her mouth, wanting to hold her close, feel her softness while he kissed her. He remembered how soft and sweet her lips had been, and more than anything he wanted to taste them again. The desire was undeniable. Lust slammed into him, rising to the surface and surprising him after two long years of total numbness.
But he wouldn’t kiss her.
He couldn’t.
He swung her up to continue dancing, trying to cool down, to forget the scalding memories. There was no future in seeing Claire and he would not start that again.
Trying to divert his mind from taking her right there on the dance floor, he began questioning her. “Who’s the man in your life, Claire?” he asked, certain there had to be one.
She shook her head. “There isn’t one. No time. I’m too busy running the office, making sales myself, taking care of my family, visiting Grandpa five days a week. I don’t have a social life except through the office, church and family. I keep thinking it will change and things will settle down, but that hasn’t happened.”
“Maybe you’re working too hard. How big is your agency?” He was grateful for the safe path the conversation now took.
“I have three offices and almost seventy salespeople. We deal in commercial and residential properties.”
“That’s a big business,” he said. Studying her, Nick guessed she was tied into work most of her waking hours. “How many offices did you have when your grandfather turned things over to you? I thought there was only one.”
“One is correct,” she replied. “Good memory, Nick. I’ve been very lucky and have some great people who work for me.”
“I imagine luck is only a part of it. Congratulations. I’m impressed,” he said, meaning it. “You have to be a busy woman.”
“I am busy. And I’ve got a full day tomorrow. I’m flying home at six in the morning. Have to be at the airport at four because I’m not one to run out there at the last minute.”
“I’ll take you to the airport.”
She laughed, her eyes suddenly twinkling, stirring another flash of desire as he remembered the fun he once had with her. “Thanks, Nick, but that’s beyond the call of ‘for old times’ sake.’ I already have a limo reserved. Thanks, anyway. That’s very nice of you.”
“If you change your mind, the offer stands.”
The number ended and a fast one started. As they danced and he watched her hips move, he was assailed by memories once again. He couldn’t help remembering making love with her. He couldn’t help wanting her now, which shocked him again. He had a reaction to Claire that he hadn’t had to any other woman since Karen. Maybe it was time for him to come back into the world. Yet, even as he thought that, he knew he didn’t want to get involved with any woman at this time in his life. Definitely not Claire. He’d been there and done that and gotten hurt badly.
Trying to stop watching Claire so closely and shutting down the erotic images in his memory, he was grateful when the song ended. “Ready to sit one out? I’d like a sip of wine.” They returned to the table.
They talked through their dinners—steak for him and salmon for her, which he noticed she barely ate. She had to be worried about something at home, her family or business, because she seemed preoccupied. He felt a wall between them, but he didn’t particularly care. After a polite goodbye, he wouldn’t see her again, so it didn’t matter.
If she had said she was seeing someone, he would have not been surprised. The invisible barrier between them kept her restrained, as if she had accepted his invitation tonight to be polite and she would be glad to tell him goodbye. Two or three times he had caught her looking at him with an intensity that startled him. Was she still thinking about their last angry moments together? Each time she had quickly looked away, her face had flushed. So there was something disturbing her, keeping a wall up...
Was it him? But that was impossible, unless she was still hurting from their breakup. But he couldn’t imagine that she hadn’t gone on with her life. Or was it—
No. He had to stop attempting to figure out what she might be thinking. Soon she would be out of his life again, this time probably for good.
She may have been thinking the same thing, because she put down her coffee cup and said, “Nick, it’s been interesting to see you and I know it’s not late, but I have an early flight.”
“Sure,” he said, picking up on her need to leave. He signed for the check and led her out, telling himself it was for the best. But he couldn’t help the disappointment that he never would know the reason for those intense looks.
* * *
As Nick drove her back to the hotel, Claire rehearsed asking him to come in for a few minutes. She knew that, being the gentleman he was, he would see her to her door. Once there, it would be so simple to invite him in. But there would be nothing simple about confessing to him she had given birth to his son. Informing him that he had a three-year-old son was not the sort of thing to tell him over dinner in a public place. She had to be alone with him and her last opportunity was approaching.
At the hotel, he gave his car to the valet, saying he’d be right back.
She shivered as they walked into the lobby, blaming the chilly evening air. As they rode up in the elevator and walked to her door, her stomach was in knots and she dreaded breaking the news to him. Nick still seemed wrapped in mournin
g for his wife, but the fact that he had lost his unborn child made it imperative to inform him of his son.
She couldn’t look back and wish she had told him long ago because that was over and done. Maybe she should take a few days to think things through before she told him about Cody. She hadn’t had time to really consider how the situation was going to change her life and Cody’s life permanently. Not to mention Nick’s life, too.
“Claire, is something wrong?”
His voice cut into her reverie and she started, realizing she was still standing in front of her hotel room door, the key card in her hand.
He’d given her the perfect opening...except the words wouldn’t come. Even though she was freezing, perspiration broke out on her forehead and her palms grew damp.
Tell him. Tell him now.
But she couldn’t.
“No, I just got to thinking about something that has become a problem in my life,” she said.
“Maybe you’re working too hard,” Nick said quietly, running his finger along her cheek.
She looked up into those deep blue eyes with thick lashes, into Nick’s handsome face. Nick was a good person, intelligent, sophisticated, reasonable, charming. She should just tell him about his son. At the same time, she recalled the bitter accusations they had flung at each other when they had parted—she’d called him a selfish rich guy who always got what he wanted, while he’d accused her of not having a life of her own.
If she told him about his son, what hurtful things would they say to each other tonight? She didn’t want to go through that kind of stormy battle with Nick again.
“Nick—” She paused. The moment she told him, Cody would no longer belong to her side of the family only. She would have to share him and let him stay with Nick. Or worse. Would Nick try to take Cody from her?
“Yes?” Nick prompted, curiosity in his expression.
“I had a really good time tonight,” she said softly, barely able to get out the words.
He tilted his head to look intently at her again. “I’m glad. I wasn’t sure you were having that much fun. It was a good evening for me. How about a kiss for old times’ sake?” he said and leaned down to place his mouth lightly on hers while his arm circled her waist.
The moment his mouth touched hers, she felt the sparks she always had with Nick. His arm tightened around her waist and his mouth pressed against hers more firmly, opening her lips as he really kissed her, a deep, sexy kiss that for a few minutes stopped her worrying and fears, and shut off memories of their past and the big problem facing her.
Her heart pounding, she clung to Nick and kissed him in return, knowing it was folly, but unable to stop. She was swept back in time, into memories of Nick’s steamy, passionate kisses that had stolen her heart so quickly. She ignored the voice in her head that warned her she couldn’t let that happen again.
She clung to his broad shoulders, too aware of the hard, muscled body pressed against hers. Desire seemed to explode from his scalding kiss. It had been so long since she had been held by a man and kissed with such intensity.
When they moved apart, he was breathing as hard as she and he looked startled. His kiss had shaken her, igniting desire that burned through worry and made her stop thinking for a few minutes. But now, as she faced him again, she saw his blue eyes were filled with curiosity. Nick was an intelligent man and he had already picked up on something worrying her.
She couldn’t tell him. The words wouldn’t come to invite him in. She could take a few days to think about what she intended to do and to consult her family lawyer. She smiled at him, trying to pull herself together. “Thank you for the wonderful dinner, Nick. It was good to see you again. I am so sorry about your wife and baby.”
“You’re saying all the right things, Claire, but why do I have a feeling there is something else you want to say?” he asked, studying her as if he hadn’t ever seen her before.
“No, Nick. I’m just overworked at home.” Nervous, wanting to get away from him, swamped in guilt at the same time, she inserted her card into the door with such a shaky hand, she couldn’t get it to work.
Nick’s hand closed over hers and he opened the door for her. Even in her upset condition, she noticed the physical contact, the warmth of his fingers that sent an electric charge up her arm with his touch. “If you ever want to talk, I’m an old friend, Claire,” he said quietly.
She felt as if she had fallen into ice water. “Thank you. Good night, Nick,” she said, stepping inside and holding the door, turning to look at him. “I’ll keep that in mind.”
He nodded, giving her one more searching look before walking to the elevator.
She started to close the door and guilt swamped her. Could she live with her conscience if she flew home to Houston and didn’t tell Nick?
Closing her eyes, she opened the door just as the elevator doors opened. Nick glanced over his shoulder, saw her watching him and frowned.
“Nick, can you come in for a little while?”
He turned, once again giving her one of his probing looks that filled her with dread. Nick could be formidable. He had power, wealth and a state-wide network of cronies with influence. What would he do when he found out about Cody?
“Claire, I’ll be happy to help with a problem,” he said in a gentle voice, but it did nothing to ease her fear.
“Come in and let’s get a drink,” she said, leading him into the living area of her suite, which overlooked the sparkling lights of the city from the twenty-fourth floor. She switched on one small lamp that gave a soft glow in the quiet room. “I’m trying to think things through before I start talking. Just give me a minute,” she said. “What would you like?”
“Let’s see if there’s any beer in that fridge you have,” he said. Looking in the small refrigerator, he held up a bottle of white wine. “Would you like this?”
“Yes, thank you,” she said.
“I’ll pour your wine. You go ahead and think so we can talk. I’m in no hurry, Claire.”
She nodded and he went to pour her wine, but as she watched him walk away, she knew she couldn’t think this through in just minutes. She got her phone out of her purse, still half wanting to tell him to forget it and talk to him later, by phone from Houston. Each time she had thoughts like that, guilt chased them away. She couldn’t fly home without telling Nick that he had a child.
Perching on the edge of an ottoman, she watched him stroll back into the room. She couldn’t have chosen better for the father of her child. Nick had so many good qualities. She hoped forgiveness was one of them.
He handed her a glass of white wine. When his fingers brushed hers, he frowned slightly. “You’re freezing,” he said, his hand covering hers. His hand was warm and in other circumstances would have been reassuring. But not now. He knelt in front of her. “What’s wrong? It can’t be money with the successful business you have. Are you not well?”
She shook her head, unable to say anything.
“How can I help?” he asked gently.
“I want to talk to you. Have a seat, Nick. This may take a while.”
His probing gaze searched hers again before he rose, pulled a straight-back chair close and sat. She sipped her wine and set the glass on an end table. When she did, he took her hand, holding it between his two warm hands.
“Do you want me to get you a blanket?”
“No, I’ll be all right.” They gazed at each other and she realized he was being quiet to give her a chance to think and to let her talk when she was ready.
“Nick, the night you proposed...we had a terrible fight and you said goodbye. You walked out and we didn’t see each other again. It wasn’t many months until you were engaged to someone else and headed for a political career. I’m sure you remember.”
“Of course I do. We couldn’t work things out.�
� He took a swallow of his beer, as if to wash away the memory of their breakup. “Karen and I had known each other for years and we’d dated in college and at one point had talked about marriage. When she came to work in DC she called me and I started seeing her. She was from Dallas, had no ties that would interfere with the two of us. My family pushed me to marry and start a family. You had already turned me down. That last time you and I were together...it was terrible. I imagine you were as hurt as I was. It was clear that it was over between us.”
She nodded her head, giving him the affirmation he was looking for. Then he continued.
“I proposed to Karen and she accepted. I know it was fast and I know I should have called to let you know so you heard it from me, but...well, I didn’t think you’d want to hear from me at all.”
“I heard you were dating and then I heard you were engaged. I was shocked, but I understood that we couldn’t work out our problems. You had your life in politics and in DC at the time, working at that well-known law firm. It was obvious you would be successful and you were ambitious. The hurtful words we had finally ended it between us. I let you go out of my life and I knew eventually you would have your own life, your wife, your family.”
“That’s what I planned,” he said quietly, looking down at the beer in his hand and then taking a drink before he lowered it to look at her and wait for her to speak.
“We had really gone our separate ways and you were starting a new life.”
“What you want to tell me—does it have something to do with me?” he asked, sounding puzzled.
She nodded. “I just want you to remember that you had your own life planned, a new career, a future in politics, a new wife. You lived in your world.”
She could see she had his full attention and she was certain he was trying to figure out how anything in her life could involve him. She took a deep breath and hoped she wasn’t making the biggest mistake of her life.
